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I only engage sincerely with those ready and willing to deal with themselves and others in naked honesty about themselves. I don't care what you call yourself, it's really about how you act and not what labels you declare. Dont hide behind labels like "sub" or "slave" or "male", explain your identity and motivations properly. What makes you say you are sub, slave or male? What do you think that means? When you enter into my world, A submissive is only interested in finding a situation they wish to submit to. They really don’t care who they are serving as long as that person fits their fantasy of a Dominant Woman/Man. A boyfriend/girlfriend wants to make a human connection with someone and live “happily ever after” with them, to build their fantasy life, whatever that might be: whether it looks like “normal except behind closed doors”, playing househusband behind a white picket fence, or a dehumanized sextoy strung up in the dungeon on weekends. A slave doesn’t care about any of that. It serves the one that owns it, whatever the situation. It is about satisfying the one it chose, not about itself. It doesn’t want any connection with anyone, including its owner, that would distract it from being the most useful creature to its owner possible. It feels the same way about its owner no matter the situation and no matter how its owner feels about it. It does not need the owner to validate its feelings or existence, only for the owner to show it what it should be and to give it something to achieve. I am looking for a slave. Not a sex toy, submissive, ornament or boyfriend. I use other means to meet and procure those. If your thoughts of service circle around various sex acts or activities that incite sexual excitement; If your idea of slavery is standing in a corner and basking in your self-inflicted, self-percieved humiliation, doing nothing, contributing nothing, completely useless and ignorant to your Owner; If your expectations in serving a Mistress is to be in some kind of relationship+ situation with her in eventuality, whatever the at, to, in effect, have a kinky dominant wife or girlfriend, or some similar vein of delusion; If your entire thought process circles around what you want done to you and what you want to do, rather than what you can offer, if you can't even tell the difference; If you are a masochist or bottom looking for someone to service your kinks as they arise, or who believes the Mistress-slave relationship is a mutual trade of chores for kink fulfilment, you will only be wasting my time. Being my slave would give you purpose.
You understand that serving someone is putting your heart and mind towards achieving what they need of you, whatever that is, and ensuring their satisfaction in your service, no matter what.
You understand that it means you are always their loyal creature whether you are at their feet or not. They have priority, always. You approach it as a standing commitment and not a game to be dropped at your convenience and picked up as you please. You are their ardent attendant and devotee, it would be unthinkable to be anything else.
You respect yourself enough to make an honest attempt at anything asked of you. Fear of failure is not a valid excuse.
You respect me as myself and do not project your own fears and delusions on me.
Recognise that you serve me, not "a Mistress", not "a Dominant woman", not even your personal idea of me. Me. You will decide for yourself whether you want to be in my service, then you will endeavour to win my trust and reliance. You must be the one to convince me that you are my slave, and the best way to do so is to prove yourself my slave.
Start by telling me what you hope to achieve by entering my service and how you can serve. What do you see yourself as? What is the difference between what you’re looking for from me and a common relationship where you just voluntarily do whatever your partner wants? Ground Rules:
- Have faith. If you are unwilling and unable to trust me, you should not be asking to be my slave.
- Do what you're told and what you say you will.
- Ask me for clarification if you do not understand something or how something should or can be done. - I am your priority. I will decide all your other priorities. If you need to put something else before me, ask. I will either agree or show you how and where you thought wrongly.
- Speak to me regarding limitations and conflicts so I can decide if my instructions need to change or if you're just unwilling to serve. Although, why apply to serve me if you won't do what I want you to? Final Points:
- Anyone who wishes to be my slave understands that there will be others in my home who would be aware that you are my slave, and where deep beliefs against a woman’s freedom of partners would interfere with your ability to serve. -If you have other partners in any capacity (marriage, girlfriend, boyfriend, another Mistress/Master), don't bother unless I can meet them at some point. I am open to arrangements where the slave has an equal to “go home to”, but not to scenarios where I become an escape for them from their responsibilities. - I welcome cross- and trans- persons. I have deep affection for you, really. But I do not and will not put up with the hair-splitting vocabulary that keeps popping up around the subject. I will use what language is appropriate to my view and address you in the pronoun I identify you as. - However, if you insist on parodied femininity because it warms you with humiliation to look like or call yourself a woman, know that you are a misogynist making the world worse for all women and sincere trans persons everywhere. - I am a sadist, not a service top. I torment as the inclination strikes me, not as others wish. I have no specific interest in recruiting masochists. Sadism is satisfied by misery, not masochistic joy. Being a sadist towards a masochist is denying them what they really want, not giving it to them. In other words, whipping a boy who takes enjoyment from it would not satisfy me the same way it satisfies to whip a boy who does not enjoy but endures it. - And boys, so that it is clear, eventhough I am a sexual woman, you could never be any sort of "man" to me. I am poly. My preference is the "V"model, where my partners engage with me with knowledge of but without attachment to one-another. I date and take lovers and play partners as I please, where I please, but this will not be you. The very suggestion of a slave being any sort of sexual or romantic partner to their Master should be unthinkable. Do you get hot under the collar every time a dog goes into heat? Do you take a specific interest in what turns your dog on or off? Why then would you expect me to be interested or aroused by your sexual anything? - In case it is unclear, I am looking for servants to show up regularly (think weekly to monthly) to attend to their tasks, not boys who want to "try and see" or the occassional weekend fantasy bdsm fling, and certainly not lonely hearts looking for a wan to take care of their fragile fetishes and egos. Seriously. - If you're unsure if I'm screwing with you, ask.

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12/15/2022 4:38:41 PM

Whatever he feels threatened by in giving up, that is where his sense of power truly is.

Whatever he does not allow to be spoken ill of, that is what he truly worships.

Whatever he would do anything to attain, that thing, and not the vehicle of that thing, is what he wants to be a slave to.

Whatever he actually does anything for, turns to unwittingly in uncertainty, listens to without question, that is what owns him.


Women's inboxes are mostly a junkheap of "tell me you havent read a word Ive written without saying that you havent read it", especially around the holiday seasons.

So, lets play a game.

Suggest to me some form of colleteral. Something tangible, meaning that it has material form, and of recognised value, meaning most people, including me, must agree it has some kind of value or meaning. Abstract concepts like promises and "obedience" don't count, they are intangible, not to mention unverifiable and most of you offering it up have no clue what the hell they are anyway. The key to your chastity counts, that certainly has universally recognised value. We will set it up. Then tell me you have read and understood me without saying you have read and understood them. if you lose, I keep the collateral. If you win, I gain a new trainee.

Naturally, it requires that you got even this far in order to play.

11/25/2022 1:49:27 PM

There are some things in the universe that, while unsavoury, are facts.

Fact: Men and women think differently, have different values, and different concerns. This will remain so as long as we raise boys and girls differently, and as long as there are differences in experiences that exist solely because of gender and sex. For example, being raised to carry mace in your purse. Or not accepting friendship from men you have no sexual interest in. Or being told constantly that boys are rougher and tougher than girls. Or that girls are better than boys.

Fact: Most men fail at finding a female Dominant because they apply male thinking and male standards to what they call their submission. True, some women are masculine minded enough for the offers to align, but mostly not.

Fact: Most people who believe they can better convince someone of their position in person or speech than text think so because they rely heavily on manipulation in their social interactions. Manipulation includes techniques to change a person's mind as well as skills such as observation of the person's body language, and adjusting oneself to interact accordingly. It does not have to be deliberate or malicious.

Fact: Most people are unable to appreciate the full meaning of "anything" and "nothing". Sometimes not even when it smacks them in the teeth.

Fact: Being attracted to Dominant people does not make you a submissive. Wanting and enjoying things done to you does not make you submissive.

Fact: Allowing identities to spring up around descriptive words is a terrible idea. You end up warpping the meaning of the words and muddle the defining characteristics of the identity group. 

Fact: The only reason there is no "wrong way" to be in BDSM is because it is a catchall for every deviation from the expectations of the norm. On the whole, this has worked out only because a box for all the odds and ends rather than one box for each different thing presents better social efficiency. 

Fact: Insisting you are or are not something does not make you that. Being it is the only thing that does.

Fact: Most people are not exceptions

2/10/2022 7:43:19 AM

A summary of changes in my circumstances since 2019:

I am in the midst of moving from Lower Mainland British Columbia to Snohomish Washington.

I have remarried, we are very happy. As before, he is very much aware of what I do and we have nothing to hide from each other. As always, my slaves belong to me and only me, and will be expected to serve without reservations regardless of who is present. 

We are moving about 30min out of the city and trying our hand at starting a small home farm, think chickens, a large dog, herbs, vegetables, and the like.

I am open to hearing from those who are interested and able to contribute their genuine efforts into the above: this means you have the means to come out to us on your own, are able to meet and not just wanting to talk forever about it, and skills and knowledge relevant to living this kind of life, such as genuine domestic skills, gardening or animal husbandry knowledge, handyman skills for small build projects, or any other fields I may not have thought of. (Unfortunately, your fantasy and desire to suck cock or lick pussy is still not a relevant skill)

At this stage, I am more inclined to accept persons able to add a feminine energy to my life, regardless of their gender or sex.

 Age is irrelevant, only your health and ability to work.

3/14/2018 10:24:12 PM
Happy White Day, boys and girls. Today‘s secret will get you far if you truly understand and live by it:
Yes, each Dominant has their own idea of what service is and what they want in a slave or submissive, but there is actually a “correct answer” to one of the penultimate hidden questions central to any slave application. Or rather, there are 2, one each for the male and the female temperament.

First, the question: “Why do you want to be my slave?” - note the difference between “a slave” and”my slave”. Whether the Dominant outright asks the question or not is immaterial, we all ask it in our minds. Those who don’t ask outright are choosing to find your answer through other means. 

The skeleton key answer to the male temperament is “Because you excite me beyond reason and pride”.

The skeleton key answer to the female temperament is “Because I want to be a part of your world, and this is the only way you‘ll let me”. 

— Also, yes, the SF offers are still active. If I get enough interest we might hold a “slave olympics”

3/8/2018 8:44:26 PM
Now taking suggestions for things to do and eat in San Francisco in the 2nd week of May.

This is a very real opportunity for someone to be my guide and valet/personal concierge while I’m in town, to suggest entertainment and activities, drive or otherwise arrange transportation, make meal suggestions and bring food, carry shopping, or arrange procurement of the million little things we somehow always neglect to pack when we travel. this will be a work/vacation trip for myself and my boyfriend, though I will have most of the days to myself.

I would love to go shopping with a cross-dresser or trans-person (of the appropriate attitude). Having a crossdressing valet at my whims is a very attractive prospect. I am, however, not interested in hearing about how you want to be humiliated and fucked, as though I am a ProDomme interviewing you for a session. I’ll do whatever I want whenever I want, within my boundaries. We can discuss the limits of those boundaries, of course, but I am not interested in your fantasies or what you hope I will do to you. 

I would also be interested in meeting a girl for sensual/sexual adventure. Must have boobs and a vagina. 

2/18/2018 3:43:24 PM
The main problem for many of those wanting to become a Mistress’s servant or slave, I am starting to realise, is that they don’t actually appreciate what a servant or slave (an actual working one, not the fetish video kinds— the fetish video type crowd does fine except when they mistakenly think they actually want to be a servant or a slave, then it’s all wailing, teeth gnashing and rude awakenings because they don’t want to admit they’re barking up the wrong trees) is or how they are meant to behave. It’s one thing to know that a chicken is a bird farmed for food and see its pictures on the internet or books, and another to spend time observing a real one, watching how it actually moves and interacts with its environment. And many people today, both Dominant and submissive, have never seen or spent time appreciating the real lives and attitudes of servants and slaves. It’s mostly all sex fantasies made up in their own heads and mixed up with their own egos and vanity.

I would blame part of this on the social propaganda that made people ashamed to admit that they need or are servants and slaves by lying to everyone about their worth. Understand that worth and pride are different things, and that vanity again is different from either. Worth is your empirical place in the heirachy of your social group. The measure of worth differs from one social group to the next, and there is neither equality nor equity to be had in a functioning social group. In other words, the truth is, worth is measurable but not ranked; the lie is making us believe that one worth is better than another somehow. Every worth has their place. Although one worth may be more desirable for a certain scenario than another, there is no shame in being whatever worth you are. 

Self-worth, or Pride, on the other hand, is a subjective measure based on whether you have taken appropriate responsibility and fulfilled the potential of your worth, done your part to the best of your abilities and so on. Pride is earned. There is every reason to encourage justified pride, although, as it is a subjective measure, there will be many who take larger pride in themselves, expecting to be credited the same as those who have achieved a higher level of achievement than they have. The often misunderstood thing about pride is that it is a subjective measure, so how one measures deservedness will necessary differ from how another would measure it. Among equals, both perspectives are equally valid, therefore the question of justifiability is moot. In any other circumstances, the measure must be taken according to the scale and view of the party in authority. 

Vanity is the image one wishes to be considered notable for, which is not in fact directly related to either pride or worth.

But, coming back to the subject of having no appreciation for servants or slaves, put this way, it would seem a fairly odd and uninformed thing to beg to become someone's servant when you have no appreciation for the worth of one, or how most of them take pride, wouldn’t it?

1/23/2018 4:00:45 PM
Maybe the problem is I should be pursuing the live of a submissive? Where Domly-He takes care of all the banal and mundane and dotes on my every whim, so I need only sit comfortable and indulge my passions, maybe dazzle his friends now and again to make them jealous. Your thoughts?

1/10/2018 11:57:48 PM

I find that those who think slaves are provided for as a matter of course by their Masters don’t understand the value of slaves, and those who think their Masters owe it to them to take care of their wellbeing do not understand the meaning of “property”.

It is often erroneously argued that slave owners should provide for the slave in terms of room, board and general upkeep, that a slave does not and does not have to contribute materially to the household. Slaves of past ages are often cited as examples. This is a fallacy. Those slaves were compensated for the work he or she puts in with the food, clothing, and roof under which to sleep. In other words, they earn their room, board and general upkeep.

However, the value of the work slaves have traditionally done to earn their keep has plummeted by alarming rates. There just isn’t as much work available around the typical modern home as there used to be, and what work that is available is no longer as highly valued as it used to be.  Machines now take most of the drudgery out of maintaining a comfortable and hygienic house and modern conveniences such as internet shopping and ubereats has dramatically reduced the amount of attention that needs to be lent to many household tasks. When a slave cannot generate enough value to the household to justify their upkeep, there is no need for the slave.

One could certainly argue that being able to support a slave that brings no value to the house is a sign of power, but then, that’s the slave bringing value as a status symbol.

Now, fortunately, we as owners get to decide individually if what our slaves do is valuable to us. Unfortunately for the vast majority of would-be slaves, the owners decide. So if the owner decides that the slave has most value to them sitting in a closet doing crosswords, that’s where the slave is most valuable. In today’s world, it makes the most prudent sense to have a skilled slave work outside the home in an area they are skilled in, in order to provide value to their owners. This, however, is entirely up to the owner to decide. Not the slave.

Then there is the responsibility of taking care of one’s slave. This phrase is often misinterpreted. To say an owner is responsible for the wellbeing of their slave is not to say they are obligated to take care of their slave and make sure their slaves are happy! It is to say that the owner has no one to blame or praise but themselves for their slave’s wellbeing.

A slave is property. One does not owe it to their toaster to keep it clean and functional. Indeed, most people don’t. Many don’t maintain their appliances, they just replace them when they break. That is the nature of property. When you become property you become an item. To be used and disposed of per your owner’s will. 

Of course, the argument is largely true that a happy slave is a better worker, and it is also true in exactly the same way that a clean toaster works better. But it is entirely up to the owner to decide if they need or want to do it. There is always a trade-off point, after all, where it is more trouble than it’s worth to maintain something rather than just replace it.

By the large, owners who wish to keep their slaves in good running condition will take care of the slaves and those who don’t, won’t. This is entirely at the owner’s discretion. And of course, it is a slave’s prerogative to choose to serve a Master who does wish to keep them in good running condition; the point is, it is not an obligation. The owner does not owe it to the slave to take care of them.

If you as a slave do not think a Master is motivated to keep you in good running condition, you may not be the slave for them. That said, what have you done and what can you do in order to motivate them to keep you in good running condition? Consider the $2.99 ikea lamp you bought because you needed a cheap lamp and never really liked, vs the $1000 chandelier that you saved for a whole year to purchase, and the $16.99 lamp you bought because it was on sale but turn out to really like. Which are you, to any prospective owner? (Not what you want to be, but what you actually are.) Have you proven yourself to be more than a disposable “until something better comes along” item? Are you truly a worthy slave that they would want to keep around for as long as possible?


12/31/2016 1:41:53 PM
Service vs Ego.

A lot of men seem confused that Dominant women aren't impressed by what the men think are amazing services for them. It could be anything: abusing the male, dressing up the male, sexually humiliating the male, waiting on them hand-and-foot, or, most starkly, using the male for orgasms. And why should they be? These are things proposed in order to service the male's ego. That immediately defines the Dominant woman as merely a tool the male uses to stroke his own ego and further his own fantasies of being in service, or being a slave. And few Dominant women would tolerate being made a tool.

The mentality in males that Dominant women are necessarily interested in, nay, desperate for or defined by their need for willing males who wish to provide them with a subject to spank, lock in chastity, peg, used for endless sexual gratifications, or even for the males to treat them as a doll, to be forced into having everything done for them, is the reason so many Dominant women don't bother "coming out", and the reason so many self-proclaimed "submissive" and "slave" males have trouble finding women to serve.

It is, in fact, the simplest thing in the world to serve someone, man or woman: you find a person, and make yourself available to them, day or night, no matter what, and do whatever it takes to make them happy, to make sure they have no wants that are unfulfilled. You think only of what they want, and nothing about what you want from them. You do everything in and beyond your power so they can have the things they want. You don't even "want" to "make them happy", because that would be pressuring them to pretend to be happy with you for your sake. That is devotion. That is service.

The problem, however, is that this does nothing for those whose primary motivation for wanting to serve is to satisfy their own ego and fantasy of "being a slave".

I have been told that slaves deserve appreciation for every thing they do, and I have been told they deserve appreciation for being willing to serve. 

But Why?
Appreciation is inspired by things people done for us that is above and beyond their call of duty. We appreciate our friends for doing us favours because they did them even when they don't have to. We appreciate our partners preparing a lovely dinner because they did not have to. We appreciate employees for putting in extra hours on a project that isn't their job, or going the extra mile to do a better job than expected. The slave's job is to do everything their Master wants. Merely doing as one is told is therefore no cause for appreciation. When you have gone above and beyond, when you exceed expectations, that's when you naturally inspire appreciation from your Masters. it is an achievement, not a right. 

If one is unwilling to serve, there are no actual reasons that compels one to take that role. It is not a job that "someone has to do, so i'll suck it up and do it", unlike taking your turn to get up in the middle of the night for the baby. Even non-consensual slaves are non-consensual by consent. The world does not stop spinning and the Mistress does not shrivel up and die if one does not serve. Your desire to serve is not a "sacrifice" necessary to anyone. If and when it is, then and only then can you be appreciated for wanting to be a slave.
The ego desires recognition, it does in everyone. But when your true interest comes down to having the Dominant feed your ego on your schedule, according to your rules, and by your standards, who is actually serving whom?

It is important to recognise that the ego can desire some unusual things, because the ego's wants are tied into the person's desired self-image. The matyrs' ego craves persecution. The fetish-slave's ego craves fetish-humiliation (which is separated from actual humiliation as "the stuff that would be humiliating to someone else but I enjoy" as opposed to "something that I am actually humiliated by"). The activist's ego is tied into getting a reaction from people, good or bad.

"Being a slave means putting your Master before yourself", everyone knows that. This means putting them above your "self", your "id", your "ego". It sounds simple, "I'll just do everything for them, just do whatever they tell me to do and wait on them hand and foot".

The grand secret is, it isn't. 

Most will only go as far as following "orders" when the orders contain something convenient that they also want to do. That is not submission, that is not "putting another before yourself". That's picking up some milk while you happened to be at the store. Submission is going to the store for milk even though you wanted to watch the game.

Many cannot wrap their head how only the Dominant gets to define what service is, not them. That being on your knees is not service to the Dominant if the Dominant does not consider it service. That only what the Dominant wants matters, which means that what they want doesn't mater and what other people want doesn't matter. Whatever the Dominant wants. If that is for you to suck his cock every morning and have his cum for breakfast, that's service. If you want to suck his cock and have his cum for breakfast and he lets you, that's him indulging you, not your service to him.

But then, Ego. Your ego that wants to feel like you are capable of making a woman cum better and more than the next guy. Your ego that wants to feel despised specifically and only because of =insert your fantasy reason here=. Your ego that wants to feel like a =insert your fantasy id here=. Which is all well and fine on it's own, until you place your ego above the Dominant, and serve the ego instead of the Dominant (and demand the Dominant do the same).

And, the secret to most "slaves"' failure is, most women can tell. Of course, what each of us choose to do about it is our own discretion, but we can always tell.

12/10/2016 10:52:05 AM
This week was a flurry of Drama in Vancouver.

It's always the wintery months, it seems, that reactions to controversy like the going-ons become more amped up, almost as if it's worse because people have nothing else to do... this isn't a criticism on the allegations, only the dramatic response to it. The situation under discussion itself is not new, and will not be the last of its kind, but it does seem to me that similar allegations (with similar amounts of substantiation and response from those concerned) when made in the warm months do not escalate to this same degree of community action or attention. 

And the Drama itself, the hats people paint on themselves, the attention-whoring, the incredible obsession with being vindicated by a majority, the draw to be part of that majority, the kinds of obsession with popularity we were meant to have left behind with puberty... 

Some argue that is the price of being in a community, and I might agree, in abstract. In practice here, however, there are enough signs that the "price" is the point for one to wonder. 

12/2/2016 7:34:10 PM
Kink vs Sex vs Submission: the cheatsheet

If it involves stimulating your genitals to give you pleasure, it's sex.
Important: It does not matter if the stimulation was painful or unusual by vanilla standards. If you get pleasure from it, it counts. It does not matter what your genitals are being stimulated by, it's sex.

If it is unusual by vanilla standards, gives you pleasure but does not involve pleasant genital stimulations, it's kink.
Includes: "Unusual" activities that give you pleasure without stimulating your genitals; Activities that give you pleasure despite unpleasant stimulation to your genitals (Vanilla considers all such activities to be "unusual" by default); "Unusual" activities that give you pleasure that you want to do but only if pushed or "forced" by someone else asked you to

If it's something you did only because someone else wants you to, it's submission.

If it's something you honestly didn't want to do but did anyway because they told you to, it's submission.

If it's something you wanted to do and did it for someone who wanted you to, it's a happy coincidence (not submission).

If it is unusual by vanilla standards and gives you pleasure, and something you wanted to do but would not have done on your own, it's adventure (not submission).

An activity may start out as one thing and change to become another when how you feel about it changes.

Sex is submission only if you do not enjoy it and do not want it.

A kink that starts to sexually stimulate you becomes just sex.

Sex that still gives you pleasure but no longer stimulates your genitals becomes kink.

When you stop caring about either and only perform it because you have been ordered to, that's when it becomes submission.

11/10/2016 8:37:13 AM
Heading to Seattle on 22nd for thanksgiving.
Please check in before the 20th if we had plans between then and dec 1st.

11/3/2016 1:05:33 AM
I forget how the locals are. I tell the following story to give a deeper insight to what serving me and interacting with me in real life might actually be like rather than your little fantasies.

I have a new driver in Vancouver, new as in he has to date actually driven me a grand total of 2 times. His job is simple, he has a few basic protocols and 2 tasks to follow and perform. I was very upfront about it all, but maybe let's backtrack to the interview.

He had initially approached me, unsolicited, to offer me his services as a houseboy in Vancouver. Now, my current living arrangements in Vancouver makes having a houseboy irrelevant, even if I am not in the habit of letting complete strangers into my house just because they claim to be slaves. At that point I'd replied exactly that, and told him that I could use a driver now that I'm back in Vancouver from a long absence, a masseuse if he can provide appropriate proper credentials, and an errand boy, but if he is looking for regular cleaning jobs, he can work as a housecleaning service for me, cleaning other people's houses. He said he wanted to do all of it.

Come interview, he expressed he was only looking to do something for someone here and there, part-time, and he does not want to do any housecleaning or errands unless I am there "dominating" him (crop in hand, fussing at him, I gathered). He was unable to provide any credentials except a driver's license and first aid certification. Well, no-one I knew was dying and in need of first-aid at that point. I explained to him this means I will have very limited uses of him, and it's true. If I know you're not able or willing to be at my beck and call I won't bother spending energy becking and calling. If he chooses to serve me, I told him, his meagre willingness being what it is, then he will just be my driver, because, what the hell-- a car service is always useful. If he changes his mind and wants to be my slave proper, he needs to let me know and prove that he can be that.

He tells me he needs to be degraded. I ask him what he thinks that means. He replies to be treated like a real servant, not a friend or equal. This confused me. I explained why and asked him to elaborate. He gave examples like having to wait outside, not being allowed to sit on the furniture, upstairs-downstairs type protocol. That he considers this degradation is confusing to me, and I told him so. I told him, as those who have spoken to me know, that I am simply myself. I shall behave as I see fit, and command him as I see fit, not cater to his whims. On the up-side, I also see slaves as slaves and not "my wonderful friend doing me a favour". I told him I don't know if this fits his meaning of degradation. And anyway, I will be what I want. If he feels degraded by me doing what I do that is his issue and his feelings. If he is happy about it, well, good for him. I send him away to think about it.

That afternoon, he sends me an email stating he wants to do it, and tells me he can drive me on Fridays until the end of November. The first time barely met the passing grade, he seemed to be trying so I told him so and gave him points to improve on. The second time, there was no improvement in his behaviour. Clearly more work needed to be done. He said in the middle of the second trip that he wishes to serve me more often. Ok, I say, come get me next Wednesday (today). He needed to think about it. I roll my eyes and said fine, let me know by Sunday. Sunday comes around and he wrote me long whiney angry messages about how he wants to serve at parties and be used for cleaning, all but demanding I make that happen. I rolled my eyes. That's ridiculous, not going to happen. I don't cater to slaves. You fit to my convenience and needs. I don't create situations for you to feel good about yourself. And if you don't fit my convenience, you don't get to serve me. Simple. So if you change your mind about Wednesday, here's what you should do and what you must do to show me you are genuinely sorry. If not, I'll see you Friday as usual. He agreed.
---- Now, I recognise that this is where a certain bend of sub males would immediately go "wtf kind of Domme are you?! Whip him! Discipline him! Use him (as he'd said)!" -- you're welcomed to submit your reactions. It would be quite challenging, I imagine to come up with something I've not heard before.

Wednesday (today), he starts plaguing me in the middle of the workday, berating me for wasting his time. He "needs to feel that [his] servitude is growing under [me]". I have to show him his servitude is growing, apparently, whatever that means. Are you asking that I pretend you're doing better every time so you feel good about yourself? That's ridiculous. I should be the one being shown that your servitude is growing, all things considered. The tirade continues. He wants to be used a proper slave. Well, you haven't shown me anything worth considering as a proper slave, I said. "I am very experienced and have references" So? You didn't show me any references. I specifically said if you have references you should bring them and you didn't, so I don't believe you. And anyway, who cares about your "experience"? It only counts if it is experience serving me anyway. I wasn't degrading him. "You don't know what a Dominant woman is". --- I guess, since I wasn't making him feel the ways he wanted and repaying his service with his kink... and maybe, that is true. I have wondered on and off again about that these past 2 years while travelling. Maybe I just got mixed up about what a Domme is and really aren't one. If so, I apologise. I am having trouble finding another word that would accurately describe my views and expectations on slaves and my expectation to make use of them, as suits me, and only me, so if you have suggestions of appropriate terms, do suggest them.

In the 2 weeks between the first trip and now, he has pestered me on 4 separate occasions to let him "serve at a party or clean my (Domme) friends' house". Makes a girl feel like you're only talking with her to get to her friends, ya'know? Anyway, am I supposed to throw him a party to serve at? Pft. He hasn't even been able to get the driving protocols completely right and those can be counted on one hand. Usually agreeing to do something then constantly pushing to switch to something else is a red flag, but honestly I hadn't really paid any attention to him on the subject the previous 3 times.

"I need to exchange my service for degradation". I thought he was only being a whiney little bitch because he did feel degraded, it just wasn't the kind of degradation that made him all tingly inside and which he was looking for. I told him as much. 

I shaln't tell you the rest of what I told him in response to this latest accusation. Those of you who think you have understood what I am about should be able to guess and get it right. And anyway, from an empirical point of view, by what he defined as degradation, he should have nothing to complain of. His mission is to be at the pick-up point by a certain time and wait for me outside the car. He needs to stand there so I can spot him. He will wait there all night if he has to. I will not leave work just to be available for him. He will take me to dinner. (He is supposed to suggest 2 options for me, but so far he has been very bad at fulfilling this part. The first time he didn't even bother looking up possible places. The second he pulled up a tripadvisor page... not the detailed guide I gave him on how to look up and present possible options to me.) He will take me wherever I decide and wait outside while I do whatever I needed there. He should wait outside by the car. If I decide it is a situation where he will be in the way of the other patrons, I will tell him to stay in the car. He does not get to be involved in my meals or activities. I only direct him where to go because I don't want to spend 30 minutes waiting for him to figure out the roads. I have no regard for his "experience", I really can't muster any even if I try. I can't even be bothered to think of ways amusing to me to keep his kink running.

There was a little bit in there about my habit of saying thank you, too. I do say it. Being Dominant is no excuse for being without manners. Anyway, it's just a word. A lot of times I use it as a way of telling people I've had enough of them. It's a little odd how my daily business dealings understand this just from speaking with me on the phone but he could not understand it despite my having made sure to explain this part about my culture and upbringing at the interview when he brought up degradation. ---- I might as well talk about this here and now so you all learn at once. There are a lot of misconceptions about Asians, such as how we're "nice" and "polite" as a culture. The best insults in Asian languages have no "bad" words in them. In fact, they are poetic. Swear words are for uneducated, unimaginative peasants who can barely put a metaphor together. The less we like someone the more polite we are, hoping they will go away. Because manners isn't for the benefit of other people, it is the reflection of yourself and those who've raised you. So I will say please and thank you whenever I damn well please, it is just a word that, if we're honest, doesn't actually mean gratitude. If you have ever experienced Asian gratitude, you'll know what I mean. It isn't something we convey in words. These are words I use because I was raised with class and try to conduct myself with dignity. They reflect who I am, not what I think of what you're doing for me. I do it out of respect to those who raised me. I only don't when I am only barely keeping from ripping your throat out. Sarcastic renditions don't count, naturally.

I'm sure he pictured my explanations to be ranty and unDommely. I was quite sick of it myself since most of everything I had to say was said at the interview and I dislike repeating myself. My natural instinct, I admit, was to simply smile and wave him along to wash-out valley. I wouldn't even have bothered with this lengthy post, but I am trying to commit to being "more communicative" and it is awfully inane to expect people to understand what you're thinking if you don't tell them. 

The great shame of it is I was in the perfect mood to humiliate him publicly if he'd turned up today, before he started disrupting my day; and it was a great day to do it too, what wth all the rain and mud.

This wasn't about how he did horrible things or said horrible things or was a terrible slave etc. I maintain, if you want to be my slave then serve me. If you don't want to serve me then don't, and don't call yourself my slave; so likely I will not hear from him again (for another couple of years until he forgets or hopes I forgot about this time; yes, he has tried to serve me before, a point I didn't bother bringing up with him this time), and wouldn't think anything more of this or him when I wake up tomorrow. This was to give you a window into the reality of trying to be my slave through the experience of one such hopeful. How you reacted to it should tell you something about your understanding of and compatibility to me.

**update for posterity**
he sent me this "parting shot":
This is why You are playing this game. All you want is free ride. I can work 16/day 7/week, i am a hardworking slave that can make a Lady's life easier. i wish You were one.

but... of course I wanted the rides... that's the only reason he was allowed to be my driver....

10/30/2016 4:53:24 PM
A recent conversation spawned this stray thought regarding "Daddy" and their "princesses". On the one hand there is the DaddyDoms. I take no issues with them and their arrangements. The curiosity that started gnawing at me is the lack of "Daddyslaves"; stick with me here:

DaddyDom and Little Girls build their dynamics on Daddy being the loving disciplinarian and the little being into mental age regression, sometimes bratty, sometimes not. The disciplinarian aspect, to my understanding however, is key. No matter what, at the end of the day he is the authority. This harks to the "daddy's little girl" thing of childhood.

But in reality, there are equally the fathers who are downright submissive to their princess daughters, catering, spoiling, protecting, and not at all authoritative or concerned with discipline as long as princess is happy, who do everything and anything to bend the world to their princess' whims; and this setup is equally primed to be a D/s dynamic. So my curiosity is, is this a "thing" (existing major demograp; yes we know that everything is technically "a thing"), and if not, why not?

10/18/2016 2:18:08 AM
Being in the lifestyle is well on its way to turning me racist too I think... always the same drivel from a certain racial demograph... I almost hope they do turn out all to be the same guy on different socks. It'd be less depressing about the general state of humanity.

10/10/2016 8:39:17 PM
Brushed the trailing tailwinds of Hurricane Matthew and came away with a cold... 

10/4/2016 7:55:40 AM
Mid-week thoughts:

A. It's interesting how oyster and wine season feels different on the East Coast and the West.

B. After a while, most of the conversations start blending together. Every other "would-be slave" sounds the same, every other man, even. So how does one stand out from the crowd? How does one leave a lasting individualised impression? They say "be yourself", you'll find all manners of advice about how to talk to women, but does it really help if this bland, mindless platina is, in fact, their best self?

C. Are they really all just socks of the same guy?

9/28/2016 3:41:22 PM
So, Fantasies.

They say that women are stimulated and wooed from the mind, this is not wrong. A sexy person is much more attractive than a sexy body, to a woman; and it's no big revelation that males, hoping to attract females to mate with, will attempt any display to appeal to the feminine senses, this is true throughout the animal kingdom. By this reasoning, it is perfectly logical for men to post and send fantasy scenarios and little erotica stories hoping to attract the female eye.

"I wrote this story for you, Mistresses, I hope you like it!"
"Here's my fantasy, I hope it pleases you!"
And then be surprised to find that the potentially D-type women they have sent it to are less than amused. (Unless they're laughing at your jokes to get something out of you.)

Here's the problem: most of these stories are about the sub/slave.

To be fair, most BDSM stories are about the submissive perspective, it has more room for the dramatic, after all, and, to be fair, D-types can enjoy a good story (emphasis on good) regardless of which perspective it's told from.

But if you are presenting a pitch to a woman to convince her that you are a good investment, if you are wooing a lady to "awaken her inner Goddess" and embrace the Dominant power of She, what logical mind could possible believe that telling her a story about the joys and tribulations of being a slave would be effective?

9/22/2016 9:29:30 AM
I read this week somewhere that the BDSM Lifestyle is, at the end of the day, all about love. We could split hairs and play on the words, talk about the different kinds of love and bonds, but we'd know there's only one kind of love people refer to when they say such things -- romantic/sexual love, the kind of love between people sexually attracted to one another, the kind of love that gets them thinking about "a life together". The "normal" kind of love.

And the truth is, as melancholic as it is, it is what most people actually want from their Masters and Dominants and submissives and slaves. Normal love. The kind of love that would have been taboo and scandalous a mere hundred or two years ago between a Master and their slave. Suddenly, it all makes sense, and I am a little ashamed to admit I had not seen this earlier. No wonder so many s-types have such difficulty understanding such self-evident concepts like being your slave and not your boyfriend, husband or partner. No, it makes sense now. 

Their goal isn't to serve or be served, it is to recreate the taboo between Master/slave and have a love that transcends it. I get it now. I'm even a little sad that I am not disgusted or upset by the picture. It has all the trappings of a classic romantic tale, a Cinderella variation. No wonder.

And then there is the "FemDom" love, which serves a more narcissistic masochistic crowd, where pain is love and they will do anything to get it, even if it means destroying you, the Dominant/Master. The romance of mutual destruction. I get that too.

It isn't me, but I get it.
(And no, no matter how brilliant a slave you are to me, I will never love you like that.)

9/16/2016 12:17:38 PM
I am not age-ist, there is simply something common in specific age groups that I have noted and have a strong dislike for. I am referring specifically to the bottom-topping tendencies of the ("slave") male late 40s to 50s age group, and their inane habit of begging to submit to a Dominant woman, of swearing do whatever she says, then demanding that she conform to their fantasies, as if the woman was a paid actress. I wonder if they do this with Dominant men as well, those who seek out men instead of women to submit to?

Of course I understand that this sort of behaviour is to be expected of submissives whose entire goal is to pursue a fantasy experience (and although I have no ill will towards those whose needs are these, I still find it annoying to be harassed by them when I have made it very plain that I am not interested in their games), yes even those who call themselves slaves because it makes them tingle but aren't actually slaves or submissive.

The portion that confuses me are those who seem to genuinely believe that they are slaves all the while behaving in the contrary. How can you do such things and still believe you are a slave? It is like insisting you are vegan while chomping down on a rare steak!

I have met many in this category who believe that a slave is a creature to which a Mistress is responsible for fucking, abusing, humiliating, cuckolding and keyholding. That the slave exists only for the Mistress' abuse and humiliation, that the responsibility is on the Mistress to fully use the slave for these purposes (and these purposes only because that is the only purpose of slaves) and see that the slave accepts these administrations happily and without complaint... but if you cannot understand what is wrong with this picture you are not a slave.

9/10/2016 12:43:25 PM
Have you ever wanted to send the "take me away and I'll be your loyal forever slave!11" types somewhere scary just to see the look on their face?

9/7/2016 12:36:48 PM
I see the site has been eating my journals as well as my email notifications. How tiresome.

5/1/2016 7:46:08 PM
Shall be summering in the Boston area, perhaps stick around for the infamous Fall leaves. If you could find it in you to make time for me, and serve -- I mean truly serve --, gather your courage and write me.

2/4/2015 10:15:00 PM
This should be pretty obvious: It's rather silly to ask me, as an independent thinking woman, what I want, and then proceed to tell me what I should want, don't you think? And especially when you ask me, as a Domme how you may serve, then proceed to demand that I conform to all your silly fantasies like a puppet in your little self-centered, self-starring, self-directed show. It did make me giggle.

11/12/2014 1:29:15 PM
There is a general confusion as to what being "Dominant" means, where men in particular tend to mistake it for being "Needy". "Need" to be in control. "Need" to be obeyed. "Need" to be "worshipped". But what you'd really end up with there is a creature who is slave to your fantasy. Then again, that's really what most "submissive" men want at the end of the day, if they could just really listen to themselves.

10/27/2014 12:21:49 PM
If you are going to say things like "I want (you) to own (my) penis/balls" to me, you'd better mean you're prepared to cut it off and put it on a keychain for me to do with as I please, for real. That is the kind of sadist/sociopath I am. Be very careful what you ask for around me.

11/5/2013 5:44:26 PM

I am often asked about my "fantasy". This is one of the difficult ones. For a thing to be a fantasy, there needs to be a degree of improbability in its attainment; ergo, disqualifying most of the scope of the D/s dynamic that I consider ideal for me. I suppose if there must be one, it would be the moment where I fasten a permanent collar on someone and trot online with relief to announce that I am being satisfactorily served and am no longer looking. In all honesty, I am often horrified by how not greedy I really am, that's absolutely no way for a Dominant woman to be lol of course, sadly, that just makes it triply tragic when one fails to achieve such a simple thing.

8/2/2013 3:08:17 PM
Today I was primly informed by some gaijin upstart that pet-play where the pet behaves like a pet animal is "dark" and "sick" and that "real" pet Masters conduct their relationships as living normal relationships only where one side is more reliant on the other.... Oh and that the one likes to run around in pseudo animal bits. WTF. How on earth is that a BDSM relationship or a pet relationship? That's just dating a cosplayer. Seriously. Liking to be taken care of does not make you a sub. Liking to wear fake (or real, each to their own) ears and tails and fur bits doesn't get you anywhere close to the BDSM world. Not to mean you cant be sub AND indulge in either. It's simply unrelated. To whit I was also informed that there a heavy dose of Japanese culture built into the "real" BDSM pet relationship.... Yea, because punctuating your sentences with randomly skimmed Japanese terms totally makes you Japanese and up on the culture. God's sake.

7/27/2013 7:07:24 PM
Is it a sign of the times or something to do with the cross dressing sissies that every other one of their pics show pretty much the same pair of panties? Lol

7/21/2013 12:45:59 AM
As the emotional/political/legal dust starts to settle finally, I look around and realize: I've really let this place go! So if anyone's interested to come catch up on 4 months worth of neglected chores around mine, be my guest. Serious local offers only. Leave a phone number you can be texted at.

1/10/2013 9:25:48 PM
Sex, and the power play connected to it, is the one greatest misconception between Dominant women and sub males. You men, you think having sex or performing sexual acts for a woman is giving her power, it is assuring her of her attractiveness and sex appeal, and it is such a glorious task...... But if you just take a moment to THINK, be logical, it doesn't take more than two brain cells to see how that does not make any sense whatsoever. The Dominant woman is confidant in herself, in what she is. She does not need any man to verify and confirm her power, her allure, her sex appeal, and least of all in bed, to be Dominant. When she wants a man sexually, she takes him in whatever manner she desires. That is her right. He is not doing her a favor by "letting" her take him. He is not affirming her sexuality by playing along or by performing any sex acts for her. The Dominant woman does not define herself as a vagina and does not need anyone to approve her status as a vagina. And, lets be honest, most Dominant women really aren't hurting for sex, and honestly do not have much trouble getting satisfactory sex out of normal, non-sub guys. What we want from our slaves and submissives is emotional and "spiritual", for lack of a better word, and practical. So don't ruin it by giving yourself stupid "virile male" airs. I suppose that MAY become relevant and valuable in a world lacking in virile men to procreate with, but seriously, that is not the world we live in right now, today.

1/8/2013 4:37:08 PM
It seems that with every winter I experience in Vancouver, I get lazier with people and more curmudgeon-y. Less concerned with keeping in touch or keeping up, or being "in touch". Less patient, less frustrated when I lose my patience, less willing to hang in and work things out; as if these people aren't worth the trouble working things out with, and that is rather depressing.

9/30/2012 1:51:10 PM

I was meaning to write about a nice luncheon with Violet on Friday, but first, a rant.


Dear boys, if your entire knowledge and experience with massage is to put oil on your hands and paw at a woman's parts, please kindly take "giving massage" off your resume. You know nothing. Your ministrations are good for nothing. You are going to seriously hurt someone one of these days, and by this I mean one day I am going to seriously kick the ass of one of your types that dare come before me announcing they are good at massage. And the next crackpot that dare suggest that I'd like to give him a massage because "(I'm) Asian and Asian women are totally into giving massage" wins a trip to the hospital with a broken appendage. WTF.



9/27/2012 2:06:11 PM

I hear a lot of submissives complaining about Dom/mes who approach them with lines like "Hey slut/whore/slave/pig/dog/etc". So the question is this: how is it our fault that that's the only name you leave us to call you with?


Yea, it's one of those days.

9/23/2012 1:49:33 AM

It is an unusual peeve of mine that I find I am inordinately offended by would-be "slaves" who say things like "oh it didn't work with my last Mistress because she wasn't intelligent enough" or "we didn't gel on an intellectual level" and variations thereof.


Barring the usual tired lecture on choosing one's Masters wisely (for heaven's sake how do you not realise that things like "I had to leave my last Mistress because I didn't feel she was smart enough" make you look bad?) and committing properly once you have chosen and delivered your word, Leadership and Vision are traits that have every equal possibility of existing independent of measures of intelligence, wit, learning or vanilla world "success". The slave serves the Master, who gives it purpose. One does not need to be smarter in order to give the other purpose, it only needs to know one thing: what's best for the slave.


The Master does not need to know or understand how to get to a certain goal, s/he simply needs to know what that goal is. As a slave, one needs to understand that its intellect, as much as any other resources it is born with or acquires, is a valuable commodity to be put towards the Master's needs and goals, not spat upon, trampled and discarded by the slave.


On the converse, intelligence, success and any number of other "virtuous traits" are not the same as Leadership and Vision and must never be mistaken for such either. Just because they are better educated, better employed, better spoken, does not mean they are better equipped as Masters. nor does that make them automatically better Masters.


The goal of the Master is not to awe and crush the slave under his/her superiority. The life of a slave is not to wallow forever in crippling worship of its Master. That's waste of a perfectly good slave, that is.

9/10/2012 11:21:59 PM

So, I caved and started putting the bed together this morning myself. A third of the way in, I got a dogged text from someone who'd arranged with me three days ago to come help, flaking out on me. Oh West Coast *sigh* My horoscope is adamant that the most favourable direction for me is West, yet I am constantly faced with evidence that I might enjoy the ambience better on the East Coast.


9/8/2012 2:03:52 PM

Power is subjective. Each person view it slightly differently, and so often we forget this.


Take for example, "providing for". The same thing, depending on those approaching it, runs the entire gamut from "an act of extreme slavery" to "an act of ultimate Dominance". There are slaves/subs who consider providing for their Masters to be a matter of course, or a privilege, and slave/subs who consider it a matter of course that their Masters provide for them--- similarly there are Masters who believe having their slaves/subs provide for them is Power and others who feel that relying on their slaves/subs to provide for them is weakness.


There is a man in my acquaintanceship, a masochist, who feels powerful when tortured. (He calls himself a submissive, when I suppose the better community term is bottom, yet to my eyes, despite his masochism, his personality and approach is unmistakably the bratty Dom.)


There is the Domme who derives a sense of power through doing tough things herself, yet none from relinquishing the menial tasks to her slaves/subs.


There is the slave who feel powerless being kept in a closet like a mere tool for use at the discretion of his Master, and the sub that feels empowered by the same arrangement.


The Dom who feels powerful when he champions his slave/sub, and the slave/sub that feels powerful when being championed; then, of course, the vice-versa.


Power is subjective.


It is a variable dependant entirely on the values of the person experiencing it.


What makes you feel powerful?

9/6/2012 5:14:39 PM

Off to Ikea to purchase a new bed, hmmm......



Now I just need someone to put it together for me when it arrives.

It is a point of pride for me to be able to wave my hand around the room and say "I put everything in here together myself", but there comes a time when one's got to admit that their health simply isn't like it used to be and learn to ration their strength. sigh.

8/14/2012 5:01:55 PM

You might as well know that I have been house-hunting for a long time for an ideal habitat, but it is only recently that any sort of likely choices have surfaced. Therefore it is with uncharacteristic optimism in a number of factors based both in the "mundy" and in the faith and honesty of people that I expect to be overhauling this profile soon.



5/4/2012 11:02:58 PM

Is it really that insurmountable a thing to meet someone you might be interested in starting something (anything: relation/friendship, business idea, starting a group, anything) with at starbucks for coffee? after you've run out of burning need-to-know-before-we-meet questions?

Some days it seems the average mental age of North American/Canadian West Coast denizens is at least 8 below the national average.

4/8/2012 4:02:38 PM

I am, emotionally, a miser.

I do not share joys or positivity, I hoard them to myself. It is mine, and anyway, you may not understand. So, rather than sharing and devaluing it, rather than releasing it into the aether, I hoard it. Close to heart and mind. Unexpressed. Unburdened and unsullied by words and interpretation.

I do not expect you so much to forgive me as to simply indulge.

3/10/2012 10:46:30 PM

Dear Possibly Interested Looking For A Domme...

I cannot speak for the Doms being as I lack the appropriate parts and biochemistry, however I feel that I am safely in the realm of speaking for all Dommes when I say 

"if She has a long profile and/or public journal entries, She intends for you to read it before asking her to cam......"

3/6/2012 12:25:00 AM

I am just about pleasantly lulled and vindictively amused at this moment to address that incredible taboo of this lifestyle, Money-- and how it is viewed and valued in association with Me.

I am not a ProDomme. I am far too wilful and lazy for that line of work, truth be told, and am eternally in awe of the great patience and dedication the true Pros put into their businesses.

I am not a FinDomme. I do not get off on piles of "cold hard cash" or the number of zeroes in my bank balance... though I cannot in all honesty say that I do not delight in watching men drive themselves to financial ruination over a woman, it is a strong emotional fulfilment, better than sex, though not orgasmic. (A person who believes an orgasm to be the utmost enjoyment in life clearly has not lived). Rest assured, however, that level of venom and contempt is reserved for a very select kind of scum that I am fortunate enough not to have in my life.

It is true that I bear a certain high regard for money, but only as a universal resource. It is necessary, but hardly of any importance in itself. There is only value in stockpiling it if there is a goal in doing so. The true and only value of it is in its transaction, the way and purpose for which it is spent.

I have a polarised relationship with shopping. I love finding something I like and being able to bring it home and call it mine. I hate spending time looking and not finding anything I like, or worse, finding something I like and not being able to take it home with me then and there, for whatever reason.

I get nothing from simply receiving something. What grips me is the heart in the gift. It's nice to get nice things, I suppose, but it is much more important to me that what you bring me shows that you'd taken the time to really think about what I might like, what might suit me, and what might please me. I do not derive as much pleasure from the object you bring me as the spirit in which it was procured. For that reason, I do not like wishlist gifting.

I like to watch your body language as you bring me the thing. Your demeanour, your trepidation, the tension and tremble as you present it, your response to how I receive it, as you wait for me to decide if it was a worthy gift, if you'd been right about it suiting and pleasing me... THAT is what I want, more than receiving a thing.

Yes, of course there are things I want definitively, that you would not have to guess wildly about, but I want to be there as you satisfy my lust for those material things, savour your excitement and the adoration in your actions as you enable me. There is a connection, then, that is lacking when you merely click on a button on some remote site to get some automaton to send some mysterious unsolicited package to my door. That is what I desire, more than being spent on. (It is not the dollar amount that matters, it is your actions, your response!)

Which is why I am unmoved by the size of your wallet. Which is why I am disgusted by those who complain about having to spend on another person (complaints on inadequate pricing not withstanding), and those who make a show of it. The only thing it shows is a stinginess of spirit.

Which is why I am usually better impressed by a careful hand-made card than an expensive thoughtless trinket; which is why I was much more charmed, this past month, by a bottle of detergent than a flashy platinum card.


2/20/2012 12:46:41 PM

I grew up in a true multicultural community, where people did not regard others of different ethnicity and cultures as "interesting" or special in any way, just other people. But the pendulum swings both ways, and the flip side of the high integration is what here in the west is often cited as Racism. Erroneously, in my opinion.

High integration leads to higher and more intimate understanding of what would otherwise be an alien people, and elements of their core culture, ethnic beliefs, and generic behavioural profile. Racism discriminates against people based indiscriminately on their genetic race. We have not a word for discriminating against people for their ethnic/cultural behaviours. Besides, it can't be discrimination if it's true, can it.

2/16/2012 11:00:02 AM

It was love at first sight for me with the new WoWC Golden Dragon Vanity Mount... except it means I shall have to reactivate my account (if I can find the password) and play again (oh the drudgery!)

MisA suggested opening myself up to warcrack slaves in jest. It may not be quite such a bad idea... hm...

2/8/2012 7:13:29 PM

I'm in a crap mood and it looks lie it will last all week/weekend. SO, here's the deal. propose a distraction, a "date" for lack of a better word, something civilised and classy to lift and rejuvenate my spirits this weekend. The one with the best suggestion gets to put it in action.

2/6/2012 3:16:47 PM

One of those days when you don't want to do anything but need to have a bunch of things done...... meh.

In other rants, dear men and pigs. It doesn't matter how many cock shots you shove in my face. It isn't going to magically make me fall to my knees as your nubile little sex slave. That shady magician at the fair that sold you that ointment to make your penis do just that? He lied.

1/31/2012 8:49:33 PM

I get to wondering from time to time what genuine response rates those "Goddess seeking new pay piggies and losers" actually net. Which of course leads to contemplations of setting up just such an experiment. What better way of finding out?

The real challenge would be keeping on a straight face.

1/30/2012 5:38:46 PM

A new year, a difficult and trying one, those who read these things say, one in which it would serve me best to hanker down and lie low--as one would against the back of a wild galloping horse or soaring dragon--and with patience and open heart and mind, let it carry me where it may.

11/20/2011 12:40:21 AM

Being mistaken for a completely different Domme on CM: I wonder how often this happens to Dommes on CM...?

11/14/2011 12:42:47 PM

It's a remnant of my vicious youth that when I hear supposed slaves trying to cling on to their wallets or heterosexuality I take it as a personal challenge to beat them over the head with it, hah... itjust doesn't make sense. Either be prepared to give it up at the discretion of your Owner or admit you're not a real slave to begin with.

11/3/2011 8:22:00 PM

Is it me or them?

Tuesday, the Hungarian pup turned up for his make-up session. First I set him to scrubbing the bathroom floor for the first time, which took him two hours and 5 or 6 inspections... I have no idea why? I'm able to do it myself to the standard I was setting him in 20minutes. It aggravated me to the point of breaking out the leather flogger. Nothing extreme, 10 strokes to his rump in all. Then we had lunch, him from the floor, of course, and me with my feet on his back, followed by foot worship, and just as I was starting to feel more forgiving towards him, he asks to leave on account of a prior engagement (to a past activity that I was disapproving towards but willing to let lay) and that he thought he would just be here for "a couple of hours". He's had 4 days to inform me of his schedule. I have never kept him for less than 4 hours. I was furious, marched him to the door and told him to get dressed and go, but when my back was turned getting a drink, he undressed again and begged to be allowed to stay, over and over while I continued to throw him out, which only disgusted me further. If you had wanted to stay you would never have mentioned wanting to leave to begin with.

10/31/2011 12:07:13 AM

Out with the negativity, Samhain is upon us!

The Hungarian pup is coming again on Tuesday to set the "Spring cleaning" in motion, but also to be disciplined for the slipshod job the last time and missing his shift on Friday. He has been warned that I like my word followed to the letter. So when I say "a floor clean enough to eat off of"......

Promises of visitation looms in November. As always, I will believe their intentions when they are before me and not before. I wonder who would actually show?

And a question thrown out to any who are passing though this journal: Why is it boys balk at writing assignments? I'm owed 4 as we speak (2 kink/maybe/hell-no lists, 1 on the nature of D/s, 1 formal apology), and being somewhat skeptical about ever hearing from these hopefuls again. What's so hard you can't put in written word but seem to think you can skate on by in conversation?

10/29/2011 10:40:52 AM

Remember my "Alpha Pleasure slave" corresponder who serves only the "Alpha Woman of the Tribe" who, in her turn as Alpha Woman has no use for any kind of slave except Pleasure slaves?

He was back in my mailbox this morning after I refused to dignify a response to his last missive (which insulted both my gender and intelligence with wildly chauvinistic manners) again presenting the points that I am "very young" and "male".

Does he not realise that only gives away how starved for Dominant attention he is? (And how vanilla? Young males are in themselves a desirable commodity in these circles!)

10/28/2011 6:56:24 PM

Oh boys, boys, boys, you funny little boys... you call me beautiful right off the bat without a glimpse of me and when the chokehold looms, when you are unhappy with me for whatever reason, you demand to know if I'm hiding because I'm fat... or male. Look around? How many BBW Dommes hide their size? Gay male Doms get a much better grade of applicants (and prettier TS) than I, the little Asian Domme. I will confess to have thought seriously about posing as them, only I know it would only be a huge disappointment for you when we meet to find I am neither anatomically male nor large.

10/27/2011 3:01:54 PM

My cat's sick. Took him to the vet, waiting for test results. Someone come clean his bile out of the carpets and cheer me up! :(((

The notion of getting a tribute sub flitted through my mind when the vet presented her bill for the examination. That can't be healthy either :/

Also, much more interestingly, I appear to be a "zombie", in possession of an account name that was previously created, used, then deleted... not sure what to do about that? lol

10/27/2011 2:10:39 AM

seems kylesoss is a complete waste of my time...

10/25/2011 4:13:04 PM

Dear boys, how much more clear must I get? I am recruiting slaves, not lovers. I do not have any romantic interest in slaves. You are simply not worthy of that kind of affection, because you are slaves. And in case you didn't understand what "married" means, it means there is a man whose ring I wear when I want to wear a ring, fuck when I'm horny, go to sleep in the same bed with every night, and whose silly manlish whims I indulge beyond reason. That is not you. And if ever I am to take a lover on the side, that will also not be you. Reflect on the full humiliation of the kind of existence you will have with me before approaching and wasting my time. That is all.

Also, if you're only getting back to me with the information I needed to start your scene with an hour after the scene was meant to start, please kindly take to presume that I have cancelled your scene an hour and ten minutes ago and gone off to do something else. Thank you.

10/25/2011 12:35:05 PM

Should a Mistress chase up potential slaves when they fail to respond? My vanilla instinct is to let it go, consider it their loss and a sign of their weakness, too childish for me as their Better to chase down and mock. My Mistress side wants to know if they expect me to run them over and interrogate them with a bullwhip lol

In other news in my on-going adventures in sub/slave-fails, I was informed by a prospective whom I'd politely turned down in the email stages for really being nothing more than a sexual do-me slave (yay, rears the head of a beast that combines my two "favourite" s types)that

"Wanna be Mistress; I recently moved here from L.A. ,where I manage a multi-national corporation. Raised in NYC. Princess, in comparison, you know nothing about the industry. I am the real deal, and I am betting you are a guy !! Your choice of words and your young age don't match up. Good luck in your world of "internet domination "..... Later little boy !!"

... my D/s lifestyle is an Industry now? (No, I never mentioned money, although I did suggest that I could work with him if he would consent to being broken in... but apparently that's the mistake made by second-rate Mistresses who want general slaves because they don't know what they want. Also, apparently, there are only Pleasure slaves and the much inferior General slaves, nothing in between.) Also insulting is that apparently a woman of my age can't possibly be in possession of sophisticated non-valleygirl language whereas a boy of my age can... but the most baffling part that keeps coming up more than these wild accusations over my gender is people balking at me for "internet dominating" them... when my policy is RT only, and pretty much ask to see a prospective as soon as it seems they won't run away screaming heresy from me... oh, wait, how did I forget? Chauvinists believe any attempt to think differently from them and not go with their plans is Domination. Right.

He apparently is "highly trained and well acclaimed" and a sub of the finest kind that "submits only to the Alpha Woman of the tribe" (whom he hopes to find through Craigslist on an ad that says he'll train the right candidate). Now, I've recently been blessed by a peek at the Alpha Woman of our "tribe" (the lifestyle D/s world) and she is magnificent indeed. But I cannot see what personal use she could have of such a creature and I rather suspect she'd burn off his testicles and throw him out on his ear for the fun of it......

I firmly believe a Domme is weighed on her own Mistressy merits and how she wields her slaves, not the quality of her slaves per say. Thoughts?

10/23/2011 4:36:02 PM

I quote this verbatim from an email I received about an hour ago: "Normally my impression of goddess is being selfish and and cater to her own needs rather than making me a better person or wat not..Those emotions jus disturbed the whole idea of being a slave and a pet" which I suppose stems from my requirement that slaves be able to support themselves financially (get a job) and act with dignity and responsibility towards themselves so as not to bring me shame... where does it say a Mistress cannot try to be, in Her own way, a good person? lol


10/22/2011 4:02:08 PM

... paint it whichever way you wish, a male "slave" with no other purpose or pursuit besides the "sexual pleasure" of his Mistress is no slave at all, but a misogynist egotist who prefers to blame Woman for his sexual indiscretions and wishes to be considered so sexually irresistible that no Woman would pass up the chance to chain him to their bedroom and fuck him any which way to Sunday. The most despicable kind of slave there is, just a low step below those who submit on Sundays to prove they are "man enough to do it".

10/22/2011 12:09:02 PM

2 minutes before I give up on Bingo10 showing up and go in search of brunch myself...

10/20/2011 7:31:43 PM

A brief, laidback afternoon Service with a Hungarian puppy. He is good-natured and well-mannered, but infused with deplorable little bachelor habits. I've discovered to my displeasure that I need to do some of his tasks over and clean his cleaning tools. Tsk!

10/18/2011 11:04:22 AM

My cat has been of a nervous deposition and constantly throwing up. Lately I have been given to contemplating my genetic roots and its influences on my temperament. Perhaps in time, it may be prudent to relocate back in an Easterly direction... or continue Westwards, the difference is geographically negligible.

Also, the low wave of annoyance at "people" without the common decency to let you know not to expect replies from them again.

10/14/2011 7:40:04 PM

submann didn't show up for his meet/play. Admittedly the play scenario we'd planned was a plunge in the deep end, but I did express my sane-self's assurance that he did not have to go through with it if it turned out to be much too hard. After all, it's only the "first date". Shame.

10/13/2011 10:27:34 AM

Getting back on my feet from the sneezing/coughing/etc, one hopes...

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