The last days where pretty intense. Intense because what happened with me and how I come near my true self.
I was allowed to spend my last two nights bound. The second permission came from Skadi directly and created a small rush in my body. Yes, I do like to be restricted and it is a mix of very different feelings. I enjoy the fact that I am restricted in my movement, I do feel pretty when I see the cuffs, chains and looks on my body, yes I can't sleep very well but it creates also a wonderful feeling in me. And much more.
I also experienced sensory deprivation a bit more and it is unbelievable what the sensory deprivation combined with the lack of sleep makes with me. It brought some things to the surface and I never felt so open.
At first I didn't understood what there was coming up or at least part wise. It would take to much time to explain my second night but I felt very overfilled in the morning. Overfilled with emotions, pictures, lack of understanding, to less sleep and a very open mind. ... A second round of sensory deprivation brought some answers. But I wasn't in the same mind sate like 1 to 2 hours earlier. I ate something and drank also an espresso. This changed my mind state and made me less open and somehow also less vulnerable.
So what is the learning? It was deep, it need training, it needs time, it is a part of my development, I can be open about it and accept that it is right to feel normal about all of it. ... Yes, I could be more detailed but not right now.