This process all seems too contrived. I really want natural and spontaneous.

A few thoughts...

In my mind a roomful of equipment is not necessary for great sex. Maybe it's got something to do with how many toys one had as a child. On the one hand it could be convenient to have shackles or whatever available when you're at home but on the other hand, creatively using whatever is in your environment is a lot of fun. I prefer the zen approach.

I do not believe that I am missing anything from who I am so therefore nobody 'completes' me. I prefer that somebody enriches my experience and I theirs.

I do not buy into the idea that D/s or M/s is somehow superior to a conventional relationship in general. Maybe for some it is superior but that doesn't extrapolate to the entire population.

I've lived and worked in many different places during my life. I travel light and have built some flexibility into my life so that I am free to go where I please. I like living where I am presently but I'm open to consider moving for the right person ... after establishing a good foundation and relationship of course ... and that takes time.