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Read this aloud to yourself. "One stands against a stronghold of misery. Many stand together in a common world of understanding and intention, of perseverance and dedication. To hold a Truth is to be near to Hell, for there will be no surviving it. To spy a Truth on a distant horizon is to be enclosed in Heaven, should I seek it. Brilliance blinds and pushes away the spirit from it's source. Darkness binds with curiosity and fear. Between these two is a realm of deep quiet, a place where rest is found for the wicked and weak alike." There is no security. A promise made is a lie. We are all held, like the breath of the Deep, longing to change places with the other elements, always choosing flux over peace. Peace is a remnant of broken promises, abandoned dreams, and unanswered calling. From this we will design a world where freedom does, at last, reign. Each and every being on this shattered path asks the question, whom shall lead the fallen, the falling, and the folly? Who would be so absurd as to stand up and be accounted for in a world where there is little to no respect for Power, since power has shit it's pants like a child and left us with no light in the darkness? Only a Great Fool. This must be you, for it is I. I am not brave, though I have been called so by those who crave the true courage to maintain existence despite the wrath of time and the illusions which grip our souls like lions with broken teeth. We will not be dissuaded. We will not perish. We will not cower before the face of misunderstanding and empty rage against nothing. We will feed the creature which is our Passion to know the limits of the self, and if we find nothing we will create substance where we stand because this is what we are made of. We are SOLID. This realm is put together with weakness and fear. So we will reveal to it our understanding of such things and befriend it, justly. There is no other way. It must be compassion which drives our intense courage. I am no one. I am nothing. We share this truth. We are but minor ships adrift upon a range of ideas and seeming realities. At one time I believed otherwise, but remained somehow open enough to keep listening for a greater truth. I knew I would find what I was looking for. Slowly, it dawned on me that I may not like what I found. This has indeed been the case. So I have decided to press on, challenged by the very idea of true failure, the kind one acheives when one gives up on themselves and the world they seem to have been born into. I have nothing left but to push. The origin of this strength I have brushed against, and was scraped cleaner as the blood of my heart flowed into the darkness I found enveloping me. There was a hunger quenched there, for a sacred span of time I cannot describe. This was not a game anymore. This was what I had been seeking. It was great enough to hold the Love I feel when I consider my fate. It seemed to express profound gratitude. Will I leave a legacy of Shame or Glory? I care not. I care that I am of service to something greater than myself, something which has the means to change the world I live in, and perhaps your world as well. For better or worse, I persevere. You are not ready, willing, or able to do what I have done. Neither was I.
2/21/2013 3:58:01 PM

SWITCH?

 

Yup. The identity becomes me. How can one be whole when tilted ridiculously to one side or the other? It's like trying to walk on one leg. Hop, hop, hop.

 

So, I decided it was more realistic to make the statement "switch". After all, I am both masochist and sadist. I crave the misery of continued existence, and am too bold and surly to give up. Sensation intrigues me, whether mine or yours.

 

Plus, it allows me to do away with all that annoying capitalization of the word "Me".

 

 

I'm sure my perspective will offend many, at least, I am hoping it does. I am actually ready to embrace the fact that as much as I love love, I also must honestly admit I am often filled with rage and hatred, like those I claim to disdain.

 

The only difference is in how I cope with it.

 

For example, pain. I have pain right now. I think it has a sacred source and I'm embracing it. I have pain in my emotional life as I look at the apathy in the world, the scoff of politics and the lies in the media. But how will pitching a verbal fit help?

 

It wont.

 

On the other hand, I enjoy inflicting and observing suffering. I see the impact I have in certain areas within my scope of awareness and I feel the piercing spite in the faces of those who cannot have what they want: ME.

 

I cope with it in a benighn fashion. It is internalized and roasted over the flame of self-assesment and the willingness to discover and admit my own hypocricy.

 

There is an explicitness to the way I conduct myself. I pander to the petty needs of certain people, knowing that we all need someone to freak out upon as we scream the desperate scream of the trapped and disposable. I listen attentively to fools aching for meaning, especially meaning from their own sour mouth. Who will hear their cries if not for a bold masochist who genuinely seeks to soothe the horror of uncontrolled frustration, merely for the private honor of knowing they have done a strong and difficult deed?

 

Also, I turn this viciousness upon my sweet beloved associates, and crack the insolent whip of insistance and threat, disregarding the cries emerging from the fear of solitude that drive one to suffer so for the company of another. I peer relentlessly into the eyes of weakness, wherever they reveal themselves, inviting the atrocity of a love lost and torn, but for the sake of truth. I would rather show respect for an act of bravery, even if it is done in ignorance of potential satisfaction, had it been done differently.

 

There is a beauty in strength exercised thus. While I may represent an ideal in physical form, I also represent the failure of the ages, and I am happy to admit it. While there is disparity amongst the fit and unfit specimens of this sordid community, I will ache and reach for the ones who make the bread of life satisfying to the tooth-- the insecure, the wasted, the weak, broken, and yet defiant masses that are the community of collarme.com. Some may call me delicious names like... well, I will leave that to your own creativity. But for those who feel the sting of truth sharper than a hot iron, a snapping whiplash, and the first delicate piercing of a virgin anus with a frozen banana (my favorite), we are a community of harmony and wit, hopefully of enduring humor.

 

Let us not take ourselves too seriously. After all, this is supposed to be fun.

 
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Pavithra
 
EmmaL
 Age: 33
  Pennsylvania