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i'm 100% sure that when i die, i'm going to be reincarnated in the 40th century as Barbarella writhing in the Excessive Machine.
i like listening and dancing to music (all types, my interests
include literally one of everything from Johnny Cash to David Guetta,
the Fugees, Verdi, Beethoven, Tiesto, Prince, Aretha Franklin, Jay-Z,
Marvin Gaye and more), working out, healthy eating, writing, poetry, and
journalism. Professionally i write grant proposals, do public relations
and marketing, am a music journalist, and an aspiring personal trainer.
i do a lot, and do it well, and am the person in control of solidly
100% of my professional life. By the end of 2011 my goal is to be
self-employed and very successful, and i'm always motivated to make that
happen.
In having all of that control, there's obviously a need for
counterbalance. Beneath the surface, i like the feeling of giving in and
being molded by a force stronger than i am. i like giving in to my
desires and turning on my emotion. i like to live at the whim of my
endorphins, ans let them take me wherever they lead.
Deep down inside the boy there's a slut that wants to play. There's a
lot more there too. Again, I want to be held, I want to be led, I want
to be told that everything's okay. i live in fear of my libido taking
over my life, and i want it to be harnessed. i want to be hurt, but only
to make me stronger. i want to cry, but only to make me better. i want
to need to want someone, just so i can feel whole. i was made to serve,
and want to be of service. When i am controlled, i can be beautiful.
That's all i want to be. Inside and outiside, a reflection of the
glorious nature of what living your dreams can provide.
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