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As the name says, I will be your ex friend. The trajectory of our relationship, if I can be grandiose enough to call it that, will be something like this.
Being a woman, you will come armed with a shopping list of requirements for your fantasy mate. Every conceivable aspect of this man will be covered except for his soul and values: cock size, income level, zip code, favorite color, etc. I used to think that women after a certain age- say 35 max- wake up and say "hey this list thing isn't working out: I'm always winding up with bigamists who have syphilis." Tragically, this is not the case: hope springs eternal after all.
Anyways, despite the aforementioned, you and I will bond easily: I have a way of getting past barriers with ease which is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because it helps me get to know people who otherwise wouldn't give me the time of day and a curse because many of these people tend to put me in a box: "hey you're sweet, loving, kind, intuitive, etc etc, don't ever change NO MATTER HOW I TREAT YOU."- and THAT is where you and I will swiftly become ex-friends. Allow me to explain.
When a woman comes across me, 9 times out of 10 she adores me. I say this without a shred of ego. I'm not a 6 foot tall adonis but I do have some charm and sincerity and a non threatening way. Hell many times, I will ask for permission before a first kiss. Many men have asked for my "secret" of sorts- hell I could probably write a book and go on tour- but I don't actually have one. Since high school women who by all rights should be beyond my reach adored me. Which is nice.
The problem is that many people are not interested in relationships, they are interested in
slaking their thirsts: for sex, money, attention, affection, etc etc. They seek outlets: for their vanity, rage, coldness, insecurity etc. So when coming across someone like me, which I assure you will be a rare experience for you (and likely one you don't deserve), you will, instead of appreciating my humanness, will immediately feel threatened: you want to rage, but feel bad doing so and thus will immediately take a dislike to me. One woman said that she felt like she had to walk on pins and needles around me. I can sympathize. Being somehow better than most men in your life, I will implicitly challenge you to be better as well. It is a challenge most women do not care for and as such we will soon be ex friends as you seek a more palatable conduit for your id and one that will ease your conscience.
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