I'm a firm believer in the notion that every bit of this begins in the depths of an intelligent mind.
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I've experimented with submission. Online recently, and some real-life experience many years ago. I remain something of a blank slate - I've completed my kinks list as curiosities rather than absolutes - but there are some things I'm pretty clear on.
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I won't ever be a serious masochist at any level.? I can imagine that there *may* be some scope for me to take pain for your pleasure, but only with a very, very significant desperate-to-please connection I equate pain far more with genuine discipline and punishment (and there's possibly a place for that); if physical sadism's a big thing for you, we wouldn't be a good match.
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I'm very curvy - size 18/20 - and pretty out of shape. I'd far rather be with someone who enjoys curves than someone who tolerates them reluctantly, but I'd be interested in fitness somehow finding its place as part of submission.
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My ideal would be someone who could nurture and awaken something new in me.? Something around very precise sexualised training focused on your pleasure. Learning to dress and behave to your exact requirements. To be a good girl. To obey.
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My biggest kink is around orgasm control and extended denial. I've no idea why but desperation, anticipation and sexual humiliation (and being told 'no') make me absolutely blissful.
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I'd also, I think, find some fulfilment in rituals, rules and protocols that contribute in some way to developing my submission.
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Ideally an arrangement rather than a relationship. Something that might have elements of connection and friendship, and definitely with reality and honesty (I don't do anonymity and secrets from each other), but I do seek something unconventional and very unequal. I'm happy to fit around your situation and understand the need for discretion, although my free time is mostly weekends.?
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You will probably be older, definitely trustworthy, hopefully patient but very, very exacting. Almost certainly with status, gravitas and presence at work and elsewhere.
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I'm not suitable for anyone without experience.
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It won't surprise you to learn that I'm used to being in control of myself and the people around me. I've spent some time exploring dominance as well as submission. I'm pretty forthright at this stage about knowing what would be right for me. My ordinary side is very protective of my submissive persona (my submissive side isn't at all feisty or challenging; please don't be concerned about that).
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I know that it's there, not too far from the surface, and what I crave now is someone caring and safe to open up with.
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I'm looking for a new beginning. Someone with the intelligence to take me there and beyond. To explore and experience, and to give my self up to.
