I find all these profiles wanting subs for training interesting.  Do Dom’s get on here thinking all women are new to the lifestyle when they join a site like this?  They go from a totally vanilla world and think, hey, I am going to do something crazy today, despite never having had a fantasy or desire, or want, I am a blank slate and door mat, I am going to join this site and seek someone to train me to fulfill all of their desires since I have absolutely none of my own… Because let me tell you, that is totally what I was thinking the first time I joined this site, totally…  Facepalm.  Do you really think you can train someone to just service your desires?  Are people really that narcissistic?  All humans have desires and I don’t care if a relationship is D/s M/s or whatever, there are still two people in it and they are both wanting something from it… There is no training, there is learning about each other, and growing together, or ending bitterly… 

Male wives, sissification, forced bi, and forced fem (from Fet) This is a long overdue update to a previous post. It felt kind of vague when I first wrote it 6 years ago, but with new insight, I'm going to attempt a bit of clarification. Why am I looking for a male wife? I only experience initial primary sexual attraction to a very narrow subset of people (thanks, demisexuality). It shortens the extremely lengthy process of friendship and emotional compatibility leading to sexual attraction. To me, a male wife is more of a genderfluid, androgynous, or crossdressing AMAB who doesn't rigidly adhere to stereotypical gender roles in real life. Some buzzwords may include metrosexual or femboy. He finds enjoyment and comfort in incorporating stereotypically feminine roles, attitudes, and attire, just as I do on the masculine side of things. He craves the freedom that comes with true gender equality on all fronts. I think I have more in common with heteroflexible, bi, or pan guys (I, too, like men), but I'm definitely not turning away straight guys with a healthy mindset lol Anyway, he's generally also more confident in himself and open-minded in regards to exploring gender identity and sexuality in kink as well. If not, he's actively working on eliminating misogyny, misandry, or elements of toxic masculinity that may be causing him to struggle in his life. There's no sissification, forced feminization, or forced bisexuality. If this is you, contact me :) Why is sissification a hard no for me? Unfortunately, there's an element of misogyny and mockery of women related to sissification. Before you say "not all sissies", please keep in mind that your counterparts are badly misrepresenting you. Personally, sissification gives me old-school minstrel vibes. A select few minstrels put on blackface and made a point to use it positively to honor and represent black people in a way that most white audiences had never experienced. Unfortunately, it was overwhelmingly used by white men to mock with offensive caricatures and harmful stereotypes for the pleasure of themselves and their audience. Think hard about why sissification is so prevalent in a subset of domination that's supposed to be woman-positive. It concerns me because your extremely loud counterparts seek a dominant woman, yet appear to believe that being a woman is somehow inferior. Are they honoring women by honestly representing us, or are they using it as a way to mock us with caricatures of ourselves and harmful stereotypes? Are they using that internalized misogyny to fuel their humiliation kink and to entertain their audience so they can all get off to it? (and before you come after me, I'm both black and a woman - so yes, I can make these comparisons and they are definitely fair) When I see so many people who identify as sissies looking like they just stumbled home after drinking heavily and puking in the bushes at a frat party, it's disheartening. The makeup is clownish and smeared, the outfit is hideous, the wig is terrible and crooked...it's just a mess, and it truly hurts to see ourselves represented this way. It's humiliating to us and to them, and I understand that humiliation may be their kink, but their future dominant may not want to see someone dressed as a caricature of themselves. This is likely why sissification doesn't sit well with the majority of lifestyle dominants, and they may not be able to explain it past a basic "ew, no thanks." Why are forced feminization and forced bisexuality a hard no for me? There's misandry and aspects of toxic masculinity related to forced feminization and forced bisexuality. There's rarely any true "force" involved. Instead, there's a great deal of transferring emotional responsibility to the dominant to avoid feeling guilt for enjoying something they feel societal pressure to dislike because it's not considered "manly." I am completely uninterested in incels, alphas, or whatever ultra-toxic pick-up artist crap is going on out there. 2017 version of this post, titled "Comparison: Male Wife vs. Male Partner in FLR" To me, a male wife is more of a genderfluid or androgynous man who doesn't adhere to masculine stereotypes and has no issue with it. There's no need to feminize him as he's already naturally more feminine in mindset and/or body than society prefers. When in womenswear, he prefers looking as natural as possible and eschews excessively frilly "sissy" wear. He doesn't call himself a sissy, either, as the term has a negative connotation for me of "femininity deserves humiliation and mockery." He's generally also more confident in himself and open-minded in regards to exploring gender identity and sexuality in kink. In summary, if I tell this man he looks beautiful in a dress, he'd accept it as the compliment I intended. If this is you, send me a message. On the other hand, a male partner is more stereotypically masculine and more reticent to explore gender identity and sexuality in kink without being "forced" to, e.g. forced bi, forced feminization, forced sissification. There's a great deal of transferring responsibility to the dominant to avoid feeling guilt for enjoying something they feel societal pressure to dislike because it's not considered "manly." It concerns me because they want a dominant woman, yet they believe being womanly is somehow inferior. In summary, if I tell this man he looks beautiful in a dress, he takes it as an insult or believes that I'm trying to humiliate him - which will either turn him on or repulse him. I'm not interested in this guy.

A fantasy of mine..."My internal world is rich with wicked fantasies, and I know the feeling of a tortured existence when those fantasies and desires are not fulfilled. If you’re looking for a girl who is willing and eager to open herself up to your darkest desires and most erotic dreams, then please read further.  Have you ever had a desire to see an eager, willing thing serve your every whim? Or fantasised about being tied up and chastised, told you’re a naughty boy whilst your mistress tells you just how she ought to punish you? Or perhaps you may have thought about a night out for some discreet public play, toy in you or your partner whilst the other holds the remote? Whatever your fantasy, I’d like to make it a reality.  I derive immense enjoyment from fulfilling another’s needs and desires, thus, their interests become my own. So, if you are yet to take that first step into the delicious world of sex and needing a friendly smile and eager attitude to illuminate the path, have a fantasy that you are dying to explore, or have an interest in exploring various kinks to discern what tickles your tail feather, I’m offering my body and oh-so excited mind to bring those desires to fruition.  So boys and girls, if you feel our interest may align please message me for, what could be, a wild and delicious ride. "

What I want...(I did not write this but it rings true for me).  I want flowers. I want to whip you. I want to stroke your cheek and smile into your eyes. I want respect and awe and understanding and love. I want foot rubs and leg rubs and back rubs and anywhere rubs. I want you to know when to reach out to touch and when to kneel and wait. I want you to want me fiercely, desire me utterly. I want kisses. Little ones, fast ones, fierce ones, thigh-clenching-good kisses. I want you to touch me like you’re trying to memorize the texture and shape of me. I want affection and cuddling. I want you to drop your eyes when I demand and meet my eyes when we talk. I want you to miss me terribly when we’re apart. I want you to know what you mean to me, how I cherish you. I want humor and debate and dialog. I want you to kiss the side of my neck while your hands grip my hips, my back. I want to see you crawl – just for me. I want to look at you in that special way and see you breathe deeply with desire and anticipation of what you know is to come. I want to fuck you, penetrate you, tease you, deny you, please you, torture you. I want.... You.                                                                                              

At Her feet… …a place to kneel in devotion …a place to listen attentively …a place to adore Her mind …a place to worship Her body …a place to understand a lesson …a place to feel home …a place for so much more…

I fantasize about being made to cum over and over, no breaks between. Breaking my brain with so many orgams...Begging for mercy, crying for it to stop, but being ignored. Finally passing out from orgasm overload. Waking up to it not having stopped even while unconscious.24 hours straight of orgasms. Only then released into chastity with toys that are too large locked in my holes, and keys put away for a month

PROFILE UPDATE, JULY 2023:Looking for mentally and emotionally rich connections with intelligent, curious, playful people. Gender and/or location are not important to me, as long as there's chemistry.Online is essential, at least until a lot of trust is established.I'm educated, eloquent, and can write messages in (more than) full sentences. I adore getting to know people. Sharing fantasies, embarking on intimate explorations of our shadowy sides, learning what makes people tick, and pushing buttons.Kink-wise I enjoy the mental aspects over the physical: Power exchange, task-setting, humiliation, devotion, worship, chastity, teasing and denial, hypnosis, intoxication, psychological manipulation, magic and mindgames.Also up for making friends, casual chat, and mentorship. I'm very friendly and up for talking to anybody so feel free to say hi, whoever you might be.

What a maid should bring to Dragao Verde For your first visit, or if you have nowhere to store anything at home, I can probably lend you anything you have not yet acquired on your first visit, though I cannot guarantee it would be a good fit, flattering, comfortable, etc.! From top to bottom; Unless your hair is long enough to be styled in a credibly feminine style, you will want a wig. A long-hair hairpiece can look great, but will be difficult to keep it in good condition if wearing it daily. So I would recommend something that can be more easily maintained. I can offer one as a loan, but it may not be of good quality, the colour that suits you, or in tip-top condition. If all else fails, I will have you wear a snood cap over your hair and/or wig. I have something suitable. If you have pierced ears, small studs or sleeper-type earrings are fine; big dangly hoops are not. Or you can wear clip-on sleepers. If you want your ears (or anywhere else) pierced, I can probably arrange it. If you normally wear spectacles, try to have a pair in a gender-neutral or a feminine style, or wear contact lenses. (Sometimes when you buy a pair of glasses, they will offer an extra pair free, and you could have those in a suitable style.) If you want to show a bust-line, but don't yet have breasts, then you will want silicone breast inserts. No bigger than C cup, ideally. Definitely no bigger than D cup. It is hard to make bigger sizes look realistic. With a bra, and spare, to hold them in place. A chastity device, that you know you can wear for the whole period without pain or problems. My current recommendation for a chastity device is the custom Cherry Keeper. It is made to measure using 3D printing. You can choose the ring-size, cage-style, diameter, length, colour, and even finish.  See recent photos of Jessica's device in my Fet Life photos and read the captions and comments. I recommend an open-cage design, in white, and the minimum size you can get your flaccid penis into, to eliminate any chance of erections or chafing in the best possible finish. An anal plug, again, that you know you can wear for the whole period without pain or problems. Get one and some lube and try it. If too big, get something smaller, if you think you could wear something larger, get a larger one, and so on. A suspender belt and several pairs of black stockings. These are optional, but most girls like to wear them for evening table service. If one or more of your dresses is a pastel colour, not black, bring some in tan or nude. Black court shoes, modest heel, no more than an inch and a half for day wear. A pair of Crocs, or imitations, in a neutral colour, i.e. grey, white, black would be a less expensive alternative, the back stairs are very hard on shoes! Perhaps a second pair for evenings with a ~3 inch heel, but these are optional.  Maid dresses, ideally 2 or 3 to allow for laundry. Plain pastel colour or black, in cotton or polycotton, white collar and cuffs optional. I can loan you one or two dresses in your size, but it is better to have your own. The ideal would be at least two in grey, blue or burgundy or black. But anything similar would be fine. We look for a shared style, but not total regimentation with identical uniforms. There is an informal code on hemlines, above the knee for slave-maids who give sexual service, below the knee for those who don't, bondmaids. So everyone knows where they stand, or kneels. My rule is that the apron should never go below the hemline, but usually be quite close. Several white aprons, full and waist aprons, plain and fancy, ideally 2 plain in each style to allow for laundry. Again, I can loan these, if needed. If you have a fetish French-maid outfits or costume, whether in conventional fabrics, latex, PVC or whatever, bring that too, as you may be able to wear it doing table service at our kinky dinner parties. Makeup kit. Some practice in private beforehand will help. Wash-bag, toothbrush, paste, flannel, etc. (There may be some shampoo and conditioner available for communal use, e.g. left behind by other visitors.) Perhaps a skimpy, shortie nightie. If you have nowhere discreet to leave a uniform, you may store it in a plastic box in our loft until you use it again, though if it is there unopened for more than a couple of years we'll message you and ask if you are coming back. If not, we'll put it into stock.

Something I just wrote to someone on here which I think is a valid statement from me: I mean I'm not on here just for sex. I'm a sapiosexual above anything and to even interest me you have to engage me on a mental level. To expound on that, I'm also here to expose myself to people and concepts of sexuality and expression that are new to me. As I've explored further, by reading, connecting with people and experience I find that I've become a more sex positive person in general. I've been accepting new and bizarre things that perhaps turn me on and celebrating them instead of shaming them away. I am becoming more comfortable as a sexual creature as I follow my curiosity. I am also honing my communication skills. I love the emphasis the BDSM community has on talking about limits and consent and making sure people feel heard and valued. It's a value set we would do well to enact in our everyday vanilla efforts to communicate. These are just some musings I suppose.

The sun shining subtly on a sideof this sin is like a sound in my insidesthat shimmer with silence.Silence that strain to see the stars.And soon this season will shift away,and my sadness will slither southboundwith these strenuous sufferings.I may bask in the sun,but those stars sing my song.Someone may scoff at this small bird,but I dare souls to reveal their sub scrip tions.I might be seized in a straightjacketand my sex deprived, my song stolen,and my stimulation snuffed.But this sum is still greater than most dull lives.This is how a songbird thrives.But lo, this is no ordinary songbird.This is a phoenix, singing its pleasurebehind a mask of silence,and setting aflame her significancein favor for ashes.~ dirtydarling

Minoan culture was nothing if not discerning when it came to training slaves. Whereas most societies historically associated with the trade usually treated slaves as mere goods and chattels, Minoa was very different. Examining Minoan art reveal a repeated them when it came to female slaves, often depicting growth and improvement, education and status in the products of their schools.  The difference came from the skill and application Minoan schools showed in selecting candidates, with each school looking for specific traits within candidates. Schools would frequently trade amongst themselves, exchanging girls discovered through each schools specific sources and resources that, whilst not suitable for the discoverer, could be a prime candidate for another. As far as can be told, such trading was done on the basis of benefiting the wealth and influence of Minoa itself rather than an individual school.  Girls would be evaluated purely on their merits, with every attribute considered, evaluated and set against the specialisations of individual schools. It was not unkown for some, older candidates to become assistants to educators at a given school and even to become educators themselves. A girl trained in a Miinoan school to train others to Minoan standards was much sought after. Nowadays, slavery os often associated with either sex or labor, and whilst those were aspaspects of Minoan doctrine, there were many other beside, and each identified trait need a specific plan to bring it to full fruition. Let's look at grace, for example. Grace is usually defined as elegance or refinement, usually of movement. Those considered graceful move with confidence that comes across as fluid and unforced. Grace can also be defined as a behaviour, such as how someone graceful may treat those lower in social status than themselves. Physical grace was a much coveted attribute within Minoan schools because it could become foundational to other skills, such as dancing or fighting. Grace as a behaviour, likewise, was much in demand because it offered pathways into reading a room, keys to seduction or a skill in mediation.  Once identified, a talent like grace then had to be assessed. Was this kind of grace natural or an affectation?  If a natural, latent talent how malleable was it or was it a focused aspect of the girl? For instance, was her grace in movement scalable, as in was she as graceful in the small movements as the large? If not, could she be trained to be? How far could the girls natural gracefulness be pushed, and when did it break down? Was the girl as confident and comfortable in high footwear as with low? Could she move with the same elegance if she were carrying something? How could tight and restrictive clothing affect her? What about on uncertain ground? If balance was lost, how quickly and completely could the girl regain it? If an affectation, how much control did the girl have over it? How well could she shape her gracefulness to a given situation? Could she read the room, tell what was needed and provide it? Could she draw the eye of a crowd or was she better 1 to 1? Could she moderate her gracefulness so as not to show up those of higher status? Could she move according to a role she had to play, as physically convincing as a courtesan as she was a harlot as she was a prized mistress? Did she compliment those she was beside, able to elevate them with the attention of others and not cast them in shade next to her?  Now consider other talents, natural or learned. Languages, sexual proficiency, diplomacy, seduction, fighting both defensively and offensively, offering comfort and counsel, surrogacy, teacher, wet nurse, inamorata... on and on the list goes and, for century after century, on and on went the Minoan schools and higher and higher went their prestige and status and wealth. Until next time.   Questions?

He lifted the wig from its box with surprising care, brushing his fingers through the soft strands before holding it out. “One more step,” he said. “Trust me.” I hesitated. The clothes had made him feel exposed, but this felt different. More permanent somehow. More real.  With a slow breath, i took the wig and carefully settled it over my head. He stepped closer, gently adjusting a loose strand, tucking it behind my ear before turning me toward the mirror. “There,” he whispered. “Now look.” I barely recognized the person staring back. The familiar features were still there, yet softened, framed in a way he’d only imagined during countless private fantasies. My cheeks flushed. “I look…” “You look like someone who’s finally stopped hiding,” he finished.  For a long moment, I couldn’t speak. I simply stared at my reflection, feeling excitement, vulnerability, and quiet wonder merge into something I never experienced before.

Before you can be taught, you have to know what classes interest you to attend.  But that's not submission, I hear you ignorantly complain. No, but most of you don't understand the difference between being submissive and being A submissive. Most of you try and convince the world you are the latter whereas you are barely the former.  Nosce te ipsum, is the first order of any day. Youre not qualified to know anyone else before you get to know yourself. Life becomes a series of dead-ends and u-turns unless you know where youre heading. Understand this - there is nothing wrong with not knowing, there is nothing wrong with asking and there is glory and purpose is learning. Act accordingly, before that laundry list of expectations and demands that you carry becomes nothing more than a shield against actually experiencing anything. And to those desparing of finding their place and purpose, remember that when you're falling out of the tree, any branch you can grab before hitting the ground is a blessing and should be appreciated. Even if it's not where you want to be, its better than the thud at the end of a drop. There is precious little enough joy in this world these days that any of us should spurn the chance to feel some when the possibility presents itself. Here endeth the lesson.

A note from me, K.  A bit of a look into our recent goings on. This was a big moment for me and I want to savor it. I had to break it up because it is quite a long entry.    M has been behaving really well lately! Behavior modification and control is my primary interest and all the implements of our lifestyle are just ways of helping me achieve that control. We have had the conversation regarding my desire for cuckolding before, many times. I bring it up quite a bit, I just can't get it out of my head. I need this for me. Back in 2019 M accompanied me on a few dates with potential bulls, but I don't think he ever thought it would seriously happen. This is very different from when I saw submissive clients professionally. I never ever had sex, I never ever gave head, I never even gave hand jobs. If my clients were allowed an orgasm, they would bring themselves off. M knew that when I finally allowed him sexual contact that we had taken a serious step. A premature ejaculator, he was and is a horrible lay and has never got better. I honestly didn’t expect him to. I got off on my control of him and absolute obedience, not his penis. And now while we have probably only had PIV sex 8 or 10 times in the last 3 years, I desire it more than ever, just not from my husband.  The pandemic drove us all inside and away from people we didn't know. The dates with potential bulls ended and I think M figured that was it. But, my desire for a bull has continued steadily building this entire time and has come to a tipping point. I decided to re-engage the subject in one very direct conversation with M last weekend. I have also decided to keep him on a more frequent chastity release schedule as positive reinforcement while we move forward in adjusting to our dynamic and while finding a bull for me again, in earnest. This conversation was for me to lay out my intentions in full.  We had scheduled this conversation for last Saturday a week before so that we would both be ready. We spent the morning at a farmers market searching for fresh produce that M would turn into a delicious dinner while I spent the rest of the day getting a massage and reading in our backyard garden. After dinner I suggested we move to the living room where I sat in the chair that I have for years been using for spankings and directed my husband to sit cross-legged on the floor in front of me. His lack of pants showed me his diaper was soaked and I put his pacifier in so he wouldn't be tempted to speak.  While he was sitting in front of me I explained to him first, that I loved him, that he had done nothing wrong, but that we would be renewing our search for a bull. His immediate reaction was to put his hand to his mouth in an effort to remove the pacifier so he could speak. I leaned forward, caught his hand and told him, “let me finish.” I explained to him that I would also be allowing him a more frequent release schedule from chastity, which drew out a smile behind his pacifier gag. I explained that his new permissions came with new expectations and that it was directly related to, as I put it, "returning to vigorously searching for a bull." His smile faded instantly which breaks my heart, but I have made my decision and know it will be best for us both; our lifestyle dynamic has many places left to go, but this is step one in getting there. I explained gently but firmly that he needed to get used to the idea of there being other men in our lives. I told him that I was completely finished treating him with kid gloves around cuckolding, that this was something I needed that he couldn't provide and that he knew that.  "M...we have come so far. I have emasculated you to a point you know that I could never take you seriously as a sexual partner. You know this and you know I need someone else, don't you?" He again lifts his arm to remove his pacifier gag so that he can speak. "Nope. Just nod your head, baby. Nod your head that you know I need this." 

It's so funny when a person contacts you and insist on doing things their way and ignore what you ask for. They were so insistant on "their" way that  I even told them they are probably dominant, they claimed that they were definitely submissive.... NOW, just a few days later; alllll of a sudden you get a message saying that they don't think that we are a match (what I told them in the first few emails   LOL) and block me for some reason. I was nothing but nice to them.  Hate to tell them I get a lot of emails so I had to look at history to even remember who the hell they were so the block doesn't really bother me  lol   was just going to wish them good luck and to stop by and say hello sometime..... yes I'm so evil   LOL and NOW allllll of a sudden they change their profile to Dominant.....LOL   Sounds like someone just wants to jerk off so now we are going to try Dominant since no one seemed to fall for the "I'm a poor pitiful submissive" routine  LOL   These people make me laugh   LOL  

As those who choose to worship Me know, Goddess devotes Her Time, Her Energy, and Her Wisdom to slaves She selaspects.  This is part of Who Goddess is.  Growth for slaves is paramount. This necessarily takes effort.  In October, Goddess has selfishly focused only on Herself.  My Growth.  My Beauty. My Happiness.  My Pleasure.  Think of the absence of Goddess from this platform as simply an extension of locktober.  slaves are denied something even more pleasurable than orgasm.  They are denied Me.   Depsite this, four have shown the depth of their worship.  Praising Me.  sending Me energy.  Worshipping.  Such darlings.  Demon, Kitten, Anastasia, Bunny are seen and valued.  Rewards of worshipping Me even in My absence are tremendous as even non reciprocal worship gives you strength. others, Lexi, Butterfly, Lu, Kira have lives that have taken them on various paths apart from Me.  But still are valued, and are welcome in My Realm when their lives permit. a few have disappointed and could do better. those nervpus about approaching should do so.  I am glorious.  I will uplift you even as you sink into deep emotional and spiritual enslavement to Me.  I always want more souls and more energy. Sometime in November I shall return.  And provide health and joy to those worthy, but especially to those named. kisses, pets  

ALL ABOUT MY CFNM TEA PARTIES  For years women have been sexually ified in magazines, on social media and in daily life. But what happens when the rôles are reversed, what happens when the tables are turned and men are ified by women?  Most alternative events ify women, but there is one particular event that reverses the rôles. This is the Clothed Female, Naked Male party. CFNM by definition gives the power back! Ladies of elegance and sophistication are cordially invited to take the opportunity to mingle with their peers whilst sipping their wine and enjoying the entertainment. Come & join the the AcadaMay CFNM Ladies' Tea Party every month for an afternoon of tea & wine with lashings of decadence. All whilst being served by underlings who will be there solely to serve and cater to our every whim. You will never want to go to a vanilla tea party again! Ladies, this is your chance to be served by men and ify them. CFNM includes activities that are not particularly oriented towards female dominance and superiority, but a modicum of humiliation and punishment to the nude men not behaving according to protocol would be expected, nay, encouraged! Gentlemen, this is your chance to parade yourself in an elegant social setting, to have the opportunity to serve and make yourself compliant to the request of any lady present without demur or backchat. If you wish to have this experience, come and join the ladies for an afternoon of CFNM.  Notes: My parties do not have the express aim of being a dating service, but naturally, long lasting connections are often made. The AcadaMay CFNM Ladies Tea Party is not generally suitable for couples as a fluid dynamic is necessary to achieve the perfect decadent dichotomy. It is also extremely inclusive and an absolutely safe and comfortable environment for single ladies attending on their own who wish to explore alternative scenarios in situation where they will be supported. As such, it is obviously not suitable for hen party like groups of ladies.** All guests (both male and female) at the Tea Party will either need to be known personally by myself or will need to contact me with some brief details about themselves and a face photo so I know who they are. All in the strictest confidence and with the ultimate of discretion ;)  The ACADAMAY - THE ONLY CFNM IN EUROPE.  THE FRIENDLIEST, CLASSIEST, MOST INCLUSIVE KINKY AFTERNOON EVER.  DISCERNING LADIES, RELAX AMONGST YOUR PEERS!  IMPECCABALE GENTLEMEN ONLY MAY APPLY TO SERVE THEIR SUPERIORS  BDSM FRIENDLY, BRING YOUR TOYS  HIGHEST DISCRETION AND PRIVACY GUARANTEED Email: acadamayevents@gmail.com SOME REVIEWS! This Tea Party was a riot💃🏽- so many worthy 🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆! Thank you Mistress May once again for letting us have such a good time. Miss V Thank you for a lovely evening Master May. I was thrilled to win the Christmas entertainment. You and the ladies are as cool as fuckMark N0. 3 Thanks to @Master-May for some brilliant organisation. Female empowerment. Males humbled and made to serve in a variety of ways. For my part I was stripped, plugged, displayed and disciplined by some amazing dommes. Ordered and sometimes f***** to lie face down on the bed, my naked body would be casually groped, stroked and intimately touched by any number of ladies who took the fancy, and plenty did. I was reduced to nothing more than their playtoy - sexually ified, casually degraded, all while they sipped wine and made conversation with each other. A thoroughly humiliating experience and I've never felt more turned on in my entire life. DEE & Miss El Yes a great evening love it so many classy women ??Bum is now very sore ?? Jon  I just wanted to say a massive thank you for such a wonderful event last night! I had an absolutely fantastic time! I've been 3 times now and it's always the highlight of my month. Ms. A

Had my first true taste of BDSM a few days ago.    I am not a person who likes pain, dare I say I avoid it at all costs, but it was My online Mistress “Ms T”, it was her will for it to happen.    The wonderful Ms T had her longest serving sub act out her wishes, as she watched on and directed via Skype text chat   I was flogged with a cat-o’-nine-tails from fully clothed , progressing to completely naked, the deep pressure resonating in my chest felt amazing, as I got more naked and the lashes kept coming I felt searing pain and a wish to stop, my mind refusing to utter the words…    I was here to serve my mistress and I was not going to stop until she gave the order..   As the lashes continued I looked forward to the pause between them, that brief moment when the pain subsided , it was the pains complete opposite, it was not just a pause but peaceful bliss and exquisite relief.   After flogging I was restrained to a bed, my eyes blindfolded and lying on my back completely naked, a sharp Dragon claw with tips like needles prodded and scraped down my skin, manageable I thought , until it reached my genitals, it tugged and pulled at my sensitive flesh, I writhed and tensed in shock as my veins filled with electricity from its action.    My buttocks tender from the flogging prodded and dug at by the claw , my body began to spasm and convulse, I forgot I could say stop at any time , I just knew this was making my Mistress Ms T happy and that was all I wanted.     I wanted to be worthy of being her sub her slave. I wanted to prove to my self I was capable of such.   Ms T’s proxy sucked on my cock as the claws dug and pulled at my flesh, I in no way felt erotic pleasure but here I was with a massive erection the like I’d not had for years.     Ms T enjoys forced Bi encounters and so blindfolded and beaten to my most submissive state, hands bound behind my back I was told to get to my knees and suck..  Her proxy let out the occasional audible mumble of pleasure as Ms T’s gratitude and love for me was re told to me as I still was blindfolded and couldn’t read the chat text .   Left after , kneeling blindfolded, in a state of complete nothingness, I had not thoughts, my mind empty, my body fatigued and occasionally twitching , I felt a peace and tranquillity like nothing I’d ever experienced before in the deepest of meditations or the most soothing of massages.   I think I am beginning to understand…!!!!   I had done it, I had made my Mistress Ms T happy. In a way I didn’t think I could.     Ms T , I may never meet you but I love you for this and for everything you’ve helped me experience..   For all the subs not knowing if Online Mistresses really work in reality,, I tell you now.. Ms T is the only one you need and will be the only one you want. !!! Thank you Ms T   Find her on FetLife MsT2011 or CollarSpace  mst2019

In lieu of the entry directly below, spent the first 2 weeks of February this year, in a Hospital bed dying from kidney failure. Thankfully the doctors caught it before it was beyond complete failure and before the need to discuss transplants became a topic. The issue basically meant my kidneys weren't cleaning my blood properly and my blood was effectively flytipping excess body proteins the kidney didn't transfer to the Bladder and Intestines, into the rest of my body, this was clogging up arteries, clinging onto muscles and organs slowly crippling my bodies ability to function. I went into hospital weighing in at 23 stone, and came out at just under 17 stone. Hell of a weight loss regimine, but I don't recommend it, its a potential killer (pun intended) I am now mostly free to pursue what I would like from this lifestyle, however I am still on the mend in some capacity and cannot perform every task I once used to enjoy to the full capacity and this will reflect on what I will agree to submit to. This problem is mostly physcial stuff like housecleaning, but also things like going out dressed in heels, as I get very dizzy sometimes with headaches when I stand for long periods, This is mostly a blood pressure issue, which I am in discuession with my doctor at solving, but in the meantime I need understanding from would be Dominant's I agree to meet, that these sort of things are not high on my list. I am still seeking a Dominant Male or the Elusive Dominant All Male couple, whethr they're married, friends or whatever isn't important. I see myself mostly as a sex slave who wishes to be put into bondage and used eventually with rough face fuckings and rear end action. I can submit to some pain play but nothing excessive, as a diabetic I just don't heal wounds such as welts and lesions on the skin, they take months to recover from and I am just not that kind of pain slut. If you cannot restrict your sadistic needs to sore skin or keeping your slave in uncomfortable bondage situations or furniture, I am unlikely to be what you seek. Any initial sex dates need to be safe anal sex, we can discuss things like bareback if we become a full time relationship, as I see bareback being between 2 people or more, who are only fucking each other, and theres trust in place that they're not sleeping around with anything with a pulse. Ideally I seek a Master or more with a decent sized cock, I am sorry but if you are under 7 inches, you are just not big enough to arouse my sexual interest and you'll be wasting your time.  If you're UK based and you are ok with my medical issues, at least willing to discuss their impact and accept my limitations on what I can and cannot do, lets chat and see if there is a spark.

Returning to the simple life with my 2nd In recent days I've let myself dream and imagine. Something I dared not do in the past. What wonderful experiences would be paved with carefully laid out bricks to form the perfect path? Each brick a representation of heart felt and true emotional moments of connection and understanding. Each brick carefully examined under my experienced eye as I lovingly place them. Making sure they sit solidly in place to never shift, crack or break under the weight of life's weight. Each meaningful exchange of explorations and discoveries of what I seek found inside the one. Another brick is formed then carefully set in place. The paved path quickly, maybe even too quickly causing one to question its authenticity, leading to my kingdom. My kingdom is where I rule as king and is my domain. It radiates with love, affection and admiration. Its walls are thick and built to protect my residents from any harm or threat an invader my try to assault with. The sun shine thru illuminating life and bringing warmth and comfort to those inside. It's very depths are filled with positive energy for all to absorb. Yet deep within this kingdom also resides a dungeon. It is well equipped with all one would need to break the spirit of another. A place where pain can be pleasure but pleasure also painful. The master of this dungeon is experienced in all forms of infliction. He yields the arsenal of his trade with efficient and deliberate blows. Yet the physical s at his disposal are only superceded by his knowledge of the human psychy. He is like an artist manipulating the canvas before him. Turning it from either a blank or unattractive painting to one that when looked upon will make even the hardest hearted individuals melt and smile at its beauty. Yes the road to this kingdom a complicated one but for the one who seeks eternal belonging it is Eden. If only his dreams of the completed path were true. He looks up to the heavens and is heard to say, "Is this the ONE you have sent to me? Have you taken my rib to form my Eve. If she is, please, let her be all I seek." He returns his gaze and his full attention back to his task at hand filled with hope. Alas, the God's have mocked ones again. His emotions played with like the wireless puppets we are. His eyes distracted on one as the so wittingly sneak the other in behind his back. The unexpected tale of the story taking on a life of its own diverting him from her to another. One who mysteriously was guided to that fateful meet. A message titled, "Ummm....wrong button", mysteriously appearing in his mail. The ball was set in motion like a snowball traveling down a large snow covered embankment, its momentum grew, picking up more snow that clung to it enlarging it! It's mass quickly devouring all in its path as it consumed and grew. Soon too powerful to stop it enveloped all in its surroundings claiming them as its own. As such that mistakenly sent message grew wings and soared. One message led to many which led to hundreds more. Messages soon evolving to phone calls that soon dominated their lives and became the focus of their day. She quizingly and scrutinly joins in with guarded fear of rejection and hurt. For she is not a stranger to the cause but only retreated to protect her heart from more.

My theory is you can't just walk awayIt's all about balance in the spiritual realm You have to choose a sideOnce you choose a side you are trapped like in hunger games but on a higher level on a spiritual level No matter what side you choose the other side's going to come after you The only way out of it is to just go into the dark shield and exist no more but you can't do that either because you'd feel guilty because of all of your loved ones it's all part of the higher level of mental bondage .. Wouldn't this make a great movie And as far as men goes it always starts out great in the beginning but all the stuff they tell you is hardly ever true it's just setting the trap

switzerland is limited. by what? yes we have a healty system, good finances, gorgeous places, multicultural food and here its very clean. but our bdsm comunity is....small, only 2 principal places lausanne on the center switzerland and zurich on the north. most of the kinkster are spreaded around the country not knowing other ways than classified website. rare knows fetlife.. no one know website like this one. if youre lucky and do shibari or even soft bdsm you can find youre partner or even more. but if youre like me with a lot of kinks, more passionate, curious and creative, your unfortunate... you will need to be very pacient or...search outside... then the only way is to find person who can relocate themself, and this type of person are rare. because a lot want your money/scam, others prefer only online, or even you can find fantaisist person searching only to excite themself and when things turn real they stop. thats tiring and difficult to filter all this mess, ive been thinking for a long time but for me switzerland is not a good place for bdsm, theres a lot of countries better like USA, germany, france but only in paris, ive been thinking if asian country have better community too, like china, korea or even japan.   i hope someday i will find someone diversified like me to like a total lifestyle.

And yet another lovely entry on another lovely day...    I never thought that a pretty blue dress could look so good… Watching the sweat bead up on your back, you become a slippery mess that requires extra sturdiness. With the hem of your pretty dress bunched up into my palms, I let the lubed glass piece that is strapped around my body slide into you. Gripping the fabric tighter, securing my stance due to the hold your walls have on my glass, I slip in so slowly I can feel the vibration of the whimpering. Letting one side of your dress fall, my fingers dig into the fold of your hip, guiding the glass in and out as slowly as ticks sound behind us. Every time the clock ticks, another inch finds it way deeper, until I’m buried in your hole. Then every time the clock ticks while the glass has vanished in you, an inch is taken away.  Listening to the pleads of being used, I watch you salivate with fire behind those dark hues. You’re fighting the need to slide back into me, knowing that it will result in a sexless rest of the week. The fight that you are having with yourself is enough distraction you’ve caused yourself. Releasing your skin, my fingers find that sweet spot of your lovely area - freshly hairless. Rubbing you into a slobberfest, the glass slides into you again, quicker this time. The time clicks away, my fingers that hold your oh so pretty dress grip your hair as well, turning your head sideways to watch me fuck you. I see the begging in your eyes, the unvoiced pleads of need for fireworks. Just as I feel you squeeze my piece, damn near in place, my fingers find the front of you again, gently sending you over the edge with kisses down your spine.  I hold you in place against me - stabilizing you until you’ve come down. The murmurs of how well you did for me, letting you squirm and twitch with your happy ending.    But should I keep going? Continuing to please you until you just don’t have it in you to continue?

AcadaMay CFNM Ladies Cocktail Party - Saturday February 121st 19.00-23.00 You may contact me here to reserve your place. Most alternative events objectify women, but there is one particular event that reverses the rôles. This is the Clothed Female, Naked Male party. CFNM by definition gives the power back!  Ladies of elegance and sophistication are cordially invited to take the opportunity to mingle with their peers whilst sipping their cocktails and enjoying the entertainment. Come & join the the AcadaMay CFNM Ladies' Cocktail Party for an evening with lashings of decadence. All whilst being served by underlings who will be there solely to serve and cater to our every whim. You will never want to go to a vanilla party again! Ladies, this is your chance to be served by men and objectify them. CFNM includes activities that are not particularly oriented towards female dominance and superiority, but a modicum of humiliation and punishment to the nude men not behaving according to protocol would be expected, nay, encouraged! Gentlemen, this is your chance to parade yourself in an elegant social setting, to have the opportunity to serve and make yourself compliant to the request of any lady present without demur or backchat. If you wish to have this experience, come and join the ladies for an afternoon of CFNM.

Y España es la mejor ¡España es la mejor! (¡Olé!)   [youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEF4NCIfbR8[/youtube]   Off topic with this but thank you Spain, fair play and well done they were better when things got real. Plus I much rather you than them, justice was finally served.    Still after the revival of the battle of Waterloo we had yesterday this was quite boring. Probably the worst final since the 1990 one between a part of Germany and one of their reserve teams in the South...   As for me I hope our supreme leader will rise again with a brand new regime in the next years    [youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmkJk10vMzA[/youtube]   [youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lv0wm2rAlDU[/youtube]   It was overall fun and quite funny to follow. Hope most of you who followed it enjoyed it as much as I did.

A Mistress Story The Mistress was known for her strict and unyielding command over her submissives. She was a woman of power and dominance, with a reputation for turning the most strong-willed men into obedient slaves.One day, a young man, curious and seeking a new experience, came across Mistresses domain. He was intrigued and decided to submit himself to her, hoping to experience the thrill of complete submission and surrender. Upon entering her dungeon, the submissive was immediately struck by the sensory overload. The sound of whips cracking, the scent of leather and wax, and the sight of Mistress in all her glory, dressed in a full leather outfit and wielding a riding crop."Welcome, my new sub," she said, her voice dripping with confidence and authority. "You have chosen to serve me and obey my commands, no matter how degrading or humiliating they might be. Failure to obey will result in punishment."the submissive nodded, eager to begin his training as Mistress submissive boy. She wasted no time, quickly binding and gagging him, and then blindfolding him for good measure."You will learn to obey my every command, without hesitation," she said, her voice low and menacing. "You will be used and abused, trained to be my perfect slave."Over the next few weeks, the submissive experienced a range of sensations and emotions, from the pain of being whipped and spanked, to the pleasure of being teased and edged. He was tied up in different positions, hogtied, chairtied, and even hung from the ceiling, his feet barely touching the ground.Despite the pain he endured,the submissive found himself craving more. He loved the feeling of powerlessness, of being completely at Mistresses mercy. He reveled in these humiliation, the degradation, the denial of his own desires.And when Mistress finally allowed him to climax, it was more intense than anything he had ever experienced. He screamed into his gag, his whole body shaking with pleasure."Good boy," Mistress said, her voice filled with satisfaction. "You are learning to serve me well."In the end, submissive discovered a side of himself he never knew existed. He learned to embrace his submission, to love the feeling of being used and abused, and to find pleasure in the pain. And he owed it all to Mistress his strict and unyielding mistress, who showed him a whole new world of pleasure and pain.

I met someone recently who was so different than any experience here to date. I felt seen. It's truly a scary thing, when you hide between what you put to paper and what you keep to yourself. You don't really think anyone will notice, but you sort of hope someone does, but maybe from a safe distance. He noticed. He read everything I ever wrote here, told me his thoughts and speculations, shared some of his writing. He got goofy with me. It was just about the best everything someone could do in my book. He shared vulnerabilities with me, too. I felt valued. I felt comfortable. It made me want to be brave, at least a little. But things can change quickly. I don't know if he took it for more than it was or if something else happened, but he's gone. Maybe I said the wrong thing. Maybe he was moody. Whatever it was, we were not in sync that day. Part of me feels like one not-so-great conversation shouldn't outweigh the rest, especially in the beginning. The other part remembers that what is meant to be will always find me. He was pretty wonderful. Maybe he will find me again, and maybe we will hold patience for each other enough to find out. Maybe someone else is waiting around the proverbial corner. There is never a shortage of men. But good men, those are harder to come by. I needed some time after the liar. I think I'm ready again. 

Wow. Looks like this is my first journal entry in almost 9 years. Guess life got busy in that amount of time. The world has changed since then on many levels.  I will save many of you some time. I've read everything I've written on my profile and journal so far. It is all more true re my opinions today as it ever was.  Also, I am what many consider to be an open-minded, arch liberal. How could I not be?  In order to be unapologetically who I am in this lifestyle, a free thinking approach is needed. So it follows that if you are set in your ways, hate the current president, detest liberals, have maga swag, and own any let's go Brandon paraphernalia, save us both some time and move on to the next profile. There are plenty of women who feel like you do. No need to feel I can, or should be, convinced. Could I have convinced you to vote for any democrat much less Hillary Clinton? I didn't think so. I don't want to spend time on this site having political discussions  And since Im looking for serious play partners, I felt it best to leave this note here   Its better this way. More politically conservative males can click to the next profile and I won't have to read so many message. LOL I wish each of you the best. Happy hunting! Roxanna

I don't like them innocent I don't want no face fresh Want them wearing leather Begging, let me be your taste test I like the sad eyes, bad guys Mouth full of white lies Kiss me in the corridor But quick to tell me goodbye You say that you're no good for me 'Cause I'm always tugging at your sleeve And I swear I hate you when you leave I like it anyway My ghost Where'd you go? I can't find you in the body sleeping next to me My ghost Where'd you go? What happened to the soul you used to be? You're a Rolling Stone boy Never sleep alone boy Got a million numbers And they're filling up your phone, boy I'm off the deep end, sleeping All night through the weekend Saying that I love him but I know I'm gonna leave him You say that you're no good for me 'Cause I'm always tugging at your sleeve And I swear I hate you when you leave I like it anyway My ghost Where'd you go? I can't find you in the body sleeping next to me My ghost Where'd you go? What happened to the soul that you used to be I'm searching for something that I can't reach My ghost Where'd you go? I can't find you in the body sleeping next to me My ghost Where'd you go? What happened to the soul that you used to be Ghost by Halsey (it's a song)

My outlook on D/ s is a process the first choice is your choice to be sub and mine is Dom.  We agree to a form of power change and define what our power exchange will cover. Then first and this is what mater what are the strengths of the sub, attributes like in your case humor. Plus as many as we can define together.  Same for weakness. Must improve. What is off limits. This can take time but worth it. As we discuss in depth we both learn our foundation is the sub .  What is good we encourage growth . Bad we take steps to modify the goals a road map to achieve. It is now the Doms role to fit his own strengths into reaching the subs plan to make them shine and excel.  . The kink, discipline, rules and reward system a Dom is the same as a good Dad, a Boss .. maybe therapist. Except A Dom has kink as a tool...  I have been a father, a boss trained countless people and Dom came easy . It's an honor to have anyone put faith in me. It then puts tremendous pressure on me to take them to where they envision not my vision.  It may feel to them it's my vision .  In the end most have understood and were gracious thankfully. Don't know why I am sharing .. did.   

I Wonder Who We Are... I often look at myself thru the eyes of my mind. Who do I **think** I am? Who do I want to be? Who am I? What am I? I wonder how many others take the time to self-reflect like this? I try to do this weekly.  Sometimes late at night as I bask in the quiet night’s arms I find my mind drifting to the day gone by. I replay the days events and scrutinize my actions at times.  TODAY, did I live my life to my best potential? The gift of life I was given is a treasure that we so often under value. It's easy to get caught up in the daily struggles that inflict us as we sometimes dredge thru the day thankful it's over.  Guilty! After all we are all human.  In a world filled with hate, selfishness, struggles and woes sometimes its all we can do not to scream. Allow a blood curling sound to exit our lungs, travel up our throats picking up momentum as it exits our lips with a shiver echoing thru the darkness to find no respite.  A primal sound that perhaps evolved from our primal ancestors to never develop or change in the millions of years gone by. Signaling our frustrations and every other imaginable negative energy that exists within us today. As we yearn to release it all allowing them to somehow be absorbed into the cosmos, never to return. A cry for help perhaps? Perhaps.  Perhaps it's just an evacuation of all that we resent exiting us hoping we can fill the vacancy with the positive. I like to think that's the case with me. But as I look around each day, looking for positive energy, from my fellow man I am left starving. Wanting to see more beauty I can absorb to act as my muse. Guiding me to be a better me as it motivates me to want to feed love back into the world.  But alas, it has become a daunting task. Disappointment abounds the empty caverns of my heart and mind. Have we become so shallow as a society that the only thing that now defines us is instant and momentary self gratification? Often at the expense of others. Is this what thousands of centuries of evolution has led us to? NAY I say! Not I today! Unable to find it readily at the hand of my two legged peers I turn to nature. I find myself being blindly led to the pasture where my four legged friends reside. I hear their whinnies as they see me approaching. Running towards me anxious to see me. Besides me walks my fury four legged best friend. My canine soul mate who has dedicated his life to unselfishly and unconditionally love me. To never leave me no matter what I do or how I treat him. He is bound for life to me. Arriving closer to the gate a thunderous echo of stampeding hooves envelopes the air. Filling my ears with its roar as it approaches closer. Standing on the lush green carpet of grass I am surrounded by these four legged majestic creatures that so easily could do me harm. My smaller companion eyeing them carefully under his protective gaze.  Wet nuzzles against my hands searching for treats. This action is common place here. All fighting for my attention as there are so many and I am only but one. The creative one among the group, finding no need to challenge the rest for the position of my hands. He quietly walks up behind me. I am made aware of his presence among the distraction as I feel rubbing against my back. His side turned head using my back as a scratching post to satisfy his itch?  No my friends that is not the self centered case of this half ton creature. He is saying, "Daddy I am here. I missed you. Where have you been?" He is most certainly not the alpha but nor is he the omega. He falls somewhere in between the alphabetically defining realm of personality letters.  Turning to let him know I acknowledge his presence with rubs I manage just a few. The other horses quickly pushing him away to look to my moving hands for what they desire. Treats and rewards to fill their already fat full bellies. Yet he stands alone a mere stones toss away watching. Reaching into my pockets I retrieve a handful of treats. Allowing the surrounding herd to acknowledge them with their keen sense of smell I toss them in the opposite direction of my inamorato who stands there with no desire to chase such petty treats. The rest of the herd now busy vying to retrieve the hand tossed delicacies he approaches me. I hold his head against me with love and affection. It is as much his fuel as it is my own. I turn to exit, followed at a respectable distance by my adoring and adored friend.  Holding it open signaling him the permission he seeks to exit the field and the others who physically resemble him. As the three of us stand there, me enjoying and soaking up the moment, I can't help but observe. Acknowledging and absorbing the actions that just took place.  My plotted journey observed and responded to. The actions and reactions as I entered. The easily manipulated distraction I created that all but one fell prey to.  His dedication to follow me outside his defined boundaries and the company of the others physically like him who have near matching DNA. His choice to leave the safety of his peers signals to me that he finds safety and comfort in my company. His trust in me that I always have and always will be his caregiver, his provider, his protector fills my now empty heart.  The many journeys we have traveled together since his birth are safely tucked away in my mind. Easily retrieved to reminisce upon when needed. As I stand there admiring this majestic creature of God before me my mind retrieves from the filing cabinet labeled with his name. Quickly sorting thru day 3 of his birth begins to play.  He is laying curled upon a stack of hay within a stall of the barn. His protective mother standing guard over him. Her ears pinned back warning anyone that intends to do him harm to stay away. Her eyes soften and ears relax as she recognizes me as the source of the sound. Carefully not to startle the sleeping foal I slowly approach. His mother content with who the human visitor is allows me safe passage.  I find myself first sitting next to him admiring his beauty. Astounded by the miracle of birth that he is. His soft breathing seen in the way the straw beneath his nose moves back and forth as he inhales and exhales so gently. Leaning in closer to touch him I look at his guardian looking down at me as if silently asking for her permission to get closer. When I see no warnings of alarm in her I move my hand gently running it across his neck.  His days old fur so soft I am jealous not to have something as comforting as this to sleep upon myself. He releases a soft sigh as if finding comfort in my loving strokes.  Now realizing that the submissive love his mother has given me extends to the trust of her new born, I inch closer. Soon I find myself laying along side his tiny body. Curled up next to him I drape an arm over him. Another soft sudden exhale of breath reaches my ears. Is he communicating his pleasure in feeling my warm body against? Is he capable of such a thought process? I lay there for what feels like hours pressed against him. Only to realize as he begins to finally stir that it’s only been 10 minutes by my watches time.   Emancipated from this world lost in head space I return the the physical by his movement.  He turns his head, in what seems to be, a search to find the source of his sighs. I softly look into his eyes hoping he can peer into my own and see the love and adoration I have for him. THAT moment etched in my mind forever more NEVER to be lost or forgotten.   Slowly he rises as if not to harm me and stands over my still prone form. I find my heart overflowing with love. If only I could find this form of love in my own breed. His mother content that no harm will befall him under my watch, complete and loyal trust bestowed upon me finds comfort in our bond to now lay down herself.  Obviously exhausted by the ritual of birth and having to provide  protection to her child. Her 1400 lb mass taking up much of the stall but careful not to invade my space. Suddenly I find myself lost in thought. Who do I think I am? Who do I want to be? Who am I? What am I? To THEM.  A brushing against my calf returns me to the world of today as the drawer filled memories are closed. In the universe of my mind I lost a momentary connection to this plane of existence.  My canine comrade standing now by my side waiting for direction. He looks at me then glances to the tack room and back at me. As if he is asking me, in the best way he knows, “Are we going for a ride?” my eyes look down at him as I rub his head. “Not today good boy. Today daddy just needed affirmation to who he is. My hearts full again. Thank you.” “Go get him and let’s go back in. Daddy has work to do.” Doing what he’s been taught to do under my caring tutelage he bounds off to bring back my blessed 4 legged gift. A simple double click from me, seeing his adopted brother heading his way, he knows its time to go back. With the look of a bowed head he walks to me as I rub his face and ears. I whisper in his ears, “Good boy.” As if content to hear these words he heads for the gate. Opening the gate I let him return to his pasture mates where he looks like just another horse. “Come on dog. Daddy has to go search for someone! “ he says as he turns to go back into the house. Because now I know who and what I am. I know what I was meant to be.

Tree of life and tree of knowledge were not actually trees. The tree of life was God and the tree of knowledge was the devil. The devil was actively talking to Eve in the garden about how he felt towards God. Eve was believing him and started talking to Adam about it who wasn't sure but eventually sided with his wife Eve. They wanted the devil to rule over them instead of God. It was the devil who told them they were naked. It was the devil who said they weren't getting what they truly needed from God. When God came to the garden they hid from him thinking he was the bad guy that the devil made them to believe. They were clothed with leaves. God questioned this and asked who told them they were naked and they told them the devil did. God then asked them what else the devil said. God then gave them a choice to worship him or follow under the devil's care. They chose the devil. God kicked them out of the garden and explained to them they would die one day because they were leaving the tree of life behind and they would no longer have access to it. They would have to learn from their choices. 

AcadaMay CFNM End Of Year Ball - Saturday 6th December - Applications now open The AcadaMay CFNM Ball celebrates female empowerment through elegance, confidence, control, and connection in a respectful, sensual, and beautifully refined setting, but all dynamics of BDSM are welcome to attend. It is open to everybody, whether Dominant, sub, switch, kinky or just plain curious! Couples, single ladies, single gentlemen are all welcome. Step into an evening of elegance and intrigue at the Enchanting AcdaMay CFNM Ball where sophistication meets sensuality. Set in a stunning large and comfortable dungeon in North London this inclusive gathering invites guests to engage their sartorial splendour and immerse themselves in an unforgettable experience. This fantastic venue is fully equipped with all sorts of interesting equipment on two floors; St Andrew’s Crosses, Spanking Benches, Schoolroom, Medical Play Chairs, Queening Chairs and comfortable sofas and Chesterfields for relaxation and socialising. There is even a curtained 4 poster bed for those who may wish to have a private or public moment - a little voyeurism never did anybody any harm! The evening starts at 9pm and I would ask you to arrive promptly so we can get the party started and not waste any valuable time so that we can get stuck into the evenings events. In the interest of privacy and security I will send attendees the exact address nearer the time. Bring your favourite tipple which the naked waiters will serve to you during the course of the evening, and of course, your favourite selection of toys for your debauched use throughout the evening. CFNM (clothed female, naked man) males and CMNW (clothed men, naked woman) females are invited to attend in white shirt collar, black bow, white wrist cuffs, black dress socks and black polished shoes, otherwise you will be naked.  You will be expected to serve the other guests upon request. The dress code for gentlemen is black tie followed by fetish attire for the commencement of play. The dress code for ladies will be LBD and heels for the cocktail hour followed by fetish attire for the ensuing decadence. Whether you're a seasoned attendee or new to the scene, the Ball promises laughter, conversation, and connection among like-minded individuals who appreciate charm, class, and decorum and most of all, plenty of BDSM! With limited availability and high demand, we encourage early application to ensure your place at this exclusive affair. Come celebrate freedom, elegance, and community in one truly extraordinary evening.  If you wish to attend please do email for further details of how to reserve your place. email:acadamayevents@gmail.com Website: acadamay.com under CFNM

Hello to the beautiful souls in this lifestyle  i've been away from this site awhile, i seem to have developed, in more ways than one !  Especially my lovely budding breasts i now have growing on me, i accept i am submissive, trans, or sissy if you like.  Two women decided to have me sign up for gender reassignemnt, and now i am pre op and on hormones, and i so love being me now, a kinky hybrid submissive, the only sad thing is, i'm not owned.  boo !  The two ladies moved on after they knew there was no going back for me. Now i'm seeking an Owner who would love to carry on making me be the way i am meant to be, serving them.  i would embrace TPE and accept being a slave too, no say, no control.  i jsut nered to meet that person who'd love doing such to me.. Don't be shy,,say Hi 

We have selected one male to do the trial period next weekend which is May 13th - 15th we have notified him and he has agreed to to do the trial period. This does not mean we will accept him he must be compatible with us and once he is here we will be able to see if he is all talk or can acutally walk the walk. If we do accdpt him we will put another journal entry so you all know the postion is taken. What does that mean for you now if you have been going through the process?  It means you did not get the first chance at the trial period it does not mean you will not get the chance. He might not even show up. If he does he may not meet our expectations so sound off and let us know you are still hoping for a chance. If you messaged us and we have not began the process with you we will not even begin with you until we go through the many applicants that have began the process.    We are till looking for one female slave so if you are a female slave that is interested let us know if you are one that we are currently considering know that this does not affect your chance.   What was the reason that we chose him over the many other candidates. Frankly for the most part many of you that we did not choose were close in the running but this guy was the only one out of more than twenty guys who does not claim he works from home. We are not against that but we find it hard to belive that 95% of our male applicants work from home. For those of you that was not bullshitting us understand that we do not know who is and who is not. So we chose the one who has a job at a warehouse.    If he does not work out we will have to try one that claims to work from home and see where it goes. My sister in law legitimately works from home and has for many years so we know it it is possible but since so many claim to it just seems like some of you are bullshitters and we cannot figure who.   If you stay interested keep your eye out for the follow up entry to this to see if the position acually closed.   Otherwise good luck in your search. 

Essay on the three types of Dominants as percieve us to behave and act. Dominants fall into three general categories, Authoritarian, Democratic, and Equalitarian. Each category has its sub counterpart. Because these are generalities each category has many variations. What these variations may be are left up for you to conclude. The Authoritarian Dom:  Rules with absolute power and total control. He makes all of the decisions and there is no questioning by the sub of what is asked or what is done. The only recourse a sub may have, if allowed, is a “safe” word. Generally there are little or no limitations binding the Dom. The subs attracted to these relationships are the “slave” submissive. The sub that wishes to be totally controlled. This form involves the voluntary surrender both emotionally and physically on the part of the sub. Generally the limits are pushed through heavy S&M activities. Some of the strongest relationships exist within this category. The couples that live a 24/7 D/s relationship are usually found in this realm. Unlike with the Democratic Dominant, there are no long training sessions to affect certain behavior. Things are done with no negotiations, limits are pushed and both parties accept this. The feeling of closeness and coupling is generated by the relinquishing control and the wielding of (almost) absolute power. This Dom’s implements (toys if you prefer) are usually highly crafted, sometimes intricate, wielded both with proficiency and effectiveness. The Dominants are skilled in their use and their sub is generally highly skilled at receiving the results. The implements developed by the Authoritarian’s are often borrowed in kind by Dom’s in other types of D/s relationships. It can be a profound and sobering experience for someone not yet familiar with this type of domination to watch an Authoritarian scene. Authoritarian Domination is what is usually referred to as “real”, when D/s aficionados use the term real, this is of what they are speaking. This type of D/s is not only S&M but encompasses a wide variety of  D/s conventions and behaviors. This is the generally accepted and also the stereotypical definition of BDSM. Remember that this is only the stereotypical definition of “real”. Authoritarianism is only one ect or area of D/s. So “real” is what you are involved in and feel comfortable with and not what others do.  

Life has been quite the tumult lately, with my father's heart attack turning our world upside down. Amid the anxiety and the worry, the hospital visits, and the sleepless nights, I've been shouldering the responsibility of my father's shop of beautiful Indian dresses. It's been challenging, but also rewarding in a unique way, connecting me to my Indian roots and my father's passion. As if managing the shop and our home wasn't enough, I've also been grappling with my own emotional journey. As you know, Diary, my late husband introduced me to the world of BDSM, a journey we had just begun exploring together before his untimely passing. I've found solace and a sense of liberation in the dynamics, the play, and the trust required in such relationships. We had our own special names in our BDSM dynamic. He would call me his 'Cherished One', a name that symbolized his respect, love, and the care he took of me. In turn, I called him 'My Guardian', my protector, my guide in this new world. These names weren't just labels; they were expressions of our bond, our trust, and our shared journey into a world that was both thrilling and nurturing. Now that I'm ready to venture back into this world, I've been receiving messages from individuals and couples who are interested in exploring these dynamics with me. However, what I've noticed is that some of them resort to titles and names in their initial messages without establishing a rapport first. While I appreciate their interest, I firmly believe that such names and titles need to be built on a foundation of mutual respect, understanding, and consent. Being addressed with a name that I haven't agreed to feels disrespectful and unsettling. So,,that's how life is going right now - a whirlwind of emotions, responsibilities, and new experiences. I'm still learning, still navigating my way through all this, trying to find a balance between my duties, my self-care, and my desires. Here's hoping the road ahead becomes a bit smoother.

 COSMlCCUNT