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Happly owned in Spain, read my journal about recents events, this is the same profile I had when I started this journy. formally of Seattle.
Eventually looking for a Long Term TPE of domestic service and sexual slavery. I have learned about and dabbled in the local BDSM community. but haven't found my 'owners,' locally and while I don't expect to find them here either but I thought I would throw in my line and see if I get caught to confuse my metaphors
There should be a spark, and a right person will be known I think fairly quickly.
I am not a pain slut, don't believe in public humiliation in front of a vanilla public... kink friendly public maybe... and don't like tattoos etc.
However as I slave I can see that pain and humiliation may be good tools of correction, and sometimes even a fun activity for my owners. And I imagine my owners may wish to mark me in some way. so I know what I will be getting into, and I expect the dom to set some boundries before we commit to eachother. This should be a fun relationship, even if sometimes it means I am stuck in the kitchen washing dishes... which is not by any means a sexy activity for me.
I seek owners who will respect their slave, and honor and protect their property. Is it a impossibility to find? maybe, but I have time.
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So I was taken up to the castle, and we held a weekend of activities and fun things, the highlight was where I was strapped down and a heated iron was prepared and 4 girls and a couple of the guys didn't know I was to be 'branded' with a cold brand, it was interesting to watch their faces, of course they never officialy told me I wasn't getting branded either, and I admit I sorta did want my masters's mark on me. we are now in talks on the subject now. Ideas are welcome, what mark do you suggest?
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the art of begging,
Masters have made me beg a lot, they don't like it when I negotiate in my begging, because I am a slave an have no power from which to negotiate. So give me some ideas how I can beg, and make my begs more entertaining for my owners.
Also my first chastity belt that was built for me arrives today, here begins a long period of time with no orgasims other then the ones I can have by thinking about it only.
thank you Masters for owning your slave
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It has been an interesting time, before I had been eager to please, and to play at being of service, now I am at service full time, at a command I find myself obeying before thinking. It has been a wonderful and horrifying few weeks as my submissive drive was nurished and rewarded and used against me, forcing me to do things and accept things I wouldn't normally.
No partialy because of masters schedule, this will be my first let up period, and first return to the regular world on a few trips. We will see how this 'slave' training holds up.
The maid had gotten used to having me around and I think is interested in finding another submissive for her self. She has become quite adept with the riding crop that she now carries around while watching me do some task. so there may be an opening soon.
Everyday I am grateful for the life I have choosen, and that I have found some one trustworth to take te submission that is inside me and exploit it to its fullest.
Thank you Master and Mistress for owning me.
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Thank you Master and Mistress for taking care of me. I have been spending time in sensory depravation, in an atempt to make my body more responsive. |
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I am for the first time in a 24/7 state of slavery, I have not been left alone for the past week. I am working hard to make every action an extension of my owners will. Thank you Master for owning me. |
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Sorry just on to update my journal. As was discussed with me saying things over and over helps makes them true, thus I have been ordered to begin each day and end each day afirming the fact that I am a slave. My heart has choosen this path for me now my Owners will choose my path, I will honor you, I will serve you, I will obey you, I ask that you take me and keep me as your slave to do with as you will.
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Okay so we had the talk. discussed lots of things, and we are ready to move onto the next level, the more perminet submission.
we talked about our past relationships, (They had a previous 'slave' from America and they have learned a few things in 'training her' she had to move back for personal reasons, that didn't go into, but mildly keep in touch with her) So I learned some more of their concerns and desires.
Anyway we all have very similar kinks, goals and 'limits' and are getting on rather well thus we are ready to go on to this new level.
So this means I will be entering into a sorta boot camp of submission, so some physical, behavioral, psychological conditioning, so that it switches from being a game, to being reality, bring out my submissive self and eliminating my hesitation and worry about my slavery.
I know this training will mean a lot of work for my Masters, and I am thankful for their interest in me, and they thanked me for my gift of submission.
this all means less time hanging out online, not sure if I will even keep up this journal... at least at the moment... so thank you to all my friends... and friendly email buddies who I talk with. however if you want to write please do, all suggestions and kind words are appreciated by me and my Masters who read everything.
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So had a interesting session with my shrink. in past we had talked about, moving to Spain, what I want to be when I grow up, what I think about relationships, jealousy, etc. we did tests about the type of person I am etc. (would you take a pen from work? questions) Today was different we talked about my submissive nature, which is something I hadn't brought up, she said she talked with and is good friends with 'my Mistress' and from the beginning she knew I was submissive and wanted to get comfortable with me, and was waiting for me to bring it up, and now it was time. So now she says she is not trying to change me in ways i didn't want to change, but it was time to think about what kind of submissive I wanted to become and if there was some help she could provide. She is a Domme and has a stable of male slaves who worship her. and she helped me form some questions to begin talking with my Doms.
it is an exciting time.
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Master came home this evening, and told me to change into a backless dress, I came down and they chained me up to a post with my back to the room and spent the evening testing my spanish and inserting tiny needles into my back when I got a wrong answer. that is one from of motivation to learn a language. |
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So, in my maid out fit, more work quality then just for show, but still when bending over to pick up something off the floor you might catch a few good angles. I was cleaning up around the house while Mistress had a Kink friendly friend over, whichwas why I was on hand, though mostly I just worked. During the conversation much of it in Spanish so I missed most of it Mistress said she was thinking about getting me tattooed, which is a soft limit of mine, I am not getting tattooed by someone I am not staying with for the long term, and certainly limits of what tattoo I would get... anyway I guess it might have been a hint that I should think about if I am at that level. Which in one case is stupid because they are very nice and I enjoy the adventures I am having, but then again it is final. I guess this will be something I talk about with my shrink.
Oh someone sent me a picture of a girl packed in a suitcase, in a sexy black dress and all.
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Okay I want to try some liquid latex. We saw a show where they painted it on, it dried, then they ripped it off. it was quite sexy, anyone have any fun with it? want to tell me about it? |
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So more restrictions comming, I am going to become a vegitarian, and only eat meat that my owners personally give me. plus no more junk food, (which I don't eat anyway) and no more sugar, at least things that are candy, save that which I am personally given by my owners. (sugar in a salad dressing, is okay, a candy bar or donut are not) So no more sodas for me. I am starting to look good thanks to the personal trainer.
Also the hubbel skirt, I was told to wear it as they took me out to a club with dancing, and I had to spend most of the night at the table, they didn't make me get out on the floor in the skirt, but I did have to go get drinks once.
If you don't take to long a stride you can actually get pretty fast in one.
I also went to shooting practice again and am doing much better, still not as good as Mistress so I doubt I will ever be her body guard but who knows.
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So Neither of my Doms are Psychologists but they both took Psych classes in Collage, so they have been giving me tests, what sorta job am I suited for, personality, IQ, Right brain left brain? even ink blots. and they had me go to a therapist Which I have seen twice now, "how do I feel about moving so far away" and she did a battery of tests, some that I have no idea what they are for, reaction times to weather a word I saw was red or blue.
Anyway Do you guys like psych tests? Any tests you give your sub?
I recieved a hobble dress, a very tight dress especially around the ankles so you can take only tiny tiny steps. It came in a box on my front pourch with a note that said "practice wearing this." So after school I immidiately changed and spent the evening at home making dinner, spanish lessons, a few other tasks wearing the dress, I wonder why I need the practice? |
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As my reward, I had several sessions of japanies rope bondage. Personally I love the feeling and the look of a woman (okay maybe men too) bound in complex, but beautiful knots.
This was something I have never done before and since I first saw it something I have always wanted to do. I also was shown some tricks for some of those photos of women bound up, how they can make something that looks cool but is really dangerous, not really dangerous. So we did everything safely and it was really cool. However, some of these long positions they tied me up in still where long, and I was feeling it after a while.
My favorite was a rope net that went around my torso, over my shoulders between my legs that was rather comfortable and I could walk around in. then from there they could attach other ropes where ever they wanted and I soon found myself in a web of rope that allowed lots of squirming but no chance of escape.
a cool one that tied my hands and elbows tightly together, you dont realize how easily you can be lead around when your arms cant move, just a little push and I was off balance, and they could make me go where ever they wanted.
Other updates, I have started classes, I like my students, it does take up alot of my free time. at the end of the month I get a quick 5 days in Bulgaria and Istambul. not enough time to see much as we are moving alot of the time but I hear there is a harem room in Istambul that I am looking forward to seeing.
A second "reward" for some good behavior that I am not allowed to telll the story of, is instead of panties, I was given this string of pearls to wear. and across the clit it actually two strings, that rub against me when I walk. the advertising on the box said it was the most amazing feeling, which is both true and not true.
you could with easy forget you had them on, but add a little bit of play, and it was fun to wear them infront of class and have a telephone reminder just before going in that you are a slave, and what your mistress and master will do to you when you get home. hopefully it didn't ruin my class.
If you know any good rope technique tips you want to share I would be interested, and if anyone else has ever worn these pearls let me know.
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Well I am back in Spain, I haven't had alot of time to be on lately, and I have been prepareing for my classes. I hope I am a good teacher, my owners have been very kind and have been prepareing some plan for me.
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Well they returned, it seems it was a test of sorts, would I with a job, a potentially highpaying job, and a suitcase full of money, quite a bit of money, (much of it was fake but I didn't know that) take off or would I stay and follow orders as I had been told. The Brothel was interesting, the johns were not as unpleasent as I at first thought they would be. I admit men have it tough when searching for a women to say yes, and for some who can afford it, a brothel saves time. there are a few women clients that came as well. I didn't get put out on the floor, though I could have if I wanted, instead I was the girl getting drinks at a bar, doing paper work in the back office, tiding up after clients left, and doing laundry lots of laundry. sheets get changed after ever coupling. Many of the girls were from eastern europe and I talked to some of them. This was a very respectable place, and no one was ever forced into anything, a few girls had originally gone for work got caught into prostitution and mule work, escaped, then come back into the sex work this time on their own terms, some of them were still involved with a court case against these white slavers.
Anyway pleased with me, my owners bound me, and played orgasm denile for quite a while with me as a reward... :)
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Okay so I feel sorta abandond, I was supposed to go on this trip with my owners first stop Germany, near the boarder with the Neatherlands. For fun we go visit this brothel, because they have gotten me papers saying I can work in the EU they end up getting me a job there, as their "plans have changed" and they need to travel with out me. So I am this hostest/cleaning lady in a brothel, for room and board plus tips, while they quickly finish their emerancy trip. They left one of there bags behind and i know it has important papers in it, I tried not to complain as what is a slaves place, but here I am alone waiting for word.
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I went shooting today, Mistress had us dress in leather, matrix outfits I thought though not quite as fantastic, I did have a small leather collar to wear which dressed as we were didn't look to out of place. Mistress is a great shot, I could hit the bulls eye but she could fire 3 shots two in the chest one in the head, after my first shot my aim would go to hell. It was quite fun, Mistress thought that they may take me on a trip with them, to the wilds of north africa and while she doubted they would ever be close to needing to use a gun, it was a fantasy to have a body goard slash slave, when we got home she showed me her gun, which she says is a waist since it is a hastle to carry it around in Spain, and she can't take it on trips, and she just uses the guns they have at the gun club. she took it apart and put it back to gether infront of me, and then took me at gun point, ( I think I knew there was no bullets in the gun) she forced me to hold my hands up then very slowly open my leather pants and drop them around my ankles and then made me bend over a table. then I felt her behind me with a stap on and felt the gun pinted ant the back of my head, and sholder as she had her way with me. it was quite exciting.
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The Castle. Master arrived back and I have had a few other interesting tales that I have had no time to write about. This one however was interesting, one of the friends of my owners owns a fort that is open to the public, it was used to make his family rich way back when, they guarded a road and taxed the people who used the road. it consists of a 4 story tower and a big building that was rebuilt, perhapes was at one time a barn now it is sorta a main hall. and a small wall that creats a small courtyard. a few other buildings are now just ruins outside the castle that I didn't learn what they were. If you follow a old road up off the main road you go quite a bit up, and you come to this fort on thestone outcrop overlooking the road for quite a distance, inside is a few tapestries and a box to put donations. About 6 cars came up, and nearly 30 people 10 doms and the rest subs. Someone had a key, that goes down to a dungen carved out of the rock, we set up candles and a grill everyone started preparing dinner and decorating the place. So we had some fun in the dungon, and the tower, and then went to bed the next morning we had a collaring ceremony, the subs were the handmaidens we prepaired the slave for her collaring. then there was more fun and games, but as the sun was setting and we had a fire they prepared a branding. The slave said she was excited to be branded. I was a bit stressed but it wasn't my skin and she seemed okay with it. Two men tied her down and exposed her thigh, they heated the branding iron, and we watched, and you could see the girl was stressed, and at the last minute instead of the hot iron they pressed a cold iron to her thigh and she screamed, and I hadn't realized what was going on... I was latter told that it was a little bit for us, and many of the ones who new what was going on had a lot of fun watching those of us who didn't. I am not really clear how much the girl was in on it. There was a really cool guy who I couldn't talk to as he didn't speak english but he could handle a single tail whip. and instead of chaining the girl, they just made her stand agaist the rock wall, and I can tell you the urge to run is amazing, and the sting, ouch.
I am sorry that my writing skills are not up the the great weekend.
anyway more to come
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I have been getting beaten up by my personal trainer. I saw a ad here for a Personal Trainer with a Professional Dom twist, and I think it is a good Idea, Miss Candy is in Seattle, don't know her but the idea seems great. Anyway after feeling tired from the work out and going to my Mistress and getting bossed over really put me in my sub space.
Anyway I had a second fitting for my corset, and a training corset to wear for a meeting. Mistress has a friend who is a professional Dom. Mistress has even subed for her, and was trained by her. After meeting her they cuffed my wrists ankles and a collar and a gag. I was placed in a caged where they attached my cuffs to the bars. and then my , Then Mistress and her friend had a Client that they put through his paces allowing me to watch. Eventually they cuffed him to the bars opposit me. It is interesting to stand next to an overweight naked man who is tied up right next to you. Next they flogged him, it was even more intersting seeing his erection as he is flogged. It was an interesting hour.
So Mistress will help her friend out when a client asks for two Dommes (and sometimes she plays a sub too) Looks like I may get to play a sub in this play too.
Finally I get to take off the corset, it is the longest I ever wore one. a bit of lesson learning how to breath.
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Master went on a business trip, I arrived as ordered to his home to help get him to the airport. I stood at the door while Mistress kissed and messaged Master's crotch as she said goodbye. She then handed me the bags and told me to 'take care of Master in the car' "can you do that?" which looking into her eyes I realized what she ment and nodded. I carried the bags to the waiting car, then got into the car with him, we were driven to the airport, I asked Master if I can take care of him, and gave the sexiest oral sex I have ever given. Master did a good job of making me feel sexy and owned, it's hard to discribe just what he did. At the airport I carried his bags to the security screen and then kissed master good bye. Master told me to drive back in the passanger seat next to the Chauffeur, who turns out to be a Submissive to Mistress, he has a wife and children, but needs an outlet to his kinky side, and gets cheep domination by driving her and master around.
My owners have a beautiful home with awsome views and a great location. They also have a north african maid. Who speaks better Spanish then I do, and even better English. Mistress only has her clean 3 days a week, as well as learns Arabic from her, and how to cook north african food. (My owners own a larger then I expected business, part of which imports and exports lots of goods from African and the middle east as well as India. So they travel through with their business, and being able to speak some words of Arabic to women who were making the carpets for them, it made their day) The maid lost her husband to violence in her home country, and now lives with her extended family in spain, She has a dominate personality as I have come to find out. I am now under her direction to clean the house, and join in the cooking lessons and arabic lessons. She is very intelligent and realized that I am obviouly a submissive so yesterday she asked my owner if she can disapline me with a rod, She had me hold out my hand and whacked me a couple of times. I think Mistress negotiated and raised the punishment I was to receive. She is really a very nice woman and I think it amuses her to beat a white woman.
Thus you have learnd a bit about the house hold.
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I tride to do my makeup as I was told Master liked, heavy shadow around the eyes, he seemed to approve, Master took me to get my hair cut, he wanted to shave it off, and thus all my hair would belong to him, but the hairdresser who didn't speak english wouldn't let him, I think, it was quite embarassing being talked about, in the end I think she convinced him to go with something short, something that wasn't my normal slightly longer then shoulder length hair. She used alot of product on my hair to shape my hair towards a point in the back of my head, it is cute and strange to have such short hair. I then went dress shopping, and received a rather long skirt and outfit that shows off my midriff, and a few other things. He then took me to my flat.
he went to get something and told me to clean up and wait for him in that skirt and tight small shirt he had bought me.
He came back 30 mins later he had bought a bunch of groceries for me. After setting them on the counter he said he was glad all my hair wasn't gone because it made a good handle, (I think he was making sure I was okay to play, and after giving a slight nod..) he grabed my hair and lead me to the bathroom in front of the mirror where he made me watch as he put a leather collar around my neck a metal ring in front convenant for attaching leashes, thanking me for being his slave, he then lead me to the kitchen and then handed me some receipes in spanish. He then ordered me to cook him a late afternoon lunch including at least one thing from the receipes he had handed me, I was allowed to ask questions of him and helped me learn some spanish. After making some snacks for him, he ate at the table with me waiting on him. After he was finished he fed me by hand, all the time talking and discussing things of the day. After feeding me, he had to leave, he removed the collar and let go asking if I would return to his collar when he called me. I promised him I would. Unfortunately he had to go so I didn't get to spend the rest of the evening with him, but I have a few tasks I need to preform, plus writing letters and other stuff.
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This is not my focus, so don't expect quick answers, infact my still potential owners will read my email first.
However they want me to keep up my journal. So I live in a small apartment that I have paid up for 9 months, so I have a place to sleep, I have a job starting in March so I will have some money, this will allow me to meet with this couple and see if we want to join eachother.
So my first full day meeting I went out with her, she looked over my cloths and shoes and took me shopping. She spent on 3 pairs of shoes for me, more then all the money I have ever spent on shoes. Yes all High heels, one sorta fantasy the other too still sexy but normal. We went shopping for underwear, in the dressing room, mistress did an internal inspection on me, it felt good. She took me to a spa, and had a 'Brazilian' ouch, and thus I have very little hair left. She took me to have my makeup done, in a way that Master prefers, he likes the focus on the eyes, at least on me, Mistress by contrast has a great mouth and focus is on her lips. I normally don't wear much makeup, it was interesting. She wanted to get me in for a corset fitting, not that they plan to keep me in one, but as she informed me I would be a working slave and not allowed to get out of chores for the sake of a corset. But we didn't have time. She took me to a gym and bought me a membership, and set up a time with a personal trainer, he only speaks spanish, and this will help me learn spanish I guess. I look forward to them. Then as we were eating in a cafe we talked about things, before I went home, she had me hand over my forarm, which she proceeded to write on, with big letters the word SLAVE, I thus could sorta hide it by holding my arm against my body, but I would have to make my way home by bus and a bit of a walk with SLAVE written on my arm, a test on how well I well do in public. sorry this thing doesnt have a spell check. Check back for my first day with Master.
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I have a small one room place walking distance to the city center, no tv or internet yet, not allowed the tv though. they say it is bad for your brain.
I am very restricted to the time and place I can get on the internet so contact will be limited.
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Still moving to Spain to try out my potential new owners
Thanks to a pro-bono lawyer (who says they are all sharks?) and the Seattle mayor's office, I have received some of my money back, and the landlord has some fines. Which means I have a bit of money in my pocket when I arrive in Spain. Ticket is purchased and I am looking forward to my trip, At even 5 cents a minute my phone bill is pretty hefty to Spain. but my yard sale has taken care of all my bills, for my first time I am debt free, pretty much. a couple of friends will hold a few things, for me but other then that I am a free woman, save for a rope harness that one friend was given permission to punish me with. It wrapes around my waist and is invisible under pants but is secured in such a way I can't remove it with out it being obviouse that it was removed and i have had to wear it first for a week and now my owners in Spain extended it until I leave for the airport. Water on the rope makes it shrink, so only spunge baths for me. So I guess I am not free.
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I have desided to move to Spain, sooner. My landlord desided to have a disagreement with me. He said the carpet that I tore out of the appartment after the flood could have been cleaned so he is taking my deposit and last months rent in liew of payment, so I had to find a new place, I have been couch surfing, and desided not to waste money on a new place only to leave in a few months, so I have been rather busy selling things, buying things like suitcases, and getting ready to go. plus I haven't had private internet access recently. hopefully this will all change soon. Oh I have a nice hemp rope harness, that is beginning to chaff, and prevents showers, (sponge baths instead)
anyway look forward to being on line again soon and in Spain yeah!
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Here is the news: I am not looking anymore.
I am going to go to Spain to teach English, ( I am assured even my poor English will help eager students in Spain.) which will give me the chance that meet further with my potential owners whom I have hit it off so well.
So I am not looking anymore, I have a few months before I move, and am allowed to chat or email on this site with people who wish to give and or get advice. I am forbiden real life contact and phone calls until I have moved, as it is a little too easy to be stolen that way.
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The flood cleanup went well thanks to some that gave me good advice.
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I am off the market at least until Christmas, I will hopefully decided to move forward with one couple I met here, or be back on the market. Distance if the biggest factor, and confirming everything.
I am free to chat or email anyone and have friends, get advice, provide advice incouragement etc. I usually hang out in the HILT chatroom. you can reach me there.
One thing I am looking for is a activity to help remind my of the pending 24/7 submissive position. I have not been submissive for long periods of time yet, and my potential owners think I need to practice before final decisions are made. So yes I have thought about not wearing panties any more... but what else can I do on my own to remind me of my status?
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I had a great weekend, met some nice people and have learned a great deal. I am not seeking new owners at the moment, I think I have found who I am looking for.
Anyway Happy Thanksgiving to those of you in the US.
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Thanks to all those who are trying to help me find a "real master," but I am doing just fine. I have had a couple of meetings, of friends, neither of us thought it was going to lead to a LTR. but it is nice to meet nice people.
Coming up this week I have real life meetings with some good candidates, which has slowed my online search some. One here in Seattle and one in Portland.
so wish me luck
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Okay I still haven't gotten around to editing my profile, or even replying to everyone who is writting... sorry.
next questions i am getting, will I relocate? Short answer, yes. Though I do like it here in the North West, So if you want me to come visit, give me a realistic description of your home town.
how old a owner am I willing to have.. well I am fairly young and don't expect to necessarly find "the one!" this year... I guess I am looking for someone to be in their 30's or early 40's. But if your a 80 year old multi Millionair who would like a young french maid to leave all your money too I might apply.
Weight, I dont expect you to be perfect. last year I had 5 extra lbs I had to work off from winter... and on me 5 lbs I could look and see the differance. Different body types can hold different amount of weight but I do hope you look healthy.
Picture. I am still taking photos with a film camera... I had a camera on a cell phone but quality was really bad and I gave up the phone... Plus I don't want to broadcast my submissive nature... (I think of guy at my work coming up to me and saying hey I saw you on collarme... I just don't think I am prepared for that...) so I need a suggestion for some way to obscure my face enough and a good cheap digital camera people recomend I should buy. (I also wonder about half the photos of naked women and men's privates parts, that in getting to know some one I am not exactly sure I want to see.)
Since my time is not unlimited I will try and spend it talking to a few people at a time, I won't be able to reply to everyone many have even nice letters that they wrote to me so If I miss you by not getting back to you as soon as I like forgive me... or maybe even write me again a while latter.
hrmm a lot of words huh... well thanks for reading, thanks to friendly people who wrote, and i wish everyone well.
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| Age: 22 |
| Los Angeles,
California |
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