When you want to catch someone sleep but you know you have to be up and have his day going before he wakes. When as an educated woman your views and opinions are totally the opposite of his and you must bite your lip and swallow your words only allowing the words “yes Master” to fall from your lips. When the monthly curse of being a woman calls you to so dearly want to raid the fridge for chocolate and other goodies and the Master tells you its not on the diet plan, can you force out that smile?

Can you as an educated woman find self satisfaction from the choice and decision you have made and look in the mirror each day and realize that all those games and insights that women magazine give don’t and won’t ever apply to your relationship? Those things, that pull at ones heart, mind, body and soul is what a realtime slave knows she has to face, sometimes on a daily basis.

Slavery also means taking the time to learn everything you can about your owner and what makes him happiest. It maybe something as simple as what he wants for meals, what he wants to watch on TV or those few things that the house must never be out of. It also means taking the time to sit back and observe. Learn to read his needs, his wants and his desires before he shares them with you. Take the time to understand him as a person and what is going to make his day a bad one and the best way to make it better.

Learn that at times you may have to offer your body to him to take his frustrations out on. Perhaps you will have to give him time alone and away to just have time for him when what you really what need and crave is his touch. So one may ask why does anyone seek this path.

Well I cant speak for everyone I can only speak for myself. I sometimes compare this to does one decide if they are going to be hetro or homo. I think not, I think you are either born with this need or your not. I try to think back on my childhood and according to all the rules I don’t fall into been drawn to this lifestyle. My parents are still happily married. I was not abused or mistreated so where does this desire come from? My guess is from inside.

I try to look back on early signs and I just always remember being a pleaser. I try to make sure everyone is happy and looked after, and I think it is one of many important traits a submissive can have. I remember as a child wanting to wait and serve people, but I also remember knowing that at times I had a better way to play the game or spend the day, and that conflict to this day still gets me in trouble. I am far from the doormat, so my biggest challenge is finding and Owner who can control and Channel my energies and talents.

I have also learned from being on-line and demanding realtime group meetings that my beliefs, values and thoughts are usually in the minority. Conditional slavery seems to be a much more popular path and at times it makes me feel sad and alone, and at times sadder for the people who have decided that this is a “trendy” choice and will never early understand the bond and love that only a Master and slave can share.

I for one know that if I can find the Master who understands and embraces this lifestyle it will be a union that maybe they only understand and can fill. So you asked what do I offer when I offer my slavery.

The answer to that lies in the belief system that seeks to my heart, mind, body and soul. It means I will come to you with an open mind so I can embrace your training and your ways. It means I will mold my body to be able to do your bidding and allow you to use me in manners that make you the happiest. It means my body becomes yours and that I no longer have to wonder what is best or right for it because you as my Owner now holds that awesome responsibility.

Lastly my soul will finally be free to answer its true calling from birth and be able to sleep at night knowing that I am doing and being what I was always meant to be. Slavery is such a rough double edged sword. It can and will cut you to the deepest of your personal desire, but it can also be the weapon of protection that will get you thru a days calling. The true calling for slavery can be the curse that sends you to do things you might not otherwise do.

The important thing is to grasp the calling and place it in able hands and enjoy the ride of a lifetime. My final hope is that somewhere in this vast land of people there is a Dominant who not really understands, but NEEDS this slave mentality. One whom will not only protect it but push it and never relent being who He is, so I can be who I am and we can only be whole by coming together.