The great majority of the time I'm a typical strong, sane, well educated professional. Couple of graduate degrees, interested in technology, politics, and comedy, slim and physically fit, used to be handsome and kind of fading now ;-) And with a deep need to let everything go and be completely out of control in a woman's control for awhile.

I've played around a medium bit. But I want to play with someone that knows that I really want to be hurt against my will. I want as much pain as possible with as little marks as possible. If you get a warm burn of satisfaction from controlling and hurting someone that wants you to do it to them, we might be able to have some fun together...

My needs are for control and pain, not humiliation, so I don't need to be called anything. Someone who likes doing things to me, enjoys it and hurts me lovingly would be great. Although if it is better for you to be angry, that is fine too. I'd like to explore possibilities and relationships on whatever level works for both of us.

We don't need to start with the scenario below, one of the main fantasies I dream about, but here is some of my core laid out now so can you know me a bit better if you wish:

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The time has finally arrived. The minutes of the clock did finally turn to this time. There is no more avoiding it. It is time. It is here. It is now.

She greets me. Does what she wills with me. She demands I strip. Examines me. Perhaps puts on a collar and leash. Does what she wills with me.

Then the breakdown begins. She orders me to lie face down. She starts to find where my breakpoint is. She spanks me, first with her hand, just so I now it is her physically that controls me physically, then with something she can use harder, a brush or strap or paddle, slowly increasing the intensity until I can't take it and finally twist away from the pain. She remembers the level, starts to gauge how to break me, pushes me back down, against my ineffective attempts to resist, much of the strength in my muscles seeming to be gone. She repeats the process a few more times, slowly building up the intensity, slowing down the increase as she gets close to my edge, keeping me in torment as long as possible to test my ability to remain still, until she takes me over the line and I twist away. She gets a good sense of where my edge is... so she can use it against me.

Next.. she stops, comforts me, tells me I'm a good boy. And then ties me down.

Any way that works, as long as I can't get away. Then she begins to spank me again, building slowly until she takes me to that edge... and stays there. And this time, when I break and move and try to twist away, I cannot. She controls me now. She keeps going, driving me crazy, tormenting me with the pain. Then she stops, and gives me a break, caresses me and comforts me, and reassures me that the pain that is coming will be worse, but that I will be ok by the end. Then... she starts again, building the spanking slowly to my limit again, and staying there, enjoying watching me suffer, unable to escape, having to submit, against my will. Then she caresses me and comforts me again. Then builds to my limit, I try to get away, and keeps me there again. This is three cycles, and I am well softened up, at your will, nearly completely broken down and released and free.

Then, next, when we've played a few times and trust each other, I would like you to take me to the next level, and gag me so I cannot yell. You tell me what you are going to do. I turn my head away and fight to avoid it. I beg you not to. But you secure the gag, and silence me. Then... you spank me again until you reach my limit... and go past it. Harder than before, over the edge, I twist and turn involuntarily now as my body is taken over completely by you, and released from me. With more pain than I can take, I scream silently into the gag, and you continue until you see I am completely broken down. I am crying. You own my body, and have released my soul.

You stop, untie me and ungag me, and give me a chance to settle down. You comfort me, put your hand on my face and tell me I am a good boy and did well, stroke the back of my head. And then, when I am enough recovered...

It is not over. You tell me to lie on my back. And you repeat the same cycle of torment. This time on my front with nipple play and pain, and perhaps some other stuff we find we like. First, you find my limit with your fingers on my nipples, along my sides and inside my legs, pinching and turning until I twist away. Then, you put clamps on my nipples, pulling and turning them until I break and move and twist away. You play with me, pinching my inside legs, twisting the clamps, getting to know my edge. And then... you tie me down so I start to forcefully lose my will again. You take me back to my pain limit, and stay there, so I suffer and cannot escape your will no matter how much I try to twist away. Then again you give me a break, let me recover, comfort me, so my suffering at being pushed back into the pain again is so enjoyable.

And then finally... when we really do all of this and trust each other, you tell me it is almost over, just one more thing... then you tell me how much you are going to hurt me... watch me anticipate and suffer without you even touching me... and then you gag me again. I resist and try to twist out of the way, and beg you, please, please, I never wanted to go this far, I cannot take any more... but you secure the gag without pity.

You make sure the bonds don't give me much movement. You take a second, appreciate your complete control over me, run your hands up and down me in a falsely comforting prelude. Then... you push me again to and past my limit, pinching me, clipping me, pulling and twisting, continuing on and on no matter how much I scream with muffled sounds into the gag, trying to twist away, muscles jumping involuntarily, until my entire body turns into nothing but white pain, a red flame, everything burning away except you, your will, and my burned and cleansed spirit left behind, while you feel your own burning satisfaction in controlling someone and pushing them past their limit against their will, feeding your strength.

And then, to finalize my sentence, along with the pain you caress me or Fleshlight until I explode, so that the ecstasy is inextricably mixed together with the pain, the two becoming one, your will dominating and controlling both, cementing my peace, and releasing a blast of power and control into your psyche and being. We are spent. We are complete.

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