Collarspace.com

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Waiting to be found... Writing this section is proving a challenge to me. I have re-written it most days since I first grappled with it. I think the problem is that, within this context, I don't really know myself. Thus describing myself to another is impossible. I have just come out of a long term vanilla relationship. Largely because I couldn't get around this strange bundle of desires, thoughts and fantasies which have been with me for almost as long as I can remember. It may seem strange to give up something that you do know for something that you do not. Well, yeah - I suppose it is, but I began to think that I may never feel completely fulfilled in any vanilla relationship, and if I couldn't feel complete, then how could I help another feel that way. Well, that is how I have rationalised it anyway. In many ways I feel like I am a bundle of contradictions loosely held together in a single form. In my day-to-day life I am confident, out going and rather strong willed, yet at the same time I do so love being obedient. Even if I fight against the urge - maybe I am looking to give into it. At least with one person. Or maybe I am looking for someone strong enough to break my resistance. I don't think that I could just be anyone's submissive, and certainly not everyone's. But once broken, I think that I would feel for that person in a way I may not be able to in a vanilla relationship. To perhaps feel owned in that sense. I will probably feel very differently again tomorrow and rewrite this, not that, I am sure, anyone else has even noticed! Please do contact me if you would like to chat, or get to know me better. I would be happy to send you a photo.

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PrincessPayton
 
 Age: 25
 Newark Area, New Jersey