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SirAnthony007
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HarajukuTgirl
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| A little about me: I didn't brave the lifestyle until I was in my mid-20's, but I've had the incredible good fortune of being trained and coached by some of the most wonderful women I have ever known. I'm truly blessed, truly. My interests and experience include, strict bondage, corporal punishment, behavioral training, chastity(I do own my own steel chastity device by the way), crossdressing(occaisonally, though this causes me some humiliation to say the least), fireplay(my god is anything more amazing than fireplay?), assplay, and masochism in all its glory. I'll also say that I have a reputation for taking a lot of impact play - I find a lot of excitement in the psychological challenge of impact play and can spend hours discussing the insights behind the psychological impact/reaction even a single scene can provoke. I also found that I am a HUGE exhibitionist and I love to play in public. When it comes to my partner, I find an immense amount of emotional pleasure at making those I am close to happy, comfortable, etc. It may go without saying but some emotional bond must be forged from both sides in order to maximize desire and fulfilment in this kind of a scenario or relationship. My limits are mostly in the areas of water sports and bloodplay. Water sports, scat, etc. are a hard limit while bloodplay is a soft limit. I did get into knife play and needle play(which you can see from my main profile pic) and while both are invigorating you have to recognize that when the experience is not on both sides, getting there is a journey for both participants(NOT a game of catch-up for one or the other). Anyhow, those are where my limits lie. I don't have many other limits, I used to but in embracing my need to serve I will enage in activities for the pleasure of my partner despite my intense desire to do otherwise. My Bottom Line: In life I truly hope I can find a femdom who is interested in having a partner who is respectful and challenging - not defiance mind you, but challenging in the sense that there is unexpected depth to the relationship that opens new avenues for us both to explore together. -Vas P.S. My name isn't just the acronyme for my profile name. I also chose it because it means 'you' in most languages and while it is often a directive 'you' as in a command, it is usually used as an affectionate 'you', to refer to someone you care deeply about. Vas is also short for February in Lithuanian which is the month of my birth....but as most point out I might stretching it there...lol. Thanks for reading.
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Wow....so, it's been three years. Time to make a post.
Feel free to look through the older posts below, though it's a new time and what you'll find reflected below is somewhat ancient history. So where have I been? Where did all the time go? Well, became a workaholic for the last few years which was good.....was a bit of a slacker and had to make up for lost time....it was time well spent as I am quite happy with who and where I am.
And now.....well, I lost my girlfriend, my boss, and my roommate all at once about 2 months ago. All in all, I think it was a good thing - new horizons and you never realize how stressful some relationships are until you take a few giant steps back. One of those three did leave me with a broken heart for a while, but it's confirmation I am alive and I still have feelings(I suppose). So there's that......
Looking toward the future with more optimism than ever before.
-V |
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So what new lately? Hmmmm......
The last two months have been full of a lot of fun activity. Domcon, fetish balls, finally getting out and playing a little. I have to admit, I have been able to stand a little taller lately, very proud. I guess it's because I have finally connected with someone in a big way, and it's all quite fantastic. I doubt I ever expected, ever, to find someone with whom I have so much in common - especially in the ability to be tolerant and understanding....it's something you don't learn, you grow into it and some simply choose not to. It could be my favorite quality that we share. Nah, what am I saying....I love the kink and bizarre so much more!! lol
It's not all completely peaches and cream, we're still both very busy people....at least I'm accused of being FAR too busy, but I'm glad we've found a way to make it work....even though I haven't seen her in almost two weeks. But for some reason, I feel like things are more stable and we're both more sure of each other's position on things....more than ever before.
I'll admit though, I worry that the nature of our lives may pull us apart and I try not to focus on that. I try to focus on all of the good things about spending time and what being together brings to the both of us. Somehow, life has been so much more enriched as of late, and I don't want it to change. |
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Someone recently asked me to write about a submissive experience, and what goes through my mind when I'm engaging others in that way. Most of my experience doing so is playing publicly which makes me much much more attentive and far less "bratty"(for lack of a better word). I've been accused of straying outside of my role. but never when being asked to do something in front of others. I dunno, I guess when I'm out in the open, and especially when in front of other Dommes, I tend to do what I'm told. I understand that my behavior is a reflection on who I am playing with and I would never, ever, want to embarrass someone I care about in front of others.
As a matter of fact, I would suppose that that is when I am most vulnerable. When in private, talking on the phone, or email exchange, I tend to push back a little more - but not because I want to be disagreeable, I think it's more that I feel I can express more of myself when it's one on one. I realized once when I was playing publicly, when I was asked to do something(I don't remember exactly what it was) and I just twisted inside, I did NOT want to do it. But it only took me a split second and I found myself in compliance. I think she saw it, I hope she could see that I was resisting inside.....after all, at the time I don't think I knew anyone I would be so obedient for and it's important that someone knows when you're doing it for them, and no one else.
Thankfully that is all changing and it's a bit of a challenge to try and engage in that mindset all the time, but I'm getting better.
I wish I could reference a specific time or scene but details escape me. Perhaps it's because it's been so long? Maybe it's because I feel very loyal and I don't really want to think about submitting to others. I'm loosly, if at all, interested in doing anything with anyone else right now - I just want to think about submitting to one person, it feels like everyone else fell behind somehow. |
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I hate to disappoint, and even more so I hate canceling plans....with anyone....over anything. I'm struggling with the idea of how to make it up to her, she's been the most important new person to walk into my life in the past several years, and the way that we connect is so special that I cannot make these stupid mistakes of making plans that I might not be able to see all the way through.
Damn.....I just wish I could have made plans for this weekend a little more in advance. Maybe then I would have considered everything and I would have been able to say no to a stupid family get together and do what I really wanted to do which was see her. I'm sitting and wondering why I didn't just cancel my other plans this afternoon anyway.
I'm scared I might really screw this up, that I might get left in the dark. And it's gonna be something like this, some idiotic and completely forseeable mistake by me that gonna make things come crashing down, I just want her to know how much she means and that I'm trying to adjust. It's been a long time since I've had the opportunity to have someone special in my life and it's hard to change the way I approach my plans, I dunno.....I feel like I'm getting better too slowly. Gotta change things up......gotta make this work. |
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Wow...has it really been a year since I last posted? My goodness.....life is truly an amazing thing in all ways. Something in your life can consume you to the point where other aspects and activities seem to so appropriately slide away from your world. Like a wave ceding back into the ocean, it's so natural, so fitting, it should be that way. And while you're distracted by your footprints in the sand, the whole ocean is suddenly on top of you and you wonder how you could have ever thought you wouldn't swim again.
The world of bdsm has taken a back seat recently to the rest of my life. I've been in control of things but in order to maintain my life I've had to prioritize in ways I'd rather not. But that's the point - you gotta do what you gotta do, just don't ever get so focused on making it work that you forget where you were and that you need to go back. Soon......maybe in a month or two I'll be back in control. For now, I gotta keep this mustang from bucking me off into the mud. I can take it, but I just can't afford it right now. |
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Mmmmmm.....Fire. Had my first fire play scene this weekend. Uhhh....I love fire? I don't know what else to say except that it's totally awsome. Torches, flash cotton and string, and cupping were among the activities we engaged in during the first part of our time together. About an hour and a half to two hours of fire play were followed by canes, crops, paddles, rods....a lot of impact play that seemed to go on for hours. Actually, it did....huh.
And what the hell was with all the fucking that night? for whatever reason there were so many more couples than usual in there fucking. Not that I mind, it was just unusual to have so many at the same time. Perhaps they were inspiring each other? They certainly were inspiring me but I didn't have anyone to fuck with so....Damn! We've all been there though.
just a little over 5 hours for this scene.....oh what a night.....
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Ok, wow....did I forget I had this? I guess so...So It's been a while since I posted last so this might be a long one.
Penis is fine….finally healed up. It was the focus of my last entry so I’ll get
that out of the way. haha, I made a leash for it with a quick release that
works pretty well. If you’re ever interested they can be made for about
$1.75 in parts from OSH.
The release is nice since it cancels out the risk of pulling the ring out when
tripping or falling accidentally.I’ve been involved in more than a few scenes in the last few months, I
want to say 8 or so since my last entry. The most recent was a waxing
scene. Since the last time I did this I was covered in oil, I wanted to
experience the heat without the oil so this time I shaved.
Hairlessness is over rated….I say that only due to the maintenance that would
be required, otherwise it’s not so bad….just cold. The heat is more
intense…..certainly. And for whatever reason, towards the end I had such a
great endorphine high that I could not feel the heat anymore and curled my
conciousness into a little ball that I shoved into the back of my mind.
When people describe that they’re flying, or have an out of body
experience, this seems like the opposite. I felt like my face and my feet
were a million miles away but I was inside myself. Does this make sense
to anyone?
On another note I took my first ‘first timer’ to a club. Fun fun
fun……though, it sparked off an argument when we got back, our time while there
was absolutely enjoyable and I had a great time being there WITH someone.
Up until now, I have always gone by myself and while I’m always meeting
someone there, this was different(with the exception of escorting someone once,
which was one of the most unique and amazing experiences I have had so far).
DAMN!!! I can’t wait until the day I can do that with a Dom, the girl I
was seeing up until recently was a fellow sub so…..yeah…..that whole ball of
wax….
Until next time……I’m gonna do my first fire play scene in between now and then
so…..should be fun.
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So I got my dick pierced a week and a half ago. Hmm, I can safely say that peeing for the first week hurts 100 times more than actually getting it pierced. The piercing was a breeze, not even a yelp or a flinch. But now I scream like a little girl when I go to the bathroom, or I did anyways. Finally recovering and it looks like I'll be out of the woods in another week or so. I'm glad I got it.
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Wow, can't believe I forgot to post my last session. Hmm, well. Long story short, 2 and half hours or so. Started with presenting myself and being collared. Once I was in the position my mistress wanted, I was beaten for about an hour and a half. I was holding the same position the whole time which really tired out my shoulders. I was beaten with canes, crops, paddles, floggers, among other things. We even tried a rubber flogger......holy cow! Afterwards, my mistress confessed that she didn't know if I loved or hated canes. I had to confess that I didn't know either. Too much FUN!!!
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So, had my introduction to cbt this weekend. 36 clothes pins and 2 giant clamps later....sore was I. Certain aspects of it were excruciating, but managable. In the end, I had quite a few little scabs on my parts but they healed up in a day or so. Tons of spanking.....tons. I just wish one of them would have beaten some other part of my body-I have to say, that would have been nice. Maybe I hadn't earned that but, oh well.....until next time.
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Ahhhhh.....WAX!!!! Never knew how much I would love WAX!!! Just in case it isn't obvious at this point, I had my first waxing session last Sat. The total length of the scene was 3 hours and 45 minutes but the waxing was over the last two and half hours?...I think, it's always sooo hard to keep track of time under those circumstances.
The wax we were using was between 129-140 degrees...until we switched to the 180 degree candles at the end. At one point, I found my chest so incredibly covered that I couldn't feel a palm on my chest....pressure yes, but no touch at all. Connie, I have to say that I cannot wait until the next time we have a chance to do this.
Learned a lot during this session, I got to focus more on putting myself 'out of body' so to speak, and found myself more and more able to control involuntary body movements as the scene went on-despite the fact that the candles were getting closer and closer to my body with the wax obviously getting hotter and hotter. There was a point towards the middle/end of the waxing that I was able to lie completely still despite the fact that that was one of the hottest points of the scene. Immediately after that, we switched to the 180 degree candles and I lost some of that control.
As is typical with trying a new activity, there are always many things that have been learned. I have chosen to share only one at this point: Don't fart in the middle of a scene, in a case such as this it will only earn you hot wax on your cock and balls....... |
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After four days, I started feeling like myself again. Now I'm looking forward to Sat. and I'm hoping to see many familiar faces. Can't wait.
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It's been two days since my first experience and I find myself lost in the memory of what happened. Every moment and detail stands out in my mind, and as I replay them, I feel the high that I acheived that night. Finally, at about 5 o'clock today and after about 40 hours since it started, the adrenaline high has worn off and the crash has been a little rough, though not unfamiliar. I feel like crap. Although, I have not a single regret about taking a step down a path I should have ventured some time ago.
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Wow, had my first bdsm experience last night and I can say that I am hooked. What an amazing scene, I can't wait for the next time I can go and hang out with these amazing people I met. Hopefully, what happened last night will heal up before the next time.......special thanks to Mistress Wicked and Mistress Mel, you two were amazing. |
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| Age: 52 |
| North West,
United Kingdom |
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