Under consideration now, but He doesn't like that I've criticized others for being dishonest while not telling the truth about myself. This confession will stay up for a time for my humiliation and training.

I'm a complete slut who has cheated on every Master I've been with. So I deserved to be tossed out by them, and shouldn't complain about it. I used to meet up with several men each week, sometimes women but not often, even when I was collared. He accepts that about me, so my profile will remain up, but wants to know who I'm letting use my body.

He demands I share three embarrassing things about myself that show I've always been a slut. I'm require to tell one, but I'm very gratefully to be allowed to choose the other two as long as he agrees that they are personal enough:

I used to watch my mother having sex and later masturbated thinking about it.

I used to wear short skirts and stand by men on the Muni who I hoped would touch me.

I escorted after my divorce.

Another two months wasted following someone who couldn't tell the truth. Are you really a Dom if you can't be honest about how things are going to be?  If he had just been stringing me along for his pleasure and then coldly dumped me I would have infinitely more respect for that person than for a wimp who couldn't say no or "just didn't know how to tell me."  That might not be a healthy relationship, but at least that's someone who is in control and isn't "scared of losing me."

  I like being treated like this. I like that when they're done with me they feel free, but I don't like the loneliness after.

Had an incredible encounter last night with someone who understand exactly what I needed, it's just a shame events like that can't last.  I suppose I blame but maybe I should be grateful to my former Master and husband for needing this.

It seems like all the people I talk with and the two I've met start the conversation in a certain way and stop after a while... never to hear from them again. Really coming to terms with what you want instead of what you think you want can be a harsh realization. I still believe I want to find one person who understands me, but maybe I'm just drawn to these kind of situations.

Thank you to everyone for the response so far. Most have been very positive and encouraging.

One thing many people have suggested is that I may be more a slave than submissive. I just don't think I could honestly claim to be a slave. There was a time in my life, when I tried to live without limits with a Master who no longer had feelings for me, that I felt I was very close to being a slave. That didn't last for long, and I'm at a different place in my life now.