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| Update, July 21
After many conversations, I believe I am coming close to taking the steps I need to make to begin a new life as a full time slave to a Master. I have decided I now need to focus all my efforts and attention on just one potential Master. When I started, I did not know if this was something I could turn to reality, but I now believe I can and I shall. I would like to thank everyone who has helped me so far.
I will keep this account open, but will probably check it much less often. It is very likely that soon my Master, should he accept me, will take complete control, and I may only be allowed access when he chooses to permit it.
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I am hoping to find the right person for me to start my exploration of this lifestyle with, leading me and providing me with the guidance and support if i struggle.
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I have had normal boyfriends in the past and that sort of relationship leaves me cold. I have had boyfriends that have been the main organiser and have treated me like a princess and I don't want that either.
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What i really want is for a Master to command, instruct me, tell me what to do. Not in an arrogant way, but more in an unemotional, matter of fact way. Totally self-assured and every ounce of them dominant and ensuring that i yield to them and their desires completely. I need you to know what you are doing and how to handle me. That is an attractive trait.
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I know that I deeply need this. Not just on an occasional basis, but to totally immerse myself in that feeling of being under someone's control on a full time basis. I know much of it I will find deeply humiliating, but I need to experience that too, hard as it will be. This is obviously embarrassing to accept and to admit, and yes, it does make me feel weak, but also strong in coming to terms with my desires and doing something about it.
This will be a huge step for me. I have almost no experience, just this deep, unfulfilled need. But to turn it into a reality is frightening. The Owner I seek must be able not only to totally dominate and control me in the future, but also understand me well enough to help me progress from seeking to found.
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I would describe myself as quite level headed, unassuming and liberal. Not as daft as I sound if I have had one too many cocktails, but not uber clever nor especially career driven. I know I could find a date if I wanted to easily enough, but I am looking for a meeting of minds, of unequals, where I can be who I really am.
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