Lesson of the day:  Don't post an ad in the personals section of Craigslist and not be prepared to have your e-mail inbox flooded.

Might I ask what's the point of literally copying and pasting your profile into a message to someone?  Or for that matter attaching the same pic that is your main profile pic in a message?

Might I ask what the point is of being one of my "admirers" on here if you never say a word to me?

Some people really don't understand how unattractive and unappealing seeing "U" instead of "You" being used.  Are you really that lazy that you can't move your fingers?  Don't give me that "It saves time" shit.  Are you so stupid that it takes you a few minutes to hunt and peck the "Y" and "O" keys?

I seem to get into way too many fights in the espn fantasy drafts with random strangers.  In my defense, they are complete dumbasses.

I can be the nicest person at work, but when Fantasy Football time comes around, I am one cruel bitch to deal with.

If you got a problem with me not being some skinny bitch, just say it.  Don't beat around the bush and act like a douche.

My reaction to some of the messages I receive on here...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYc4i_FTxo4

I love how some people will message and say they just moved to the area, or about to move to the area, and don't.  

If my family or anyone close to me were to discover my porn stash on my computer, I'm sure there would at least be an intervention or psychiatric visit soon after for me.  Pretty dark shit.

Let's make a kink-edition of Catfish.

There are so many stories on this site.

I have an odd curiosity about glory holes.

How is it that I can only attract creepy old grampas on here?

I can now scratch "butt sex in public" off my bucket list.

Yay me!

You're not a "hunk", as you call yourself, if you're rocking a bushy unibrow.

Some of the compliments I get on here...

I don't know whether to laugh or cringe.

I've just experienced one of the most awkward hookups in my life.

Moving sucks

Some "Dominants" on here need a dose of reality.

Big time.

Believe it or not...

I actually do not have a grandpa fetish!

I would really love to know how one becomes an expert in bar-hopping and clubbing.

A night that ends with Django Unchained and Young Frankenstein is stupendous.  

After seeing some of the names people have given themselves on here, I have decided I want a cool, made-up, meaningless title.

Random but important question...

Why do so many people put up their MUGSHOTS as profile pictures???

My family has been on Jerry Springer before.

And one of my cousins is in prison for building a meth lab.

So yes.  My family is a little odd and crazy.

Hearing my Mom go on and on about penis pictures is so cute.  I can only imagine what she'd say if she saw this site.

I keep trying to go back and re-write my profile, and nothing seems to feel right in my mind.

Sigh.

Let's go publicly masturbate in a Starbucks.

I can't help but to get a kick out of the so called "Dominants" who run and hide behind a Block button when they get called out on bullshit and being disrespectful.

Old Eminem songs, plus some late night cramming, plus random viewing of porno, plus a little alcohol, equals one extravagant night.

Clifford is on for the first time in forever.

My life is complete.

Yeah.  Body hair.  Just doesn't do anything for me.

When I see someone post their cell phone number up on their profile for everyone to see, I have the STRONG urge to sign them up for text-spam.

What I Learned on Here Today (So Far...)

1.  According to some, "a good fucking" is the perfect cure for bronchitis.

2.  Some Dominants might be looking for a slave, but some might be looking for "a good salve".

3.  Apparently people think I would just love to send them money and support them no questions asked.

4.  There are far too many people who take the term "an animal lover" way too seriously on here.

5.  Why send a thoughtful message when you can send a mass produced spammy message?

I just love getting racist and insulting messages at two in the morning!

Why am I on here?

It seems the only interested people are men who are far outside of my age range.

Or just seem to focus on sex and getting off.

Or are just too fucking boring and serious all the time.

Or just plain fake.

Dudes...

Enough with the weird, cryptic messages about domination and whether I'm "worthy".

Also, lose the costumes.  I don't know of any other woman (or person for that matter) who thinks a Franciscan Friar outfit is attractive.

I feel like I've wandered into a medieval role play on here sometimes.  A very bad, amusing medieval role play.

Things I Will Not Do:

• Bang your dog.
• Call you my brother/uncle/whatever to fulfill your incest fantasy.
• Be your internet slave.
• Hand over access to my computer.
• Dominate you.
• Get on cam and please you.
• Call you Sir or Master.
• Meet you because you said so right now.

If I really, really, really wanted random people on here to have either my phone, e-mail, or IM name, I'd post it up here for everyone to see.

There is a guy on here who is using a deceased, killed in action, U.S. Army Captain's photos as his own.  What a fucking disgrace.

Some guys on here can be real fucking assholes.

If you say you're going to relocate/move to Virginia in a couple of months or whatever, how about you message me when you're actually here.

A lot of people say they're moving, but a few months turn into a long long long time.

I don't mind making friends and talking to people outside of Virginia, but if you're going to just throw that out there, then message me when you actually do get to Virginia.

I could spend an unhealthy amount of time browsing on xvideos.

Yes.

I know I am a big girl.  You don't need to write me and tell me that like it's something I don't know.

I'm comfortable with who and what I am.  If that is a problem with you, then don't bother.

What I Have Learned on Here (So Far...)

1.  I am a slut and a whore for being on this site, according to some people.

2.  It's clear that most of the fakers on here have never seen Catfish.  

3.  Some people are so stupid as to put up pictures of porn stars or adult models who are well known enough to get a ton of hits on image searches.

4.  A "Normal" conversation on here means masturbating and asking rude questions to total strangers.

5.  It's not uncommon to receive a death and/or rape threat at least once a month.

6.  If you don't like giving your contact info out to random strangers who just ask for it, without even starting a conversation, you're a fake.

7.  No really means YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES.

8.  Most people would rather not read a person's profile, and instead just send out a generic message to someone.

9.  An "acceptable" greeting is to patronize and insult someone.

10.  Being straight might come across as being bisexual to others.

Just a word of advice...

Don't send a message to a girl along the lines of her having an ass of an underage girl.  It's a little bit creepy.

I'm beginning to question the point of me being on here.

Believe it or not, I don't want to cam/cyber/phone/fuck you right now because I'm on a site for fetish and kink minded adults.

I don't get the whole randomly adding to favorites/admirers thing when they never send a message to me.

Random Thoughts From My Time Here So Far...

1.  How does one become an expert in Clubbing?  

2.  Do most of these people know how to act in real life?

3.  When you say you've been a Dominant since you were thirteen, I say bullshit.

4.  Am I supposed to be aroused when someone sends a rude message?

5.  How much Real-Life experience do some of these "Dominants" have?