What I'm not looking for (sorry folks):

I don't want to be your "dirty secret". I've just had one of those, and he's great and still one of my best friends, but it hurt a lot of people and basically kind of sucked most days except the ones I actually got to see him on borrowed time.

I don't want you to be under 30 or over 50. I'm not a cougar (or puma) looking for a cub. And I'm also not looking to date anyone my mother's age (she is 55). I know that leaves me a very small margin to work with, but I'm willing to take that chance.

I AM open to "open relationships" and "polyamory" because I believe it is completely different than cheating when all parties involved are in the know. I however, personally tend to hover towards monogamy (though if I change my mind - would at least be able to have the discussion without animosity or judgement).

I am seeking a Dominant or Alpha. I am aware that a lot of people "think" they are these things, but in the past I have had very negative experiences in this, in which suitors are so eager to get to sex and to D/s they seem to forget the excitement of a good slow build and savor the sexual tension and the energy that can be found between someone who is submissive and someone who is Dominant. I had it with my former, I also have it with a good friend of mine (but who alas lives too far away and is also previously spoken for) so I know what it is I want when I sense it. There isn't really a need to beat me over the head with aggression nor is there a reason to feign indifference to "put me in my place". Just - act natural and soon enough it will be obvious if there is a natural power exchange.