Slave. Slavery. It’s such a loaded term, and for good reason. Human trafficking, ancient slavery and, sadly, modern slavery is abhorrent. Absolutely abhorrent.

No, in the world of FLRs, what I mean by iring to become Her slave is not what is often meant in some parts of the BDSM world.  To me it is to become devoted to Her, to surrender to Her 'limits', to do and become as She so wills. And it is my will, exercised every day, to do so.

So for me, to give up limits, to become Her slave is not to be weak. It is be completed by Her. It is to surrender my ego to Her, to not Her ego but to Her spirit. It is to serve Her, and in so doing to serve myself. It is a selflessness, but a selfish one.

And indeed 'slave' is such a loaded term that it makes us stand at attention. It wakes us up, even shocks us a bit, and indeed is intended to do so. For we, at least some of us, need to wake up, let go of old ideas, old patterns, ways of being. As in drama, or comedy, ideas are heightened to bring a kind of clarity.

But perhaps You ask “Why?’ Please understand that I do not advocate this for all, but for me. I do so because it is the next step on my path of personal development, the next step for leading an authentic life for me, the next step in my spiritual development.

Service to others is widely recognized as the deepest source of satisfaction, of fulfillment. Think Buddha. Jesus. The word ‘Islam’ itself means surrender, a spiritual surrender.

Surrender to who? To anyone who merely says that she is a ‘real’ Domme? No. Not for me. I must be worthy but She must be a temple, the temple at which I worship.

But still, ‘Why not keep my ‘limits’?” Well, at first, of course i will. Trust must be developed. But if I permanently retain limits (à la a sub), I reserve the ability at any time to say ‘No’ to this or to that. So I would really be in control, right? Except in those areas I ‘permit’ Her to be in control. Oh, like in the bedroom. This is the love slave, the sex slave fantasy of a 25 year old, not a grown up on a spiritual path.

Or maybe I could play the soft limit/hard limit game. I will not do whatever my hard limits are (for me this was taking out the garbage - Ha ha), and ‘allow’ Her to tease me (ideally sexually), to ‘push’ my limits, ideally by seduction, in exchange. So, who’s in charge, really? That is not an FLR, but play, a mere bedroom game.

But “Why surrender to Her at all? Why not be Her equal partner and together make decisions, make mature compromises and forge ahead?” Well, because that would be living a lie. I will not be Her equal partner because in what matters so much -- life direction -- I am not equal to Her. “Oh, you have a self esteem issue?” No, quite the opposite. I value myself highly. I am in every way ‘worthy’ and some evidence of that is that She has taken me as Hers.

“So, then why ‘surrender’ to Her?” Because it serves me, just as I serve Her. “How so?” Remember, I am not surrendering to anyone ‘dominant.’ But to She to whom I choose to surrender. And what am I surrendering? Old ways. Ego. Control. Surrendering things that I now see as trivial in comparison to a living a life of purpose, devotion and love. I'm letting go of all the junk, rebooting -- recreating -- my program. Surrendering all that because it didn't work, didn't work for me. To create the kind of connection, deep connection, devotional, rapturous, romantic love I seek.

Because when I am in charge of a relationship, I miss things, the important things. I get distracted by things that don't truly matter. Things, ego, old ways of being that I've seen in life, on tv, in the movies, these haven't worked for me to create a life I love. But such a life I can have, live, with . . . Her.

Take a step back. Take a man and a woman who are in the ‘same league’ so to speak, in terms of education and personal development. In general, who is the more mature of the two? Who more wise? Who more self aware? More in tune with the emotions both of the other and the person himself. More conscious? Spiritual?

It’s often the woma