So, I sent this to another member, but I think it gives good insight into my psyche.  I cannot emphasize enough that I'm willing to try [nearly] anything, but I think that what drives me is fear of disappointing others.  I lead in my vanilla life because failing others bothers me - so I run my life in such a way that I mostly succeed.  A lot of my secret desire to be used, punished, and humiliated probably stems from the pressure I put on myself in everyday life...its like an escape valve.

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Like most people, I was drawn to the straight dominatrix idea at first.  A woman, all leathered up, and holding a riding crop really excited me in high school.  Its not the kind of thing you really bring up with your high school girlfriend though, so the idea just festered for a while.  Plus, I didn't accept this part of myself because I'm fairly normal guy who also enjoys vanilla relationships very much.

As time moved forward, I began to fantasize more and more -- not about a dominatrix in a dungeon, but about women in positions of authority taking control of me...bosses, nurses, teachers, etc.  Women that had power and were disappointed or angry with me in some way.  Often times there would be yelling or lectures in these fantasies, then I would punished and finally they would assert their dominance over me by taking me anally.  Sometimes they would forgive me, and sometimes they would just threaten further punishment.  Sometimes the punishment would be chastity, sometimes a spanking/whipping, and sometimes they would be more creative.

I think the common theme is that it wasn't always the "traditional" slave/master (although that sounds like fun) -- it was that I had somehow failed/angered a traditionally feminine woman in power who decided that she had had enough.

So anyway, that's kind of my "inner soul" fantasy for what its worth.  Hope you enjoyed it.