I'm an intellectual, affluent, lucky, blessed with a wonderful life.  I can't complain about my circumstances, and I've helped those in much more dire straits before.  There is no lying to myself that I am a very fortunate human being.

Yet I can't help but feel swallowed by the waves.  I feel swept away in a spiral, wondering which way is up.  Am I more feminine than masculine?  Does it matter?  Do I want to try to go further in one direction?  I feel either direction is a damned if you do, damned if you don't.  Is it okay to be myself, and who am I really?

That is never a burden I would want to put on someone else, and so I don't.  I keep it hidden, keep it safe in my heart and mind.  Never opening it up so it will never have the chance to bother anyone.  Maybe my concern is the greatest enemy I have.  Maybe all I need to do is just stop worrying and start taking a stand.

It could be I am just silly and too introspective for my own good, but I can never seem to convince myself.

I guess Maslow is looking down at me and telling me how lucky I am to have the opportunity to be struggling over self-actualization and not food/shelter.  That brings a bit of comfort, and sadness.  Maybe the best result of it all, is it lets me remember those that need more than I, so I will never forget them.