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| I'd like to develop a LTR with a dominant male or female. Ideally, we'd become a couple, discreet in public, but there would be no doubt who was in charge behind closed doors. The exploration of power-exchange sex at this point in my life is something that I would like to experience, to better know myself and to know if the fantasies that I have to serve are really who I want to be. To find that out, I need a dominant friend and lover. Who will that be? I'll be more than happy to provide a picture once an email connection has been established.
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My sexuality is not what one would consider normal, or even practical. I have a strong interest in submission, at least when it relates to sexual activity. Having said that, I haven't truely experienced that role for any extended period of time, so I don't know how I would really respond to it if I were actually in that situation. All I know is that the thought of such produces much sexual energy in my mind and, associatively, in my body.
I also have a strong attraction to a serving a dominant male, yet I have not interest in a romantic relationship with a man. Any romantic interest that I have is exclusively to that of a woman.
The combination of those two conflicting interests have, I've come to believe, been the driving force in my interest in cuckoldry. And because of those interests, any engagement in such activity in the past with the woman in my life at that time resulted in the loss of that woman in my life. Which was never something that I wanted. So, I'm in a place where the sexual complexity of me has led to the engagement of self-destructive behavior. That is, I've lost women in my life that I truly loved, because of my sexual interest.
I've spent some time in counseling about that behavior, and that resulted in the labeling of that behavior as sexually addictive. The behavior resulted in great levels of shame. So, I'm trying to learn how to accept the me that I am, sexually speaking. The other option is to simply fast from such behavior. That might be the best option if I want to have a "normal" relationship with an attractive woman. The only problem with that is that isn't much fun....so here I am. |
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I come to this site on a somewhat regular basis. I've lived a vanilla life for the most part, but I've always had these fantasies of submission that go back as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, I used to dream about being held captive. And as I grew older, these fantasies fueled my sexual energy. But I was like any young male in that I didn't need that much to fuel my libido. And so, I entered into vanilla relationships that lasted for several years. As time went by, and my sexual energy that was fueled through conservative sexual practices waned, I explored other activities. I developed an interest in serving as a cuckold, and tried to convince my wife at that time that was a lifestyle that I wanted to explore. It created a lot of heat for both of us in the bedroom. And that heat, lead to further progressive activities, and eventually into actually bringing a third party into our sexual life. That always ended badly.
So, at this point in my life, I'm trying to reverse engineer things. That is, finding an attractive person with similar interests and exploring a relationship from that perspective, with the sexual interests already out on the table. The goal, ideally, would be to find someone to share similar interests with, and hopefully develop a loving, long-term relationship. This is what I seek, this is why I'm here. Hopefully, some honest, good person, with the desire to control and dominate another in a loving, caring, but firm way, is out there. Hopefully, we will find one another... |
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