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| I feel like I am coming out of the closet. I have struggled with my sexuality my entire life. I have always been submissive, and I have always had the emotions of a female. i cry easily, and i am very sensitive and nurturing. i actually relate to the emotions of the typical female more than the boorish, cold nature of most males. i am naturally thin, but because society has taught me that a real man is strong, i have struggled my whole life to build muscle. i am currently 180 pounds, but i eat 5 or 6 times a day, and i lift weights. i know that if i ate 3 times a day and replaced my weight training with aerobics, i could be 160 with a small waist and ass. i shaved my whole body years ago to see how i would look and feel, and it was amazing. i found myself applying lotions and powders to my skin to keep it soft. For the first time in my life, i felt extremely feminine and, more importantly, i felt totally comfortable with it. However, i went back to the reality of my world, and haven't shaved since.
i am not sure what i am seeking on here, but i do know that, when i close my eyes at night, i imagine living in a place where i am the one who cooks, cleans, does the laundry, the shopping, and submits totally in the bedroom. yes, sex is definitely a part of this, but not everything. i think i would be happiest in a 1 on 1 relationship, but i am openminded enough to at least explore other types of arrangements. i am 52, so i am a little late to the table. But, i promise you that i do not look my age at all. i still have all my hair, no gut, a hint of gray which can be dyed ( or covered with a wig perhaps?) i have fantasized about breast implants, but that may just be fantasy. If anyone out there would like to chat, i welcome all to respond. i am very private and not willing to jump into something, so if you are in a hurry to meet someone, i may not be the one for you.
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