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The journal spells it out best...random thoughts that I write and then should delete, but I leave them because they are a good snapshot of my thoughts. Basically, I think I am a sissy. I adore women, but I am totally afraid of them. I am weak-willed and just want to make them happy and do what they tell me. I have worn panties, and kind of liked it....actually I really like it. I have a very small endowment. An ex (who cheated on me) left a pair of panties behind...most likely on purpose. I put them on and here I am. Sometimes I kneel in the corner of the room in panties and imagine my womanMistress out on the town with real men. I am obsessed with breasts....so obsessed that they also scare me. I think about being teased by them and denied being able to touch them because they are for real men only. I try to deny myself orgasm as long as I can....but have always had very little control. I never lasted very long with women. Most women I have been with simply tolerated me for a while because I provided a good lifestyle, then cheated or left, or both. For lack of a better term, I am just a little pussy. Perhaps that is the perfect term, because that is what I long for, yet will likely never have. And I cant think of a more emasculating thing to call a guy, yet it makes my lil thing stiff to be called it. I am a pussy. Please message me if you would like to know more. Thank you for reading.
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I spent some time thinking, "what is the deal with this censored beta porn?". It didn't take long for me to realize that this type of "porn" is really all I should be looking at. |
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I feel so small today, in every sense of the word. It is getting worse, this feeling of inadequacy. I feel like begging every woman i see to laugh at me, smack my pathetic wee wee and make me gently kiss their feet and asses. |
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Happy Valentine's Day to....my panties. You are who i snuggle up to at night and keep me warm. You are who keep me in my place, where i should be, and remind me of who i am. |
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Inspired by a few conversations recently...i think i belong in domestic service. Maybe as a maid, but maybe as just a pussified male who is cucked. Let me think....yep, that's it...a cuckolded pussymaid. |
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I feel like i need discipline...not just in the sense of life activities, but real discipline. Like I need to be spanked..HARD. Because i love women, and i see them everywhere, and look at them inappropriately. And a loser pussydick should not do that, and be spanked until i cry, and then spanked some more for crying and being such a pussy about it. I am weak, so weak... |
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I think it is official...i have a hair trigger. I saw the most beautiful woman today, and despite my best efforts, i had an accident in my pants. To my defense I had been abstaining from orgasm for several days, but wow, i feel pathetic. |
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To the unsuspecting I am a man...in every sense of the word. Masculine appearance, demeanor, etc. I even have a job too difficult for a regular guy. But despite my body, my strength, my persona....inside i quiver at even the sight of a beautiful woman. I know i am incapable of pleasing her. I get weak, feel ashamed, and only want to be of some kind of amusement or service. I know i am moldable, pliable, and not much of a challenge to anyone. And the fact that i know all this and am still here humiliates me even more, which, in turn, fuels this even more. Where is the woman who will exploit these things about me, but not exploit me and actually like me and love me? I have so much to give... |
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Went to a bar tonight.. A lot of women were there....felt very good, like I might talk to a few. As the night went on, I noticed that more and more bigger guys started coming in. It was very racially mixed, but all of them were big, and they all had so much confidence. No women even looked at me. I started feeling smaller and smaller. I eventually went home and put my panties on and here I am now online. |
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| Age: 26 |
| Washington DC,
Washington D.C. |
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