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takeme4everSir

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The mental and physical aspects... go hand-in-hand for me... I need them both, crave them both... and cannot imagine one without the other..... submission wasn't a choice I woke up one day and made... my submission has always been a part of me... and it will always be... I may not understand some of the things I feel, crave, or need, but I embrace them... and I love what I am... always growing, always learning... and driven forward by my own curiosity.... I welcome new friends and good conversation...

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11/28/2012 12:00:56 PM

At the edge of the woods there is a path... follow the path and it will fork... therin at that fork one must make a decision...the path to the left is well known, and filled with the expected.  The path to the right, goes deeply into the heart of the woods, it is dark, and completely unknown....   at that fork a decision is made, if the right path is chosen, it will be the last decision one ever needs to make...


11/26/2012 11:51:13 AM

With each passing day, what I feel for my Master deepens. He is my world, and I continue to absorb all He gives to me like a sponge. Eagerly I await each day with anticipation for Him to tell me to come to Him. He is all the sustenance I need.


11/21/2012 6:41:30 PM

Even now I thirst

My cup is filled, yet I yearn for more

Shall I beg? Plead? For only you can satiate this need.

So I beg, wet my lips

You kiss me, yet I hunger for more

Shall I fall to my knees? Crawl? For only you can quell this ache

I fall to my knees, take me

I am yours, yet I lust for more

Shall I whisper my surrender?  Bare my soul?  For only you can claim my submission.


11/21/2012 7:31:41 AM

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL!!!

 

It’s the day before Thanksgiving, so I feel the need to begin my journal entry with giving thanks.  Giving thanks is something I practice on a daily basis.  I do this for many reasons, I never want to take for granted what I have been given, I want to say all I have is appreciated, I want to stay humble and down to earth, but also in times when life isn’t so easy, when bad things happen, it is very easy to be sucked down into the very pit of despair, which if focused on for too long has detrimental consequences.  So, I choose to look around, someone somewhere is going through a more difficult times than I am, so who am I to feel sorry for myself, that would be selfish indeed.  If I just take a few minutes each day to reflect on the good things, all the things that do go right, then I find I always have much to be thankful for.  It is the little things in life, which are most precious.  This year, I am especially thankful that Master B is a part of my life, and that I belong to Him.  He is the end to my search, and the beginning of my journey.  He is my “infinity”.


11/15/2012 10:33:31 AM

I absolutely love it when I discover a new revelation!  When that light bulb turns on and an entirely new perception or realization is brought to the surface.  BDSM is very different for each of us... that is the wonderful thing about it, we can custom design it to fit the needs, desires, and wants of the individuals involved.  What I find so beautiful about it is the give and take that lies just below the surface.  Without a doubt all I want is to make Him happy, and by doing that, I am Happy and completely fulfilled.  Where the underlying give and take comes in to play, is when you know there is a need or desire... and you want more than anything to fill that need for the other... no matter what it is... the need to fulfill His need becomes a need of your own, and when you discover that He also wants to ensure your needs are met, it completes the circle and it is realized the relationship has limitless possibilities.... :-) 


11/13/2012 7:42:52 AM

I now vividly feel the transformation I am undergoing, knowing there is more to follow once I am physically in His possession.  These subtle changes I now feel radiate throughout my entire being bringing me contentment.  I question each of my actions to ensure I am always doing things that would please Him, I have always held myself to high expectations but now I hold myself accountable to His expectations, knowing all I do is a reflection of Him.  Not only do I love, respect, and adore Him as my Master, but I love, respect, and adore Him as a man.  His integrity, sincerity, and morals are His mantra… He is a man of great substance and virtue, a most admirable quality.  I am humbled beyond words to be His; I belong to Him just as the stars belong in the heaven.  I shall continue to awake each morning, and fall asleep each night giving thanks for Him and what we have together. 


11/12/2012 12:41:47 PM

I try to keep my posts to one a day, but sometimes life keeps us busy and it will be days before I can release my thoughts.  I do try to reply in kind to messages that have substance, as it is the right thing to do.  I was compelled to make a second entry today, the intent of my journal is a freedom given to me by my Master so that I may express my growth, and what I feel and express my eternal devotion to Him.  I feel such a sense of peace being His, and somehow it has opened floodgates and my thoughts flow with great intensity.  But, for this brief moment, I would like to say thank you to those who have sent sincere and thoughtful messages to me.  I am moved by your kindness and just needed to say thank you! 


11/12/2012 7:37:39 AM

Now with my submission uninhibited, I now feel the exuberance of my passion unfurling.  I’m finding passion is a driving force of its own, paired with any other emotion or trait, submission, love, lust, etc… amplifying that emotion tenfold.  My actions alone shall stand as testimony to the devotion, respect, and love I have for my Master.  Who could ever want for anything more, when one gives unconditionally from the very depth of their soul.  I take my vow of total surrender as a sacred utterance, abiding by His will and used for His sole purpose. With Him I am complete.  


11/11/2012 12:11:41 PM

Happy Veterans Day! ... May each of you know how very much appreciated you are! Thoughts today for those who have family members who paid the ultimate sacrifice and a special blessing for those veterans who are still with us and have sacrificed a part of themselves in serving their country... some who suffer in silence with memories that have become a part of their everyday life... May God bring you comfort... and may you feel the thankfulness from mankind.


11/7/2012 3:26:43 PM

One of the most difficult things to let go of is "Pride" not the selfish kind of pride, but the pride which comes from an inner strength constantly screaming shame on you if you ever admit you might need a little help, even if it is merely advice. 


11/7/2012 6:16:25 AM

I was unable to sleep, awoke at 4 a.m., so I took a shower and headed for the office, nothing like an early start, right?  You really can get a lot done when your phone isn't ringing though.  One of the girls at the office gave me an early birthday present... I nearly choked on sheer air alone when I opened the package and was holding a book... 50 Shades of Grey...  for the briefest of moments I looked up thinking, omg... they know, lol.  But, it boiled down to those who know me, know I enjoy reading so it was a coincidence.  I've heard both good and bad reviews of the book, I suppose I will now get to make my own assumptions.  I rather enjoyed the old Anne Rice books, so we shall see.


11/6/2012 8:21:17 PM

Amidst the silence where nothing is heard, even my thoughts have nary a word.

A voice without sound, a world without color

Lost amongst this sorrowful place, wanders a spirit without a face

Searching through eternity, two souls wander aimlessly

A brief encounter, a passing glance,

Could it be just happenstance?


11/6/2012 2:22:24 PM

I stopped by the store before coming home, and realized they were playing Christmas songs over the store speakers.... if that won't make their sales climb from the baking aisle alone I don't know what will... For now, I'm pushing thoughts of Christmas aside and looking forward to Thanksgiving. I have someone very special in my life now for which I am especially thankful for! I realized today how the mere thought of Him keeps me centered. Most take coffee breaks at work, lately I find myself taking "Master" breaks... as my mind drifts off to thoughts of him. I have learned so much on my own before Master B collared me, but one can only get to a certain point through research, reading and limited experience. I am at the brink now of new discoveries a most intoxicating experience. Can one ever be too passionate? or enthusiastic? I certainly hope not or I am doomed. Words can only carry one so far, I cannot wait for the day when I can show Him through my actions the respect and adoration I have already said in words.


11/6/2012 6:25:19 AM

  Constantly in awe of His dominance and control, striving to always be a slave worthy of His collar.  His dominance could be loving, rough, evil, stern, spontaneous, caring, or none of the above; it is His to define, as it should be, and I shall always abide.  I crave His guidance, and control.  I am eager to begin my training, I know it may be difficult, punishments may be severe, limits will be pushed, and my devotion shall be tested.  There will be moments of wondrous pleasure and times of complete torture, and I want and need it all.  He will control all of me, deciding when I may have pleasure and when I shall have pain and every combination thereof.  The intensity of sensations and emotions felt during sensual torture. The sheer raw desire of wanting that ultimate release and having it denied or prolonged, begging Him for release.  The profound mixture of fear, susceptibility, and the innate need to please combine as He holds a paddle, cane or instrument of His choice in His hands.  As limits are pushed, and the barriers of tolerance approach, my weakness  revealed and that threshold is reached, it is in that moment of vulnerability He sees His slave in her entirety.  Through these moments of torture, repletion is found.  It is bittersweet between what I may not like when being implemented, but I know I need it, want it, because in those moments I am giving myself entirely to Him, and afterwards when I am satiated and in His arms, knowing I have pleased Him, and feeling absolute knowing I belong to Him.  No matter the torture, left is a reminder letting me know I am His each time I feel or see the residuals of that moment.  Submission is not shown in doing the things we want to do, but rather doing the things we don't want to do.  There is a fine line between pain and pleasure, but finding that middle ground is amazing.


11/1/2012 9:48:29 AM

Finding this exceptional connection has been phenomenal.  Never plateauing but ever soaring to new heights.  Thank you, Master B

Recently as I am certain is a common occurrence with a submissive, I felt this overwhelming sense of urgency to “hurry up and get there”.  That is the only way I can put what I felt into words.  (laughs) Hurry up and get where?  You ask… I had found what I wanted and couldn’t stand waiting to finally be together, and the anxiety I felt from this urgency was tremendous.  Add to that a few other emotions I felt, and I was no longer making any sense.  I was tasked by my Master to take a short break and just think about what we have and how far we have come in such a short time.  Ever wanting to be the obedient servant, I told Him I would.  Again, I learn another lesson… (grins) Master knows best. I knew what I felt, but I did need to really think about what we have and what my surrender truly entailed.  The little voice inside whispered, HE IS IN CONTROL, and I need not worry about these trivial things.  I reflected on every word we had spoken, and realized I should be savoring each moment as it comes and not try to fast forward into the future, but live in the moment.  As they say, Rome was not built in a day, and the same holds true for a relationship.  It is time for me to “stop” and let Him do what He knows is best for the one who belongs to Him.  Funny how I seem to keep learning this same basic concept over and over again… perhaps this time it shall sink in?  (smiles) I have much to learn…


10/31/2012 6:44:59 AM

The innate submission that defines who I am when asked about limits, wanted to naturally reply, I have no limits.  I recognized this as the depth of my willingness to serve unconditionally.  But the rationality reverberating in my mind would scream out my inhibitions.  I did have defined limits, and it frustrated me to know I did.  I am submissive with very strong slave tendencies, so I truly felt having limits wasn’t the way it should be.  I did not want to define limits to the one who owned me, how could I define limits and at the same time give to Him my total surrender and hand to Him the reigns of control, if I have limits, lines He cannot cross, then I have not truly surrendered all to Him and He does not have total control.  Again, I stilled these troubling thoughts by telling myself I would not be drawn to a Master unless there were compatibility factors and if that were the case then perhaps I would in fact not have limits.  I have surrendered all to Master B, and with each day that passes I feel myself letting go of those reigns of control.  In doing so with His guidance, I am overcoming the barriers that I so solidly laid because of past inferences.  Pride and fear shall no longer be obstacles in His path.  I must give to Him all or nothing, and I choose “ALL”.  Being in control all these years has been a weary task for me, it is a task He is more than capable of doing, and I am lovingly handing Him the reigns.  I can now say without reservations that I have no limits where He is concerned except for those which are His own.  I do not want to put limits on Him which would prevent Him from taking us to a place where we can soar.  I cannot begin to describe what an incredible feeling it is to place all my fears in His hands knowing He will dissolve that fear, and although difficult for me to do, I must let go of my pride and allow Him to take care of me, not because I cannot take care of myself, but because it is what pleases Him.


10/29/2012 9:45:14 AM

I have come to the conclusion that as the sun rises in the sky each morning… so shall I delight in his presence each day… and as the hours of the day pass those feelings will only increase until they are re-energized the very next morning.

The expression of feeling safe and secure is spoken often, but the unfeigned meaning eluded me.  I could not wrap my arms around the actual meaning.  I was inept in thinking it meant being with someone physically strong, and although that is a variable there is so much more in that simple phrase.

I am overcome with the euphoric excitement I feel at each new discovery.  Again, I only can speak of my own feelings and thoughts, and know we are all very different so for each the definition will vary.  I now feel utterly safe and secure with my Master, and for me it is that I feel without a doubt that I can put all of me in His hands and relax my mind for the first time ever.  The tiniest worry is erased because I know He is in control now, and through His guidance all will be well.  I cannot thank Him enough for yet another gift He has bestowed upon me… the ability to revel in the safety and security of His arms.


10/26/2012 7:07:32 AM

In the quiet of the morning, I have been sitting here reflecting on the past couple days.  I am still basking in the afterglow since the surrender of my submission.  It is said, submission is a gift when given, but I think it should be noted, as a submissive to be “chosen” is also a gift, and one to be treasured.  I am so humbled He “chose” me.  I catch myself touching my neck, knowing very soon His collar will be there.  He is the first to collar me, and hopefully the last.  It’s representation and meaning is very special to me… not taken lightly by any means.  Even more, He completes me, and I can feel the release of my submission coursing throughout my entire being.  That which I kept hidden, is now revealed to Him.  


10/25/2012 7:05:56 AM

Well... the entire journal entry I wrote this morning did not save... 

 

 


10/24/2012 12:55:39 PM

Master B..... (smiles)  I shall belong to you until time ceases to exist... or you no longer desire me......


10/24/2012 7:43:39 AM

Word for the day "Attain"

 

Definition:  To reach a point in time or a certain state; reaching a destination either real or abstract; to find unexpectantly.

 

To feel His presence when He is not physically with you, a connection has definately been "attained"......


10/21/2012 2:36:36 PM

To clarify, in my previous journal entry, I was not refering to myself as "the canvass" for all those who filled my message box to tell me that it was the "Dominants" job to create the "blank canvass" of His submissive...........

 

I do not have a Dominant, nor am I owned, I was just saying a positive attitude makes for a more pleasant day, whereas a negative attitude can spoil a day :-)

 

Besides (grinning) maybe I am not a canvass?  Maybe I think of myself as a lump of clay... waiting to be molded by Him....  actually... many think of themselves as a "blank canvass" or "a piece of clay"  waiting to be molded into the submissive their owner desires.....   so to be different, to have a sense of humor, to show I can have a nice twist of attitude....   I believe I shall think of myself as ..... thinking.... still thinking..... wait for it..... hmmmmm.... "oh bother" as winnie the pooh would say, there are sooooo many possibilities.  I could be cake batter?  or liquid jello?  they both taste good...  I could be "play dough" it is playful and colorful.  I could be liquid gold... or liquid silver... nahhh silver has to be polished.  I got it!!!  I shall just be "me"  


10/19/2012 6:35:50 AM

It is wonderful when you can wake up in the morning to a blank canvass, knowing at the end of the day... the canvass will no longer be blank, but will be a vision you created by the choices you make throughout the day.  It can either be a vision of beauty or it can be something that lacks substance, it all depends on how we paint our day :-)


10/15/2012 8:29:19 PM

Disquiet is my psyche that my thirst will not be quenched.

Unfeigned is my submission, real is my devotion

There can be no wavering from my search, confident that He will not abandon His quest.

His determination will drive Him, even as the scent of my desire beckons to His senses

He will seek to possess the treasure within, even in as much as He will want the flesh

Yes, He will evoke my submission and crusade for control

Once achieved, I shall bare my soul


10/11/2012 2:41:56 PM

Definately a long, long day.... I look forward to a hot bubble bath, soft music, and candles.  Closing my eyes... softly caressing my body with scented oil... the warm water taking my cares away... so tranquil and relaxing... (smiles)


10/10/2012 3:48:45 PM

One who is submissive, cannot help but feel compelled to be obedient to her Dominant, the urge within to not disappoint him is very strong... all this is natural.  But the more confident a Dominant is in his own will and in his purpose to see his vision through, the more bound the submissive becomes to comply and want that vision as well.


10/9/2012 12:51:58 PM

Much like a smoldering candle, someone comes along and lights the flame... but in a strong wind the flame quickly goes out, leaving the candle smoldering once again... another comes along and once again lights the flame... only this time, after lighting it, they pick it up... admire the amber flame for a moment, and realize a strong wind may come along and blow the flame out... so looking around they see a small cove amongst some rocks... and know this wind break will prevent the wind from blowing out the candles flame... so the candle is carefully set in it's recess... it's flame burns brightly... but again left unattended, it begins to rain... at first the flame still burns untouched by the falling rain... but as the rain splashes onto the rocks above, the water begins to trickle down and drip onto the flame... and once again the candle only smolders...but because the candle is nestled in the recess of the cove... it goes un-noticed... yet still it smolders...


10/8/2012 11:38:38 AM

Failing to catch me at first keep encouraged, Missing me one place search another, I stop somewhere waiting for you....    by Walt Whitman, Song of Myself

 

 

If you seek, you shall find... When you find, will you keep?  If you keep, will there come a time, when you shall say... You are MINE...    by silentm

 

 

 

 


10/7/2012 2:26:54 PM

When life gives you limes... make margaritas!!!    Seeeee, even in something negative, can we find something positive.... don't know about you, but I enjoy a margarita every once in awhile!


10/4/2012 2:44:55 PM

It hurt my feelings and made me feel bad when I was told I write here for the whole bdsm world to see.  Well, no one has to read my journal, it's not like I have a neon sign blinking, or am restraining people and forcing them to read what I write.... thats a funny thought! 

 

Yes, I know anyone can see this, and know my thoughts, feelings, and perspectives, but I will guarantee that when I am walking down the street, or browsing through the mall... people are not going to stop and point and say... that's her... that's the girl who tells the whole world how she feels... unless they happen to be claravoyant.

 

I have received some very good feed back, from some very nice people, and their feed back has added to my knowledge and understanding... I can and have written in my own private journals, and enjoy doing that, but my private journals don't talk back to me and tell me what they think..... (smiles) which is a good thing, otherwise I would be in a padded room somewhere.

 

I also believe that my journals will weed people out, it's like giving a glimpse of myself... one either likes it, or they don't. 

 

And for the Dominant who I will one day belong too... I have not by any means revealed everything... only glimpses and partial thoughts... when he browses through this mind... he will find endless areas that haven't even been touched upon...  those are being saved just for him:-)

 

 


10/2/2012 7:11:49 AM

I find it odd that in bdsm, which in my opinion is a much more indepth relationship, given the vulnerability factors with some of the fetishes, that even on line, the one place where you are not talking with your colleagues, or sitting in the local cafe where everyone knows you, there is such a lack of honesty and so much deceit. 

 

It is my own naive nature I suppose, to think that here, a person can bare their soul thinking that by doing that, the person you are talking with will get to know the real submissive you, that has to be hidden from the public.  I mean, you can be real here, without jeopardizing your career, this is the one place where you can say... hey I'm only looking to flirt, or I'm only looking for an affair, or I'm only wanting to have fun nothing serious.  Maybe not in the first few messages, but there should come a point where you should let the other person know your real intentions.  There is no reason to play games.  There are all types of personalities, and others who want the very same thing you do. 

 

But to tell someone you are looking for an eventual 24/7 relationship... something long term and have no intention of doing that is the coldest thing a person could do.  If that is you... please pass me by... I am submissive, I am not stupid.


9/23/2012 11:29:46 AM

9/20/2012 1:55:35 PM:

Definately too much work and not enough play... and that would explain the erotic dreams I have been having... must be my subconscious trying to tell me something (smiles).... but it really needs to be talking to my bosses not to me, I am already fully aware of this fact, lol.

 

A relaxing thought... to be on a high bluff with a spectacular view as far as the eye can see, the sound of a not so distant waterfall, a gentle breeze blows carrying the scent of honeysuckle, and I'm sitting on a blanket with a glass of wine admiring "him" as he stands a few feet away with his back to me taking in the view... the serenity, and the fact that no one else is around for miles... his mind begins conjouring up some yummy ideas.... then he turns.... our eyes meet, and a smile crosses his face as he walks towards me... I am unable to take my eyes off of him... but suddenly feeling shy I look down... he approaches, leans over and takes my chin in his hand, turns my face up towards him... I smile... he smiles.... and he says.................

 

 

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9/14/2012 8:51:13 AM:

Good Morning. I sure am loving these Autumn days... bonfire season is upon us (smiles).

 

 

I do have a playful side... life is too short not to have fun. I welcome adventure, relish the quiet moments, and love the surprise of spontinuity. My curious nature leaves no rock unturned. Yep, sometimes I do turn over the wrong rock and get bit... but thats life and an opportunity to learn a lesson.

 

 

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9/11/2012 8:36:16 AM:

This has been and will continue to be a very busy week for me, but even working some long hours... my mind still wanders and my thoughts continue to pull me in this direction. I think it is more prevelent in bdsm, and not saying it can't exist in the vanilla world, but as a submissive feeling that "sensory overload" is beyond words. It is intoxicating actually, to have so many senses and feelings stimulated simultaneously. It reminds me of the first time I repelled, it was a long hike up the mountain, and I was so excited, couldn't wait to get to the cliff edge we were going to jump from, once I got there and hooked up, I walked to the edge and looked down, and fear totally enveloped me an I thought there is no way... I turned to my friends and said I can't do this... the leader said ok... I will unhook you and you can walk back down... I walked over and looked at the trail I had so easily climbed and saw just how steep it was... and realized going back down that trail wasn't going to be as easy as climbing up... so I said... I can't go back down that trail... he said, well I guess that means your gonna have to jump... so back on the edge I went... and I pushed off. When I got to the bottom, the adrenaline rush was so intense, I couldn't climb back up fast enough to jump again! The rush of all those feelings was exhillerating!

 

To be in a Masters presence and feel a touch of fear, brought on by the vulnerability coursing through your body, and the building desire, is just that... exhillerating. It is the vulnerability that feeling of being susceptible to him that you try to ward off, to fight, yet you want it, need it and he knows it... and when you see that slow smile cross his face... you know, that he knows you are exactly where he wants you... and at that moment you realize he has all the control... and you are vulnerable to his desires....

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9/9/2012 10:05:35 AM:

Good Morning :-) I know it is getting old, but I can't help to comment on another gorgeous morning.... I am not looking forward to returning to work tomorrow :-( I would like to say, I appreciate the comments I have received from my postings. Everyone has been polite, your comments give me "food for thought".

 

When asked my limits, I've always hesitated, I really hate that question, but I do understand why it is asked. It is a way of making sure the person you are talking to doesn't dislike something that you have to have. But, I want to always answer, my limits would be those of my Masters... but then you get the comment: "so if your Master asked you to eat sh** then you would?" I want to roll my eyes.... so obviously everyone has some kind of limit, but I also think of it this way... a Dominant and submissive get to know one another... if there is a connection then it may lead to a commitment of ownership... who would submit to someone if they didn't know them well enough to know this person is not going to command them to do something that they couldn't do.... another point to my thought is, limits can be pushed... so what you may think you wouldn't do, may become your favorite fetish... something you have done with one person, you may like better with another person... I have a most curious nature, and I like to try new things... I think each relationship is different and will encompass different rules, different preferences it just depends on the two people connected...

 


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Mistress2clean4
 
 Age: 23
 Vancouver, Canada