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SweetgirlNJ

SweetgirlNJ

SweetgirlNJ - photo 1

Friends:
IanBlackalinaBlack
lovingdomd
Kabalachai
domfornaughtysub
I dont regret the things Ive done, I regret the things I didnt do when I had the chance.The mind is the most powerful sex organ known to man. Respect and understand the woman, desire and tease the slut, nurture and love the little girl. Do one thing everyday that scares you. -- Eleanor Roosevelt

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As time has passed and I have learned more about myself and my needs, Ive come to realize that I am a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. It just doesnt work.I continue to evolve as I follow this amazing journey of self-discovery while identifying who I am. I am submissive but independent and strong willed. I love being Daddys little one. I love to cuddle, hug, color with crayons and hold a teddy but I dont play with many toys or suck my thumb. Im terrified in thunder and lightning storms but snakes dont bother me. I will follow orders but demand respect. I want to be dominated and controlled by His mind and experience. I am playful, funny, bratty and silly as well as sexy, slutty, sensual and coy.

I have many questions but very few answers. It gets overwhelming, even exasperating at times. Why does this have to be so complicated? Why do so many people want to play games? Why does it have to be so scary? What do I really want? What do I really need? What will make me happy?The questions go on and on. To complicate this further, I dont know where or how to get all of the answers. Who can I trust? And, why would they want to help me?

I was divorced in 2011 and as time passes, I am able to express myself more and more. I continue to find myself interested, curious, aroused, excited, still a little scared, titillated and increasingly eager to explore and experiment sexually.

I often feel like a kid in a candy shop that has been told I can have as much as I want and anything that I want. Its an amazing emotion to experience. Ive lived most of my life feeling sheltered and reserved. I now want to see what else is out there and how much I have missed. I have enjoyed the candy I have tasted, but also felt a little scared about the unknown and have wanted to take this one step at a time. (Too much candy can give a girl a tummy ache.) I recognize (though I fight it) that I need guidance and rules to keep me safe and healthy.

I have spent hours of time educating myself, talking, meeting with people and realizing some of my desires. I came to some realizations...I have been afraid to let my guard down and show my weaknesses. I was afraid to take the next steps. To fully explore the unknown. I have met people that I trust but not enough to expose my fears. To trust that they will protect me no matter what is a leap of faith that I feel needs to be made in order to grow. I want to dig deeper and learn more about myself, but I cant do that alone. For the past few years, I have been sharing a small amount of who I am. Its time to graduate to the next level and move on. Im not sure how to do that or who I can trust to guide me through some of these darkened and un-chartered hallways but Id like to try.

It needs to be said that although I am still finding my footing, I am a strong, capable and intelligent woman who is very romantic, sensual and sexual. I have a naturally dominating personality and I CHOOSE to submit. I dont feel incomplete without submitting to a Dom or a Master and I am able to take care of myself. The Little Girl in me that needs a DaddyDom is quiet, (at times) unsure and in need of Your guidance, Your love, Your acceptance and Your tenderness. The woman in me needs Your masculinity, Your strength, Your authority and Your confidence. In return, I will offer (in no particular order) my love, trust, passion and submission.

I havent determined if I agree with these scores but here is my ranking from bdsmtest.org...

100 Submissive - 89 BoyGirl - 75 Bondage Receiver - 73 Ageplayer - 70 Masochist - 70 Slave - 70 Brat - 65 Degradation Receiver - 59 Exhibitionist - 58 Primal (Prey) - 52 Pet - 46 Voyeur - 20 Vanilla -
5 Switch - 1 Primal (Predator)

To those of you who have been generous with your advice and friendship, I thank you and appreciate all you have offered to me. Life is short, break the rules. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that makes you smile. -- Mark Twain
Missing Your Collar....
I woke up this morning wanting to feel you buckle your collar around my neck.
I miss the feeling of submitting to you and being under your control.
I miss kneeling before you and feeling your hard cock as it glides down my throat and I gag for you.
I miss when you strap on the ankle and wrist cuffs and I fall deeper into your hold.
I miss the sting of your belt or hand as you mark my bottom red.
I miss the pinch of those metal clamps as they squeeze my nipples so tight.
I miss your eyes staring into mine as you pump me hard.
I miss the feel of your lips as you passionately kiss me and assure me that everything is alright.
I miss your strong arms holding me tight and keeping me safe.
I miss you.
Respect is earned. Honesty is appreciated. Trust is gained. Loyalty is returned.

Your Little One
So many things she wants
Things she can't have
Things she desires
Things she craves
Feelings she longs for
Afraid to share
Fearful of your reaction
It's irrational...illogical
Love

"To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing."

Hiding in the Shadows…
I’m hiding in the shadows and can’t tell you why
You’ve been trying to lure me out.
Yet, we are more alike than either of us want to admit
You and I.
Hiding in the shadows.
Sharing only bits and pieces of ourselves.
It’s Inherent in who we are
Pushing away those we love. Hurting others.
Hiding in the shadows.
The feelings are real but words can’t express how you make me feel.


Why do men feel that it's okay to lie or "bend the truth"? Is  that really how you earn someone's trust?  It may be a game to some of you but to me it's my life and I'm tired of being played.

 

Who Am I?

A woman? A little girl?  A slut?  A lover?  A sub?
What do you want? What do I want? Who should I be?
Strong at times but timid too.
Passionate. Hot. Obedient.  Revealing.
I am all. I am me.