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The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

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Pan Female Submissive, 25,  Seattle, Washington
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Recycled slavesub, eager but experience but trying to get more with someone who knows i am feeling a little insecure and a little scared to go into a new situation.

Still hurting from being kicked out of Master Ricks poly. i know what hes been telling people, it was not because i left voluntarily, His wife couldnt take having me there anymore.

i am no longer totally new here and i still dont really know what to write. i am into light to heavy bondage and want to experience more control and at least private humiliation... Maybe some public. i amnot into drugs or branding or being cut with knifes.

im into music, almost any kind, and i love going to movies and reading. i am kind of a homebody but have attendedcommunity college and work full time. i live with three other girls and just moved in here (July 22, 2017) two are revivalist Christian and were reluctant to let me stay (meaning i can talk to people, but our walls are thin so phone sex is out when people are here).

i have tried bondage and king. i am really oral and into eye contract restrictions and behavior control. i have a serious hypno fetish and want more if youre who knows about it. If you are doing or know Xaxisgirl here on CS, hit me up.

i am not sure if i want 247 right away, i just got out of one (was kicked out of one) and am still getting over it but i do want to explore so hit me up and tell me what you are into and if you are looking for someone like me.


Oh,hey, i wont ever ask for money to visit or for anything unless we get together permanently, thats not me.

hey- footnote - OMG i am not into the idea of sex with dogs at this time - ok?? do people really do that??? i am on here like an hour and this has come up 8 times !

Ination update

i have been asked about my background a bunch of times so i am going to share the general ination here. i am an army brat. my dad was in the Army all of my life and my mom still is. They divorced when i was 12 and dad got custody because his work made him less likely to be deployed away from base and he was closer to retirement. we moved up here after the divorce.

i have lived onthree different bases in my life because my dad said we didnt need the expense of living off base, but he really just thought that it was better to have his buddies able to watch what we were doing and report back to him.

yes, people on here have pointed out that i was raised in a male oriented world with a controlling micromanaging father and a mother who supported the male superiority mindset...and i agree, ok. i do think that it is natural for a girl to need her boundaries and her limits and her structure set by a man. 100,000 years of human evolution have supported this idea. i know i am making some girls on here mad at me but everything i have seen every relationship i have seen that was happy and healthy where both people actually respected each other there was a strong man and a woman who submitted to one degree or another. there are relationships where women are the strong one, but from what i have watched somewhere along the line she stops respecting him sooner or later than then it goes to hell.

i just dont want to have to work this out with someone, i want to start from there and go.

as i spend more time on here and talking to people and carefully meeting with some i am learning serveral things

1. i do not think any men my age really understand dominance...any boys my age. they all seem to think that just being pushy or wanting to tell me what a bitch i am is dominating me.

2. there is just no way in hell i am moving across the country to someone i just had one chat with. it just doesnt make any sense

3. for me CMCS is like any relationship site. the point is to get to know someone who matches your interests and fits you and who you fit and then to meet them...see if you are comfortable and then go from there to something more permenant a domsub relationship is like a marriage, even if there is no legal marriage, and hopefully what i am looking for will be just as important to the dom i find and just as lasting.

i feel more comfortable on the floor when i am around strong men...and that i am excited by doing things that make me a little being naked around people i dont know.

so if i havent put you to sleep and if you are still interested in me and you are older than 25 and younger than decrepit, then lets talk

August update
Added new verification picture and I have a tip Dont use old Crayola markers to write on your skin! They only LOOK like they washed off, but if you then go into the sun they block your tan and the words appear!!!













 Submissive Female



 Willing to Relocate

 5' 3"

 118 lbs






Actively Seeking:

Dominant Transgender

Dominant Female

Dominant Male

Switch Female

Switch Male

Domme/Dom Couples

Female Led Couples

Male Dom Couples

Online Romance

A Poly Household

 Lives For:


 Sensation Play



 Shopping (Expert)








 Erotic Hypnosis

 Hair Pulling


 Mental Bondage

 Obedience Training



 Eye Contact Restrictions





 Curious About:





 G-spot Stimulation


 Modern Primitivism

 Orgasm Control

 Outdoor Bondage

 Plastic Wrap Bondage

 Pony/Puppy Roleplay

 Sensory Play

 Suspension Bondage



 Feng Shui





 Horse Racing

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Journal Entries:
6/2/2023 3:54:55 AM

Okay, series of real quick updates. 

I'm living in Lansing michigan, this is where my poly ended.  The Polly ran from 2017 until 2021. I should have put that in my earlier update. The last 2 years I've had several encounters with dominants, both male and female.

For a while I was getting my head together and wasn't really sure, not 100% sure, that I needed another tpe. My uncertainty was just a form of lying to myself. I do. I'm not going to make a decisions, I'm not good at people stuff. I can hold down a job, I have more than once. I've been in this job for 2 years. So if someone wants me to work that's not a problem, but I'm a textbook masochist, dsm certifiable. I've read on the subject voraciously, there's no cure for what I am. It can only be addressed, hopefully in some way that doesn't get me killed. 

I don't like what I am, I don't like who I am. Especially when I'm fluttering around free like this, and unowned. It makes me very insecure, a little nauseous all the time, and I can't keep doing it. Okay that's my update, I didn't mean for it to sound sad or anything I'm not I'm usually very happy I know it doesn't really look like that most of my pictures, but I am, I just need someone who understands what I need, and who really isn't afraid to hurt me. I know that sounds a little sick, but it's just the way I am. It's only fair that you know in advance.

10/22/2021 6:40:31 AM

Are journals working again??

4/15/2018 7:49:38 PM
New self bondage pic... Better than nothing 😃

4/15/2018 9:00:57 AM
I was told that i should post video of what turns me on, how i would like to be treated long term. The person making the suggestion pointed me to motherless... Wow.

Okay, i like feeling helpless, powerless, being hurt used, i guess degraded. And i really get off on breath play, being choked, even choked out or plastic bag suffocated. These videos speak to me...make me want to be the girl in them. It's probably a little sick, but, well, i guess im probably a little sick.

I know a lot of that probably isn't possible... But being dehumanized...

12/24/2017 2:35:54 PM
Felt the need for summer so added another picture.

8/12/2017 9:06:00 AM
i corrected my age. It's 25 and yes i met my poly here just before i turned 19 and for the record yes, i still miss it and it still hurts, but i'll get over it.

7/27/2017 3:09:44 PM
Hi everyone, Back after 6 years and one really failed D/s relationship hoping to find one that lasts. Still into bondage, domination, spanking and being put in my place... Not into the kind of violence and that puts me into the hospital, but i do kind of like to be hurt, even intense choking and pain. Still into very Relyfe Programming and still into long periods of silence and isolation / imprisonment. Hit me up if you're looking for a caring snuggle-bunny you can tie up and beat too...

7/17/2011 8:00:47 PM

i had my first flogging this weekend and oh wow it was unreal...


yes i am still looking for people to experience more with but thank you Dennis, wow!

7/14/2011 8:03:23 AM

i f***ing LOVE SUMMER !!!!!!!!!  I am going to update my profile later today but is there some reason that no guys under like 35 on the west coast get what dominanace is supposed to be like? i mean really come on!


4/10/2011 7:47:41 AM

thanks everyone, and thnk you jaimie for letting me stay here :-)


it's not permanent and i am really looking for a full time owner now for once the school year is over.  i am not sure i want to continue with college right now.


i am seriously looking for a relyfe programmer who is patient because i am going to be honest this part of me really scares me and a lot of the people here do (no insult intended) but i want to grow into this slavery and so please be a patient (and sadistic) guide into mind control....

4/4/2011 3:25:38 PM

Anyone know where i can find a reallly cheap place in the SeaTac area on short notice??  i need to find a place by Saturday. Move ins specials for people with really limited credit?  subbie/slave discounts?  anything?

3/29/2011 4:46:45 PM

ALRIGHT !  WHoever the rotten fuck is who showed my profile to my dad can just GO TO HELL!

3/23/2011 2:37:01 PM

Ok, cool.  No fillings needed and no work done but cleaning !  Yea!!


Trying to find someone nearby (like under a 10 hour drive for me) who wants to experiment with d/s on three day weekends.  I am especially interested in Relyfe now and public/private behavior control.  I would prefer someone out of the Seattle area, but here is ok if we aren't going out much.

3/22/2011 8:58:12 PM

Arrghhhhh ! Dentist tomorrow *shiver* !!

2/28/2011 11:00:05 AM

Hey. My meeting on saturday went ok....i am still working out what i am looking for so be patient ok?  ok.  i kind of made a mess of things because i was too nervous and i am not into drinking and i got really messed up real fast.   please remember, i have no back door experience and while i want to learn i kind of freaked out a little.


so are there any good tips on getting comfortable with that?  and anyone with ideas on how i can relax and stay calmer please send them. ok?  thanks !!

2/25/2011 4:29:56 PM

Got my first CM meeting tomorrow - wish me LUCK!!

2/25/2011 1:12:41 PM

Better today but still draggin.  Thanks everyone for the kind wishes !

2/24/2011 9:54:17 AM

Home sick today :-(

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