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Qualities, duties, and behaviors of a good slave:
- laugh at dad jokes
- complete the NYT crossword puzzle upside-down... in Dothraki
- depilate on the reg
- organize my paperclips
- maintain your self-respect
- re-pave the driveway
- dance with the devil in the pale moonlight
- make good pancakes
- make really good coffee
- eat your vegetables
- alphabetize the Ben and Jerry's at Target, at least once a week
- keep the booty clean
- understand, list, and describe the parts of a sentence
- brush your teeth
- be fond of cats and dogs
- have a sense of humor
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