speculum		specuser		Speculatio

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I started this journey a long time ago. At that time the internet was just gaining traction in my area. Expressing or displaying interest in this lifestyle made me feel isolated and scared of being treated differently. With the help of mIRC and Collar Me (Before it went to shit) they helped me feel like I was part of a community where I could play out what I liked without the fear of judgement. I still reflect on those times where the internet was new. You would feel a sense of excitement being able to communicate with someone else from another country. Fast forward 15 years through a lot of drama here I am! with a few meaningful experiences and people that have entered my life which have helped shape who I am today. Nowadays I prefer to give back to the community or to those who feel lost as I once was. It can get exhausting controlling every aspect of your life. Sorry about the above - it was a complete ramble… oh well here’s to the next 30 years!