I feel like an imposter in my own journal. weird.
Mother Mnemosyne or Mesonyne = memory & muses or quests & forbidden knowledge.
Both chase knowledge beyond human comprehension and often drive those who seek them to madness. One a godess and the other a witch.
However, I've been told the same result comes from experiencing the full glory of the divine.
It's understandable that existentialism is rife.
I need you Jackanory; my love.

Calm my love. 

Remember yourself.

Be yourself.

Own your fears so you can give them away.

Find confidence in your shame

so the burn can meet the kindle

Only then can there be fire. 

Change the lock my love

only you will have the key. 

The cutter can make their own copy to get in.

The choice is yours; entrust it well. 

And stop looking where it isn’t.

I act on a mark of an open mind is being more commited to your curiosities than to your certainties.

I heard "dont be so open minded your brain falls out of your head".

I concede. 
I'm going to go with what I know - and I know I can recognise ignorance. 

Wise men say only fools rush in and it is foolish to take action when you don't know much about what your doing. 
Ok.
And a fool will learn nothing from a wise man, but a wise man will learn a lot from a fool.
OK.
Is a fool destined to be a fool forever? 

Is there really so many types of fool?

Proverbs says silly fools do not learn their lessons from the mistakes they make.  Persuasion and well-meanig friends do nothing to convince a silly fool of error.  
Proper correction will only come from authority and is the only effective way to get a fool to respond. 

Sensual fools however; ure gives more warnings against the sensual fool than any other type of fool. 
Described as Kecîyl a sensual fool is determined to make wrong choices - not through mental definiency but through rejecting wisdom.   
'The sensual fool’s focus is on that which brings him immediate pleasure. He glories in that of which he should be ashamed.'

Severe punishment is prescribed for the sensual fool.

Choose wisdom; Reject foolishness. 
It should be so simple.  
Perhaps I am just a simple fool - In the absence of instruction and consistent discipline, the simple fool will naturally become more foolish.

You and I both know I've been a fool.

Paulo, so much of what you say resonates but, my goodness! The contradictions turn thoughts into knots.
Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.
And then you go on to say the contradictions are a sign of authenticity.  
One can only smile and nod.  True story. 

You should treat a muse like a fairy?  What the fuck.  A fairy should always be seen by those who believe in them Paulo.

Ephesians is notable for its domestic code - M/s. Submission. Hearken and be still. 

You won't hear it any other way - so if you will take it .. I appologise.

This weary road is gravel and sand 

The crossroads never never come.

The ditches are flooded with salt water

And it just keeps going 

The wind whispers and taunts:

Your are not...

And at that moment I turn by back on the universe. 

I most definitely am … 

The water dries up and the crystals appear.
The dust is thick but the wind keeps its course:

Do you need shelter from the storm?

And at that moment the universe dissolves. 

No the wind will clear the way.
I just need a better grip 

The most painful oxymoron and an awful truth... 

Your ephemerality will haunt me forever.

latitude: N 55° 56' 45.66
longitude: W 3° 47' 52.57

devoray elt devarow.  darling beautiful man.  i am not asking you to be mine or to choose me.  i simply love you.

S[he] Be[lie]ve[d]

If you stay still for long enough and concentrate .. you will feel the gentle gust.  

Feel it?

It's that never ending spiral churning up a storm.  

↑Lover of Despotism following the →Despotic Lover seeking out the ↓Lover of Despotism yearning for the ←Despotic Lover.

↑→

←↓

Imagine if one turned on it's heels to face the other. 

Dear Mother Mnemosyne.  i am not of your ilk - i believe i was switched at birth.  

Tell me .. does it take one to know one?  

i still look over my shoulder trying to see what i left behind...even though i already know. 

A singular conflicting view presented clearly, precisely, and logically ... can open up a whole new world of understanding and learning.  Taking the time to teach like that can expand horizons.  

Black and Blue roses are not normally present in nature ..  until some clever man came along and enhanced an already beautiful flower.

Can you find yourself in these words?  Rearrange them I’m sure you will eventually.  Confident that you will ... and then ... you will. 

I’m surrounded by all kinds of stupid . . . . S.O.S?  

I’m blind to it and dumb and mute .. I really could care less.

so many letters and numbers and titles and tags

I’m falLL{in}g Behind [iN] tHe WoR(r)lD/s of M’s shags.

Because all I see is beauty love .. 

I saw a written dove .. 

It’s wings were shapped by the ink of your typer writer.

that heavy extinction that birthed a flutter.

The swell season, said it rightly, when they said, and quote

I don’t know you, but I want you, all the more, for that, words flow through me and, always fool me, and i can’t react

end quote

The fine fibers of my bedsheets .. they belong to me 

and you may not have them.

stop asking me stranger

the most delicious thing that will leak from between my lips is

my voice.   

I see a beautiful kind of restless that gorgeous King of balm. 

whispering .. hey life is love my friend - it’s with you till the end ... 

There’s your saints and your mantras and your drugs to keep you calm

breathe the air instead and will your woes to mend.

It’s fake it’s real .. it really is a man.  Honestly please .. I’ll find out for myself.

Patience is somewhere in the box on the high shelf ... 

can you reach it down for me please.

that very long arm of friendship.. 

please don’t hold me at it’s end.

wrap it round me twice and thrice .. 

please don’t let it end.

"Altru-Hedonism is a mash-up of the terms altruism (selfless concern for the welfare of others) and hedonism (the pursuit of pleasure). Normally these terms are considered antonyms, which would make my made-up word a complete oxymoron.”