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i am currently unowned and am interested in finding an owner. i do miss that special connection between me and an owner. |
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well, i miss my Master incredibly. He is going through some thimngs now and i cannot help him. these are things he needs to work out on his own. but even though i know that it upsets me greatly knowing that he is going through things like that
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there is so much i want to say, need to say, but i do not know how to put it all into words. i have such strong fantasies that require strong devotion between the two involved. and the fantasies i have are far too numerous to mention. all i know is that i miss my Master and wish i was able to be with Him.
one fantasy i have is to be raped...for my Master to come at me from behind and blindfold me and gag me, strap me up, drive me around so i lose all sense of where i am and take me all the while him not talking to me so i could not know that it was him.
i also would like to do that out in the woods. outside would be an amazing feeling, knowing that it was so rugged. it would take on a more anamilistic approach and that would be very amazing.
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i have been rewatching the videos of Madison tha tMaster has wanted me to watch and every time i do i find more and more that intrigues me and turns me on. there is so much that is in those videos that watching them one time i cannot catch everything.
the way Madison's attitude to her master is very inspiring. and the way i long and desire to be with my Master, doing things without a second thought. i want that kind of relationship with Master, but being so far away from Him makes it a bit more difficult with some things, other things i still do like when He tells me to go to my room, lock the door and perfom some kind of assignment. i do that without hesitation and enjoy doing that for Him.
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i have really enjoyed watching the videos of madison and have realized some fantasies that i did not even know i had. like being smacked in the butt with a 2x4...i saw that and thought...oooo, that would be very intense and very wonderful.
i also want to worship my Master's boot. i want to kiss it, lick it, fuck it...and have Him stand on me, pressing His boot onto my back, onto my face. i want to be under His boot.
these are only the beginnings of the fantasies i am having and i am sure that Master is going to awaken all sorts of other fantasies and unlock them from the depths of my soul. and the honest truth is that i look forward to Him unlocking all that is inside me. |
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i have one fantasy that my Master has been waiting for the right moment to play out for me. i desire to be taken by force. to be blindfolded, bound down and taken repeatedly. not being able to see who it was that was with me would be the most intense feeling of submission. thinking that i could be hurt if i did not comply is a huge turn on.
on top of that i would enjoy being outside while this happened. Out in the woods being taken, with no where to go, no clue where i was, which direction was even north would be an incredible thrill. a thrill that would satisfy not only me, but my Master, knowing that He would have that much control over me.
these fantasies are only two of the fanatsies i have running around my head. i know that with time my Master will allow them to come to fruission. my Master loves me and will always be there to take care of me. not just my fantasies, but all of me. |
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i have been conintuing to watch the videos that my Master has instruccted me to watch and it is something. watching this girl go through all that she has to endure is amazing and has awakened a deeper longing to be the submissive slut slave that i know i am. it seems with each thing i watch, or each book in Gor i read a deeper level is awakened.
i cried earlier due to this, the longing was so overwhelming that i broke down and cried, not because i was unhappy, but because i know what i can be and i so desire to be that. i ache physically and mentally when i cannot perform the way i am meant to.
i have to be the luckiest slave ever to have a Master who not only loves me, but is willing and able to bring out the real and true me. no one has ever been able to bring out this side of me, for me to willingly submit, and no one ever truly will again. and that right there makes me want to submit all the more to my Master and do better then the best that i can. |
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well, lots of things have been rolling around in my mind. i've got so many fantasies of what i would like my Master to do to me when i finally get to see Him again i don't know where to start. i want to be peirced and branded, and if Master is up for doing that on the same day all i have to say is bring it on!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that is going to be wonderful and just thinking about it makes me so excited. the idea of being branded just makes me feel like the true slave and property of my Master that i know i am.
also i wish that my Master would flog me so hard he bruises every inch of flesh on my body. when He bruises me it makes me so wet, especially when i sit and can feel the bruise. i love to be in pain because i know my Master would never harm me, while He may hurt me.
i also wish and fantasize that Master would tie me up, gag me and use me and abuse me, flogg me with all sorts of tools, His cane, flogger, the flogger that has the barbs and weights and after using that rub some ice over the marks and then pour hot wax ontop of that and then proceed to continue flogging me until all the wax is off my body. that would be so incredibly wonderful if He could do that for a couple of hours at least, until He felt i had had enough and then proceed to turn me onto my back and do the same to the front side of my body. that would be beyond amazing. |
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my Master is a very wonderful Master. He and i have been talking with someone who may join the House and she is very nice and sweet. Master has informed me that He has tried her out and is pleased and i hope that she does join the House. she would be a good addition to the House.
also Master has me looking at the training of o and watching the videos involving Madison. she is very pretty and has been doing well with her training. Master has informed me that i am to mimick her persona. watching those videos is very interessting and i am able to learn a lot just by watching them.
Master has also told me i am to come and see Him on monday and stay there for the whole week. i am looking forward to that, i have not seen him since May of last year. there are some things that i hope He will do to me that He has been promising...my clit hood peircing and branding me, though i will be ecstatic even if one of those things were to happen. not to mention i can't wait to feel His collar wrapped tightly around my neck, His floggers tickling and biting my skin, hot wax turning into burning puddles on my flesh and cooling them with the ice and then flogging the wax off my body with the flogger that has the spikes and weights...mmmmmmmmmm...purrrrrrrrrrrrrr |
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i miss my Master so much! after i got to talk to Him last night i nearly cried myself to sleep because i miss Him so much and wished like crazy that i was there with Him instead of being miles away.
my Master means the world to me and i would do anything for Him. He wants to brand me and i am just a bubble of excitement over that. i truly can't wait. |
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the Gor books are very interessting. i have started down a mental journey that i can't wait to see what happens next. Reading how the slaves act is intriguing. they don't seem to react to the commands they just do them. it is very inspiring.
i hope that with time and training i too can act and not react to my Master's commands. He is very important to me and i would do anything to show Him my devotion. |
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the first two Gor books my Master wanted me to buy came today. i have started the first one and so far it seems pretty good. can't wait to read the rest of it! |
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my Master wants me to read the Gor books. He had me order the first two books. i am looking forward to getting them so i may start reading them. they should be very interessting.
i can't wait to see my Master, i miss Him so much. i often dream about Him and all the stuff W/we would do together. |
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my Master is the most amazing master ever. i truly do love Him. i hate that there are times i upset Him, because i really don't do it on purpose. but Master did tell me something that got me very excited. He told me that He is going to brand me.
He's been getting into the Gor books and has picked up certian things that He really liked. i guess it is in these books that they brand their slaves. He showed me the symbol He would be using and it is very pretty. i am really looking forward to getting branded.
i am not nervous about this at all. He's already gotten me peirced and tattooed and i was more nervous about those then i feel now about being branded. |
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currently Master is mad at me :( whe He is it makes me wanna cry. i was supposed to come out and see Him this weekend but can't. i really love Him and hate it when He gets made at me. it makes me feel weak and useless...
i would do anything for my Master and when i can't come through on something for Him it eats away at me and tears me apart physically and emotionally. |
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my Master is the most wonderful man in the world. he is the only one who has any control over me. from the very first time i met him he owned me. all he had to do was look at me and i was in his control.
Master has me doing this assignment every night where i play with myself and then using my juices as lubricant playing with my anas. it is very painful but i enjoy it because he instructed me to do it. i enjoy the power he has over me.
i cannot wait to see him again, to be totally in his control and to have him look at me with those blue eyes that stare straight into my soul. the eyes are what do it for me. they are the thing about him that make me feel so loved. |
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There are some things that can not be expressed by words but must be expressed by actions. This is how i came to find my true identity of being a slave. i am able to show my Master how i truly feel for Him by doing things for Him. When He asks me to clean or make Him some food and i do it i get this feeling of peace.
i want nothing more then to make Him happy. that is where my true slavehood lies; in making Him happy. His happiness is what makes me happy, because a happy master is a loving and caring master. and i would do anything to make my Master happy.
i just miss Him terribly as right now we are three hours apart. W/we will visit each other and those visits will be heaven. i can't wait to be in His pressence again. To have Him look at me, with tose peircing eyes, i melt and kneel without vocal command or hesitation. He is my true Master and He always will be. |
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