I have served as the full-time slave to a Pro-Domme for the past 17 months and now find myself searching for a new Mistress to serve in a 24/7 Mistress/slave relationship.  I provided many hours of service work from routine maintenance to home repair.  If there is an older Mistress in need of a reliable and hard working slave please write me.

I am searching for an attractive physically fit submissive female slave who enjoys D/s relationships and BDSM play. I have been involved in BDSM play for a long time as both a Dominant and a submissive. I am currently the male slave to my Mistress and Her Dominant husband with Her being the primary Dominant. I live close to but not with my Mistress and I enjoy doing service work for Her, but being that She is married I spend many hours alone. I want to find a submissive female slave who can understand why a person enjoys being in servitude and could see herself co-serving along side me. I know there are not many women out there who can understand or are willing to accept a male being a slave to a Mistress but I want to build a long-term relationship with someone without having to surrender one part of my life to get another. I am physically fit, 5'9", 165 lbs with a slim athletic build. I am loving and affectionate and very easy to talk to and get a long with. I am hoping that there is a female slave out there who desires a long-term relationship and willing to talk with me. Please write me.

I met with a local Mistress I adore and Her Dominant husband tonight.  Both caned and used me well. It feels so good to be caned after 5 months without it. Maybe She will consider keeping me as a slave.

In writing Dominant females...no matter how respectful I am in writing an introductory message 90% of them go completely unanswered.  Of the 10% who do write back 90% of them are only interested in "Tributes". 

I have been into the BDSM lifestyle all of my adult life and there are fewer people who understand what the D/s relationship dynamic is about.   I understand that when people first come into the lifestyle there is a lot to learn about the lifestyle and about ones self, and we all had to start somewhere, and it was through experience with play partners, and failed relationships that we learn who we are and what we want.

But there seems to be little respect and common courtesy given in return for someone taking their time to write a respectful letter...and even less class when a female Dominant begs for money.

D/s relationships are about Power Exchange not Money Exchange.

Where are the REAL female Dominants?  Apparently 99.99% of the female Dominants on CollarMe are "Tribute Me Dommes" only into it for the money.  What the fuck happened to the D/s lifestyle?  How can I find a REAL Mistress who understand that a D/s relationship is a relationship about Power Exchange not Money Exchange.   

Maybe from now on I should be a "Tribute Me Slave" and it will cost you a "Tribute" to cane me and verbally abuse me.

I was stood up by a Mistress tonight who instructed me to purchase several items which cost me over $200 to wear to a party she was supposed to having tonight but I have not heard from her in 3 weeks.  I get so tired of the games.  Where are the real Mistresses?   

Are there any attractive Dominant females in the St. Louis area that are interested in "Test Driving" a submissive male slave? During Your "Test Drive" You can see how well this obedient male slave follows orders, how well he handles a harsh caning, or just to try out Your new strapon for the fun of it. He is slightly masochistic and completely shaven. This submissive male slave is very versatile and can be a masculine cuckhold male slave or converted to a bull to use with Your other submissive male pets. With a little fixing up You can even dress this male slave as Your little sissy bitch maid to clean Your house wearing panties, and high heels. No obligation necessary...if You are not 100% satisfied that this submissive male slave can serve Your needs. But after Your "Test Drive" You may decide that having a spare submissive male slave at Your disposal would be nice for those days when you are tired and stressed out from dealing with all the fake submissives out there. You never know when You will have a bad day and just need to release Your inner Sadist. Don't kick the dog...when You can use and abuse this male slave for Your pleasure and amusement. Guaranteed to make You feel better. Daily webcam inspections compatible. Male Chastity Device optional.

I made a lot of progress in my basement playroom this weekend.  I still have a lot to do but things are starting to take shape.  Once the new windows get here things should go much faster.  Overall I am happy with how things are turning out.  Now if only I had a Mistress who enjoyed coming over to use Her slave. 

I don't know why I keep logging onto Collar Me looking for a Real-Time Mistress that is local to the St. Louis, MO area.  There are only a couple dozen...who classify themself as female Dominants...and by the time you rule out the ones only looking for Money, and the ones who are just into other women, there are only a couple female Dominants left.  But the submissive desires within me keep hoping, and making me keep searching...in hopes one day I will find her.  If I could turn off this side of myself I would...because that would be much easier... but I know in my heart I would not be satisfied with another "vanilla only" relationship.  I enjoy the feeling of being under the control of a Dominant woman...even one who is very strict, and demanding, in what She wants and how She wants it.  I am only happy to endure the training, the pain of being caned, being scolded and disciplined, being punished and being verbally humiliated as Her little bitch...to show Her how much I adore Her.  

I think I am finally getting the hang of shaving myself completely.  The more I shave myself the more I enjoy being completely shaven.  I just wish I could feel a Mistress's hands caressing my smooth flesh while I am bound and knowing She is about to cane me.  Or feeling her hands part my smooth butt cheeks before She pushes Her strapon deep inside me.

Why is it so hard to find a strict Mistress who would enjoy using and abusing a male slave for Her own amusement?  I don't need Her to love me...even if I adore Her and worship the ground She walks on.  I would be happy to be an object for Her to release Her inner Sadist on.  Someone She can verbally humilate and degrade.  Someone She can order around and control just for the fun of it.  Someone She can force to endure a harsh caning that leaves red welts and bruises that last a week.  And someone She can violate their tight hole with Her strapon making sure they understand that they are nothing but Her bitch fucktoy...then go about Her day....until the next time She feels in the mood to use and abuse me for Her pleasure.      

Going to bed for another night of wondering if I will ever find a Mistress to serve.  There are so few female Dominant in the St. Louis, MO area...it tears me up inside.  I cannot go back to strictly vanilla relationships again because part of me dies in them...but being alone with unfullfilled desires month after month is hard to take too.  I don't know which way to turn anymore....very dis-heartened with my search for what I want the most in life.

Last night was the first night I slept with my new Bird Cage male chastity device and what a difference it made.  I have been wearing the CB-3000 and the CB-Curve male chastity devices for the past 6 weeks...waking up in the middle of the nights with extreme pain due to nocturnal erections.  While I understand the purpose of a male chastity device is meant to prevent erections the extreme pain was causing me to suffer from lack of sleep and feeling exhausted.  I like the way the base ring of the CB line of chastity devices are made with regard to getting them on, because they open to encase around the base of the balls, over the solid ring of the Bird Cage which requires you to get your balls pushed through first then squeeze your cock through the ring.  But the open spaces between the bars of the metal cage allows my penis to swell during nocturnal erections (that I cannot control when I am sleeping) to expand without the intense pain of having my penis feel like it is being crushed in a vice.  Today I felt so much more rested but my penis still feels very confined and controlled. Now if I could just find a Real-Time Mistress who would enjoy being my keyholder.     

I recieved my new metal male chastity device today when I got home.  I had been wearing a CB-3000 for 3 weeks, then swithced to the CB-Curve for another 3 weeks.  Both were very hard to wear during the night because of noctural erections that caused me extreme pain and sleepless nights.  I am hoping this Bird Cage will allow me to sleep better...and not feel so exhausted in the mornings.  It is hard to get into but feels very comfortable so far.

I wear this on my own but it would mean so much more if I had a real Mistress who was forcing me to wear it and held the key.

I am struggling very hard with not being able to find a Real-Time Mistress that it gets me down on somedays.  The desires to completely serve a Lifestyle Mistress who takes being Dominant seriously...is so strong with in me.  I feel like I am chasing a dream...that may not really exist except in BDSM videos.  The masochist inside is begging to feel the sting of Her cane as she verbally humiliates me while putting on Her strapon, telling me She is going to make me Her little bitch....and that I am going to learn to love it.

I guess there are no REAL Dominant females interested in a REAL male slave in St. Louis, MO... that are interested in meeting...and that leave me feeling very sad inside.  What is a slave without someone to control in real-time?...and what is a Mistress without a slave to control in real-time?

The concept of "Forced Feminization" can be used in many different ways depending on the personal preference of each Mistress.  Some Mistresses are not into "Forced Feminization" at all, so I thought I would write what interests me about it.  First I would say I am not a crossdresser but I have no objection to being dressed as a female if it pleases a Mistress.

• I find it very humillating when a Mistress verbally emasculates me by referring to my male anatomy parts in female anatomy terms...such as my nipple as my breasts, my penis as my clit, and my ass hole as my pussy (I don't particularly like manpussy because that still has a masculine association to it).  A Mistress referring to me as Her little bitch, or Her little slut, is both degrading, humiliating and puts me in a very submissive frame of mind.  Especially when She says it in a very stern tone of voice.
• "Forced Feminization" does not have to be full blown crossdressing to be effective...it can be very simple things like being forced to wear pink panties under my work clothes or street clothes when going out in public, or being forced to paint my toe nails Hot Pink and keep them that way for an extended period of time.  It makes me think of her constantly through out the day.   Wearing nothing but high heels to parade around in the house while doing Her chores or just for for Her amusement, makes me feel degraded, humiliated and objectified all at the same time.  Walking in high heels requires a more feminine manner in the way you walk.
• The use of make-up and wigs to strip a male submissive of his masculinity, an made to look very feminine then made to view himself in a mirror, puts me in a very feminine frame of mind because I no longer look masculine to myself.  The more feminine I am made to look the less masculine I feel.
• A more involved method of "Forced Feminization" would include being forced to remain completely shaven...not just legs and chest, but penis and underarms too.  Especially if She is into making a male submissive wear thigh highs and panties...hairy legs do not look good in them.
• Chastity control can also fall under "Forced Feminization" in that my ability to touch myself is no longer in my control...and I have to work harder to please Her in order to be rewarded with any sexual pleasure.
• The penetration of a males ass in "Anal Play" is probably one of the most effective areas of "Forced Feminization", because it is the most physical form of role reversal...especially if the "Anal Play" is done by a Mistress wearing a strapon.  "Strapon Play" makes me feel more like Her bitch than any other form of play, because She is physically taking on the male role.  I get very aroused when a Mistress tells me She is going to teach me to use my ass (pussy) if I want any sexual pleasure.       
• A more extreme form of "Forced Feminization" would be being forced dressed completely as a female (wig, make-up, dress, panties and heels) and put into "Forced Bi" scenerios where I am made to perform orally and anally with other males, for Her amusement.  It arouses me because of the complete humiliation factor and being forced to take on a very feminine role sexually.  

Today it has been 4 weeks (28 days) of being in a male chastity device 23/7...with an hour a day to shower and shave to remain completely smooth as She wanted me to be.  I initially put it on to please an online Mistress...but I have only webcammed with her 3 times since I have had the device on...so I am considering removing it.  I may wait until I have worn it for 30 days.  I really had hoped that if I proved myself to be obedient She would consider meeting me...but that does not seem to be the case.  I really wanted to find a real-time Mistress...but with so few female Dominants in the St. Louis area my search for the past 6 months has not gone as I had hoped.  My heart is so sad.  I wanted so much to find a Dominant woman to serve and to please.

It is raning outside, I am home alone, horny but wearing my chastity device, wishing I had a Mistress to serve.  It may be selfish on my part but having only online Mistresses who I talk to maybe once a week leaves me wanting to feel more conttrolled and the only want I can get that is to keep searching for a more strict and controlling Mistress.  Even if it is only another online Mistress who wishes to amuse Herself...that is better than no Mistress at all.  Just sitting around waiting and waiting and waiting, day after day after day, for a Mistress to address me, give me tasks, assignments and instructions to follow stresses my submissive spirit...making me think that why am I wasting my time searching for something that may not be out there.  If it were not for my sincere sumbmissive and masochistic desires to find a strict, controlling Mistress who truely enjoys expressing Her Dominant and Sadistic sides, through punishment...I would consider giving up my search. 

I guess there are just not many women who are into being Dominant in the St. Louis area..at least not ones who want a real submissive masochist slave who is willing to kneel before them.  All I find are ones who want to talk online via emails or webcam...but they will not show their face or let you hear their voice.  Are their any true lifestyle Dominant females even on Collar me?  I wish I could find a Dominant female who enjoy being strict and controlling, believes in punishment and gets off on humiliation.  It sucks to have all these submissive desires within me and no outlet for them. 

I don't understand some of the Mistresses I have talked to on Collar Me.  Last night I spoke to a local Mistress via Skype that I had talked to several times before, and she made the comment that if I came to see Her She would probably not let me leave.  My reply was I have a job and a house payment but I would be willing to spend a weekend in Her cage, knowing full well She would only let me out to hurt me and put me back in Her cage.  Today I sent Her a message stating how the thoughts of being kept in her cage and Her having complete control of me, even knowing She would enjoy hurting me....and She has been online all night and never bothered to reply.  When a submissive masochist slave offers himself to a Mistress for her to do as she pleases...I find it very strange for Her not to entertain the idea and reply back.  She has no problem controlling me on Skype but when it comes to controlling me in person She does not take me up on it.  I read all the comments from Mistresses about the fake submissives who don't libe up to what they say...but I don't know what to think about this.  Maybe She just likes to be Dominant online or maybe she is a guy just pretending to be a female Dominant.  I only see Her profile picture when we Skype and I have not even heard Her voiceI want to find a real Mistress to serve but it seems most here are just game players.  Where are the real female Dominants who want a masochist slave?

I am such a masochistic submissive little bitch....all I can think about today is how a Mistress told me last night that She would like to keep me in Her cage.  I know She is into hurting me and forced chastity and the idea of being kept in a cage...taken out only to be used and abused for Her pleasure and then put back in the cage turns me on. 

I have been sleeping a little better since I got the CB-Curve, compared to the CB-3000 which is just too small for me....but emotionally I am struggling with not having a Mistress controlling me.  My penis has been locked up for 3 weeks now and have not been allowed to touch myself.  The desire to find a strict Mistress to serve grows stronger with each day...but I can only find a few online Mistress who like to amuse themselves with me from time to time.  That is not the same as having someone control you day in and day out...and feeling like I am an owned piece of property.  To surrender completely to a Dominant female who enjoys exercising Her authority over me...pushing my limmit just because She can.  The masochist in me is begging to be beaten.

I need a hard spanking or a harsh caning.  It has been over 3 months since my last caning in which I was give 50 hard strokes that left my ass and thighes black and blue for a week.  I miss seeing the colors of "love marks" on my ass.    Any local Mistresses interested in beating me?

I have been wearing a CB-3000 for 18 days and the nocturnal erections have been extremely painful.  As my penis swells during the night the erection would push the whole device forward and the base clamp around my balls would pull so tightly against my balls that it felt like it was going to rip them off.  The only way I could get back to sleep was to get up and walk around letting the blood flow back to my legs...until my swollen penis relaxed again.  But today I recieved the CB-Curve and I just tried it on and love it.  Because of my endowment I had to use baby oil to get inside both the CB-3000 and the CB-Curve but the 1/4 extra length of the CB-Curve will surely help me be able to sleep an entire night and not feel so exhausted in the morning.  I cannot wait to go to sleep tonight to see how the CB-Curve feels. Now if only I had a female Dominant willing to check in on me to make sure I am wearing it like I am told to. I don't mind the pain and discomfort if it is the wish of a Mistress...but what is the point of wearing a male chastity device for almost three weeks...if no Mistress ever bothers to check to make sure I have it on? I don't feel I am being controlled without supervision.

Yesterday I recieved the Clean Stream 10" Silicone Enema Nozzle which I found at Amazon for $7.99...a lot cheaper than any sex toy store online. http://www.amazon.com/CleanStream-AC489-Silicone-Comfort-Attachment/dp/B00767NASE/ref=sr_1_1?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1345405809&sr=1-1&keywords=Clean+stream+10%22+silicone+enema+nozzle

I got a shower diverter valve from Home Depot...but it was pure junk.  I took it back and found a better built one at Ace Hardware today and an inline shhut-off valve...came home and hooked everything up in the shower.  I love it.  It is so much faster than having to fill a bag each time and wait for the water to fill me.  The 10" silicone nozzle reaches deep inside me and I am flushed out it no time.  I could not even turn the inline shut-off valve to full open without feeeling like I had a garden hose up inside me.  With the inline water shut-off valve I can adjust the pressure at the end of the flexible metal hose...which by the way I also bought an 8' hose on Amazon.

Now it a Mistress tells me to be ready at a certain time I can have myself cleaned out much faster and spend more time making sure I am completely smooth all over.

I have been in a CB-3000 for almost two weeks now.  I ordered the CB-Curve and waiting for it to be shipped.  A Mistress told me she would let me touch myself online for her after I had it on for a week.  That week has passed plus 6 days...and I have not heard from her much other than one email asking if I had been touching myself during my hour daily maintenance...which I replied that I honsetly have not.  She only lets me touch myself when she is online with me so she can watch and tell me what to do.   I am so horny.

I know Mistresses are busy with their daily lives but I am missing the feeling of being under any kind of control when I have not heard from her in days.  My penis has been locked up in a male chastity device for a week and a half.  I want and need to feel more controlled.  I have no assignments...no chores...no tasks...no demands other than I not touch myself.  No physical contact with a Mistress at all.  I spend the time to keep myself completely shaven as requested then just sit and wait to be contacted.  I need a strict Mistress who enjoys control, enjoys discipline (whether maintenance spankings or punishments), who enjoys humiliation, who enjoys strapon play and using my ass till it hurts.  I need more interaction...not neccessary sexual but at least a Mistress who wants to check in on me often to make sure I am chatised and shaven.  Feelong quite alone and neglected.

Day 7 of wearing a CB-3000 male chastity device 23/7 with only an hour to shower and shave myself to keep myself smooth.  A Mistress told me last nigh to sleep with a large butt plug in my ass which I did.  The pain of my ass being stretched and the nightly erections from my penis trying to escape his cage did not allow me much sleep.  I have not been allowed to cum in 7 days now.  I am not even allowed to edge myself...which I use to enjoy for prolonged periods.  I am so damn horny...it is frustrating.  I ordered a CB-Curve today because I am still having such diffiultly with pain do to the restrictive size of the CB-3000.  I think I may be to large for it and hoping the slightly larger diameter of the CB-Curve will allow me to be able to sleep but still be reatrained.  I can still wear the CB-3000 to work and for punishments if so desired.  I have been continuing with my anal strectching and was able to take the Rambone Dildo to the base again yesterday.  I am getting ready to shower again and try to do it again.

Day 6 of being in a male chastity device.  The night time erections still cause me pain but I am gettting use to not having access to my penis.  Today I went shopping for a bra, panties, garter belt and stockings as ordered by a Mistress.  I did as I was told except they did not have any garter belts.  I hope Mistress is pleased that I followed her instructions and did as I was told to do....like a good little bitch. 

Day 5 of my penis being locked up in a CB-3000 male chastity device.  I think my penis is starting to understand he is no longer free to do as he pleases...and that he will be confined indefinitely.  My penis still trys to struggle to be free at night when my conscious mind is asleep but the pain wakes me and I have to walk around until he relaxes again.  My penis needs to learn to be comfortable in his new home...his cage.  I felt comfortable enough that today I resumed anal training for the first time in 5 days since I have had the restrictive male chastity device on.  I have been made to put a large dildo in my ass for a Mistress online so she could watch for her own amusement...but today I worked with the Rambone Dildo http://www.extremerestraints.com/huge-dildos_186/the-dick-rambone-dildo_3945.html

  tryng to keep my anal cavity open for when I find a real-time Mistress who desires to use her strapon on me whithout any compplaints.  I can take the Rambone Dildo until the chastity device hits the balls if the Rambone Dildo.  When I take it all like that I feel like the head of it is poking my stomache from the inside.  I know many Mistresses want a slave who knows how to use his ass for her pleasure and other of her other submissive males, and since my penis is not to be pleasured I need to keep my "love hole" open and ready for her.  I want to be a good bitch that a Mistress would be happy to own.

I have completed my 4th day in a CB-3000 male chastity device.  I have thought about having my penis controlled for a long time and now it actually is.  I have no say in when I am allowed to touch it...only a Mistress can. 

I long for the day when a real-time Mistress will physically put it on me.  For now I only have online female Dominants who like to check to make sure I have it on via webcam.  It is the only way it is being controlled for now.

It has been over two minths since a Dominant female has spanked me.  I miss being humiliated and abused for the pleasure of a Mistress.  I wish I could find a real-time Mistress who took pleasure in owning me.  Being owned online is notthe same as being in service to her everyday. 

I have been wearing a bright red CB-3000 male chastity device for 72 hours with the exception of one hour yester day and today to shower and keep myself completely shaven.  Last night a Mistress made me get online to make sure I was wearing it.  I was excited to show her.  She would not allow me to remove it to play...but she said I she would message me in a couple days and maybe then I could touch myself.  Another Mistress is making me purchase a bra, panties, garter and stockings...and I tried to go to a store today to get some but not with much luck.  I will have to go again this weekend.  I get a little nervous going in and looking at women's clothes and then having to take them to the checkout counter. 

Since I do not have a realtime Mistress...I don't mind doing the things they ask of me.  It is better than nothing at all...but I hope to one day find a realtime Mistress who wants to control me on a daily basis.  I miss being spanked.

I have been wearing a CB-3000 for over 48 hours now.  Last night my penis struggled against the restraining male chastity device again.  My erections pressed hard against the walls that encaged it pushing forward as it tried hard to stretch and in doing so put enormous pressure on the clamp encirling my balls...tugging at them very hard.  The temptation to use the key to escape the pain was very strong...but the masochist inside kept me from being untrue to my submission.  I wore it again today at work.  I work in a mostly male environment and I can no longer pee ata urinal for fear of someone seeeing the bright red chastitiy device that imprisons my penis....I have to sit in the stall and pee like a girl.  Today when I got home from work I was granted permission to remove the device, to clean out my "love hole", Keep myself compleely shaven and to wash my penis...without any unneccessary touching myself for pleasure...before putting my penis back inside his cage and locking it.  I have done as I was instructed to do.  I am so horny.

I have been wearing a CB-3000 male chastitiy device for over 24 hours now.  Last night was my first night sleeping with it on.  I did not sleep well because nocturnal erections kept confining me and the pressure from my penis trying to stretch pushed the device forward straining against my balls.  It was quite painful.  I considered using the key to free myself from the pain but the submissive masochist within me told me that I would only be cheating myself out of experienceing what true submission is.  I endured the pain and wore the chastitiy device to work today and I was constantly reminded my penis is being controlled.  I do not know when my penis will be allowed to be free again...and that is something I am still trying to adjust to.

I am spending my first night with my penis in a CB-3000 male chastity device and unable to sleep. It is a pretty red one and I was physically excited when I got it in the mail today and could barely get my penis inside it. Now my penis is confined...and each erection pulls at the clamp around my balls. My penis is no longer free...it is being controlled by a locked device...and physically reminding me I am submissive.