Why am i the way am?....Why can't i have a "normal" or "vanilla" relationship?...Why am i a slave or submissive?...what is it about me that i am this way. Why can't i have a relationship where their is a give and take. Why must i be dominated?..Why must i be humiliated??? i don't understand why i am this way? Whatmore is i seemingly can't find a person that can provide what i seemingly need? It's so frustrating to be living this life! What is wrong with me. People i know have found happiness, but it eludes me! Why?