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I don't really know where to begin....I've been told that I need to "find myself" and it has caused me to stumble upon this lifestyle.
Much of my teens and twenties, I was able to have pretty much whomever I wanted, without much trying...even always being a heavier set woman, I learned my strengths and I was not hesitant to use them...
I would seek out people's weakness' and I would become whatever they needed at that time.
Now that I look back, I'm guessing it was my eager need to just Please someone....not really myself.
Knowing that I made someone's day/night/moment was enough for me.
Yes, most of the time it was sexual....that's what I'm good at.
But as I learned in therapy, I am mold-able...I can fit in at some high class event, discuss current events with people that are way above my place in life..and I am able to fit in with crowds of people that are busy getting tattoos and drinking, having a careless fun evening. People never look at me and ask "Why is she here."
I'm just that good at "fitting in"...or as my therapist says..."Eager to please."
This is no where near my first time stumbling upon this lifestyle. The first time I tried the Dominant thing....but I just couldn't get the hang of it...but there was something inside of me, screaming to get out, and everyone that I came across, said this was My World...I just had to find my place in it.
So
I guess I am looking for someone to help me on my journey.
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