What is a Dominant

Note | 14 Comments · 7 Love It | 12 months ago

Years ago when I first started my training with my first Mistress. We were given instruction as well as reading during our training. One of the things we were given was Lord's idea of what a Dominant is. I found this a little bit ago and, thought I would post it. As a Switch I still identifed with these statements. They have served me well during my time. Now as an Alpha slave I still refer to them for my Mistress. They are neither right or wrong but what I know to be true for me. I have lived by them as will my Mistress now.
I have seen variations of this elsewhere ours were given to Mistress Debbie from Lord K.

Being Dominant/submissive is a state of mind. It is not a sex act, it is not a game, and it is not a role. It is a state of being and is totally asexual (neither male nor female)

A Dominant must always be in control.
Drugs, even alcohol, are mind and body controlling agents. They affect relationships and most importantly can affect a scene, therefore taking away the control the Dominant MUST have.

A Dominant is always honest.
To lie is to show you cannot be trusted and a submissive must be able to trust you to respect you.

A Dominant accepts responsibility for all his/her actions.
Everyone makes mistakes. Do what is needed to make amends, and correct it. Accept and admit the fact that you messed up. To seek an excuse for something going wrong or hurting someone will cause you to lose respect.

A Dominant expects but does not demand respect.
No Dominant demands strangers to call him/her Master/Mistress. Respect is earned over time.

DUTIES OF A DOMINANT

It is the duty of a Dominant to control his/her emotions.
To punish a submissive in anger or to lash out to anyone is abusive.

It is the duty of a Dominant to remember that submission is a gift.
To misuse this gift is abusive. When the submissive is not free to take back the gift it is no longer a gift.

It is the duty of a Dominant to watch over and protect their submissive.

It is the duty of a Dominant to watch and monitor the scene carefully and to ensure the submissive is not being harmed either physically or emotionally.

It is the duty of a Dominant after a scene to ensure the submissive is emotionally stable.

It is the duty of a Dominant to know and understand what the needs, desires and wants of a submissive are.

It is the responsibility of a Dominant to ensure the submissive knows what
the submissive’s rights are.

It is the responsibility of a Dominant to teach the submissive information about the Lifestyle.
The best method is to teach the submissive how to acquire this information and where he/she can get it. An ignorant submissive can be an embarrassment to a Dominant.

RESPONSIBILITIES OF A DOMINANT

It is the responsibility of a Dominant to insure an unowned submissive is guided to a Dominant that is suited to the submissive's wants, needs and desires.

It is the responsibility of a Dominant to insure the submissive knows what being abusive is.
To insure this is to insure the submissive knows when to call it quits

It is the responsibility of a Dominant to insure the submissive grows and develops under the Dominant's ownership, in both the lifestyle and the public life (i.e., job and family). Being submissive only means being a "doormat" when the submissive has made it clear that is what the submissive is looking for.

DISHONORABLE ACTS

For a Dominant to allow a submissive to be actually harmed in ANY way is dishonorable.

For a Dominant to allow a submissive's rights to be violated is dishonorable.

For a Dominant to play with and discard a submissive just for amusement is dishonorable

Unless the submissive has declared them selves to be unowned, another Dominant's interference in a relationship is dishonorable.

To chase after or scene with Another's submissive without the other Dominant's permission and full knowledge is dishonorable.

I recently came across this and felt it embodies the spirit

with which a Dom should look upon and treat their submissive(s) that truly care, cherish, respect, admire

and love them. I hope it will be your philosphy as well.

A DOMS PLEDGE TO THEIR SUBMISSIVE(S):

I stand before you, My eyes, full of compassion and care, looking down on your kneeling form.

you have offered yourself to Me, your mind, your body, your emotions, and your soul, and for those I pledge you this.

I shall cherish you not only as My submissive, but as the woman you are, warm, intelligent, caring, and sensitive.

I shall never intentionally harm you, and although I know, I am not perfect, I shall try to act wisely in all things.

If I err, I shall rectify My error and I shall apologize to you.

I shall continually strive to guide you and teach you to help you and support you, as you make the difficult decisions, which precede growth.

I will be patient, as you grow, knowing that all thiings take time and change often does not come easily. But even in My patience, I shall continually push you forward and not allow you to fall backwards. If in anything you do fall, I shall be there to catch you, hold you, comfort you, and then place you back on track.

If I ever lose My temper, I shall step back from that situation until I regain control, then deal with what has occurred. I will not act irrationally or hastily, you shall always have the opportunity to explain what has happened, before I decide what must be done, then My actions will always be based on correcting you, not punishing you.

I shall edify and build you up, always encouraging you and never belittling you, as a submissive or woman. I will also build trust, being open and honest with you.

I shall always communicate with you, even when it may not be easy for Me, showing both My strengths and weaknesses. you shall never fear from Me, for I shall never forget your humanity and shall always honor the gift you have given Me.

I will never lord My dominance over you. you are submissive, I am dominant, two sides of the same coin, one by itself is worthless.

I will treasure you, knowing without you, I have no more than an unfulfilled desire.

Finally, My love, I pledge I shall love and cherish you, you are Mine, but I am no less yours.

With that W/we B/both have what W/we have always sought, E/each O/other.

Favorite sayings:

FAVORITE SAYINGS: I THINK WE ALL RUN ACROSS THINGS FROM TIME TO TIME THAT CATCH OUR EYE OR SOMETHING TOUCHING WE WANT TO REMEMBER. THESE ARE A FEW OF THOSE THAT HAVE HELPED TO SUSTAIN ME OVER THE YEARS. MAYBE THEY WILL HELP INSPIRE YOU AS WELL.
SIR

" TO LIVE FOR TODAY AND TO LOVE FOR TOMORROW IS THE WISDOM OF A FOOL! FOR TOMORROW IS PROMISED TO NO ONE......"

"THE ONLY CHANCES YOU REGRET IN LIFE ARE THE ONES YOU DO NOT TAKE"

"EACH OF YOU HAS BEEN GIVEN A BAG OF TOOLS, A FORMLESS ROCK
A BOOK OF RULES.
AND EACH MUST MAKE ER' LIFE HAS FLOWN,
A STUMBLING BLOCK OR STEPPING STONE"

(HENRY LONGFELLOW)

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
~Dr. Suess~