At the end of the day I have a very low opinion of myself.  I have issues with anxiety, depression, shyness, and just general insecurity over my level of intelligence and physical attractiveness.  Over the years these issues have manifested themselves in a variety of unhealthy ways related to my sexuality.  I do not do well in vanilla relationships.  I am a porn and masturbation addict which makes it hard to focus on an intimate, romantic relationship.  I prefer to thnk of myself as a three holded object with a pair of tits. I am a humiliation addict.  I crave it.  This type of thing feeds my self esteem issues.  Oh it gets much worse than that.  I like to deny myself orgasms in order to intensify my sexual desires and fantasies.  Sometimes I will go weeks without an orgasm, which involves multiple edging sessions a day.  And at the end of that rollercoaster I tend to be a complete sloppy mess.  When I get to that stage all I can think about when rubbing my pathetic cunt is being completely ruined, mentally and physically, until I am nothing but a mindless piece of low grade fuckmeat, begging to be treated like a worthless piece of shit for the rest of its life.  Yep.  I think about that a lot.  

 

I got here because I dated a guy for several years that was what I call institutionally abusive.  It was not BDSM or a cute Master/slave thing.  I was his abuse toy, plain and simple.  After he finally tossed me to the gutter in favor of a hotter model, I spent a long time dealing with my issues.  In truth, going on to sites like this is a way for me to feed my addiction.  I am an attention whore that wishes one day she will truly be in a place where she regrets what fantasized about.  

 

Am I looking to be a fulltime slave? Not really.  Am I ok with being manipulated until I think that is what I want to be forever?  Yep. Am I an attention whore with a needy cunt and a disgusting brain? Yep. Will I regret all of this later in life? Hopefully.