"That's your new life. Doing the things I love and learning to love it."

Mistress wrote that to me this morning during a conversation and I instantly re-read it a few times. It captures the new life I am starting to lead very succinctly. As I wrote in my previous entry, I never thought things would progress this quickly. I want to stress how far-fetched the thought that I would be so controlled and ruled by the Queen, mere days after we first messaged, was to me. It seemed like something other people did, not something I fell into. I had experience with lesser dominants and I was always playing my games and pulling the strings.

With the Queen it became apparent very quickly that there was only one way this was going to work: the Mistress way. Mistress is a lot smarter than me and has way more experience in this lifestyle. In a way, that is making it easier for me to give up total control and start really enjoying pleasing the Queen with whatever she enjoys. I feel like Mistress has a plan for me and I want to follow it to the T. Each interaction with the Queen makes me realize even more how lucky I am to have this special privilege. 

This morning Mistress allowed me to stroke my cock a few times to allow precum to surface. Mistress then instructed me to lick the precum and rub it on my lips. I had never done this before, nevertheless, I did not hesitate for a second. Thinking about this afterward made me realize how much control the Queen has over me after such  a short period of time. I can only imagine what's to come.

Later, Mistress sent me a picture of a her divine hands carefully painted with beautiful colors. I was awe-struck by the emotions every pic of the Queen stirs in me, regardless what part of the body.  The Queen instructed me to worship the hands that would be grabbing and pulling at my cock to tease me and get what Mistress wants. I have no doubt this will be easily accomplished by the Queen. 

A taste of disappoint

Today I had my first taste of what it feels like to disappoint Mistress.  I would not have thought that only a few days after exchanging messages with the Queen, disappointing her would hurt so much... had I not experienced it. It felt terrible. Like I had let down the person that matters most. And that is exactly what I did.

The Queen was VERY generous in hinting at a clear way to please her, and I was too preoccupied with myself to notice it. This has taught me to focus all my attention, thoughts and concerns on the Queen and making her smile.

I tried to make up of for it after I realized what I had done, but it was too late. Mistress ordered me to take care of my needs so I did so in a hurry and thought about what a mistake I made on the way home. I hope I can please the Queen this evening and never feel the sting that is disappointing the person that I care about the most.