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I'm interested in having my first BDSM relationship if I can find the right partner.

To start with my interests are cuckoldry and other forms of emotional abuse. I am not looking for sex for myself and don't want intercourse but I would orally worship my Mistress or use my hands if she wanted. I like sleeping together at night but that is unrelated to BDSM. I just like having a woman in bed while I sleep. It could be almost anyone who doesn't snore too much, or kick. I'm not that horny to begin with for release, which I can take care of by myself when I'm alone, so my sexual interest is more about erotic nuances.

Cuckoldry works for me because I experience possessiveness and jealousy in an erotic way. In a vanilla relationship things don't go so well if you encourage your partner to be with others. There's no telling if it would work out in a BDSM relationship but I'm thinking at least the idea is there to start with. My ideal Mistress would happen to enjoy how much it bothers me when she plays with someone else. But it's not something I would push for, so it's best if she wants it like that for her own reasons.

Not pushing for anything to happen applies to everything else, because I want to be submissive and have things go the way she wants and do it out of obedience and not because it suits my preferences. In a way it is important that I be required to do things I don't like. I think my degree of submission is a reciprocal proportion, meaning the more dominated I am the more submissive I get.

My agenda here is based on my idea about women and men being set up naturally for male dominated relationships, based on natural impulses of our respective sex drives. I think in a vanilla relationship women become subversive to have power, or stoop to conquer, and also they will need the man to assert his authority, to contain hers. When control is taken by the woman, she is forced to grow beyond the comfort of her traditional role. In the process she becomes ambivalent. Finally if she masters her authority she has become truly worthy of respect. I only like women who get to that point, or if they are at least trying for it. In either case I am with someone I can like being with. The woman who has attained dominance is magnificent. The woman who struggles for it is interesting because she provides all kinds of power related excitement.

Likewise, as the man moving beyond my traditional role I will grow and have interesting experiences. I don't think it needs to be BDSM, but BDSM sets the stage well for dynamic growth, reactive experiences and sexually charged emotions, or emotionally charged sex.

I have no idea whether my initial ideas would help or hinder an actual relationship, but I put them out there as an indication of my perspective going in. Anything new is welcome to replace what I think now. The main thing is that I give it some thought. I'm looking for someone who thinks about what she does, at times, and at other times acts without thinking about it at all. It matters to me to be able to have a conversation now and then along the way.

The woman I imagine might be interested is herself in a similar position thinking about and wanting to explore power exchange in a relationship, plus being horny and liking sex so she doesn't want to be tied down to just one partner, or even have sex be that much of her primary relationship (with me). That's what I imagine. Who you really are will be more interesting and I want to find out. I'm sure some people here have established themselves, but others are like me, still pioneers, still searching, exploring, making progress toward that which seems compelling to investigate.

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stoppea
 
 Age: 29
 Cincinnati, Ohio