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BDSM is important to me from the standpoint of sexual chemistry but I am looking for a traditional relationship. I do not want to spend my energy on someone with whom I do not share certain core values, which excludes an open or poly relationship.  I do not mean to criticize those for whom that is important, but it is not for me. I have an easygoing and cheerful disposition and try to see good in the people around me. I am harsh in the bedroom but sweet everywhere else.  I read a lot and am strategically located within 3 blocks of the Brooklyn Public Library. I invent palindromes and anagrams, and I love word games, and animals, especially cats. I am self-reliant but loyal. I take care of my body - I exercise and eat well but can still enjoy a lazy Sunday, or Katz's at 2AM, and I look 10 years younger than I am. I am kind to the customer service rep, the receptionist, the wait staff, even when they are telling me something I don't like. I've faced adversity in life and turned things around purely by the force of my own ingenuity. I am curious and empathetic but unconcerned with being politically correct. I love history, psychology, technology, classical literature and current events. I've always got a few books going, non-fiction mostly, and always have trips lined up to places where I have friends: San Francisco, Seattle and Chile at the moment. I am a bit crunchy without trying, sometimes have a dark sense of humor, but I am unfailingly optimistic, at least when I am not being cynical. I try to do the challenging things of they day first thing in the morning, but I admit I love to sleep late and sometimes do it during the week, but it works out because all my colleagues are on the west coast. I want to be with someone who is kind and reasonable, and comfortable with herself. Someone who is confident enough not to have to analyze things too much. When I meet someone who feels right, she makes me a into a slightly better version of me. Also, she makes me want to cook for her.