8/23/11

Stoicism be Damned    

 I love to make a woman squirm a little.  It could be from sending a shiver down her spine from nibbling on her ear, to watching her arch her back as I pinch her nipple, maybe feeling her legs tense as they are wrapped around my back, or being the spanker that I am seeing her legs kick when I deliver a solid swat from the hairbrush to the back of her thigh.  I just love the reaction, the knowledge that you are hitting the right chord.  I don’t need a flailing, screaming to bring the house down response, but damn it is great for the ego when you get the response for which you are looking.  As I explained it to a female friend of mine, when she asked why her husband so enjoyed cunnilingus, all men at times want to feel like Tarzan.  We want to puff our chest out and bellow, and what better thing to bellow about than we have just provided pleasure to our “Jane”.  

     From this spanker’s stand point this means ladies within reason feel free to kick your legs, if it becomes a problem I can always use one of my legs to pin yours down.  If you keep squirming too much it only gives me an excuse to add additional swats or change to a heavier toy.  By all means do not be afraid to say “owwee”, let me know when a good swat makes an impression.  Please try to sneak a rub of your red bottom in while you are in the corner, that way even if I catch you and have to spank you more I know that I’ve done some good work.   When we are cuddling afterwards don’t be ashamed to guide my hands down to help you rub the sting away, what spanker does not love to feel a bottom he just turned red hot.  Last but not least, for the bratty tease factor nothing beats telling this spanker over the next day or two (or three or four for that matter) how you r bottom is still sore when you sit the wrong way, or when you hit a bump when driving, or when you slide your pants on in the morning, or when…

7/26/11

I do not wish to be someone’s “Master”.  For me the implication of being a master implies my will superseding, overriding or even overwhelming another’s;  that my wants, my desires, my wishes would and more importantly, always should be the sole driving factor in the relationship.  I am not perfect.  I have multiple flaws. By acknowledging the flaws inherent in my humanity, I do not presume  that I have the authority and firmly believe that I do not have the right to dictate to another what is necessary or proper for their happiness.  When I began a relationship with another I hope to develop a level of communication, openness and trust so that we can grow together and find mutual joy and satisfaction. 

                I do not believe that anything in the above statement in anyway precludes an adult relationship that incorporates corporal punishment and/or domestic discipline.  I wish to believe that two people can in open and frank discussions reach the conclusion that for the betterment, or possible fulfillment of both, one of the two partners should assume the more, for lack of a better word, dominate role.   As a dominate I believe that this role should always be based in love, caring and respect for my partner’s needs, wants and desires.  That does not mean giving in to her whims.  This does not mean that she shall always have her way.  This would certainly not imply tolerating improper behavior.  What it does mean is that my partner should always have a say in the relationship.  It means that if we were to decide to use domestic discipline to aid in the breaking of a bad habit then we would agree beforehand that whatever habit she had was one that she wanted help in breaking.  It would mean discussing what actions were not deemed acceptable.  It would mean developing a clear set of rules and guidelines so that if punishment became necessary in hindsight she would agree not only that she deserved said punishment, but that it was fair and just.   I believe that in a domestic discipline relationship the goal of the dominate should be to help his partner become a better person, not to set them up for failure in order to punish them. 

                At the risk of redundancy, neither of the above rules out a couple incorporating spankings, paddling and the like into their sex lives just for kicks.  Be it a love pat as she bends over to empty the dishwasher, a naughty student who is failing and would do anything to bring up her grades or simply a spanking involving a long sensual warm-up and a lot of tender aftercare.  I think a lot more kinks can be bright into, if you will, “fun spanking”.  All types of toys and varying techniques can be used to enhance the pleasure, or at least experience, for the spankee as well as adding to the enjoyment and visual stimulation of the spanker.  I do not see any incompatibility between the two aspects nor do I believe that they should in anyway conflict within a relationship.