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pmpkynSF

pmpkynSF - photo 1
pmpkynSF - photo 2
pmpkynSF - photo 3

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Friends:
yankgirlspankystrictfrench

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Hi and welcome to my profile.
Just like everyone else i am on a journey of self discovery. i am always learning something new each day. i am currently at the stage in my life that i am trying to get myself better mentally, physically AND spiritually. At the current moment i am placing myself first. It is time to get myself better before i can help anyone else. i am human and i do make mistakes. i am grateful for all my friends whom stand by me even in my darkest days. But that is what true friendship is. Accepting people for whom they are, for all they are with their good as well as their bad. i am Flamey1980's girl. Our relationship isnt a standard D/s relationship. We love each other very much. We both believe that with a relatioship it cannot always be smooth riding. A true relatioship is one where during the rough patch times we get together and work thro it all. That is what we do. We been together for four and a half years. . We moved in together in Sept 2011. i am poly. i have a little side to me that Sir doesnt understand. He isnt a Daddy, nor do i want to change Him and make Him one. It is why i am currently looking for a Daddy.. i am not looking for a one night standm i am not looking to have sex with just randoms. i am looking for a second relationship a Daddy Dom and little relationship. Someone who understands that i am with Sir and i wont leave Him but that i will love and cherish my Daddy just as much as i do Sir. Thats enough about me. If there is anything you would like to know about me please dont hesitate to inbox me. Things i love
  • The colour purple
  • My Paci
  • being tied up
  • restraints
  • wearing my collar
  • needle play
  • snuggles
  • wearing corsets
  • Dressing up
Curious about
  • Wearing nappies
  • Sleeping with a nappy on
  • voice restrictions
  • Gorean Positions
  • Gorean
  • Selling Tutana products at Markets
Community involvment
  • Run M.A.P.A. (Melbourne Age Play Adventure)
  • opened up my own business named Tutana

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5/13/2012 7:14:05 AM

ok. Today is a new day. Yes things are bad but things couldve been  a whole lot worse... i could have killed someone i could have hurt someone badly.. i could have done a lot of bad things..... but i didnt... thank goodness.. i have decided that i am going to pick myself up again wipe off all te dirt of me me and try again... as long as i am breathingit has to be a reason for it... and i do  have awesome people who love me. So here goes......


Today 14/05/12 is a brand new start for me


5/12/2012 4:13:23 AM

 

life wont give me a break. Just when everything was going great, awesome job, awesome hours

i was paying everything on time, i had to go and have a car accident. Im ok there were no injuries but still im upset at the moment. Now i have no car, it means i have no means to get to work OR to do the work i was doing which involved my car Meaning i have no landed myself back to square one AGAIN

 

all i can say is When will life give me a break where these things no longer happen to me? i try so damn hard and no matter how hard i try it always blows up in my face

 

i wont be doing this but all i wanna do right now is sit i a corner and cry or even stay in the corner and be forgotten about and ignore the world... i wanna get off this planet atm..

:(


4/12/2012 2:28:58 AM

argggg.... i hate it when this happens.... i was speaking to someone and then after a week or so i told him i was scared about something. i got told we would talk about it the next day.... It's been more than just the next day and he doesnt chat to me anymore. THIS is what i was scared off... He wanted me to call him daddy already.. i was like no i dont call people daddy unless im in a relationship with them... yet he kept asking me to call him daddy...


from now on no i will not call anyone daddy unless it goes further than just chatting online.... i need to be heard about my fears and put them to rest. Also seeing im talking about the rules for the relationship i am looking for, i will like to point out, i will not be having sex with anyone else but Sir. i do need another relationship but it has to be non sexual based....


angry right now really am.. i hate how these so called Dom's come and try and hurt me. im not doing that anymore.


4/11/2012 5:24:05 AM

i am feeling really lost today. i am feeling really blah today.... At the moment nothing can really put a smile on my face a real smile a smile that brings sparkles in my eyes. At the moment im just walking thro my life and i am feeling lost..... i feel that a light has been dimed on my life and im not sure what..... i hope i figure it out soon.


3/31/2012 5:31:17 AM

Life for me is a rollercoaster. It has always been a rollercoaster for me. 

There are times in my life where everything is going great. i have mostly everything that i want in life. Yet somehow i cant keep a hold of it. i always know when im going to lose mostly all or all of al the good things i have. When and how do i know? When one thing happens. It could be one small thing that starts it or one big thing.


This time round it all started with not being able to see my psychologist till the end of April. i have been needing to speak to her for a while but i have just been soo busy working. When ifinally had a chance to book her in, she had a waiting period of two months plus. Its another month befroe i see her.


Then i fucked up big time. i couldnt comitte to a Daddy... We stayed as friends but i started to stress out a lot. i was working a lot... i started working seven days a week. It was getting to me. Then one day i snapped and i told Him off. i said things i shouldnt have said and He walked away... im not suprised... Everyone walks away from me. i have apologised to Him, but that is all i can do. i need to learn to let go. i cant keep apologising and trying to make someones mind up for them. If they dont wanna come back then i should let them go.


Now things have gotten worse for me. i'm facing a bigger crisis then what i have ever faced in my life. It is soo big that SirFlamey nearly walked away from me. i nearly have lost everything. i'm bearly hanging on my a finger with work, my mental state is aweful, im crying every night atm. i'm going backwards when i was meant to have gone forwards. At the moment i am crying out.... i know what i need but i cant have it. i tried to take control of my life and for me that is a bad thing. i dont know how to take control in my life. i need help. i need guiadance. i know that if  i hadnt fucked up big time with my Daddy i would have that support and help that i need and can only get from a Daddy.... i need to be able to have a time a space to let go to be able to loss all control and give it to someone i trust.... Sir cannot do this as He too is sooo busy.... And tho He can take that away from me i need a Daddy. Sir isnt a Daddy..


i know what i am going thro is only going to make me a better and stronger person. Just right now i dont feel that i am that....


i am a lost little girl trying to find her feet again and finding it hard. i know i will get back on my feet the question is when and how....

 


3/20/2012 5:43:27 AM

im feeling very lost recently... i feel like im standing in the middle of the room crying out, reaching out, feeling that i am asking for help, im looking for the last few pieces to complete me... It feels like when i found the piece i need and it nearly fits, all of a sudden i realise it wasnt the piece just something that was similar in size, in shape and in colour....

 

i dont know if anyone will understand how i am feeling or what i am talking about.... My little is just feeling hurt, scared, alone, confused............. My little needs her Daddy but her Daddy isnt around.

 

 

im lost


11/17/2011 7:22:29 PM

i dont mind it when people claim they have been in the lifestyle and are well known in the scene for x amount of time. Nor do i mind if they say  they know me or Sir (flamey1980) what rattles my cage is when they claim to know Sir (Flamey1980) and i and say things like Do you know whom i am?  and make theatening remarks to Sir and claim to know me. Yet when Sir and i both message these people back and ask how they know us and who they are they refuse to answer... This screams fake because both Sir and i are part of the Melbourne Scene.. We dont claim to know everyone but we know a few people. Those that have been in the scene for a while.... So we dont mind proving and letting people know who we are.. i run events and i am pretty involved in the Melbourne Scene... Yet to turn around claim to know Sir and i and then refuse to let us know who you are and be threating towards either of us, well that just makes me know for sure that they are a fake..

 

i dont name and shame. But i will be asking around the scene to find out who this so called Dom of 31 years experience is ....

 

Sir Flamey1980's pumpkyn


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NJEMTgirl
 
 Age: 27
 United Kingdom