Being a genius has always made me a loner. At 6 they separated me out, and tried to make something better of me away from the group. I have always been away from the group though and nothing better has really finally come of it.

I don't know how long God is going to make me live...he laughs every time I try to end it.

I'm writing this since the rundown has been requested many times.

Perhaps because I was a tomboy nerd or because my father was awesome (or both), I waited till about my 18th birthday to have sex. Looking back on my reasoning (fear of being awful at it-needing practice), I was still too young to attempt it.

After that I was what they call a serial monogamist.

There was a 2 year thing that I even tried over long distance (thought I would marry someone at 19, yes), then a 4 years thing with a high school guy that stuck around my friend circle, and then a short break, and an engagement/relationship for 4 years.

Not until I was engaged did I participate in unprotected sex, because I never was on birth control and not settled into a relationship or a career for that matter to afford for a child.

I ended all the relationships except the last one, which I feel like he ended by being caught looking for other women.

That heartbreak lasted a long time. I didn't get over it until recently, and the guy I fell for well, did not return my love but has just taken it.

I'm not really thinking there is much hope for me, as I am on this site, and the last guy I met off here had an STD he didn't tell me about until we met and I'm basically in an awful bracket of  that kind of thing, broken relationships, and men with baggage of ex wives they are tied to forever via children.

I also see in my timeline, that I'm not very good at getting over a guy fast enough to have children of my own in a relationship. I like to wait until I love a guy to have sex with them, and frankly, there are plenty of women that will take the interest of any man I'm thinking about loving before that happens, and no man simply has the patience. If he does it is because he has no other options, I have found. I think I am still too trusting since the men in my family were good and protective of me. Eventually it will probably kill me.

Right now, I wait for that day. Or the other day when by some miracle some old-fashioned type and I get along and want a life together....but that sounds crazier than anything after what I have seen in life, with all the families I work with, and from the mess on this site and the rest of the internet.

So...people told me sadist261 told everyone via spam i'm a dude. That is one too-much-time MFer.

Anyway, he never even sent me an email. Whatever I'm a chick. I have been verified on camera here by some of those spammed.

I'm kinda a tomboy or frat guy at times, but I like a pedicure and men don't like those. I also wanted to be a vet like every little girl does, and liked the show project runway.

I'm either a homo or a chick. I often say I'm a gay man trapped in a woman's body because I'm overly into sex with men.

But I restrain myself for something worth a damn.

I have met some nice people on this site and in real life, but the most confused in talking to me, are those who have kids with someone else.

I met a 'nice guy' who was into some farm lifestyle stuff...he was vague on his location but it was in New York state. Then he told me he was divorced and he had a almost teen daughter. No big deal he tells me, his daughter will be off to school soon and hates him now and hardly talks to him. He can move to PA.

Oh joy! What a lovely dad you are! Your daughter is about to approach the time in her life where men come from every angle and you are ready to bail because she's mad at you! And you call yourself a dominant man????? Running your decisions by a little girl? You fucking baby.

No, no, no... you don't bail on your family because you want to put on some leather on a farm. You fucking shallow excuse for a father and husband. I want nothing to do with you. If you were the man you say you were, you would have your wife and daughter under your control as you so desperately want, but you don't understand how that is accomplished and think you can just find a new one on a silly website.

Good luck, failure husbands and fathers! Move on from my profile. I am not interested in being part of your dream you are not fully dedicated to.

Everyone asks how this site is... well, it sucks for me just like the real life. I tell a guy I'm not into him and he tells me I must be lying about being educated. I'm not on here for attacks, even though I know the weak are around to do that all the time. Honestly, I'm not on here for any reason it seems anyone else is.

I'm frustrated with our disposable society. I get depressed and I think it's crazy people tell you to take a pill about it...cowards. Maybe if we weren't so busy drowning ourselves in booze, taking all the drugs we can get our hands on, and banging anything that we can we wouldn't be so damn depressed about how shitty things are and actually live lives that we are proud of.

This site has only made me more aware of how people in this country are too tolerant of their own sickness and filth.

Well...I'm going to lay it out there. It's just a dream right now. I am not able to make it come true on my own.

It is 3am and I awake on the sofa with a book and a blanket. How did I let myself fall asleep? It must have been that second glass of Shiraz... damn you, shiraz. You are removing the blanket and book and slide your hands under my back and legs to pick me up. You could do it gently but you swing my torso over your shoulder, raising my dress, and walk me back to the bedroom. The swing onto your shoulder into the sudden upside down position gives me a head rush as I am carried to our room. 

You lay me down and squeeze me. You are tired. You are asleep in minutes. I tell myself I will take a nap and think about how I will repay you for your kindness. A few hours later I see you laying on your back. I duck my head under the duvet and hide quietly for a few seconds. It is warm and smells of your sex under the covers and I can hear you snoring so I know you are asleep. I don't want to wake you with a hand so I begin licking the full length of your sleeping penis. I can hear you stir like the dream you are having just got interesting. I put your head in my mouth and open wide....taking the full soft cock into my throat and holding it there while it becomes engorged. It doesn't take long for my hot, wet mouth to completely full of your hard cock and I feel your hand on the back of my head on top of the duvet. You have just woken up and the view you have is if a stranger has found your manhood and is giving it due praise.

I work deeply and swiftly as I don't want to disturb your sleep for too long...feeling your hand work my head on your hard cock. My pussy is dripping wet. I run my fingers along my lips and collect some of the wetness you are causing, and I take my wet hand under your balls and massage like you enjoy. I have just the right amount of pressure. You are really working my head and I can feel you are about to come, so I take you fully into my mouth and feel your hot load in my throat. I feel myself cum from the excitement.

I feel you fish for my arms, and yank me into your chest, rolling over and asleep on me in a minute. You whisper something into my ear a second before you start snoring.

I wake up in the morning a hair before you and as I am coming out of bed, I hear you say, white...no top. I shower and clean up, and make you your favorite breakfast and coffee...I set it up on a beautiful plate on a tray and walk it into the room wearing only a pair of white panties. My nipples are hard and I come in with breakfast with a smile and a bounce to my breasts.

You sit quietly in bed smiling and enjoying the breakfast. You know you could be late, but your hard on will not go away looking at my glorious cans. So you place the plate aside, and grab me firmly by the hips...pull me underneath you and slide your cock into my already hot kitty. It's intense as I worked myself just hours before and you fuck me hard and deeply until you are ready to pull your dick out and shower me with your cum getting just one suck out of my mouth. You roll out of bed and tell me to get your blue suit ready. When you come out of the shower everything is laid out for you and I am in the living room tiding up.

After you are dressed, you come out to the room and grab my hair close to the nape of my neck and hold tightly while bringing my face to yours. You kiss me and whisper something in my ear. I grab your shoes and put them on for you. As I am pulling one of the laces snaps and I hurry off to grab another pair. I return and switch the shoes for you. And hand you your lunch. It is a perfect sandwich on a crusty french bread, wrapped in paper I made this morning while you showered. You tell me there is a bag with a dress in it for a party tonight. You bought 3 sizes as my cans are not always fitting in the same size and I thank you and tell you I will return the others today with the receipt. You are out the door and I continue my day tiding up, exercising, making the return, replacing your shoe lace, and writing as I do. I notice my feet need to look nicer and I get my nails painted.

You come home to a the scent of a fine woman, clean house, great music, and a dinner table set for two. I am in a little house dress and I made one of your favorites and we sit and discuss the day. Afterwards, you unwind on the sofa while I clean up. We cuddle later for a bit before you tell me we have to make an appearance. 

We separate at the party for a bit. I watch you a little from across the room. A woman is flirting with you, and I feel a bit of jealousy. It feels good. I chat and wait for you to look for me to come over, I do and you introduce me. We chat for a bit and the woman walks away. You say, 'what a bitch. someone needs to give it to her up the ass'. in my ear. I laugh into my glass.

In conversation, with a gentleman I interrupt without thinking and I know I will be punished for it. I apologize and we make our way out the door.

I'm massaging your hand on the way home as we chat. We walk into the door and you reach your hand for my stockings above my ass. You pull so forcefully they tear exposing my ass...and you spank me hard telling me 'you know what this is for.'

Spinning me around, you put my hands on your belt and I swiftly go to work on every part of you from your waist to your toes. When you have had enough, you grab me by the neck and pick me up with both hands then yank my breasts out for you to see. You tease and tickle them and slide your hand to pet my kitty. some of my stockings are still there and soaked from my wetness. You pick me up by my crotch and turn me over on the sofa. Putting your hand on my back you force my face down as you press up on my legs folding me in half, ass up. I feel you clean me from the front all the way to my raised ass. You whisper something naughty about the kind of girl I am. Holding me, steadying on the folded in half on the arm of the sofa you plunge your manhood deep into my wet pussy. You hold me into a tighter ball as you fuck me spitting occationally on my back door which is about to get opened all the way.

The tip barely fits and you give me about 5 seconds to relax while you whisper more things in my ear...holding me to your face with my neck. With one hand on my hair making a mane for you to grasp and the other on my warm soft breast you give me your entire cock. You fuck me so hard I beg you to stop...but you continue telling me why you are fucking me the whole time. I am so worked up I say I can't last, and you grab me firmly and force yourself all the way until your balls are stretching and I feel you pump me full of hot cum.

We finish and you walk off to clean off first as I lay in a pile and recover. I hear you walk into the bedroom and I go in and shower. I join you in bed and massage your arms around me as you fall asleep.

REPEAT.

From a chat i just learned how to use:

<pinupgirlserves>my grandmothers were my models. one that is now 99, had her kids in the house and cleaned it up and still made dinner
<pinupgirlserves> how about that?
<pinupgirlserves> that is hard love
<other guy> Thats quite an effort
<pinupgirlserves> love should give you energy to be better than you imagined
<other guy> maybe they were the real slaves
<pinupgirlserves> she said to me, 'i never remarried when he died because once you look into the eyes of your children and see your lover, you cannot replace him'
<pinupgirlserves> well, it's a nice model. i like it.