• Lady/Gentleman in public
• Impeccable service, or trainable to be such.  Service being household chores, massage, manicure, pedicure, ladies maid.
• Very sexual and sensual, but drawn to suffering for their release.
• Intelligent, I can't emphasize that enough.
• Well rounded, can hold their own in a discussion of politics, cuisine, finance....
• Hard core masochist and knows it.  I'm open to exploring the depths, not open to helping someone discover if they can or cannot take pain.  If you don't know, go hire a pro and find out before talking to me.
• Open to new things, sexual, kinky and life.
• I prefer someone who wants to go deep (aka slave), but it is not a deal breaker.  Part time pets are a deal breaker.
• TBC or modified.

• I say, must love pain.  I get contacted by people who can't take pain.
• I say, must have a brain.  I get one liners and illiterate garbage.
• I say, must have integrity.  Obviously most of the people contacting me never had it or abandon it when they sign in.
• I say, must have hair on their head.  I get a woman who wants to be shaved bald, and most people contacting me are bald or balding.  This includes 'receding hairlines'.
• I say I have a high sex drive and want someone who can keep up with me and who will also be chastised so I can enjoy their suffering when I choose.  I get castrati, cuckolds and people who want to screw everyone.

• Want a pen pal, chat pal or online relationship,  please know I do not respect you and that I in fact actively and passionately despise you.
• Want to dress up, cool, never ever ever at home.
• Questioning your sexuality, join a support group and do not in any way shape or form talk to me.
• Have some religious or emotional or any reason to object to being clean shaven on the face and body, no thank you.
• Have an issue with your friends, family or co-workers knowing you are with me (not your secret kinks or lifestyle, just that you are with me) after a reasonable amount of time, then take your hidden shame and stick it where the sun don't shine.

• I talk to someone here, we move to YIM.  I have been thoroughly taught a lesson this week.  I tried to accomodate someone using an app and it decimated my computer with a virus that I am still trying to fix a week later.  I use YIM until I decide I want to talk on the phone or maybe Skype.  Nothing else.  Can't deal, do not talk to me.

• Step 1, we meet.  If it goes well, we date and I take more and more control if there is a spark. 
• Step 2, a chastity cage is locked on at the second meeting and basic rules are implemented that have already been discussed before meeting.  You will buy a chastity cage that is well fitted and a resettable, combination travel lock for the cage.  You will buy a set of plugs and dildos so your ass can be trained whether you are male or female.
• Step 3, if the dates go well and we have enough chemistry I will continue to take control more and more.   
• Step 4, you show me your test results for HIV, HPV, HSV serum test, Hepatitis and whatever STD's your doctor threw in, before any sexual contact; kissing, sex, oral ...  No results, no progress.
• Step 5, you spend time with me in my home and I start your training to serve in day to day terms.

• Thank you so much for not wasting your time reading my profile.
• Thank you so much for doing me the discourtesy of ignoring what I want, good sub.
• The only thing I think I listed on my profile that is optional or open to exceptions is your age. 
• It's sexual role play if you only submit in bed, or worse claim that being tied up so you can lay back like a corpse and think that that will satisfy anyone but you.
• Submission is the joy of doing laundry and washing floors and leads to really passionate sex or chastity.
• If it doesn't leave marks that last at least 3 days, it was foreplay, not S/M.
• Spell check is your friend, but a slightly handicapped one.
• GIYF
• I am not your friend.
• Why are women's breasts getting bigger while men's dicks are getting smaller?
• Which part do you not get, strict or demanding?
• Online what you write is the impression you will make and most people don't even seem to care that they have left none or only bad ones.
• I neither mentor beginner kinksters nor teach ESL, but if I had to choose, I'd choose ESL.  At least I'd get paid.
• I think my scary video only scares intelligent people I might have liked, but then again if you are a pussy you can't handle me.
• Submission without pain is like black and white.  It's color that brings the world to life.
• Sex in a tree is an adventure I won't try again.  It really freaking hurts.
• So, having just been reminded by a conversation, I'm the dominant, I do what I want.  I will not be following whatever crap you read ex-dominant you had or icon you jerk off to.  That's called obeying, not what I do.

• If you have a relationship with someone, are  you in that relationship part time?
• If you are only partly involved with someone is that even a relationship?

• Mostly fisting and double fisting, but a few moments of punch fisting.  http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.?viewkey=615833599
• My favorite type of punch fisting, shallow and hard.  http://xhamster.com/movies/742221/d4mi3n_gets_a_brutal_punch_fisting_by_girlfriend.html
• My favorite of all time, so far, pain and D/s video even though it is flawed and just acting.  You have to work to get this one, torrent is the easiest way but you can buy it or download it torturously as split rar files.  By elitepain called Elite club, case 21.  Lol, it's two female subs, but the dominant is male.  Ones reaction to it and how much they see reveals a lot about them to me.
• http://www.redtube.com/674825 a new whipping one, very nice.
• http://www.tubecup.com/videos/33505/chastity-vibrations/
• http://xhamster.com/movies/3080698/redz245_femdom.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/2346974/strapon_fucking_my_boy_2_please_comment.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/665948/cruel_mistress_and_her_slave.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/1986631/honey_i_you_bi.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/2073763/asian_babe_bond_and_fuckd_by_a_fucking_machine.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/2116242/tied_and_fucked_hard.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/880037/d4mi3n_rides_monster_strapon_dildo_cums_on_girlfriend_039_s_tits.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/768146/property_of_mistress.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/1728638/femdom_handjob.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/1433359/creampie_cumsluts_cuckolds_eating_freshly_fucked_pussies.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/1873430/strapon_fuck_horny_boy.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/1883222/strapon_fucking_my_boy_please_comment.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/1834235/noomi_rapace_daisy_diamond_scene.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/1555288/shower_strapon.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/955882/prisoner_of_the_cruel_mistress.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/875055/whipping_torture.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/882724/cuckold_get_fisted.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/629974/daisy_diamond_strap_on_scene.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/485245/deep_strapon.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/390831/role_reversal_man_gets_fucked_with_strap_on.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/314126/femdom_prostate_massage.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/245351/femdom_he_wants_all.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/462563/foot_fisting_amp_deep_strap_on.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/351766/huge_strap_on.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/411029/carmen_strapon_fist_guy_by_t76.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/156932/fisting.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/462714/two_femdom_big_strap_on_and_fisting.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/241254/cuckold_compilation.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/467351/cuckold_husband_asked_to_watch_wife_gang_fucked.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/450997/shemale_and_some_guys.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/444018/sissy_boy_slut_brutaly_pounding_his_ass_into_a_gaping_hole.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/148251/sex_slave.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/443227/bisexual_sissy_slave.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/277360/cuckold_hubby_face_fuck.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/341973/amateur_mature_wife_hardcore_huge_toys_and_anal_fucking.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/169939/slut_wife_gets_creampied_by_bbc_13_eln.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/334916/cornudo_esperando_su_comida.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/362251/strapon_esclavo.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/361776/cuck_hubby.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/301254/bisex_cuckold.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/235284/cuckold_cream_37.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/366318/bisex_cuckold_husband.html
• http://xhamster.com/movies/216350/cuckold_cream_15.html

• Once past the dating/getting to know stage, but from the first time in a private home, submissives will almost never wear clothes.  This is easily integrated into any lifestyle and situation not involving additional people living in the home.  A coat rack, closet, basket or even the floor can hold clothes or a robe to quickly put on if guests arrive.  The exceptions are as above or if protective clothing is needed for safety.  That's it unless I'm feeling playful.
• I have zero interest in whoring a pet out.  Anyone interested in that, buy me an island, build me a mansion and the funds to keep it going and I'll take it from there.  I've always wanted to recreate the 'Beauty' series ambiance and rules with the businesslike aspects and playfulness of 'Exit to Eden'  on an island in the 21st Century.
• An ability to communicate intelligently, whether written or spoken is required.  If you can't talk, I can't trust you to let me know who and what I'm dealing with.  Let alone get any depth or connection.  Everything is in the mind.
• Honesty, integrity and an understanding of what that means on both sides.
• It's a relationship, not a business deal.  We have to have chemistry.  I'm not a pro.  I don't want to be a pro.  BDSM is part of me, not what I do for a job.
• I'm really not a swinger or poly.  I find that really paying attention to one human being is quite a lot of effort, emotional and mental.  I say I'm mostly monogamous because nothing is 100% except death and because I am not closed to potential fun.  But it's not a drive to screw every person I can or have my pet do so either.  The pet that fits me best thrives in knowing and feeling that I will explore them more deeply than they've ever experienced.
• It is not off and on.  It ebbs and flows based on the situation and constraints but I am the dominant and my pet is submissive to me no matter what or where.

• Incontinence (shitting yourself), ripping and tearing of the anus to the point it can't function properly.
• Getting infections - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anal_sex#Health_risks
   "HIV
  
  transmission.<sup>[19]
  
  [20]
  
  [21]
  
  [95]</sup>
  
  Other infections that can be transmitted by unprotected anal sex are human papillomavirus (HPV)
  
  (which can increase risk of anal cancer
  
  ^[96]
  
  ); typhoid fever
  
  ;^[97]
  
  amoebiasis
  
  ; chlamydia
  
  ;^[20]
  
  cryptosporidiosis
  
  ; E. coli infections
  
  ; giardiasis
  
  ; gonorrhea
  
  ;^[20]
  
  hepatitis A
  
  ; hepatitis B
  
  ; hepatitis C
  
  ; herpes simplex
  
  ;^[20]
  
  Kaposi's sarcoma-associated herpesvirus
  
  (HHV-8);^[98]
  
  lymphogranuloma venereum
  
  ; Mycoplasma hominis
  
  ; Mycoplasma genitalium
  
  ; pubic lice
  
  ;^[20]
  
  salmonellosis
  
  ; shigella
  
  ; syphilis
  
  ;^[20]
  
  tuberculosis
  
  ; and Ureaplasma urealyticum
  
  .^[99]
  
  "
• Fudge packing - This phrase is a howl and also a real problem.  If you don't clean out and you have feces in your butt, pounding it with a penis, fist or toy can lead to some really painful constipation and the potential of ripping the colon.
• Ending up with a colostomy bag.
• Really, really, really gross malformation of the asshole because of improper stretching, impatience or just abuse.
• Regardless of what they show in porn, don't go from the ass to the vagina.  Urinary tract infections really hurt, bacteria can cause other infections and HPV leads to cancer.
• Don't stick milk or bread products up the ass, or the vagina for that matter.  Yeast infections suck and can stick around for a long time leading to other health issues.  Be vegan on this one, a carrot, zucchini or even an orange once cleaned is much more healthy.  I want to say broccoli but that's because that's the orifice I'd prefer to have encounter it.

Submission versus submissive role play

I’ve been sick for the last few days and started thinking about submission trying to flowchart it in my mind.    That’s so not happening; it’s got too many branches and sub-categories.  Essentially there are as many ways to submit as there are submissives.  But it did lead me to think about something that comes up when someone is new to submission, or has extensive experience scening.  Scening is essentially role play, not submitting.  This was triggered by talking to a submissive and after telling him I was sick, he proceeded to describe what his previous dominant would do.  This was that even though sick, she would pick out his clothes and provide a newly written list of chores for him.  What he did not indicate any thought of was checking on her well-being, offering to make a cup of tea or some soup or in any way take care of the dominant.  That is a fine example of not submitting.
In a scene the dominant stands over the submissive directing each action while teasing, torturing or taunting.  In reality, that may happen in the initial stages as the dominant is assessing the quality of the submissive they are involved with and for fun.  But on a regular day to day basis, the submissive knows what to do, how to do it and is fulfilled by having provided that service.   They generally enjoy the praise and/or appreciation of their dominant as their reward. 
This is, surprisingly enough to me, one of the hardest things for submissives with no experience (but a lot of reading or porn watching experience) or only role play experience to internalize.  With the literature (fiction) and the ‘play’ culture (role play), many supposed submissives have the mindset and attitude that a dominant is there to service their ego and play games and has no other purpose, interests or obligations. 
In real life terms, standing over someone who is washing a floor is ludicrous and negates the value of the submissive.  
So, for those who see submission as an act that requires an audience, consider that you may not be submissive but are a bottom who likes to role play.   A suggestion would be, do the task, wait for the reaction of the dominant (praise, correction) and see if you might actually find yourself feeling the satisfaction of having really served. 

• D/s Dominant
• Poly
• Sissy - whiny bottom, manipulative, pouting, childish.  This is not sissification,which is when a man is dressed to ridicule femininity and masculinity in order to humiliate.  This is also not talking about feminization, a male being taught to both appreciate feminine aspects and/or appearance in himself.
• Whore
• Weak
• Unintelligent
• Bad grammar
• Disorganized
• Depressed
• Cuckold
• Racial fetishist
• Scat
• Castration Fetishist
• Liar
• Cheat
• Coward, unmotivated and won't take risks.
• Unemployed, or subsistence level and expect me to support them.
• Infected with an STD
• Drug or alcohol addicted, even if recovered.
• Married, committed or otherwise unable to commit fully
• Online anything
• Random compliments, thank you so much for contacting a stranger and wasting her time with meaningless words that show you are bored or desperate.  Please find someone who actually has endless time to type the same phrase over and over and over again.  Thank you for the compliment.  If you are actually interested in me, you would never have sent me this load of bullshit to waste seconds, minutes and hours of my life on nothing.  The best people to do that to are the obviously moronic and facetious who would more than fit what you offer.

CM is a bdsm site.  The people on the site are generally expected to be kinky in some variation.  The reason I visit this site is to take advantage of the fact (belief) that I could pinpoint more bdsm related interests that match mine, within the larger context of a fully developed person. 

Every single person from this site that I have gotten to the point of meeting, has belied any semblance of interest in anything but using me to get some kinky attention.  No one has ever met me from this site and shown interest in knowing me, talking about anything but kink with me and pushing (both softly and hard) for kink.  I am specifically not referring to d/s which is of course an element of interacting with me.  So, to all the bitches here that complain about the women acting cold, disdainful...pick a denigrating word, it's a learned response to being treated like less than or the same as you'd treat a hooker.

Since I start from the assumption/hope that a person I talk to is kinky, has looked at my interests and thinks we are compatible; what I am hoping to hear about in addition to the former, is that persons other interests, skills, fun, experience.  As much as it sucks to try to describe oneself, until a face to face meeting this is all one can do.

I have a friend, he happens to be a sub in a committed relationship.  He has the basic skills of a good sub down.  He is helpful, proactive, truly fulfilled by serving and being appreciated for that service while having a passionate relationship with his wife.  He reminds me of what I had and what I seek, except he isn't a masochist.  That's what it boils down to, I want someone I am attracted to, who loves to submit and is also a masochist.  So simple, so hard.

When people contact me and only talk about bdsm, I am left with the clear impression that it is not me they are interested in.  Just a breathing jerk off device.  Aren't there any well rounded people interested in finding someone to share life with, inclusive of bdsm?

If you are adventurous, you will find me interesting.  (Adventurous - Know yourself well enough that you can decide whether to follow my lead or run screaming.  I won't force it, much.  I won't push if the denial is clear.)

If you aren't adventurous, you will find me scary.  Do not pass go, start with someone who is also not adventurous and save my energy and your ego.

If all you seek is adventure, I will bore you.  I like intelligent conversation, finding humor in life, and horror of horrors, occasional cuddling with someone who I actually care for.  Lol, keeping in mind, the more I care, the more I want to make you sob for me.

I'm really interested in someone who can match me for wanting to really enjoy life and who is not so scared of me that they are frozen in place and does not try to cage me with their inexperience.  I've had a lot of experience with the inexperienced and it boils down to them being either balanced enough to know themselves and the chemistry working well enough that they were able to trust me enough to join me in pushing boundaries all around, or they were curious enough to at least try things before pissing themselves.  Is that you?

I'm finally starting to acclimate to being in school again.

I read something and it epitomizes my experience in the scene and online.  Edited a bit since it is not kink specific.

"Do you think dominants are just there for emotionless sex or as a training aid? Shut up and grow up. If you ever expect to find a dominant or even a serious partner then you need to realize that adult relationships involve a whole lot more than just sex, even great sex"

2014

Working, started school, lost a family member, too much snow.  Looking forward to spring, staying focused on my dominant intent to stay happy no matter what.

Perception is reality

I am finding more and more people who contact me assuming that if I'm not currently a pro-domme, I must have been one in the past.  No, so sorry but just as I am not equipped with the right mindset to be a hooker, I can't be a pro-domme.  Those professions fulfill flip sides of the intimacy portion of interaction.  That is private to me and only valuable as such.  I have no issue with people who visit either, totally not being pc here.  They serve a useful purpose in providing outlets for those in need, save some few women from being used, provide experience to those that don't want to or can't find play partners in the scene and probably somethings I haven't thought of because I don't spend much time thinking about it.

My experience has come from having long term relationships which have provided the depth and connection that allowed exploring interesting twists with a level of communication and honesty that made the adventures more than just play.

Having said that, I had originally planned to post about my fun activities this week.  I am beyond any doubt, not a ropesman.  Seriously, most of the time rope is a way to hold someone down for use.  The bondage part is as happily achieved with cuffs and chains.  But I have been hanging out with a friend who is a bondage lover and, as is usual with the type, escape artist.  It took me a few meeting but I finally started to remember my 'basics for dominants who don't give a damn about bondage'.  I won and so did he.

I also had fun with a prospective pet.  My friend into bondage has provided a nice anchor for reminding me that submissives really do still exist, but having someone that I had to take control of in real terms was very sweet.  While I do plan to see where it goes, I am breaking my habit of focusing on one person to the end.  He said the magic words about being fine if I had other pets.  Which I perceive as, and always will, I'm not willing to actually commit to anything real.  So I have let him know I will be doing just that, looking for a pet that really wants to be owned.

All in all November has been very pleasant, though chilly.

A new and cool example of fun.

http://www.bdsmstreak.com/video/12183/gloryhole-cbt-and-electro-torture

This is one example of why it is called safer sex.

People ask me why I come up with such cool uses for their cum, here is one very good reason.

This idea has been percolating since the end of May from a conversation I had with someone who frequents craigslist. Then, as seems to always be the case, it came up several more times. Almost everything I mention has been known for more than 30 years. It's too bad for all of us that the world is not a perfect place; we all have to deal with it.

From http://www.herpes.com/hsv1-2.html

. The primary difference between the two viral types is in where they typically establish latency in the body- their "site of preference." HSV-1 usually establishes latency in the trigeminal ganglion, a collection of nerve cells near the ear. From there, it tends to recur on the lower lip or face. HSV-2 usually sets up residence in the sacral ganglion at the base of the spine. From there, it recurs in the genital area.

Even this difference is not absolute either type can reside in either or both parts of the body and infect oral and/or genital areas. Unfortunately, many people aren't aware of this, which contributes both to the spread of type 1 and to the misperception that the two types are fundamentally different.

"People don't understand that you can have type 1 genitally or orally, that the two types are essentially the same virus,' says Marshall Clover, manager of the National Herpes Hotline." One type is associated with stigma, the other is "'just a cold sore"- our society has a euphemism for it so we don't even have to acknowledge that it's herpes.''

One irony that continually strikes me and somewhat horrifies me is that people use condoms, but don't consider herpes; a very common sexually transmitted disease. Do you know that the infection can be in areas that the condom/dental dam does not cover?

How many of us use a dental dam to kiss until you both get tested for STD's, including herpes? Or more intelligently wait for the testing to do anything? It's just a cold sore, right? We all of course know that herpes can be active and invisible (it's called viral shedding) and on top of that the infected don't necessarily know they have it.  Not to mention the wonderful people in the world who just don't tell you and keep passing it on.

Do you trust that horny, complete stranger to tell you if they have hepatitis B which is passed on in saliva too? You don't need your liver and dialysis and drugs have to be kick ass fun.

Oral herpes (HSV-1) is contagious, active and invisible when it is in its viral shedding phase. Do you like kissing relatives and friends? How about kissing your daughter/son, cousin, nephew, friend, parent, random strangers, or your best target pregnant women (two for one with that).  How will they feel about you when they get an incurable disease? But it is okay, they probably won't know it was you.  A kiss on the eyelid and you could cause herpes in the eyes; blinded by love. You can find the list of damage online.

Don't you love the pretty girls and boys who give a peck on the lips every time they see friends, lovers, etc.? Isn't it interesting that that social butterfly could have just picked up herpes, or had it and now you have joined the club. Congratulations.

I ended up in a debate with a woman active in the swinging scene June 2013.  She very carefully warns her potential partners to be aware of STD’s.  She very carefully leaves out one point.  She is fairly sure she has herpes.  So as far as she is concerned, she has informed consent when they have sex with her.

Another interesting fact, herpes does not survive on a non-living surface so it is up to your friend, lover, pet, dominant, hookup, etc. to do you the kindness of passing it on to you.

Do you find that babe or dude hot, one of the triggers for a herpes outbreak is sexual excitement. How hot is that?

Do you love rimming? Wouldn't it be grand to get herpes in your ass or from someone’s ass? That is also called genital herpes. Even better, getting herpes from the ass, you then have the bonus of HSV-2, but on your mouth.

Herpes is mostly not tested for in general, let alone before the first kiss. And the minute you kiss someone else, you start the countdown clock for the infection and have to wait; months. If after testing and not including it in the battery, oral is performed, the herpes is spread to the genitals and it becomes genital herpes, but still HSV-1.

"About one-fifth of all people aged 12 and up in the U.S. are infected with the HSV-2 virus that causes genital herpes, but as many as 90% don't know it. (By comparison, experts estimate 50% to 80% of adults have oral herpes.)" from WebMD since I don't keep up on exact numbers. It is interesting that the statistics for herpes (HSV-2) and child molestation are about the same in Massachusetts.

The information that has not been around for more than a few years; they used to need you to be in the middle of an outbreak and they would pop the blister to see if it was herpes. Low symptom people went undiagnosed. Serologic, or blood, testing allows screening of individuals for infection with herpes simplex. The new tests for herpes, called type-specific serologic tests, distinguish between HSV-2 and HSV-1. These newer tests detect IgG antibodies directed against the cell wall protein specific for HSV-1 or HSV-2. Older serologic tests did not reliably distinguish between HSV-1 and HSV-2 and, as a result, were not a reliable way to make a diagnosis of genital herpes. But keep an eye out, false positives do happen.  The old way of going in within 24 hours of noticing a blister is still the best test.

-Special news just for all those who love to suck toes-

Herpes whitlow (herpetic whitlow) is a painful infection that typically affects the fingers or thumbs. Occasionally it occurs on the toes or on the nail cuticle. Herpes whitlow can be caused by infection by HSV-1 or HSV-2. HSV-1 whitlow is often contracted by health care workers who come in contact with the virus. It is most commonly contracted by dental workers and medical workers exposed to oral secretions. It is also often observed in thumb-sucking children with primary HSV-1 oral infection (autoinoculation) prior to seroconversion, and in adults aged 20 to 30 following contact with HSV-2-infected genitals.

Symptoms of herpetic whitlow include swelling, reddening and tenderness of the skin of infected finger. This may be accompanied by fever and swollen lymph nodes. Small, clear vesicles initially form individually, then merge and become cloudy. Associated pain often seems large relative to the physical symptoms. The herpes whitlow lesion usually heals in two to three weeks.

No, I never had a cold sore and I don't have herpes.  I always include the HSV-1 and HSV-2 tests in my testing since it became available.

This is so far the best explanation of the process and pieces of submission I have read.  With the permission of the author, I'm posting it.  Link to the authors profile zioneye is:   http://www.collarme.com/personals/v/294665/details.htm

I work as a cook (which I love) but part of my job is serving customers (which I used to hate). The only part about serving customers I liked was that it gave me the opportunity to meet a lot of hot women. I was only nice to hot women and I would bend over backward trying to cater to their wants and needs. To everybody else I was indifferent or flat out rude. I didn't mean to be rude, it's just that I hated having to serve people and it brought out the worst in me. After a time it started to bother me though. I would feel guilty about the pampering treatment I would give to the women I was attracted to (whether they appreciated it or not) and the contempt I held for people that I was not aroused by. I realized that acting like an asshole is the same thing as being one, and so I decided to try and change. 

I started to give everybody the same type of service once reserved for only boner inducing women. It turned out to be easier than I thought. For the most part I found that the majority of people were so grateful to be catered to that I actually began to enjoy serving just to make people happy. The only problem was that there were still that small percentage of complete asshole customers that could easily turn my mood sour and I would for a time go back to being rude to people after an unpleasant encounter. On one hand I knew that you just can't please everyone and some people are never pleased anyway, but on the other hand it still bothered me that these very few people could so easily ruin my day. 

I started to identify the most difficult customers, and think about what exactly it was they were doing that I was unable to deal with. I found that their most common trait was that they demanded things rather than ask for them, and that my difficulty in serving them was just my hurt feelings for being ordered about and treated poorly. I decided to take my ego out of the equation and to just do my best to meet their demands and then let it go if they were still rude and ungrateful to me. That sort of worked, it was really hard to swallow my ego, especially when my ego had started to swell from all the praise and appreciation I was receiving from all the customers who enjoyed my service. 

Then one day a man walked in and I already knew exactly what he was going to say because I'd been mocking him to my coworkers for weeks...  "I want this and I want that and not too much of this and more of that"

The guy just made me want to punch him in the face rather than make him something to eat, but for some reason that day I decided to beat him to the punch. Instead of dreading the moment he started demanding me. I offered right off to run fetch all the difficult things I knew he wanted, and for the first time he smiled and said thank you. I began trying that tactic with the rest of the difficult people and one after another they stopped being nasty and demanding and began glowing with gratitude every time I served them.

Since then I've really begun to love serving people and I enjoy rising to the occasion when someone particularly demanding comes my way. It brings the best out of me and keeps me sharp and honest and reminds me that I can always do better.

So... um... why did I just write all that?  Oh yes hot women!

After all this time serving people in general, I've come to wish to find a woman to serve in a more formal and personal manner. I want to find someone to pamper and treat like a queen. Someone I can get to know and anticipate her wants and deliver them without her even needing to ask. I used to want to find a dominant woman because I wanted to experience all the kinky things I'd been fantasizing about my whole life, but somewhere along the way during this process of learning to serve others (and realizing that it was all fueled by my desire to please women that led me to it). I have come to not care whether we do anything kinky or not. I'll leave that up to her if we do. I'd just like to be allowed serve her and and see her happy and satisfied.  Hopefully I'll find her.

And from his journal: 

I feel I have a lot give. I’m not submissive because I think that I have less talent or abilities than other people. I just realize that my best talents, and my strongest abilities, lie in areas of support rather than the lead. In fact I can be far more effective if my tasks are laid out for me, and expectations are assessed to them. I think too much, I am able to imagine too many possibilities, and I need someone, to help set and define which problems, or projects that I’ll be working on or concentrating on for the time being.

http://www.spikednation.com/content/weekly-image-gallery-11102012

Tease and denial, ruined orgasm and exactly what a man should sound like all the time.  http://xhamster.com/movies/250582/amber_rayne_psycho_handjob.html  I got this surfing profiles and may be adding credit for the finder if he so wishes. 

I posted a story a while back about someone I met and played with in an office park.  Not really play, we just talked and I scratched him as we talked.  Nothing more.  When I unzipped his pants, he came.  So, someone sent me a link that is similar in general method and had the same result.  http://xhamster.com/movies/958163/ruined_under_her_heels_in_chastity.html

Okay, super tired, so deal.

To all the dominants that read my proifle and journal, if you use my ideas you should credit me. Thank you for your patronage, please tip the waitstaff appropriately.

To the subs that are using it for wank fodder, please remember that my pets either freeze or eat their cum. Recycling is all of our responsibility.

When you shove corn up his or her hole, add a sticky that says, "JJ was here"

When you make a cum popscicle, add a stick and write on it "JJ, so cool"

When you send your date to the bathroom to make 'special' salad dressing, when they return a bowed head and 'Thank you JJ' would be good.

Feel free to improvise.

If ayone knows the name of the endlessly hot bottom in the Carmen video link, I'd love to know it. She's with someone else now so he is out there. If you had a name and contact info, I'd buy you dinner. I can't afford Capital Grille, but something mid range I can totally do.

LOL and I didn't even use liquor or drugs to get this high, just spent the whole day talking about pain.

Kthxbye
So you’ve decided to contact me, or more rarely, I contacted you AFTER READING YOUR PROFILE COMPLETELY; ALONG WITH YOUR JOURNAL IF YOU HAVE ONE. 

Did you do the common sense, courteous, intelligent thing and, at minimum, READ MY PROFILE before writing to me, probably not? 

When you tell me you want advice. I know that you think I am a charity and have no job, no life and endless goodwill. You’re wrong. Kthxbye 

When you tell me you want online anything. I know that you think I am your virtual sex assistant, unpaid of course. You’re wrong. Kthxbye 

When you tell me you need time to get x, y or z together before we can meet; why bother me. Go do it and pretend I don’t exist until you get your personal shit together. Kthxbye

  When you contact me even though you are losing your hair/overweight, I know that you did one of two things. You decided that what I need is not important, or you didn’t read my profile. Kthxbye 

When you contact me and you don’t want/need control, pain and sex with ONE dominant long term. You think I am your blow up domme aka mindless hole. Kthxbye 

When you are so eager to serve, but not obey, you are not capable of being my pet. Kthxbye 

When you just want to lick some part of me forever, you make me quake and shiver; in absolute disgust. Kthybye 

If you scare easily, my casual talk on how to protect yourself when meeting strangers will make you piss yourself. You actually then want what I will do in person? Really? Excellent, if you also fit what I seek.

New fun stuff 

On this one, I'd be the dominant.  So don't even think I come close to switching.  Except I'm not lost enough to spit on my own arm.  http://www.xvideos.com/video197805/anal_expedition_part_1#_tabFavs  Seriously, this is fun, but not practical.  I am super aware of STD's.  If I slutted around like this or had a pet that did, at minimum herpes would be an almost certain result.  Not something I want.  I like the action and it is a way of being not the multiple participants that I am enjoying.

On this one that was sent to me today from a little boy in Thailand, so hot.  http://www.bdsmstreak.com/video/5993/cock-sounding-cbt-homemade

Something I forget because to me it is just normal.

I have never had a mainstream only relationship.  I am me.  Anyone that dated me, male or female, got me.  I took control, I took them where I wanted to go, how I wanted to go. 

The only time I had trouble was when I got involved with the scene.  The terms that mess people up.  The rules that have nothing to do with just being humans that connect, talk and build trust. 

Guess what, when I didn't say I was a dominant, I dominated.  When I spanked and then whipped someone, I didn't say I was a sadist.  I just was.

When I wanted to fuck someone's ass, I went to the fridge and found a carrot, zucchini, cucumber, candles, small bottles, whatever; then gleefully shoved it up their ass or pussy.  Works. 

When I wanted to spit in someone's mouth, I grabbed their hair and gave them all the time in the world to realize what I was about to do.  Hmmm, will the consent police be at my door any minute?

My advice to you and to remind me is, just live your damn life.

I've set a deadline for myself.  If I don't find anyone I want by then, I will focus on just meeting people and being me.  Screw this crap.

2-14 *135, 38DDD/E-30-38  Current - 4-28-13 169, 5-5-13 168, 5-12-13 167, 5-19-13 166, 5-26-13 165, 6-1-13 Sick.  If you ever end up in the hospital, ask nicely about seasonal stuff.  I scored juicy fresh strawberries and always got two cups of green tea at a time.  Sucks for weight loss.  I do recomment the baked haddock, but not the greek salads.  6-14-13 170, 6-21-13 170, 6-28-13 169, 7-5-13 168, 7-12-13 168, 7-19-13  167, 7-26-13 167,

CATFISH - Something they should do on Collarme. I'll add to this as interesting stories come up.

The main theme is lying scumbags online who mislead people so they can boost their pathetic low life self esteem at the expense of another. Sickening. The other being those who make promises/commitments and then break them by cheating. Sickening and should be punishable with castration.

OMG, female and her male cousin create a fake male so she can supposedly help her friend get confidence. Phone sex, engagement, reminds me of online, except this story is about someone trying to help. In a clearly dysfunctional, twisted but effective way in the end.

I wonder how the fin dommes and the atm's would check out. It's not like the scam seems to require much. Steal pictures from someone attractive and somewhat prolific in posting pictures, but is not famous. Then whine about your bills and looks for suckers. Or brag about your manision and then wank when you get someone willing to talk to you. Eww.

SAME LOVE
Macklemore & Mary Lambert

When I was in the 3rd grade
I thought that I was gay
Cause I could draw, my uncle was
And I kept my room straight
I told my mom, tears rushing down my face
She's like, Ben you've loved girls since before pre-K
Tripping yeah
I guess she had a point, didn't she
A bunch of stereotypes all in my head
I remember doing the math like
Yeah, I'm good at little league
A pre-conceived idea of what it all meant
For those that like the same sex had the characteristics
The right-wing conservatives think it's a decision
And you can be cured with some treatment and religion
Man-made, rewiring of a pre-disposition
Playing God
Ahh nah, here we go
America the brave
Still fears what we don't know
And 'God loves all his children' is somehow forgotten
But we paraphrase a book written
3,500 years ago
I don't know

And I can't change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
And I can't change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
My love, my love, my love
She keeps me warm [x4]

If I was gay
I would think hip-hop hates me
Have you read the YouTube comments lately
"Man that's gay"
Gets dropped on the daily
We've become so numb to what we're saying
Our culture founded from oppression
Yet we don't have acceptance for 'em
Call each other faggots
Behind the keys of a message board
A word rooted in hate
Yet our genre still ignores it
Gay is synonymous with the lesser
It's the same hate that's caused wars from religion
Gender to skin color
Complexion of your pigment
The same fight that led people to walk-outs and sit-ins
Human rights for everybody
There is no difference
Live on! And be yourself!
When I was in church
They taught me something else
If you preach hate at the service
Those words aren't anointed
And that Holy Water
That you soak in
Is then poisoned
When everyone else
Is more comfortable
Remaining voiceless
Rather than fighting for humans
That have had their rights stolen
I might not be the same
But that's not important
No freedom til we're equal
Damn right I support it

I don't know

We press play
Don't press pause
Progress, march on!
With a veil over our eyes
We turn our back on the cause
'Till the day
That my uncles can be united by law
Kids are walkin' around the hallway
Plagued by pain in their heart
A world so hateful
Some would rather die
Than be who they are
And a certificate on paper
Isn't gonna solve it all
But it's a damn good place to start
No law's gonna change us
We have to change us
Whatever god you believe in
We come from the same one
Strip away the fear
Underneath it's all the same love
About time that we raised up

Love is patient, love is kind
Love is patient (not crying on Sundays)
Love is kind (not crying on Sundays)
Love is patient (not crying on Sundays)
Love is kind (not crying on Sundays)
Love is patient (not crying on Sundays)
Love is kind (not crying on Sundays)
Love is patient (not crying on Sundays)
Love is kind (not crying on Sundays)
Love is patient (not crying on Sundays)
Love is kind (not crying on Sundays)

This is so gay, in all the best ways. I'm not gay, I'm bi, but the lyrics work for me.

I discovered something new today and I have been laughing my butt off.
I seriously don't put much effort into learning the labels that are applied to BDSM stuff. Being around long enough and one gets educated by osmosis and trial and error. Not that I haven't gone to a few classes, I do recommend them. So today's term, ruined orgasm.
LOL. Oh my god, I've been doing it wrong. LOL. Long ago and not so far away, I met a masochistic submissive who asked me to ruin his orgasm. So I did. It did not feel anywhere near as good as what I just found out is the industry standard. LOL. And I used tools. LOL. I did it many times over years and he never said a word. He just let me do what I wanted to ruin his orgasm.
On the tease and denial front, why bother to tease someone unless you can bring them to tears, begging and sobbing? Who is turned off by a man or woman whimpering?
When he did the little spurt thing and stayed hard, I just counted it as a lucky thing I could keep on teasing and I'd be more careful to keep it from happening during the rest of the time. LOL.  I wonder if that means fireplay isn't when you stick a candle up a pets as lit end first, lololol.
I've updated my memory and will keep it in mind when I need a laugh.
Since it's in the same vein and really good, a video link one of the pretty toys on cm sent me. So hot. http://xhamster.com/movies/2003824/chastity_vibrations.html

If you need a laugh, you have to read this.  The second one is the best so far, but there are pages of it and I am working my way through it. http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B000KKNQBK    On a kinky note, I do believe this would make most people beg very sincerely.  I need to go shoppipng.

Hyperbole, a day at a pool aka putting your money where your mouth is
I love the word hyperbole; the sound. Even when people mispronounce it, it evokes amusing images.
I hate what it means and how so many people use it because they never will be, or do, what they say.
"I would die for you" I met a man who would say that to me. It was so easy to discount that as hyperbole, but a pool party provided an amazing experience.
I told him while we stood at the edge of the pool, "I'm going to drown you and you are not going to fight me." Then I pushed him in.
Over the next period of time, I held on to the edge of the pool and pushed him under and held him down. The first few times; he reached the end of his air and struggled the tiniest bit. I waited a few seconds more and released the pressure and he came up for air. This continued for quite a while, but after the first few times he didn't struggle.
He got more and more tired, then exhausted. Finally, when I released him, his arms and legs were too tired and though struggling weakly he couldn't get back up. I pulled him up, let him breathe and pushed him down again. Two more rounds of having to pull him up and I was done.
I pulled him up and to the edge of the pool and he got his breath back. A couple of men from the party came over and helped him out and to a lounger. That is how I knew he was mine and meant what he said. He was my slave a total of 9 years. He died. No I didn't kill him.
I am not SSC. I am mostly RACK, read my post on it to see where I diverge/disagree.
Things I knew prior to that experience:
-He was in general good/excellent health
-He had no health or phobias that would be triggered by this.
-He had not eaten anything in the previous hour or so that he might vomit up and choke.
-We had a crowd of kinky people, some of whom were watching what we did pretty intently.
-This was not prearranged, nor discussed with him or anyone else. It was in the moment, but I do think before adventures on or over the edge. Note this is a difference between life and scening.
This memory was evoked talking to the typical 'slave' type who started out with 'I am whatever you want me to be' and then when talking brought up SSC:
Safe - I am not safe. Safe is online hyperbole and fantasies. I am not interested in online except for information. I am aware of and assess risk.
Consensuality - at my level it's consensual non-consensuality. When enough trust is built on each side, a commitment is made/sought that I am in control. If not, we won't fit. If you offer it up front, you are a liar or a fool and useless to me. He could have swum away, pushed me off or just said no. He chose to submit and trust.
Sane - Well, that is what this story may help decide. If it is insane to you then so am I.

STABLE - I DON'T HAVE ONE.  For some reason, projecting or what, I get these emails about joining my stable.  I decided to edit this.  If I win the lottery all bets are off. 

If I did have a stable, it would be a reverse harem made up of little boys and girls 25-30. All open sexually, all there for sybaritic, obscenely twisted sexual escapades to keep me entertained, oh and they make obscene amounts of money that they can't wait to hand over. Because what the hell would I do with them otherwise? And of course, all completely, unrestrainedly, devoted and in love only with me. Throw in brain washing to make them suicidal without me and we have a nice Stepford deal. So my theoretical application for my imaginary stable would require that each person look up the life insurance table for height and weight. Each person would need to be on the bottom of the weight scale for their height. If toned and at the bottom of the lower weight limit, with an IQ of 140 minimum, a 4 year minimum degree, insanely masochistic, a full head of super straight and silky hair and clinically diagnosed nymphomania those people would be given priority. Add a tongue piercing, not replace add, to the list and that gets an automatic acceptance to a life of performing the most deviant sexual acts I can think up or discover so that I can laugh at the irony that is my life. Add in submission and I might even care.

There, that is my non-existent stable. Good for you all? Good, now get a freaking clue. I am a dominant, sadist that is looking for one person to reciprocally fulfill. I'll think about empire building after I get my entirely earned Goddesshood conferred upon me by the BDSM deity that keeps making all these other women Goddess x, y or z.  I was in such a good mood until the gazillionth time someone told me I had a stable they wanted to join. I got to wear my brand new boots and have a nice dinner with a nice sub who may make a good friend and then I came online. I'm going to bed.  I'm leaving this up, it shows what goes through my mind when people project what they want to see onto me and it's ridiculous so you know, I really do laugh at myself.  Intelligently proactive is the opposite of projecting your wishes in a nuance kind of way.

Rules for slaves - this is only a partial list

Expectations for subs/slaves and me.
Slave rules - for subs not all of this applies. Or another way to look at it is that it in introduced over time and level of commitment.
A partial list of my rules and expectations. The rules are subject to the specific people involved and realistic revision upon my determination that it is needed. It is partial because, as the interaction evolves, so do the rules. The expectations are not subject to revision, but are open for clarification. Rules for slaves - this is only a partial list.
1. No orgasm without permission.  Revision - I keep forgetting this until talking to someone.  My pet will be in chastity, except when I want him/her.
2. Daily contact, until/unless living in the same household.
3. No involvement with anyone else for romantic or physical liaisons (online involvement for either of these is included in the prohibition).
4. Ask permission before buying new clothes or changing your appearance.
5. When you wake up, you kneel, knees spread, hands on knees and masturbate without cumming while repeating out loud at least 5 times ‘I belong to J’.
6. Night time ritual, same but may or may not be allowed to cum. If allowed to cum, when orgasming you say, “I am cumming for you, J”. Depending on timing and circumstance, I will be there. If not, you will perform via cam or phone. This has nothing to do with online play. Before and again while masturbating, you kneel, knees spread, hands on knees and say “J loves when I freely offer my submission. I know things she enjoys, things she admires, and the things that make her most proud. Those are the things that I try to do the most often; I try hard to learn more things to make J proud and to please her, as well."
7. Always kneeling when speaking to me in person. (This doesn’t apply in public, unless I specifically say so.)
8. A text to my yahoo when you leave home (prior to living with me) and when you leave work.
9. Crawl, don’t walk. Exceptions, in the middle of cooking, serving something that has to be held or where common sense indicates, walking is allowed. (This doesn’t apply to public).  This one is subject to physical limitations and definitely realitic limitations. 
10. Open all doors for me.
11. Green tea available for me to drink.
12. Ladies Maid service will be expected. You will learn how to groom me appropriately.
13. Men, always clean shaven on the face. Other area’s, are dependent on me, but generally smooth below the neck for male or female.
14. You must be intelligently proactive.
15. When possible, be at the door to greet me on your knees, nude with knees apart, hands on knees. I will let you know within a half hour of when to expect me, at most. If strap on is part of our relationship, wear a plug while waiting. Enemas are done upon coming home. Strap on is part of my pets life unless health issues interfere.
16. Household chores are handled by the sub/slave. Slave is always paying attention to if things are in order around the house and tidies as he/she goes along.
17. Always nude at home.
18. Not allowed to close any door to any room you occupy, including the bathroom.
Expectations for sub/slaves and myself
1. Communication. Ask if something doesn't make sense. Tell if something is causing an issue. But don't question everything I ask, just to question.
2. Attempt perfect obedience. I say attempt because, realistically, I may ask you to do something unaware that there is some constraint that makes it impractical or undoable. Exception, sometimes I want to challenge you, sometimes I will set a task that is, or seems undoable. At that point your judgment, trust and sense of adventure get a workout.
3. A real connection. I am not interested in being a mentor. I am not interested in training someone who has an expectation that they will use me to gain experience for another dominant. If things don't work out, they don't.
4. You need to be open to exploring new ideas, sensations and mindsets, with me. Don't just say no automatically. Since a submissive has limits, I have to respect those limits. If there are too many, it makes me lose interest. A slave is required to be open.
5. Commitment to me. This ties into 3, but is important enough to have its’ own mention. Don't play games or play this as a game. Really commit to allowing yourself to be part of the process and interaction with me, not with me as "Mistress fill in the blank" If you want that, really, it is more decent of you to pay a professional to role play with you or to fill that role without any need for emotional connection on her part. This is my life, not a job, hobby or avocation.
6. Intelligently proactive. If you have learned something from experience that common sense says will be positive to do, don't always wait to be told. If something seems like it would be pleasant, consider me in that picture and decide whether the risk is worth the reward.
7. Trust me. Trust takes time. But to start, you have to allow a certain amount of blind trust and build on it. You also have to trust in your instincts. If it feels wrong, back to communication, say so. One thing I am responsible for is in providing a structure that you can trust and being a person you can trust to be there for you.
8. Open sexually. If you are too inhibited, I'll get bored. Being straight isn't an issue for a submissive, it is not a choice allowed a slave. Not being willing to kiss, perform oral, rimming, anal, strap on or intercourse would be a problem. From there, there are other things that I include as sexual, but are open to discussion. Only a slut for me or at my direction.
9. Respect and loyalty for each other. This is essential. I respect you as a person and that you are doing something important for me. I value that. You respect me as a person and that I am doing something important for you. I will stand up for my submissive/slave, I expect the same. Not stupidity. If you did or said something that was patently wrong to someone, I'd pull you aside and inform you of it. I expect the same. If someone insulted you, I'd stand up for you, I expect the same.

I have an almost serious, practically life threatening and totally mind numbing problem. I have more than 4 large closets full of clothes and I need to get rid of at least 2.5 to 3 of them. I just bought some really cool outfits.

All the people I know well, that could help me, are in California; except my friend in Texas who is totally the best gay man for fashion.  But webcams don't work for this type of thing.

Is there anyone out there with superb taste, near me, that just loves going through endless clothes and debating their merit? If so, I will be testing that before exposing myself, lol.

An excellent visual of a pet.  Hopefully it's the same photo for a long time.  The image is from a site called captivemale and the profile below added just the right caption.  http://www.collarme.com/personals/v/1622447/details.htm

Mood, very happy. I had a slave teach me something and I am feeling so free from a cage I didn't realize I had built.

Dark Side - Kelly Clarkson

Oh oh oh, there's a place that I know
It's not pretty there and few have ever gone
If I show it to you now
Will it make you run away?

Or will you stay
Even if it hurts
Even if I try to push you out
Will you return?
And remind me who I really am
Please remind me who I really am

Everybody's got a dark side
Do you love me?
Can you love mine?
Nobody's a picture perfect
But we're worth it
You know that we're worth it
Will you love me?
Even with my dark side?

Like a diamond
From black dust
It's hard to know
What can become
If you give up
So don't give up on me
Please remind me who I really am

Everybody's got a dark side
Do you love me?
Can you love mine?
Nobody's a picture perfect
But we're worth it
You know that we're worth it
Will you love me?
Even with my dark side?

Don't run away
Don't run away
Just tell me that you will stay
Promise me you will stay
Don't run away
Don't run away
Just promise me you will stay
Promise me you will stay

Will you love me? ohh

Everybody's got a dark side
Do you love me?
Can you love mine?
Nobody's a picture perfect
But we're worth it
You know that we're worth it
Will you love me?
Even with my dark side?

Don't run away
Don't run away
Don't run away
Promise you'll stay

KELLY CLARKSON lyrics are property and copyright of their owners.
"Dark Side" lyrics provided for educational purposes and personal use only.
Copyright © 2000-2013 AZLyrics.com

I got a wake up call last night, much to my horror.  I spent the rest of the night and most of today thinking about how I have let puppets train me in submitting. No more.

If you contact me, use common courtesy.  Start with Hello JJ, Hi JJ. If I see the word goddess, mistress, ma'am, miss or any of the idiotic labels that morons feel the need for, I will just delete the email.  If you don't fit what my profile describes and/or do not tell me exactly why you think you fit me, what your experience in bdsm is, what your expectations with me are and INCLUDE a clean, clear, face photo, I will delete the email.  If you tell me one limit over what I list in my profile, I will delete you, or stop talking to you.  I'll update this if I discover any more rot in my brain.

For the visually inclined and to clarify what I like and do, a list of some videos that show some of it. If it is on my checklist and not shown here, you'll have to rely on your own resources.

This one, I'd say is romantic, it is great except the dildo is so small it is imaginary. It has hair pulling and anything that has that has me smiling. Very pretty ending. http://xhamster.com/movies/1883222/strapon_fucking_my_boy_please_comment.html

While I'm fine starting there, it would move up to here. http://xhamster.com/movies/1555288/shower_strapon.html and then here http://xhamster.com/movies/351766/huge_strap_on.html maybe here http://xhamster.com/movies/156932/fisting.html

Good sex here, http://xhamster.com/movies/1834235/noomi_rapace_daisy_diamond_scene.html and on both sides here http://xhamster.com/movies/629974/daisy_diamond_strap_on_scene.html

For pain, my favorite is http://xhamster.com/movies/955882/prisoner_of_the_cruel_mistress.html followed by this because of his reactions and sounds. http://xhamster.com/movies/875055/whipping_torture.html

Dominance is just hinted at on film. I've only seen pieces of movies that had the feel right. So for the submissive aspect you'll just have to use your imagination and hopefully your mind.  A blog I found that I mostly agree with:   http://www.withinreality.com/typical.html

Today was exhausting, but interesting.

I found out that deciding to continue to play while talking to a company about an issue, is very entertaining. I hope she doesn't get fired since they record them. I did take the time to feel out her reactions a bit at a time, so that I was not rudely dragging in a bystander who might be unwilling or feel intruded upon.

I just wanted to see if I could make the boy blush since he promised he could. So mean, no blush. But he moaned and reacted very pleasantly for both of us.

I wonder a bit if she was just keeping us on the phone, it shouldn't take 45 minutes to reset a password. But she was great to talk to and jumped right into the spirit of the game.

I left the lube downstairs and had the boy grab a small bottle of oil I had and discovered that it was too thick. She suggested that next time I try apricot oil. I will try it.

We both laughed when she said "I hope your scene continues to go well". The world is full of kinky people. I am very glad.

I think I found a new variation on consensual non-consent, tame but fun.

I guess I get to start a list, only the complete fakes.  Assholes just get mentioned in among hopefully interesting commentary.  mattfromthesmoke a complete fake.  http://www.collarme.com/personals/v/1716842/details.htm 

I expect that he will change to a new profile and just do it again, but you can always use my tips to check in general.

If you want to test him, get his landline and at least two email addresses.  He will happily give you his cell.  When he gets into how much he wants to be vulnerable and begs you to take email addresses, email them.

He will try to get you to do a threeway IM so he can roleplay.  I've been contacted by the same endless stream of random abusers, wankers, online players and outright liars, with an occasional encounter with someone who might fit what I need.  I don't bother to name them, they're endless.  I've named two profiles, so far, in individual posts.  This one and one where the woman contacting me wanted me to beat her until she lost her 6 or 7 month old fetus.  Both of these people deserve to be known as what they are.

I need to re-post this since I mention it in my profile and because I am getting a lot of contact from people and all they want is either permanent chastity or castration.  The part that makes me so annoyed is a good percentage of them also want monogamy with their asexuality.  Do you want a side of fries with that?  Excuse me, but first, I'm greedy I use all parts of my pet.  Secondly, I like chastity as a tool for the torture aspect mostly with the control being a nice aphrodisiac and motivator.  Finally, if I choose to forego the use of a penis permanently, it would be because I've got a female pet.  Feel free to be as asexual as you want/need.  I'll join you when I'm dead.  Having said that, I hope this is somewhat entertaining and informative of my thinking.  

I just realized that I left out something because I'm so used to it.  I do like to lock up my pet when not in use.  That's not chastity, that is possession.

My friend Chastity and I.

I met Chastity many years ago.  We instantly hit it off.  We loved to torture people.  We were both very twisted and loved the overt and subtle.  But Chastity proved to be limited.  I find her a disappointment.

Chastity doesn't let you explode in orgasm.
Chastity has no real sense of humor.
Chastity can lead to cancer.

So we visit, but we decided acquaintanceship is better.

I take my pet and fuck until we can't walk.
I take my pet and make love until dawn.
I take my pet to the point where jerking off is work because there's not enough fluid to spare.
I take my pet and save that cum, vaginal can be a bitch, but it is still doable.

Then we go visit Chastity.  She is very happy to see us.  My pet is suspicious at first, but Chastity is fun, right?

Well, she is to me.
She takes my pet over and stops all that messy cumming.
She keeps arousal to a painful minimum.
She proceeds to show what happens when you go from 60 to zero.
The un-satiated arousal.
The deprivation and mental torment.
The need to cum replacing wanting to cum.
The wet/erotic dreams.
Then the wind down as the body says enough.  I don't care about cumming.
The sigh of relief.  Chastity hates the sigh of relief.  I think it's a howl.

I pretty much go along for the ride when Chastity takes control.  I spend my time laughing, getting lots of oral, submission and stuff.
I like to talk.  I know it's not obvious to anyone reading my writing.  I enjoy talking when Chastity has control.  It is one of the times when I think phone sex, dirty talk, erotic stories, etc., really come into their own.  Of course, I have to admit to being a bit of a sadist.  I am so ashamed (total bullshit), but I give in to the impulse to pet, stroke, lick, nibble and bite more.  Something about Chastity being in the house just does it for me. 

All good things must come to an end.  When the sighs of relief reach my psyche, I know I have to send Chastity packing.

It's my turn again, chastity gets locked up and ...

I take my pet and fuck until we can't walk.
I take my pet and make love until dawn.
I take my pet to the point where jerking off is work because there's not enough fluid to spare.
I take my pet and save that cum, vaginal can be a bitch, but it is still doable.

PS, this journal is an example of what happens when I run out of cigarettes and can't exhaust myself with sex.  I start thinking I'm funny.
 

I've been informed by a person on CM that I ramble.  Lol, yup.  It's all my third grade teachers fault, she ruined me for life.  My writing used to be clear, clean and bare bones.  She made me add detail and now I can't stop.  Since I don't write anything but business proposals for work, I'm not caring much, but it is funny. 

For those who like my ramblings, I have a profile on F--life with the same ID and additional things I wrote about.  Yes, F--life is cliquish, but if it is helpful, I'm not.

I talked to someone recently.  He fit pretty much everything I was looking for, but he was all offended when I said I might like to see him suck cock for entertainment and humiliation.  I have decided that I am going to be morally outraged at that and here's why:

1. He's done it before.  Even being a bottom for anal sex with a guy.
2. He liked it.
3. He has no medical reason to prevent it.
4. I'm the dominant and he said he was a slave.

Slaves are not allowed near me with lists of demands or limits, especially spurious ones.

I've been informed by a person on CM that I ramble.  Lol, yup.  It's all my third grade teachers fault, she ruined me for life.  My writing used to be clear, clean and bare bones.  She made me add detail and now I can't stop.  Since I don't write anything but business proposals for work, I'm not caring much, but it is funny. 

For those who like my ramblings, I have a profile on with the same ID and additional things I wrote about.  Yes, is cliquish, but if it is helpful, I'm not.

I talked to someone recently.  He fit pretty much everything I was looking for, but he was all offended when I said I might like to see him suck cock for entertainment and humiliation.  I have decided that I am going to be morally outraged at that and here's why:

1. He's done it before.  Even being a bottom for anal sex with a guy.
2. He liked it.
3. He has no medical reason to prevent it.
4. I'm the dominant and he said he was a slave.

Slaves are not allowed near me with lists of demands or limits, especially spurious ones.

The pain is killing me, guilt and irony. My inclusion of the physical characteristics I find attractive has rebounded in a very poetic way. Now, a large percentage of the people who contact me include some kind of apology for their looks not measuring up. This then generates a layer of distaste in dealing with another pile of self-esteem issues. I never apologized to anyone for my looks, they just are and they work for the person I'm with or we're not together. I'm a little above average on my best day and that's it.

In my teens and 20's, I dated people of all kinds, including some of the most insanely beautiful men and one woman. One that epitomized perfection was the most beautiful 22 year old boy I had/have ever seen, from a French speaking country, perfect, smooth cafe au lait skin from head to toe. He only had to shave once every several days and most of the rest of his skin was smooth, except crotch and legs. His hair was silky smooth and so dark a brown it looked black unless he was in full sun. In full sun his hair blazed with natural highlights. He had voluptuous lips that I wanted to spend days exploring. He had a completely toned 6' frame, he was funny, he majored in Theoretical Math which was a huge factor for me and he was submissive. I confirmed long ago that if someone is attracted to me, they are submissive at some level.

And when I kissed him, it felt like kissing my brother; null with a kind of nasty feeling of 'wrong'. It is the only time in my life that I said 'let's be friends' to someone I dated and meant it. What I learned from that was that I valued mind over matter, but I didn't discount matter as valueless. I also learned that until you spend time with someone, there is no way to know if it can work, regardless of everything else.

In my 30's, I dated two women that were truly beautiful and lesbian. One was very brief and the other lasted about 6 months. My scene 'friends' made sure to ask me why a woman so incredible was with me, deepening my feelings toward the scene and scene people. Neither of them worked out.

My partner for 9 years was a little above average looking with a full head of hair, slim, tall, very intelligent, very submissive, very masochistic and willing to follow me to hell if I chose to take us there. If he hadn't died, I would never have looked at another person, except for potential short term side trips into adventures with him participating; very rare and only for specific twists. Mainly it was one on one with no need for anyone else.

I do appreciate looks; I don't look for perfect, but wouldn't reject it if it wandered my way. Honestly, if someone exceptional does approach me at my age, they raise a red flag and so far, that's proved accurate. As far as I'm concerned, I seek out what attracts me (all of it, brains, looks, body, mindset, interests) and don't push in if there is no interest. I don't try to change people’s minds, or try to convince them that their preferences have no value. Straightforward, no bullshit, just me and what I wish others would do/consider when contacting me.

I once 'buried the rail' of a yacht in San Francisco bay. What I learned.

I can get sunburn on my ears and it sucks.

It is good when the dom and the captain are different people. The dom let me. The captain was pissed. I played with her breasts later and she didn't seem so pissed anymore. So sex will overcome common sense. After all, who lets someone bury the rail of a boat worth many hundreds of thousands of dollars?

Sailing is only fun in the tropics.

Aside from that, sailing is pretty boring.

Maybe if it was a tropical scuba expedition it would be fun. Maybe not.

Meaningless musing because I pulled an allnighter last night for work and my sleep is all screwed up.

To all the people who keep asking; including the moron below. No, I'm not a pro domme. If you feel an urge to send me money, feel free. If you feel like you might fit my needs, read the damn profile and do as I ask. If you think I wrote out what I am looking for just for the exercise, go away.

From: KnowSUBstitute Dated: 4/14/13 8:59 PM

Are you a pro dummy, ah pro domme?

Spring has sprung.

I have the guy that wants to pay me to watch him be fucked by a dog. Does that count as humiliation or being omni-sexual? Which, lol.

6 guys in the last three weeks want to hire me. Which, lol.

The 3 guys who want me to do something for some fetish. Which, lol.

Too many to count guys who send obnoxious emalis. I was talking to someone and when she said creepy, I realized that these are the people who live next door, our lawyers, doctors, and all the people around us. This is their only outlet. How sad is that.

Finally, 4 guys who want me to scene with them. Do I have to say it? Although I'll consider that one if they are in Europe or Asia and fly me out, pay for a hotel and say the magic words, no limits. LOL.

From:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BDSM - because it is a great explanation and icon of what I have always believed.  I'm referring to the above symbol, not the full Wiki.  

I'm a blend of RACK and SSC.  But for anyone who is timid, just consider me RACK.

""Safe, sane and consensual", commonly abbreviated as "SSC", which means that everything is based on safe activities, (I don't agree with the area I underscored, there is always a real risk, physical, mental and emotional, even in mainstream relationships.  I also think that the intent of that statement has been perverted by those trying to mainstream bdsm for their own agenda's, but that's my potentially, even probably, biased mindset.  I see it as, safe in being able to trust the dominant to have the submissive/slave's well being as part of their mindset and on the part of the submissive/slave, sane being not to do something with that person until you do trust them.) that all participants be of sufficiently sound/sane mind to consent, and that all participants do consent.^[4]

It is mutual consent which makes a clear legal and ethical distinction between BDSM and such crimes as sexual assault or domestic violence

.^[5]

"I do agree with the sane and consensual part, with the addendum that consensual non-consensuality can be part of it."

""Risk Aware Consensual Kink" (RACK), indicating a preference of a style in which the individual responsibility of the involved parties is emphasized more strongly, with each participant being responsible for his or her own well-being.  (I don't agree with the preceding.  If I am dominating someone, I have the majority of the responsibility, not all, but a lot.  I tend to think that that is just common sense, but that's my opinion.) Advocates of RACK argue that SSC can hamper discussion of risk because no activity is truly "safe", and that discussion of even low-risk possibilities is necessary for truly informed consent. Further, they argue that setting a discrete line between "safe" and "not-safe" activities ideologically denies consenting adults the right to and that some adults will be drawn to certain activities regardless of the risk), and that BDSM play – particularly higher-risk play or edgeplay – should be treated with the same regard as extreme sports; with both respect and the demand that practitioners educate themselves and practice to decrease risk. RACK may be seen as focusing primarily upon awareness and informed consent, rather than accepted safe practices.^[6]

Consent is the most important criterion here. The consent and compliance for a sadomasochistic situation can be granted only by people who are able to judge the potential results. For their consent, they must have relevant information (extent to which the scene will go, potential risks, if a safeword will be used, what that is, and so on.) at hand and the necessary mental capacity to judge. The resulting consent and understanding is occasionally summarized in a written "contract

"; an agreement of what can and cannot take place.^[7]

"Back to consensual non-consensuality, aka slave or even submissive.  Which means that with trust, I'm not going to be explaining or outlining what I do.  If someone doesn't trust me, they should not be allowing me to do anything.  If I'm playing on an edge, I do make the pet learn and understand the risks aka risk aware.  Lol, I do that just in conversation getting to know them.  Common courtesy.  Recently, about half of them whine about learning and the other half whine as if I'm a serial killer and as if I didn't just tell them that there is risk.  Courtesy and consideration do carry penalties it seems. 

More Labels

Slave - If someone is a slave, they are committed to consensual non-consensuality.  If not, they are not a slave.  Released only upon my death or theirs  (I'm sure there is an exception somewhere, I just haven't encountered it yet.).  Limits for slaves are set by the owner, not the slave; otherwise what's the point.  Someone claiming to be a slave and saying they were released because of work on either side, for example, was either not a slave or didn't have an owner.  They were just submissive to a dominant and things didn't grow to the full level of master/slave, or they're clueless.  I always start with submission.  No sane person takes on someone as a slave without finding out if that person will be a good slave for them.  No sane person hands their life over to a stranger.

I've found most that contact me and claim to be slaves have been reading too much crap, spout garbage at me about pretty much everything and very rarely are those who have experienced BDSM slavery.  I have encountered a few, less than 5 out of all the people claiming to be slaves that contacted me. 

Real slaves are people who have been taken against their will (not consensual or even consensual non-consensuality), are abused, used up and their lives are a living hell that usually ends with an early death.  They are not BDSM slaves.  They are not people on sites like this, unless the world has gone insane.  Those who say they seek it should go to the Far East and sign up on one of the pirate vessels or a brothel.  Then they can commit ‘suicide by other’ and not disturb the lives of the sane.  In BDSM, it is a relationship regardless of how close or distant the participants are or may seem in terms of mainstream relationships; sex, no sex, protocol to no protocol, etc.

Submissive - Ranges from people who have a laundry list of limits to those with very few.  Most of them require safe words.  They are people who consent to give up control on a limited basis. 

The reciprocals of the above terms are obvious or should be.  I don't care about the other categories like bottom, switch, play partner or fetishist.  Bottom's or play partner's aren't submissive, so I rarely have interest in them; except exercise.  Switches switch and I don't.  Fetishists are the ones that actually fit the cliché "It's not about you, it's about me."  They only care about their kink.  They don't have any empathy or interest in submitting.  They want their rush, their way, with no compromise.  I think of fetishists as the penultimate in self-centeredness and/or tunnel vision.  They’re very dominant, if you like cliché’s.

Masochist – This really is only my definition of this label because the mainstream one includes insanity as part of it.  A masochist is someone who is aroused or satiated by pain in some way and is mentally stable; the exception being the submissive that can be satiated with the thought that they are taking the pain as an aspect of submission.  They are a unique category.

Me:  Sadistic dominant only interested in masochistic submissive’s as a minimum.  Need I say more?

I decided to insert this response to someone who contacted me to ask if it is even possible to use consensual non-consent.

Your question tells me you have limited exposure personally and/or watching others real time.  The answer is yes, it is truly possible to have situations where the sub consents to be taken wherever the dominant wants to go and not be able to safeword out. I am talking about where the sub is pushed past their comfort zone, sobbing, screaming and begging.  There are a lot of people out there with a real need to see how far they can go, on both sides of the whip.  Even without pain, you have sexual and emotional (submission) scenarios that can push people really hard.

Also, when the chemistry is there, some masochists will end up flying so high that they can't safeword and it is really up to whoever is topping them to use their judgment.

Austin or Houston must have some SM clubs or parties.  If you're bi, the gay leather scene will have some pretty intense stuff happening more regularly, or at least the few I have been exposed to in Boston, New York and San Francisco.

I want to just give up on kink and become a fan of Asian actors.  Super hot eye candy, nothing else.

First on my list, Kim, Jae Wook, Korean. Now if he turned out kinky and liked older women, I'd be set. Second Kayo Satou or Kayo Satoh, Japanese, model, actress, ladyboy. Third Lee, Sang-woo, Korean. Fourth, Park Shin Hye, Korean, the woman who dressed as a guy in the film You are Beautiful/You are Handsome.  Tomo Yanagishita - there must be a cosmic rule that most really sensuous looking guys are gay.

I want a do over.  Today was a crap day.

I went to go to the store and my car wouldn't start. I went and got my extension cord from the garage and plugged in a charger for the battery. But since I was only going to run to the store, I didn't put on a coat. Wearing a tank top was not the best idea, only because I forgot one of the keys to the house. The one I locked of course. I just moved. I hate moving.

Fire department to the rescue. Door opened in 30 seconds or so, after freezing in the car for 25 minutes. But it gets better.

I waited 45 minutes in the house for the charger to charge my assumed problem, a dead battery, and with coat on and zipped I checked that I had the key and that it worked and went out.

Charge was still too low so I went to go back inside. The key fit, but the lock would not open. So, fire department, but this time the embarrassment of having the dispatcher unable to contain his laughter as I asked for help again.

This time they were there in 5 minutes, but it took 10 minutes to open the door. It turns out that even with a key, there is something wrong with the lock so I need to replace it.

Total for the day, bad day 3, me 1/2. I get the half because I keep laughing about having this kind of day and picturing the dispatcher who's day seems to have been brighter for the idiocy and I apparently supplied practice for team 2. Since I'm counting coup, I definitely earned my half point and my Irish cream and vodka. Now I just need a massage and lots of pain killers.

I seem to have given the wrong impression.  The events while mortifying, were funny as hell while they were happening.  I don't like to be embarrassed, but that is life and if you can't laugh at the absurd, what are you going to laugh at?

Female Supremacy, MY view excerpted from an email I sent.

I believe that each human being should evolve to the best and most useful being they can be. There are men and women who are fulfilled by serving. There are men and women who are fulfilled by taking control. I don't give in to wishful thinking or projecting. Men and women each have strengths and weaknesses.

I own my pet. I honestly don't care what other women do, that is their choice and I would fight for them to have that choice, including being the most debased depraved slave on the planet.

Not excerpted.

I am a real person and I try not to lose myself in the bullshit rhetoric or worse, sheep mentality. Each is a person, not just female/male. Those are a very real piece of who we are, but do not define all we can do and be.

So for the party line as I know it of female supremacy. GET THE FUCK OVER IT. You can and may need to submit to a woman, excellent. Try to do so, if you are a balanced being, with realistic expectations of both what you can give, take and need. You can and may need to submit to a man, not so good, but I am female. Try to fulfill yourself, if you are balanced, with realistic expectations of both what you can give, take and need.

I subjugate males and females so I am prejudiced with the worst thing, experience. I see people as people. I see fulfillment, growth, really good sex and laughter as the penultimate goal.

It's all about me/you.
Every time I read or hear that, I laugh. I generally can't keep a straight face when saying it. Why?

It's all about fulfilling the needs of two thinking (an assumption, but one I cling to) people. That fulfillment, in my case, comes from taking control of someone who is my reciprocal and needs to be controlled.

It's all about me/you; is a shallow aggrandizement of whichever party is saying it. That service, dedication, dependence and obedience is all about both of the people involved. But I do get to laugh a lot more than them.

Or, it's all about any number of permutations of the statement above. I didn't write them because as I pictured the words, I realized it was a book. I'm not that good of a writer, or that interested.

So when someone says that, I know that they are not thinking, not aware, not able to keep up with me in the depths of the mind and body that I revel in.

Or just lazy.

-Potential future profile - Feel free to read. 

PLEASE do not respond

About me:  I am a sadist, sensual, but still a sadist.  That means if you don’t get aroused at the thought of pain, you don’t really interest me.  I’m also a dominant with extensive and hopefully ever expanding interests.  If you feel a need to give up control of a majority of yours, and are aroused by pain, we might have some potential.  That’s the point of going to a site like this, to skip the initiation of the unknowing and find those at more advanced levels.  I’m straightforward; I don’t like games or players, daydreamers or liars.   I wear normal clothes, unless I choose not to do so.

Female supremacy, not so much, I can be with a man or a woman, dominate and torture either.  So women aren’t supreme to me.  They are human beings that I may or may not be attracted to.

That being said, I’m also a person.  I need a meeting of minds, not just bodies and will.  I like to laugh, explore minds and bodies.  I like it when I can make someone cry.  I also like it when I can make them laugh, feel exhilarated, taken, mutually respected, empowered, disempowered, used to exhaustion,  strong, fully alive and motivated to beg.   Manners are extremely important to me, not because of bdsm, but because your behavior reflects on me and I will distance myself from the overtly and openly crude.  That’s for private interaction at appropriate times.  When I cry, and it does happen, to be supported and know that I am real to that person.  Being real to someone is turning out to be the biggest handicap of online; I’m treated like a charity that is supposed to supply endlessly to others desires, or like being kinky makes me less than human.  My preferences are ignored, denigrated and demeaned.  My time is wasted because I spend so much of it reading self-directed ramblings and demands that I not have my own wants, needs and desires fulfilled.   The worst and most tiring are those that mold what they say to match me, when in reality there is no substance.

This is my life, not a job, not a hobby and not something I am ashamed of being.  I live privately and don’t feel a need to shout to the world what I do and with whom I do it.  But I don’t cower in the shadows; I’ve had fun at the clubs in and around Boston, New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles, a few conventions, play parties, Folsom Street Fair.  One particularly interesting Folsom run, I even volunteered at a booth to beat people to raise funds for one of the bdsm teaching organizations.  It was fun, mainstream, curious people getting a taste of sensual pain and loving it, teaching a little dom how to treat his lady, being challenged by a leather dude to make him feel it.  It was one of the rare occasions that I got high and disoriented off of playing with strangers.  I even learned something.  I also need someone to ground me; luckily I had someone at the time to do just that.  I also learned not to give bare handed spankings to painsluts.   I met the challenge, but boy did my hand ache.  I don’t crave or even need the scene in the end; I go with the flow of what’s of interest

 I will recoil in disgust if you want me to service you.  I do not serve.  I do not submit.  I control.

The person I share this with needs to be strong, confident and proud of who and what they are.  They need to crave someone to take that strength and mold it, guide it, control it and be the piece that fits mine to make a stronger whole.   They need to know what they need, want to grow, explore and expand their boundaries.  I prefer someone who will not be micro-managed once a foundation is in place, but will be thoroughly controlled.  A weak person makes me sad and frustrated because I can’t feel anything for them but pity. 

The paradox, as if all of this isn’t, is that I love to have someone beg; but only if they are strong.

Balance; integrate mainstream life and the thread of bdsm that runs through it.  FLR, TPE or slave mindset is the level I’m at.  I had it and I miss it.  I miss my pet on his knees asking if I wanted something, glancing up from reading to see him tidying up, sharing jokes, problems and ideas.    Watching his body writhe, knowing he wanted and would take more pain, both for me and himself.  Driving to the dive site for scuba and seeing a different world; going to a play and dinner, hanging with a few friends and watching him squirm and blush as we talked about him, having him thank me for the experience after.  I later had someone that almost worked, but in the end, she couldn’t stop testing me and I could never just be with her until I broke her down.  I don’t have the interest in taking someone down each and every time we are together.  Building trust is one thing; an important thing for both, poking at it to see if you can break it is another.  Some things I enjoy, being bathed, groomed, serviced and obeyed.  I am happy with; a night at home, talking, watching a show, sharing wine, teasing, tormenting, having sex, making love or trying to make that persons cry, sob and scream, sometimes even all in one night.  Tease and denial, edging, getting someone to sincerely beg to be allowed release, are nice ways to spend time.  I sometimes enjoy going out to dinner, talking, laughing and going with the feel of the moment.  The checklist is extensively filled out to provide a glimpse of me as well.

Someone once called me a sadistic romantic.  It fits, to a point.  I’m not distant.  I am cold, passionate, nurturing and cruel.  They are all part of me.  But, I’m also demanding, controlling and exacting.  I don’t relate to my pet as just an object, although I may objectify them at times.    I challenge and am challenged in turn.  The world won’t see much, but we will.   The world won’t know that before them are two people; a dominant and her pet, exploring right in front of them.  I’d rather have hard, pounding, marathon sex, more often than soft and gentle.  Being contrarian, I like sensualists who are able to touch and be touched.   I'm not dreamy eyed, I'm pramatic.  If someone give's me a dozen roses, I mourn their death and wish I had gotten a miniature rose bush to plant.  I'm not sweet, I leave that to the subs. 

Physically, I’m attracted to thin, sleek, runners bodies, on men anyway.  A full head of hair is required because I love to pull it. 

About you: a clean, clear photo of you as you are now, an introduction of the person who has decided they think they may fit me and hopefully why, your experience and how long you have served someone, whatever else you want to share.

Contact says: god id love to worship you.

My response: Hello no name,

Right after I slap you silly for sending me a one liner. What's up with you? You beg on your profile to find someone real and act like a punter when contacting me. I'm not your domme, but I am a person and I have taken the time to clearly say what I want and how I want it along with an invitation to keep going if it is too much for some poor subs fingers and brain to handle. I don't ask for money, or kneeling while typing or any other crap, just clear communication of the information that will let me know who the hell you are and if there is a chance it could work.

You want to submit, learn courtesy. It will help you in every aspect of your life.

Note: I'm posting this to my journal, without your I.D., since it epitomizes so many of the contacts I get.

Stay warm,

JJ

Lol, I have a renewing fetish for Asian men.  So sad. 

Just got sent a clip and I am forcing myself outside to snow blow, while super aroused by having seen a guy stay hard through a scene.  I have to get to Japan and Korea.

I have a vicious bug, sore throat, ear ache, head ache, bones ache, my eyes keep trying to explode, coughing, sneezing, and phlegm.

I can now tell anyone accurately exactly how I am when I am sick.  But I don't have to, my comments below show how bitchy and pissy I am when I am sick and irritated. 

1. I have no patience.

2.  I am more annoyed than normally by the stupidity and rudeness of people.

3.  I am cranky

If you are routinely told by people that you are an idiot, selfish or any other colorful descriptive, don't talk to me.

If you have no friends to routinely tell you that you are an idiot, selfish or any other colorful descriptive, don't talk to me.

If you don't feel that your manners are impeccable enough to be invited to dinner with your God, or the mother of your boss, while wearing a shock collar that is keyed to Miss Manners, don't contact me.

 Notice, I am so sick all I can think of are double negatives.  That is a bad sign.

 I'm trying to clear the backlog of emails and distract myself from pain.  Really, the profiles are ten times better if I just read them and never talk to the people behind them to destroy my illusions.  Then I can imagine personalities and intelligence that patently is not showing any signs of existing in the actual person.