"As I search through this valley of lonely wait, I know deep in my heart that I will see what there is for me to see. I know this calm uneasy feeling that takes over me and holds tightly onto my heart. Deep ache and sorrow penetrating to my very soul. Longing for someone to direct the mixed colors of my world to make my world a Picasso. Show me the way......" me
I can not write about what the importance of being a submissive to me because, I have not been a submissive for any good amount of time to a Dominant. It would be an invalid writing, for my discovers about being a submissive changes and grows within me.
Each Dominant partner i have had has given me pieces to the puzzle...The freedom to be myself and not be scared. They have taught me that society doesn't understand my needs and desires for happiness. To be strong in my choices. To look and see myself as a valued gift.
The honesty and respect that goes hand in hand with this lifestyle is so very important to me. I may be naive in my thinking but i believe in them. That my Dominant partners were honest in answering my questions and about themselves.
Trust is an issue I have dealt with for a very long time. As i look at myself in this lifestyle I think that will my biggest obstacle and challenge. I enjoy pain and I seek it for the challenge. Is there any difference than heading into the lions den of trust and laying your body and life down in front of a chosen one?
The thrill I get when I am asked and knowing i will be safe no matter how far one may take me. This being a submissive has much deeper level, a bond that you cannot find easily. I come willingly, why, because my heart has attached to his. I believe in him and he sees something inside of me that he holds very fragile. He sees greatness in me, something i can't see in myself. I only want to please him and will stop at no cost for it. Pain, pleasure, I will take it all. Erotic scenes, making love or being used..taken, raped and then held, caressed and kissed. That feeling of love is what I crave. These are not normal thoughts and desires. Maybe they are and I'm strong enough to admit them.
I have this voice inside of me lingering and talks to me..its like being drawn to a light..mesmerized, slowly being pulled in. My heart beats harder, to feel the adrenaline rush..becoming unaware of your body and mind, and focused to the words of command. I am free for that time. I am happy. That voice is me.
