11/22/2005 9:50:18 PM: Been a bit since I wrote here.Had a bit of a rough spot around summer.  I got back on my feet and back into the scene and couldnt believe how I ever forgot how connected I feel to this sexy, beautiful community.Been perfroming more in private as well as fairly regularly at Bar Sinister, DV8, etc.  What can I say, I love the lime light, and the photographers are awesome.Always looking to meet new friends, and potential playmates.Anyone know of anything to do in San Deigo.  Seems so damn vanilla out here.

5/16/2005 5:18:13 PM: My, how time flies.Been hitting more Carnivale (guess who won the raffle!) and other clubs.  Getting a bit more varied in my hand play, electical play.Tried my hand and modeling for AMFKorsets at DomconLA.  Good time.May be sparse over the summer, and may be considering a move to Oceanside.  And that's the news.

3/6/2005 2:47:00 PM: I made it to Carnavale De Sade last night.  Felt a little under the weather but brought two friends, one as a test subject for her new electical props and one to start introducing to Dommeing.  We had a little electrical scene going, then I was introduced to two beautiful gals to play with (thank you Ken!).  Finished off the evening with some really fun handplay, electrical combination.  The style is coming along nicely, yet I learn more about it each session I get to play.  The intensity is very high, and I have to admit, I take a little pride in it looking like I took a paddle to someone when only using my bare hands.

2/25/2005 5:43:45 PM: Well, suffice it to say, I am not leaving the scene.   Im not so calous as to not care about my subs emotional state, but as much as I care, I cant be responsible for it either.I have been frusterated with the gear requirement of the wand.  Still love it but such a pain in the ass to set up and be tied to the area.So, been working in my hand play.  Last weekend, I really started to work in some of my more Kung Fu style movements into the mix.  They worked WELL, and was finally something for the crowd to watch.  :)  I may have to develop this further. 

2/17/2005 3:44:21 PM: Lets see,I am trying to keep a positive outlook on things, to see the balance that I seek through the turmoil I am seeing in my daily life.  We all look for limitations, because limitations are how we deffine ourselves.  Conversely, freedom can be both desireable and unnerving.I am trying to deffine what I want.  I have come to the harsh reality that I am emotionally stunned right now, trying to reach the levels I had, for the last four years, but unable to fully access them.  That has been hard on the sub I have been recently working with, and ultimately unfair as I cannot match the trust she gives.So, why am I here?  I welcome the avenue to excercize control.  I enjoy the sexuality of the scene.  The fact I can watch, but still keep my distance so to speak.I question if I should be however.  I am not the screaming, uber dom, the image so many here portray.  Perhaps my balanced approach isnt proper, too vanilla.  Perhaps I still have more healing to do than I thought.There are still avenues I wish to explore.  I am looking for the right person/people that I will accept and trust, but may not be able to do it even if I find/have found them.  While I sort myself out, I will still be seen, but perhaps not playing for a while.