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I'm considering the virtues of becoming a keyholder and perhaps seeking someone out who enjoys this particular kink.
I'd love to talk to people who do this and get their perspective on it. Feel free to get in touch. |
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If there is one thing I have learned from reading countless journal entries on here, it's that there are a lot of whiners, fantasists, people with unrealistic expectations and people who take this shit way too seriously.
We're here because we get off on certain sexual acts. Sex is supposed to be fun and relaxing. Getting off on kink doesn't make you some higher, mystical being or magically change how dating works.
Pull your heads out of your arses. |
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I really fancy going out into town for tea and cake. Would anyone local care to join me? |
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Effimo has a tiny, useless dick and loves to be my cock sucking little bitch.
Just sayin' |
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Happy Turkey/ Stealing-And-Colonising-First-Nation-Peoples-Land Day to my American cousins across the pond.
Maybe the British should celebrate this day more... |
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I'm quite looking forward to spring coming around because there will be an abundant supply of nettles to punish greedy pussies with.
Won't that be fun children? |
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Also if you live locally and should ever want to meet, I regularly attend the Brighton and Brighton U35 munches. I also go to the local poly munch as well :) |
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I've gotten quite interested in chastity and cuckolding/quean recently. Now I just need to find a willing volunteer who likes orgasm control and denial. |
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For those of you who are on FL, my username on there is CaptainJak. I tend to be more active over there than I am here. |
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I think I need a Geiko in my life. Anyone round here know how to perform a tea ceremony and play a shamisen? No?
Well it was worth a try. |
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"Our integrity sells for so little, but it's all that we really have. It is the very last inch of us, but within that inch, we are free."
"Every last inch of me shall perish. Except one. An inch. It's small and it's fragile and it's the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it, or sell it, or give it away. We must never let them take it from us."
- Valerie, V for Vendetta.
Why have I quoted this? Because I feel they are very relevent to any D/s relationship. You can give yourself to a Dom/me but you should still be you. Be who you are. No one can take it from you and you should never give it away or compromise your values or beliefs for anyone. Do not change because someone else wants you to. Change because you want to and because you feel it is right.
To submit and follow takes courage and strength. You are not a doormat and you do have a choice. I could not take on anyone who felt otherwise. Do not let yourself be treated as anything less than a person. To trust someone enough to follow them is a great strength.
It takes strength on both sides and respect. Both sides have challanges and responsibilities. |
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STUFF I'VE LEARNED ABOUT COMMUNICATING AND SELF CARE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I shall preface this by saying that this writing is a work in progress. I'm also still learning and practising a lot of things too and probably always will be. I'm also writing from a more poly point of view but I'll try to keep it general as possible. Finally, different things will work for different people; your mileage may vary.
Someone was asking me today about I go about this whole communication shenanigans particularly around jealousy and stuff like that. It was a good conversation and I was then promptly told I should write that shit down so here I am haha. This could get rambly and I won't be able to make it look pretty until I get to a PC because I'm writing on my phone. Anyways, I hope dear reader that you find this helpful or interesting in some way.
1. KNOW THYSELF
A well used phrase but true nonetheless. Getting to know myself, what I liked, wanted and needed has been super helpful when it comes to relationships in general. It's consciously and unconsciously helped me in partner selection which (hopefully) makes for better relationships. Definitely spend time thinking about these things. What are you looking for? What are your wants and needs? What do you bring to the table? What are your boundaries? (These things can be kink or 'nilla)
I also found that just generally knowing my strengths and weaknesses as a person was helpful to consider as part of getting to know me and liking myself. I liked making friends with myself and I still like going back over stuff and checking in with myself from time to time. I know it sounds all Dr. Phil and shit but I find this quite handy.
2. DON'T GET TOO STUCK IN THEORIZING THOUGH
Again, this is very much a YMMV thing but sometimes I just have to learn by doing rather than sit and theorize to death. So whilst getting to know myself and being aware of what I wanted through past experience was very helpful, sometimes the only way I'm going to know is by actually doing it.
Learning the hard way has not always been fun. I've been hurt and in other cases have hurt other people but what I've learned from these experiences has been invaluable and will lead to less hurt all round in the future. I've also learned fun and unexpected things that I never even thought of which has also lead to new insights.
3. JEALOUSY IS NOT BAD...
...It's what you do with it that matters. Jealousy can be a way of letting you know something is off. It can inspire you to try your best in your relationships. It can be a force for good. It can equally turn you into a dick if you let it.
The best bit of advice I ever read on jealousy came from Poly&Kinky. I forget who wrote it but someone said something along the lines of 'describe your feelings without using the word jealousy'. I found that super helpful because on the rare occasions that it does crop up, I really focus on the route of where it's coming from so my thought process looks something like this:
How are you feeling without using the J word?
Well, me, I'm feeling a bit neglected and this makes me feel insecure and sad and doubt my awesomeness.
Ok. What do you think will help whilst you work through this?
I think seeing/talking to my partner(s) a bit more would help and asking them for cuddles/reassurance would be useful.
Brilliant! Go tell partner how you're feeling and present this possible solution to them.
This is just an example but you get the idea. You may find it helpful to go through this process with your partner(s) but I find I have to sit with it on my own and do this bit by myself.
I also found separating feelings of envy and jealousy helpful. If I have the envy then I tend to find going out and doing more fun stuff with friends or myself works pretty well.
4. COMMUNICATE WITH PARTNER(S) TO DEATH...
... and then do it a bit more. I sometimes still struggle with this but I'm getting better with practise. I still don't communicate with finesse and can be quite...bull in a china shop but I'm getting there. Laying yourself bare is hard and I certainly find it easier to do with some people rather than others but I will always endeavour to be transparent with everyone about how I feel and my expectations.
Learning to talk about everything mentioned above though has been quite valuable though in maintaining relationships as well as friendships. Sometimes you just have to keep talking no matter how hard it can be. I sometimes need to stop and catch my breath to process and then go back to it again another time and that's OK.
I'm still exploring my own communication styles but I know that I don't like or do shouty. I'm just going to keep practising until I get it right.
5. TAKE CARE OF YOU
I like me time. I like doing separate things on my own outside of my partner(s). It stops me from losing myself within a relationship.
I also had to learn that doing things that harmed me repeatedly because I was so worried about hurting others was very not good for me which sounds really obvious on the outside but when you're in the thick of a people pleasing mentality, it can be so hard to get that. It took me some time to strike a balance between self care at one end of the scale and not being a dick at the other end (and for a while, I was a huge dick). It's perfectly possible to take care of yourself and not be an asshole. I'm not saying I get it right every time but I'm mostly OK at it now. Probably.
6. HAVE FUN AND KEEP EXPLORING.
Fairly self explanatory.
7. RELATIONSHIPS AREN'T THERAPY
The first time I saw that written down was a lightbulb moment so I wanted to share it here too. Being in a relationship isn't going to fix my shit even though the shiny honeymoon period can make it seem that way. Partner(s) can be a great source of support but they can't do all the work. I need to be helping myself too. Equally, you can't save/fix/rescue people and magic away their ills all by yourself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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Gun Oil H2O is a great lube. I recommend it. |
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I always smile to myself when I see things like 'True Master/Dominant/sub/slave etc etc' What do these things mean? Everyone has their own style of being or interpretation of BDSM and they are no more 'true' than the others. If you know what kind of person/style/interpretation you are looking for then that is awesome and more power to you but I think this True mentality needs to die a bit.
Some people like soft, more suble power. Others like more hard, overt power. Some like a mix of both or something else entirely. Neither is wrong in this lifestyle (unless it's abusive or non-consentual) in my opinion or any less valid than the other. If you encounter someone who doesn't match up with you and the dynamic you want then move on and don't get your pants in a twist about it. |
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I'm still working through some things but I am definitely better than I was. I suspect SAD may have had something to do with it but hey ho.
I have just starting getting back into working out again 6 days a week. I spent a few hours working out routines for the next few months. Once I'm 2 months in, I'll see where I'm at and change things up. I may try that Insanity workout if my fitness level is good enough.
I'm hopefully going to get a tattoo next month which I'm looking forward to. I want to get some text that I rather love done spiraling around and down my arm. It'll be a nice birthday treat to myself and hopefully a reminder of what I am capable of and what I strive towards.
So far, my year of self improvement is going well I think. |
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I have been feeling terrible again for the past week or two. I am still rubbish at communicating this fact to people so if I haven't replied to anyone, that's why.
I'm on a quest of self improvement and personal reflection right now so emotionally I am all over the place. That sometimes turns me into a dick and not in a good way. I just need a lot of me time at the moment. |
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I decided to do that Myers Briggs personality test for fun and I am apparently an INTJ type. |
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Bloody hell there are some really biggoted people on here.
I have been looking up pavlovian conditioning recently as a tool and also Stockholm syndrome. It occurred to me ,after reading a lot of journals on here and the way some folks write things, that there is a connection there and from what I have read that seems to be true. I plan on doing more reading on the subject. |
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Been researching Soviet and East German interrogation techniques. I am starting to put together some interesting ideas for scenes. The psychological fear side of it is fascinating.
Are there any experienced interrogators out there that would be happy to discuss the sort of things they do? |
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It's sad that I have ceased to be amazed by the amount of misogyny and transphobic bullshit that I see on this site. So much unchecked privilege. |
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Yet another encounter with a smart arse who thinks he's funny. Oh goody. |
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Once I have a net connection to my pc again, I am deleting this profile and creating a new one and before you ask, no I have not suddenly become a sub etc. I'm mostly just bored of this user name. |
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You know how I spend the majority of my time on here? I read peoples journals. It's a nice way to learn about people and a lot of them are very interesting. |
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I suspect all the Dommes are spam bots. |
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I seem to have had a small influx of views by Dommes today. How curious. I wonder why? |
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Making gluten free bread. It's rising nicely but I hope it tastes good. |
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NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOUR COCK |
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Learning Russian is a challenge but one I am greatly enjoying. I adore the language. |
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Occasionally I go through quiet spells either because of my mental health or because I am just finding interacting with people unbearably difficult. Sometimes I spent a little time sticking to people I find it easy to interact with and fly under the radar with others while I spend time recharging my 'people batteries'. It can be a little embarassing actually because I am never quite sure how to deal with it in a sensible way.
So if I have been quiet recently, I have not forgotten anyone and it purely is for the reasons above. There are one or two individuals on here that I am extremely fond of but I fear that they will think I have abandoned them when I have not :( |
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I am considering putting a Worthing munch together. Any takers? |
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I have a small challenge for those who wish to participate. Anyone can do it. However, it may seem simple but it is deceptively hard. It involves concentration, inner strength and patience. It may frustrate you and confound you or you may enjoy it thoroughly.
Intrigued?
Then drop me a line for details. I absolutely promise it won't cost you a penny. No websites, no tricks. |
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I had a very lovely 24h the other day. A friend (who I met on here) volunteered himself as a rope guinea pig and I couldn't say no. He's so adorable and sweet. I bound his wrists and did a basic chest harness on him. I didn't go nuts however I did start running my nails down his triceps and tickled him a lot. He was so funny wriggling around and made very cute noises. He was on his back at this point and his hair brush was handy so I spanked his inner thighs and balls with the back of it. His legs turned such a pleasing shade of dark pink. I suspect he bruised nicely :) |
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Who ever said that Doms can't be shy? |
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In other news, I look quite fetching in a gas mask. I tried one on for fun and it was a nice experience. I'd like to do a photoshoot in it. |
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Bought some orthopedic pillows today. They are lush. Looking forward to sleeping on them |
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I think I want to shave off my hair and live in a Buddhist or Taoist monistary for a while |
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Just got my U.S.S Enterprise Haynes manual. I am having a major nerdgasm right now |
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Sometimes I do wonder about people on here. |
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Have started compiling the Domme list. If anyone wants to contribute, let me know. It'll all go on a website eventually |
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A lot of people ask me about my health problems that I pertain to on my profile so I thought I'd write about it here instead.
I have mental health problems. I have Depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. That means I am prone to anxiety, paranoid behaviour and panic attacks sometimes. Sometimes I find it very hard to do basic things like get out of bed or eating. Sometimes I won't leave the house for weeks on end. I don't sleep well at night and I am jumpy around unexpected loud noises. I have had Depression for 6 years and PTSD for 5.
I used to feel enormous guilt about this. Why couldn't I function normally? Why do I have to live in fear all the time? Am I just weak? Is it just me being lazy? I should have done X, Y and Z by now but I haven't. Does that make me a failure?
No doubt if you've ever had mental health problems, you've asked your self the same question or have been accused of these things by others. The truth is that having a mental health problem is no different from having any other health problem but people are still ridiculed for it or hide it because of guilt or shame or the fear of ridicule. In the UK (65 million punters approx.) alone a quarter of the population will have a mental health problem at some point in their lives. I imagine that the stats will be similar in the US but you can look it up. So chances are you know or have met someone with a mental health problem. Chances are you've be affected by it in some way.
If you had a broken leg, you'd go see a doc right? It's no different for mental health problems. We're not nutters or crazy and people get better all the time. I personally take meds everyday and try and do things, even if they aren't big things. I go for courses of councelling and slowly but surely I am getting better. It's a long hard process and one you can only take when you are ready to. Some will cling to it because better the devil you know, right? I used to be like that. It was an old friend, not a good friend mind you but an old one. Eventually I was tired of being afraid, I was tired of self harming and of feeling numb. I was tired of not being able to tell if I was real or not. I was just tired. So I made the choice to seek help and fight to get better and it really is a fight. Sure there have been times when I've been ready to throw the towel in and I've had relapses. It's the nature of the beast but I know in the end I will win because I choose to. If it comes back again then I will fight it again.
So why am I telling you all of this dear reader? Because the world needs to be told. I don't write for pity or sympathy. I write about it in the hope that it may help someone out, that it will help someone understand. Finally I will leave you with 2 more statistics.
1. People who have schizophrenia are no more likely to harm or kill someone than the rest of us. The rates are the same.
2. Lithuainia has the highest suicide rates in the world. |
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I think there maybe some people on here that are not too bright... |
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I think it may be time for ice cream and more pain killers. |
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Qu'est-ce tu preference dans le BDSM?
(Don't mind me. Just attempting some French. I need to practice waaaay more. My French grammar is crap) |
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And so the wheel turns once more. |
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Still lying in bed with a temperature so I'm using the time to look up hypnosis techniques. |
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Hmm I'm torn between new latex, new rope or a new flogger as my next purchase. |
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Looks like I will be spening NYE in bed running a temperature, shivery and with a neck like a bull frog :(
Rubbish. |
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Yay my new books and Dvds are here!
*nerdgasm* |
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I have just read thre biggest load of sanctamonious horseshit I have come across in a long time.
Thanks for the laugh CM |
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Oh yes and I have finally gotten around to making my Love Honey wish list (for my own reference). Now I just need to save up and start buying the stuff. |
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Hello tonsilitis my old friend. Oh how I have not missed you. |
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Dear people who are thinking of mailing me,
Please, for the love of all things holy, try to use correct spelling, grammar and punctuation. It's not hard. Also please, please remember to thoroughly read my profile. Re-read it just to be sure.
I don't mind if people make mistakes as long as they are making an effort but if you're being obviously lazy or haven't read my profile then you won't get a reply and your message will be deleted.
Thanks x |
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What does 'under consideration' even mean these days? I see it written all the tive but it seems like a silly phrase. Someone either is your sub or they aren't. Perhaps it's a way to keep a few subs without the others knowing or something. Who knows? |
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I'm not actually using an iPhone. I have more sense than that. I'm using an Xperia because Android is awesome. |
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We now return you to your regular broadcast ;) |
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For the record, I don't work because of disability. I really struggle for money but I would NEVER EVER stoop to conning/begging for money. I would rather starve first than accept a penny. I will never ask for anything. Talking is free and should remain so.
Cheap fucks with no morals. You're not entitled to anything you didn't earn. |
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Also I am seriously fucking tempted to change this profile to male just so I wont have to be associated with financial/scammers/super bitches.
Some of you people need to get the hell off my planet. Preferabley moved to the Sun. |
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In between my new years project, I really need to start working out again and tone up. And do more Yoga to stay flexible. |
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You know what ticklrs me? People who think all women = sub. If you are not a sub then they just tell you that you haven't realized it yet or are deluding yourself or so on. These messages usually also include something involving the words, "you just haven't met the right master yet but I will break you because I am awesome blah blah blah".
Erm no. I am not a sub. I just get violent and angry if anyone tries that shit. It does not turn me on. It just makes me pissed off. If you are a woman and a sub then great. Do what makes you happy but we are not all that way inclined. If you are a man and a sub then good for you. This does not make you less of a person.
To all the mysoginistic, arrogant fucks out there, get the fuck over yourself and get with the times.
That is all. |
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I really want to learn how to drive right now. |
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You can only try and dare to live. Do you see? Do you feel? |
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I want to strip you down and see your naked soul. |
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Couldn't sleep again. I'm sat watching Ninja Warrior and thing of all that are dear to me. I'm thinking of those who are no longer here and those who are on their own today.
I am thinking of you :) |
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Do you know what I am most of all?
A human being. A thinking, feeling person.
Shocking I know. |
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Yes I am Genderqueer.
Yes I am Trans
Yes I am a Peoplesexual.
So?
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Is anyone actually subscribed to my journal or read it? I am curious |
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Have been asked to model shoes for a new website. This is intriguing |
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Also I will make a journal post about my gender at some point since I get a lot of questions about it. And a Pro sub list. |
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Merry Christmahannukwanzeid.
I have decided that as a new years project I am going to trawl Domme profiles and make lists of all the financial/money grabbing Dommes and then the Pro Dommes and list them (separately). By Pro Dommes I mean the ones that work in a professional Dungeon and are legit business people. Then I shall post these lists so you can find them or avoid them more easily. |
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Reading peoples thoughts on the journals is facinating. |
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I am looking forward to my new items arriving from Amazon. Mum sent me a gift voucher which I swiftly used to get my book/dvd fix. Especially looking forward to my Rae Morris book. She is a great artist. I think my next purchase in the new year will be one of the Knotty Boys books to improve my rope skills. |
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What kind of idiot tries to ban porn? From the internet no less.
"Oh wont somebody please think of the children!"
Oh hi. I'm the UK. I'm being raped up the ass and trying to turn into China *giggles* |
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I think the British government has started wearing its underpants on its head, shoved some pencils up its nose and can only say wibble. |
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I am not in a people mood today. Approach with caution. |
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Fuck christmas and fuck money. They're bloody stupid |
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Be careful what you wish for Alex ;P |
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I really want to have my dreads back. I just cant afford the hair. Rubbish. |
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What is it with guys and their primary photo being one of their cock? Your face would be far more interesting |
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Also why are some people on here so rude? I get that people are crabbit from time to time but it's just daft. |
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Heels are not my thing. Yes I know there is a pic of me in heels but I dont own them anymore and never wore them much anyway. Now boots on the other hand are great, esecially big stompy ones. They look cool and dont hurt my feet and Best of all I can balance in them.
Also why are girls so hard to find? They're like gold dust around these parts and a lot of those want older men. Clearly being a queer Daddy is a niche market. |
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Did you know that BMI is a crock of shit and wasn't even invented by a medical practitioner? There has been no proven correlation between height and mass. It was invented by a statistician and statistics can be made to mean anything. So the next time someone, including your GP, starts on about BMI, tell them where they can stick it.
Thank you :)
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Looking up your family tree.
Quite hard actually.
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Another pet hate. People who write they are dominate instead of dominant. It's not hard.
Also, people who use the word addicting instead of addictive which is the correct word.
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You know what pisses me off? When I profiles that say 'Women only or transmen'. Now I am paraphrasing slightly but I occationally come across profiles with this sort of thing and I find it to be transphobic. Trans men are MEN. Yes? Therefor they are not women so why say it's ok for them to contact you but not transwomen who are WOMEN.
I also often see this kind of bullshit on places advertised as 'women only spaces' which pretty much all state that no men or trans women but trans guys are ok? What the hell is that about? You're not gonna let some women in but it's ok to let some guys in? This is most of the reason why I never venture into these spaces or feel comfortable because I have a non binary gender and I find it to be horseshit.
/rant.
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New binder soon! I'm rather excited.
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I made a blog.
"Why did you make a blog Jak when you already have an LJ/CM journal?"
Because I wanted a specific blog. LJ is for general life stuffs for me. CM is mostly about kink
"Ok so what is it about?"
It's
about me and my experiences with aspergers and depression. I felt like
blogging about it. I am not aware of many if any at all blogs
pertaining to the subject from a personal point of view although I
could be wrong.
"Awesome. Where can I find this blog?"
http://jakishere.blogspot.com/
It only has one post but I will try to update often.
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I've noticed that I get Dom/mes browsing my profile from time to time but never really say anything. I wonder why that is?
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Recently I keep coming across a lot of 'girl power!' feminists who
are all about women and how they're awesome and fuck the patriarchy and
blah blah blah. This is all well and good but I was under the
impression that feminism was about equal rights, equal status, equal
treatment for EVERYONE no matter what their sex, their gender, their skin colour, their place of birth, their race.
I know men who are feminists, GQ feminists (of which I am one),
Trans feminists and others in between. Equal rights for women (The
Suffragists) was how it started. Then it went to votes for women (The
Suffragettes) and so on and so forth until it evolved into modern day
feminism. It's about equal rights no matter who you are.
Feminism is still coupled with angry women burning their bras and
going on about those evil men who oppress us (which is balls because
men get exploited and oppressed too) but that's not what it's about at
all. I've had people laugh at me when I tell them that I know men that
are feminists and tell me that's bullshit because of the reasons I
listed above.
If you protest for equal rights in another country, you're a
feminist. If you're a guy that chains himself to a railing to fight
racism, he's a feminist. If you're a chick that chooses to get your
baps out to protest against a cleric saying that boobs cause
earthquakes, you're a feminist. If you fight for any inequality at all,
you're a feminist. The word is the same but it encompasses something so
much bigger than when it started.
I am female bodied but I am genderqueer. I don't hate my body (It's
more like an outfit that's nice but doesn't suit me). I don't feel like
I have to become male to get more privilege. I have never once thought,
"I can't do this because I'm a girl" and so on and so forth.
Can we stop dicking around and do something about inequality now?
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No I do not have a webcam. Does this make me any less genuine? Not really. You can decide by my words if I am genuine and I will decide by yours. So this gives you even more of a reason to write good profile now, doesn't it?
Also I rarely message anyone first unless I'm impressed by what they have to say. I look a lot though but if I have looked then you are welcome to message me.
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I think I'm going to join up to a WW2 battle reenactment group. Now I just have to find a WW1 group and a winner is me. Going to be doing some Napoleonic bits in May too down in Portsmouth
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Sometimes I think I must be a girl repellent. Bugger
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Where have all the little girls gone?
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Sometimes pain is a useful tool. It can show a person how strong they truely are. In a way, it acts like a physical metaphor for life. It is like saying, "You have endured this pain, you survived it. Look what you acomplished. Now you know you can achieve something in life and I will help you do it as I helped you through this pain." |
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Decided on some Ernie Ball strings for my Bass. Now I just have to decide which ones and then save up the 20 quid! |
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I am not looking for anything sexual because I have a boyfriend. |
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I wish I had a little or a middle to look after. |
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I've said it before and I'll say it again...
READ MY PROFILE OR YOU WON'T GET A REPLY TO ANY MESSAGES YOU SEND ME. IF YOU CAN'T BE ARSED TO READ THEN I CAN'T BE ARSED TO REPLY. |
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My boyfriend bought me roses today ^_^ They're beautiful. |
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I finally got round to making a Deviant Art page and have been posting some of my art work. It's not great at the moment but the more I practise, the better I will get. |
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"Daddy's going out to create some art darling" |
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"Our
integrity sells for so little, but it's all that we really have. It is
the very last inch of us, but within that inch, we are free."
"Every last inch of me shall perish. Except one. An inch. It's small
and it's fragile and it's the only thing in the world worth having. We
must never lose it, or sell it, or give it away. We must never let them
take it from us."
Why have I quoted this? Because I feel they are very relevent to any
D/s relationship. You can give yourself to a Dom/me but you should
still be you. Be who you are. No one can take it from you and you
should never give it away or compromise your values or beliefs for
anyone. Do not change because someone else wants you to. Change because
you want to and because you feel it is right.
To submit and follow takes courage and strength. You are not a
doormat and you do have a choice. I could not take on anyone who felt
otherwise. Do not let yourself be treated as anything less than a
person. To trust someone enough to follow them is a great strength.
It takes strength on both sides and respect. Both sides have challanges and responsibilities.
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Have started learning BSL at long last. It's already come in handy for the days when I can't talk or have dificulty talking.
Why do I have difficulty talking you say? A combination of aspergers and depression. However, this is a rare thing and does not happen often. Does it make me less of a Dom? No.
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I'm feeling so Daddy-like at the moment.
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I am a motherfucking space pirate.
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Got a couple of new pictures up.
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Currently not looking. I don't mind being friends with poeple but I don't want another sub or anything just now. |
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I dislike desperate people who will throw themselves at anyone and don't bother to read profiles and get to know someone. How can someone be sure that you want to be with them because you like, value and respect them and not because they're just looking for a quick thrill? |
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I have pantaloons. I feel good about this.
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Why is it so fucking hard for people to read a profile. The next time someone doesn't read my profile, they won't get a reply at all.
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So just for a laugh, I decided to look at people on here from across the pond and holy crap there are so many hot people in the US and Canada. Can't you all just move over here please? lol
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Have been exploring Multiplicity and Plurality recently. Very interesting.
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I find the idea of tributes tasteless and a poorly disguised scam. Why the hell do people do it? CM seems to be only site with this kind of culture going on and it's crazy.
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Think of me as a Dom and we'll get on just fine. I am not looking to sub for anyone.
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Only looking for subs now. Preferably female.
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Hello my lovelies. I hope you are all well?
I was thinking that maybe it was about time I let people know a bit more about me and my style. I get a lot of people messaging me wanting me to degrade them, call them a worthless dog or whatever. However, I am probably not like 99% of Dommes on here. I will never call you a vile pathetic waste of space and I'm not interested in kicking you in the nuts (unless you ask extremely nicely and I'm in the right mood). I'm not massively into giving pain. It's just not my style as a Dom. If you call me Goddess or Mistress I will just die laughing.
So what do I do then? What gets me going as a Dom? Bondage/restraint, sensory play, anal play, breath play, knife play and a small bit of spanking and flogging. Yes I know the latter count as pain but they are never the main event. They're more like tools to help someone get into the right mindset. My main goal as a Dom is to really help someone learn about themselves or explore something about themselves. I like my scenes to have a point so although they may seem like few and far between, they will hopefully have a higher impact on the whole. I want to help a sub and support them in improving themselves or their confidence. I also believe in having good manners at all times. I say please and thank you to my subs. Does it make me any less Dom? I don't think so. I think it sets a nice standard personally. It's subtle and it's gentlemanly.
If you want someone to treat you like trash then move on because we just won't get on but if you want something else then we might do quite well.
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New video gone up on LittleYanus on YT |
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So I finally made it to 20. Who'd have thought it?
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Proud owner of my fluffykins ^_^
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I made a youtube channel all about my modeling and BDSM but there's a few other random bit's in there that hopefully people will like.
Do a search for LittleYanus and that's me. |
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I don't get tributes. I really don't. Can someone explain this to me? Coz like...the only only payment I really require is satisfaction on both sides. I don't need someone to buy me gifts coz I can damn well buy them myself or save up for it if I want something. I do this because I enjoy it and not because I want your money. Sure, a mahoosive vanity table filled with MAC, NARS and Atelier would be awesome but I would never ask anyone to buy me that stuff because you wanted to be my sub. That's just daft.
I want someone who can prove their worth with their personality, not what they can give me in gifts or financially.
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Oh and just so you know. I can be a complete and utter bastard when I feel like it and I'm not a rushing kinda person.
Oh yes, I recently became a fetish model. How awesome is that?
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Don't fret precious I'm here, step away from the window
Go back to sleep
Lay your head down child
I won't let the boogeyman come
Counting bodies like sheep
To the rhythm of the war drums
Pay no mind to the rabble
Pay no mind to the rabble
Head down, go to sleep
To the rhythm of the war drums
Pay no mind what other voices say
They don't care about you, like I do, like I do
Safe from pain and truth and choice and other poison devils,
See, they don't give a fuck about you, like I do.
Just stay with me, safe and ignorant,
Go back to sleep
Go back to sleep
Lay your head down child
I won't let the boogeyman come
Count the bodies like sheep
To the rhythm of the war drums
Pay no mind to the rabble
Pay no mind to the rabble
Head down, go to sleep to the rhythm of the war drums
I'll be the one to protect you from
Your enemies and all your demons
I'll be the one to protect you from
A will to survive and a voice of reason
I'll be the one to protect you from
Your enemies and your choices son
They're one in the same
I must isolate you
Isolate and save you from yourself
Swayin to the rhythm of the new world order and
Count the bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drum
The boogeymen are coming
The boogeymen are coming
Keep your head down, go to sleep, to the rhythm of a war drum
Stay with me
Safe and ignorant
Just stay with me
Hold you and protect you from the other one
The evil ones
Don't love you son,
Go back to sleep
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Why is it people make assumptions about you based on what role you choose to take in this lifestyle, be it sub, switch or Dom?
I just had a mail from someone in regards to my last entry saying that because I'm a switch, I don't know the full responsibilities of being a Dom and what that kind of control is like? Surely, given that I've subbed, I would know the needs and responsibilities maybe slightly better because I know what it's like personally to be a sub. I've been on both ends of control and each side has it's advantages and disadvantages.
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Why do people treat BDSM almost like it's a religion? People seem to define their whole lives by it and I don't quite get that. Why define yourself by a sexual practise? Isn't there more to you than that? I mean, I'm someone who happens to sub but there is a lot more to me than that. It's only a small part of who I am. I can still be stubborn, clever and able to make myself heard and be silly and generally have a personality and still be a sub.
The other thing I've noticed with those who seem to treat it like a religion is that there is a lot of pretencious wankery that goes on too. Just because I happen to practise BDSM in a different way than you does not make it wrong or make me an idiot. One of the reasons I love BDSM is the diversity and the choice you get to practise however you want. The way I do it is personal to me. That doesn't make it wrong.
Fuck anyone who tells you the way you do it wrong or that they know better than you. One size does not fit all.
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