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submissivecop
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MistressJennaKC
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petandbitch
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ksvictorian
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Wulffe
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sweetboo7777
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CfAL
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thinIce
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Hello! I am a female lifestyle Dominant. I love getting out and about, meeting and talking with others, learning new things, exchanging ideas, sharing experiences. In addition to taking on new subs/slaves, be they newbies or more experienced, I have also begun to mentor, and really enjoy teaching and advising those just coming into their Dominant selves.
Yup, this profile is a bit lengthy, so sit back, relax and stay a while! lol
But first...I detest having to put this at the beginning of my profile, but it seems it's warranted: I put some thought and effort into creating this profile so that you can get some idea of who I am, what I enjoy and some of my philosophies. If your profile is blank, then you'd better include some information about yourself in your e-mail. I like to see who I am talking to...I do have some pics on my profile. If you don't have any pics up, send one or two with your e-mail. Finally, I am tired of one-line e-mails like "Hi, how ya doing?", so those are henceforth going to be deleted without a reply. Put something that is interesting to you or about you in your e-mails! Make sure you read the profile as to what an e-mail from you should contain as well. ;)
A little about me:
I believe that D/s relationships grow and get more intense over time as trust is established and people get to know each other on deeper levels. I like to go slow at first. I want to get to know you, not just your orientation, fetishes and BDSM interests. I want to learn how you react to different stimuli, where the boundaries are, how you perceive activities we would engage in. After I've known someone for a while and we have spent time together, then I can read every breath, every sigh, what every muscle twitch means, and whether that yell means "that really hurts" or "hell ya do it harder". That's when it really starts to get to a different level!
I've found many men are willing to give up control of their bodies to me, but are very guarded in letting me get into their heads. I would like you to be open to the intellectual / psychological aspects of stimulation as well as the physical aspects. I can see reactions, but I also want to know what you feel and think about wiitwd.
I love "pleasers" and men that like physicality in play - I am very "hands on". I can give a masochist enough pain to get them to their "happy place", but I also tend to relish the more subtle and sublime aspects of sensation play, sensory deprivation, mental bondage, the power exchange dynamic. I tend to meld my interests with those of the person I'm with, because I find it more mutually satisfying that way. That does not mean things aren't always done my way- they are! However, if you have an interest I'm not well versed in, I'll research it, speak to people who are proficient in it, talk to you about it and may decide to try it out. I specialize in a number of things including assplay/anal training and training bi newbies. I LOVE to use my strap-on with men. I also enjoy flogging, restraint and predicament bondage.
I thrive on power exchange.... there's nothing better for me than when I can hear changes in the voice, see the shudders, and see in the eyes of my guys when they go into subspace. I get a rush out of the fact that I put them there, and that they trust me enough to go there without reservation, leaving themselves relatively helpless and open to me in the process.
As far as other interests... I make my own leather items and am constantly coming up with new and devious designs (which are tested on my guys). I also like making jewelry. I have a background in martial arts. I collect swords, knives and martial arts weapons. I love to ride my motorcycle. I am adept at woodworking and metalworking, and I am very comfortable with power tools or in a machine shop. :D
I do have a mate, and we have been together for 6 years. He is bisexual. He is not my sub. We have a polyamorous, open relationship. I like to form relationships with my subs/slaves, and the relationship structure I have with my mate does not preclude this.
A little about the sumbissive/slave(s) I'd like to meet:
I'm often asked "what are you looking for in a sub/slave?" I want a man that is intelligent, articulate, has a sense of humor, is self confident and responsible. I am looking for someone reliable, who will show up when he says he will (sounds pretty basic, doesn't it). I want to find a dedicated sub that I get to see on a regular basis. I tend to like men that are masculine and in good shape.
Here comes the part that some of you are going to find "different". I prefer (but do not require) bi men. I have a lot of experience with bi men, I do truly like them, and have the resources to help them explore in a SSC or RACK environment. So, I do. You may be called upon to help me train others, so being versatile is a plus. Ideally, you should be able to service men and women equally well. If you enjoy it and are not just doing it as forced servitude, bonus points. Though this is definitely a preference of mine, there is much more to explore in a D/s relationship than bi activity, so don't worry if it's not totally your thing.
If I get to know you and things work out between us, we may discuss a "houseboy", part-time, or full-time house slave position as an option. A full-time, live-in, slave will have both domestic and sexual service duties, and would be expected to contribute financially to the household (not your whole paycheck, just as a housemate would). I want slaves to hold jobs, visit friends and family and keep the relationships they've always had.
I will deal only with men that are single, in open relationships or have an informed partner. I will not take men that are only in town to visit or are here on a business trip. I will not take online only subs.
I am d/d free, and you must be also. Proximity is a plus, but not a requirement. Having a motorcycle is a bigger plus! lol I do have friends all over the country that I chat with on IM from both sides of the kneel. I don't see distance as being a barrier to friendship.
If you're a sub or slave and you want to send me an e-mail, please answer this question in the body of it: "If you were to choose one instance, one act, one exchange that makes you feel the most submissive, the most fulfilled in your role, what would it be?"
Finally, a little about my group, the Purple Nation:
Over the years, I have counseled literally dozens of bi-curious and bisexual men. Many are very worried about how they will be perceived and whether they will be accepted, even in the lifestyle. So, I founded a group called the Purple Nation for bisexual men, couples with bi men and folks who support bi men (yup, that means women too! lol). The Purple Nation provides a venue for men to explore that facet of their sexuality in a safe, supportive environment. All boundaries and comfort levels are respected. We have meet and greets about once a month at a lifestyle-friendly bar in the KC area. Attending one of our events would be a great opportunity to meet open-minded people in a no pressure environment.
Everyone deserves a break from the person everyone else expects them to be.
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THE SHINY FACTOR
By PhoenixRed
When you get into BDSM and D/s relationships, especially if you are new to this, everything seems cool and exciting and pushes boundaries and limits; it's all so overwhelming and wonderful and beautiful! It’s SHINY!!!
You find someone, you start getting experience and you think: "I've found my nirvana, this is how I want it to be for the rest of my life!"
And all is good with the universe :)
Then at some time into a D/s relationship (it may be weeks, months or years, depending on how often you spend time together) ... Something happens ... The "SHINY!!!" wears off.
By this point you hopefully know your partner well, have built trust, and have good communication.
By this point you've tried a lot of activities, you know all the rules.
A lot of the horizons have been expanded and boundaries pushed.
Maybe you softened or eliminated some hard limits; maybe you’ve picked up some new hard limits.
But, now it's not always new and exciting any more. It's a relationship, with a control structure.
All that frenetic "new relationship energy" has kind of leveled out.
Guess what....... it happens to everyone.
This is one of the main points at which D/s relationships tend to start having problems and/or break up.
This is the point where you start learning if you're really suited to a long-term D/s relationship or not.
This is when each partner starts getting antsy. Subs/slaves say, “I don't feel as much of the control any more, we never do anything new". Dominants/Owners say, "I don't really see that enthusiasm in my sub's service anymore".
This is the point when, especially in online D/s relationships, people get bored and leave the relationship thinking it's broken somehow.
This is many times the point when people start looking for another partner and/or relationship, because then it becomes newer again....they may be the same activities, but it's a new person! “I want a new partner so I can experience the wonder and excitement of all this again!” … there's new relationship energy again!
SHINY!!! I want to make it SHINY again!
Long-term D/s relationships can be like long-term vanilla relationships; you get comfortable with each other, you get into routines, a lot of the relationship revolves around the more mundane aspects of day to day living.
Can you do anything to put more excitement into a long-running relationship? SURE! Be creative, put new spins on old activities, try new activities.
What you do have at this point that you didn't have in the beginning of the relationship? Why shouldn’t you just go get a new partner and go for the new shiny?
Now, after time with someone, you have equity in the relationship, implicit trust, stability, knowing your partner is there for you even if the shiny has worn off.
You KNOW that you're loved, cared for and valued for the long haul…
You are secure in your role, and you KNOW that your dynamic will endure …
Well, I happen to think that there's something to be said for that too :)
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Damn, it has been over a year since I've posted in this journal. Wow, how time does fly. Well, I'm baaaaaaaaacccccccccckkkkkkkkkk! :)
I am on the hunt again and looking for a male submissive/slave. Please read my profile before you send me a message, so you can get some idea of initial compatiblity. I am looking for someone that will be available to go camping with us this summer, most notably over Memorial Day and Labor Day long weekends. I would also like potential candidates to be willing to attend events with me, as I am active in my local BDSM groups as both a participant and a presenter. I want someone that I can see on a regular basis, that I can form a relationship with, someone who is service-oriented and not just looking for play sessions.
Hmmm, that's enough for now. I'm only taking petitions from local folks. I've heard too many times from folks out of the area how they will relocate, etc. In all the years I've been doing this, not one that's said that has ever even visited, no less relocated. So, let's keep this realistic, k? :)
Oh, and I know I probably shouldn't have to say this but I will....I'm looking for a real time sub/slave. I will not take online only subs. |
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Happy New Year to all! Let's hope this year brings us all better economic times, peace, and contentment.
Some events that are coming up in the near future:
Tomorrow evening (Jan 15) I will be out at the AHS social (local BDSM group).
January 23 we resume the meet and greets for my Purple Nation group.
As usual, if you want to drop by to say hi, let me know. |
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Been a while since my last journal entry.
Bo's passing was very hard to take. I really miss him. I was torn on wanting to get another dog right away, and waiting for the grief to pass. We donated Bo's remaining dog food to a local shelter in mid September. While there, my mate and I got to talking, and decided the house was way too quiet without a furry child in it. So, we began looking for another dog.
I'm very happy to announce that we have found a new fur baby to love. We adopted Kira from the Furry Kids Refuge in Missouri on October 2nd. Kira is 3 years old and a ball of energy! I'd forgotten what it's like to have a young dog around! Kira was found as a stray when she was a pup, and has been in and out of a number of foster homes during her life. Many people wouldn't keep her because she is a fence jumper...4' fence is no challenge to her! So, right now we have to go out with her whenever we let her outside. We're planning on putting up a 6' privacy fence in early spring. I think Bo would approve of our giving another rescue dog a forever home, as I did for him.
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Life does go on. I have many obligations I have to uphold to many people in my life.
There will be a Purple Nation camp-out this weekend from Friday evening to Sunday evening in KS. If anyone is interested in attending, please e-mail me for more details. |
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It is done. Bo was put to sleep this morning at 10 am. I/we have agonized over this decision and have tried to think of all the alternatives. Last night, we came to the conclusion that we don't see another solution. There is no way we can fix him any more. In addition to dealing with whatever break happened in his mind in June, we're also dealing with end of life issues as well. The vet said, that he's never seen a seizure dog live such a long and full life. I am proud to have provided him that life, and honored that he blessed me with his.
I have never had my heart hurt so much. I don't know how I'm going to bear it, but I know I will. Everything has it's time. A time to live, a time to die. I will honestly try to do what I did after my dog other dog Steve died. Not perpetually mourn his loss, but try to celebrate the time I did have with him and reflect upon what he gave me by enriching my life by being in it for the years that he was.
Bo was adopted by me from the Heart of America Humane Society at the age of 5 months old. He dies as my companion, sometimes my only friend, and always a part of my heart, at the age of 14 years and 8 months old. I will have Bo cremated so I can scatter his ashes out at camp.
I go now to spend Labor Day weekend with our clan, our community, my mate and my sub. I am very lucky to have such kind, caring and supportive people in my life. Thank you, cub, for driving me and my mate to and from the vet today, and being there for me.
One of the last things I said to Bo was "thank you". For those of you that have furry ones, please take a moment out of your day to hold them, pet them, and say "thank you" to them. Let them know how much they mean to you while they are still with you.
Peace and Love,
Phoenix |
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Ah life. It has a way of throwing us curve balls sometimes, doesn't it? In late June my old dog (almost 15 yrs old) started presenting with "manic" behavior - getting up on the couch trying to crawl into my lap all the time, panting at twice his normal breathing rate, heart beating very fast. Whining incessantly, very pitifully. Bo (the dog) has been taking phenobarbitol and a thyroid supplement for many years now to control the epileptic siezures he had before. This was different though....not episodes that lasted a few minutes and then resolved. This condition seems to be more persistant.
The vet and I decided to try ace promozine to sedate Bo. At first, it did. But it also left him extremely dopey and not able to walk well. After a week or two, Bo seemed to be developing a tolerance to ace promozine, and I had to drug him almost into unconsciousness so that I could go to work.
My mate travels a lot for business, and was out of town for the worst of these initial weeks, when we were trying to understand what was going on and how to deal with it. I left to go to work one day, and in the 8 hours I was there, Bo apparently had a manic episode and destroyed the vertical blinds in front of the patio door, the blinds in the bedroom, and the blinds in the living room. he also destroyed 2 lamps when he had crawled all over the furniture. So, now I was scared to leave him home alone.
My sub and I arranged our schedules so that I left for work near the time that he got off from work. For 2 weeks, my boy and I worked to provide around the clock coverage in the house to monitor Bo. I can't tell you how much that ment to me, that in this time of crisis, My boy was there to help me with Bo, for 2 weeks straight. He re-arranged his life to accomodate a persistant need I had. I couldn't have made it through those 2 weeks without him. Thank you, cub.
There were 4 days that Bo was fine without any meds at all, as at that time I was only giving them as needed. That didn't last, however. The manic episodes resumed, and lots of meds were needed to quell them.
During the 3rd week of ace promozine treatment, it was apparent that this was not going to be an acceptable long-term solution. The vet and I talked, and decided to try valium (diazepam) instead of ace promozine. I have spent the last 3 weeks trying to titrate the doses so that Bo gets what is needed to control the seizures, but not incapacitate him. Bo had one really good week where everything seemed to be going very well, then 5 days of things not going so well. This last week, the manic episodes have come under control, for the most part. I no longer feel I have to have 24/7 coverage with someone in the house to look after him. But, that can change at any time.
My 15 yr old dog now gets 3 pills, two times a day: a thyroid supplement, phenobarbitol and valium (a human dose for a 45 lb dog). He takes more downers ever day than any human I know, yet he's still very active and a great companion, when he's not manic. Border collies...go figure! lol
My vet says that at 15 yrs old, my dog has lived a very full life. Especially for a seizure dog, since usually dogs with that condition don't live even that long. The vet has agreed to keep trying different meds for as long as I want to do so. But, we've also talked and decided that at some point, when I feel that Bo no longer has had a good quality of life, that the time will come to put him down.
I agree, Bo has had a long and rich life. He has been my companion, my child, and for many years when I worked long hours every day, my only friend. I know the end is near, but I just don't feel like we're there just yet. I will have to make that fateful decision in the near future, I fear.
How do any of us ever know when exactly that time should be? Sometimes it is obvious - last month I helped a couple from our poly clan put their dog down because of grand mal seizures she never recoverd from. How do we deal with the loss and sometimes guilt? Many people, especially those at work, say "it's just a dog, get over it, you don't need time off for the death of a dog". For those of you out there that have the connection with your fur babies like I do with mine, how can you make them understand that Bo is not "just a dog"?
Yes, I am going to fall apart when the time comes, and I will need time off. I will need the support of my mate and my sub to get through it and go on. I just hope I have a few more months with Bo. I always hoped he would make it to his 15th birthday in February. Time will tell.
Thanks to any that have read this long post, especially those that can empathize with it. Just felt I had to write about it. For those that have sent me e-mails since June, now you know why I haven't responded to many of them. This situation has really taken up all my time.
Here's hoping that all of you that have fur babies out there are enjoying the love and companionship they offer. I hope their health is good and that you are together for a long time to come.
Blessings,
Phoenix
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The Purple Nation is hitting the road! This weekend we'll be partying with the folks in Oklahoma City. It's a bit of a drive, but well worth it. We had lots of fun there last year. The actual meet and greet is July 11th, on Saturday. If any of you in the OKC area are interested, give me a shout. |
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Heading out to the AHS campout today...yippee! I am SO looking foreward to putting my boy up on the rack and working him over! hee hee No phones, no computers for a weekend. Catch up with all of ya when I get back. :) |
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Purple Nation party June 20th. I think by now, you should know what that's about! lol |
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Purple Nation party on Saturday, May 2nd. E-mail me if you're interested in attending.
Gotta say, we met some wonderful folks from Wichita last party...thanks to the Wichita Mafia for hanging out with us, we had a blast with you guys! Can't wait to see you all again! |
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There will be a Purple Nation party on Saturday, April 18th in the Overland Park area, at a lifestyle-friendly bar. So, if you're free, why not come by and say hi?! E-mail Me for details. |
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Geez, things have been so busy for the last week, I forgot to post an announcement. There is a Purple Nation meet and greet this Saturday, March 28th, in the OP area. |
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I will be going out of town from the 24th to the 28th of Feb. My dad isn't doing well in his fight with cancer and I need to go home and visit with family. I'll catch up with e-mail when I get back. |
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Well, it's that time again. Now, I know many of you may have plans for Valentine's Day. Just in case you don't....
There will be a Purple Nation party on Valentine's Day, Saturday, Feb. 14th in the Overland Park area, at a lifestyle-friendly bar. It's also going to be a little celebration for My birthday. So, if you're free, why not come by and say hi?!
E-mail Me for details. |
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Purple Nation party on Nov 8...good times in the Overland Park area! E-mail me if interested in attending. Would be a great opportunity to meet you in person in a no pressure atmosphere.
Just a side note, cause I think it's warranted! lol All of you local guys that e-mail Me and tell Me you would be the perfect sub for Me and you would do ANYTHING to please Me.....why don't ANY of you EVER show when I announce that I'll be at a public bar, huh? It's not like we dont' have these meet and greets every MONTH! Hell, most of ya don't even ask about it! | |
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Off to an interesting weekend....BDSM workshops, a fetish Ball, and a dungeon. Yippee! |
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Purple Nation party on September 20...good times in the Overland Park area! E-mail me if interested in attending. Would be a great opportunity to meet you in person in a no pressure atmosphere. |
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Hello! I will be leaving for a camping trip tomorrow and not returning until Monday evening. No computers, no cell phones.... peacefull bliss. After initial setup (well the tent doesn't put itself up! lol) I'm hoping for relaxation, play, drumming and dancing this weekend. Hope you all have a very enjoyable and safe Labor Day weekend. |
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Purple Nation party on August 16th...good times in the Overland Park area! E-mail me if interested in attending. |
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In my last journal entry I mentioned that I needed to spend more time with my wonderful pup. We have been, and it has been great.
I'd like you all to know that another wonderful person in my life that I love to spend time with is my sexy slave. My doumi is an exceptional man, and has a very special place in my heart. |
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An update on my life: I am not currently looking for any more subs. I am happy with all the great people I have in my life. I haven't been spending near enough time with my wonderful pup, and need to rectify that situation immediately. I also will be starting a new job at the end of the month after being unemployed for 6 months. So, life will be hectic again. I want to concentrate my energies on those already near and dear to me. |
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A thread was recently revived on the Ask a Mistress forum called "What can a sub have to offer a dominant woman (a response) by littlesarbonn. Here's the link: http://www.collarchat.com/m_1098733/tm.htm It's a great read for male submissives from newbies to those more experienced. |
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I've been sick pretty much since the beginning of March, so I'm just starting to catch up on the backlog in my e-mail. Damn flu bug! Getting better day by day, though. Hope all out there are staying well! |
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Just wanted you all to know that I don't accept requests to be in your friend's network if I've never corresponded with you. How can I be a friend of yours if I've never talked to you? |
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| Age: 29 |
| Lexington,
South Carolina |
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