Southern Submissive Aims to Please

AGE, SEX, & LOCATION INFO ( Because I know someone will ask ):

I'm a 34 yr old woman originally from the Southern US but now living in the Midwest. I've been active r/l in the lifestyle for sixteen years. Now that I have the a/s/l out of the way, I can move on to the important stuff.

BASIC GETTING TO KNOW ME INFO:

I'm all about trying new things in all parts of my life. I like to travel, meet new people, read, listen to music, get tattooed and pierced... the list goes on and on. I have a motto; I don't dis anything until I've tried it at least twice. I have great people in my life who I love dearly and who make my life fun and special and interesting. What more can I say. Overall, my life is really good. If you have any questions at all, please feel free to ask. I am married to a wonderful woman who I adore. I've been exploring whole new sides of myself with her that I never knew I had. If you'd asked me a few years ago if I could ever see myself in a dominant role, I would have said no, absolutely not. Now, I definitely wouldn't be so quick to say that. Switching, I've discovered, can be lots of fun. I still feel rather queasy thinking about causing anyone pain or hurt, but the giggles following a loud smack with a paddle are great. I could really get into that.

ON BEING A SUBMISSIVE:

I am first and foremost a service oriented submissive. I do genuinely enjoy pleasing people in my life. Seeing them happy about something I’ve done or done for them, makes me happy. I’m kind of like a lab puppy in that way. I’m a people pleaser. In saying that, I have to stress that I do not feel submissive toward everyone. I can derive satisfaction from hosting a dinner party, planning a night out with the girls, or organizing a friend’s cupboard, but I don’t necessarily feel submissive toward the people involved in or benefiting from those activities. There have been a select group of individuals who I have come in contact with over the years to whom I feel immediately and very naturally submissive. They aren’t always similar; some are very different from each other in fact, but they all come across as people who are very confident in themselves and very comfortable in their own skin as individuals and as dominants. Their skill and confidence boost my natural willingness and sense of adventure, which leads to scenes that push / exceed previous boundaries as well as open doors to new experiences that I may not have even entertained before. If you meet me at a munch, play party, or other lifestyle function, don’t expect me to immediately kneel and beg to please you with titles of Master or Mistress. It’s not going to happen. Your scene name or your given name is what I use to address most people. When respect has been demonstrated and earned, Sir or Ma’am might also be used on occasion. In my world, the only way I would call anyone Master or Mistress is if I were to be collared to that person as his or her slave. Please refrain from calling me bitch, cunt, slut or any other potentially derogatory name unless we are in a scene where that sort of thing has been okayed. My wife and my close friends are able to do that because from them I know the terms are endearments. If I have just met you or we have exchanged a few emails online, don’t assume you are part of that group. That takes time. While I may have a deep seeded desire to please, I am not a doormat. Don’t try to treat me like one or you may encounter my very seldom seen bitch side. The backlash may be pleasant to the ears, softly spoken, and followed by a ‘bless your heart,’ but I am certain you’ll recognize the insult for what it is. Be respectful and courteous, and I will be happy to do the same in return.

ON BEING A MASOCHIST

I am thoroughly and happily a pain slut. I will be the first to admit it and flaunt it. I enjoy a good D/s scene when it is done well and with the right person. I enjoy a straight out I’m going to beat you until you drop S&M scene too. Combine those in the perfect cocktail, and I’m in heaven. I love almost all implements of pain from something as simple as a hand to a thuddy leather flogger to the sharp sting of a whip. The soft, teasing heat of a nice warm up followed by the build up of heavy blows from a flogger or paddle or crop and then finished with the biting pain of a whip or cane. It’s wonderful. Just thinking about it makes my skin tingle with anticipation. I crave the pain. My favorite implement for a scene is a leather belt. I don’t have a special one in my toy bag for a very specific reason. My enjoyment in playing with this implement starts with the sound of it being unbuckled and pulled from the belt loops around my dominant’s waist. The click, jangle followed by a long hiss. It leaves me instantly flush with excitement like nothing else I’ve experienced. Warm leather doubled over being dragged across my skin in silent foreplay of what’s to come. The anticipation that starts the moment it leaves my skin as I wait for the first stinging blow. One after the other after the other until my skin glows red hot both to the eyes and the fingers. The jump forward against the biting pain changes to a luxurious stretch to meet the heated leather. Moans and yelps and tears all blend into one. Some of the best scenes I’ve had have involved a belt. I own much more sophisticated toys that could cause much more subtle and varied pain, but I still love a belt more than anything.

ON TOPPING

Topping/Switching has been a fairly new experience for me. I have only been doing it a few short years. Before that my play was completely as a submissive and a slave. I am not a sadist at all, and I never have been. I don't derive any pleasure from causing someone physical harm in that way. The way I have worked around that is that I'm very careful to play with people who genuinely do enjoy the pain. If I hit someone with a crop and they cry out in pain but follow that with a pleasured moan or a giggle, I can handle that. I have to play with someone who gives visual and/or audible cues of pleasure. If I don't, I feel guilty about causing the pain. I like to say that I bottom from the top. In my submissive heart I am providing a service by topping a wonderful woman, and if she enjoys it when I inflict pain then I can do that in order to please her. It's sort of a backward way to look at it, but it's the way that works for me.

WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR:

I am very satisfied in my relationship with Steffie, so I am not looking for any outside, long-term relationship. Sexually, I am in a monogamous relationship with my wife. I do not have sex with anyone other than her. By sex I mean oral, anal, vaginal, insertable toys, or strap-on sex. Please don't waste your time or mine messaging me that you can offer me greater satisfaction than she can in some way. I don't care what sort of cock shot photography or video you can send me. I'm still not interested. I will not be your booty call or your sex slave. I hate the fact that I even needed to write the last few sentences, but I'm tired of fencing the same emails over and over.

That being said, I am open to the possibility of play partners for casual, non-sex related scenes. Friendships are always more than welcome. If I've intrigued you even a little, please message me. I'll be happy to chat and answer any questions you might have.