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ITS MIND OF MATTER THEY SAY DONT THEY WELL MY MIND USED TO BE SHARP AND FULL OF HOPE BUT GUESS WHEN YOU GET OLDER And LIFE HAS THROWN YOU INTO THE ABYSS AGAIN DO YOU PICK YOURSELF UP AND TRY AGAIN OR JUST SAY HELL WITH IT< IF YOU KNOW OR CAN SUGGEST ANY RECOURSE LET ME KNOW I AM ALL EARS. Owner of a Broken Heart Owner of a Lonely Heart feel it YESTERDAY ALL MY TROUBLES SEEMED SO FAR AWAY BUT LOOKS LIKE THEIR HERE TO STAY. OH HOW i LONG FOR YESTERDAY

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7/10/2014 12:55:28 AM
Human Nature sure seems to always come to the forefront doesn't it. When someone has nothing and you make sure their needs are met bu them food give them shelter do nice things for them even take your hard earned  money get them glasses and all they are to do is keep things in order and make sure one person is taking care of. Then the human nature comes in they get a little and forget where they were and whats mine is mine no sharing selfish and just worrying about self. Well it happens to me over and over again and now i say no more . Like the old Rocker Alice Cooper NO MORE MR NICE GUY

7/6/2014 8:42:10 PM
The Dreaded block its so funny how people block you without ever knowing you or have contact with WELL GUESS THATS LIFE now in the people who think this is a selstyle no wonder so many dont get it

7/4/2014 5:16:55 AM
Thank You to every Veteran Service Member and I mean All for Your Sacrifices and Service to allow me to have the freedoms I enjoy today without your Service I would not be able to have the freedom to be who I am and with whom I choose to be with male female or my favorite Transgenders    HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY TO EACH AND EVERY ONE MAY YOU ENJOY THE DAY THAT IS TOTALLY YOURS THANK YOU I CAN NEVER REPAY YOU ENOUGH 

4/13/2014 6:25:00 PM

Spent the day cleaning out  my friends list and so many have  left and a few have passed but everyone of them touched my life. Now it seems a new  chapter begins .Maybe ill meet my ts tg cd gurl i have searched for so many years one can only hope.


5/6/2012 7:29:44 PM

There curious way things work out . I lost the love of my life . She had told me Sun evening that she said I dont love you anymore which at that time I went a little nuts finally moved all things into the spare bedroom . The next night we made what i thought was amazing love makeing and tell me How good I felt. Was this another story  but I thought perhaps there was hope that I would Have my Lady back but went to daughters and just got so sick of hearing her say Dallas this

Dallas that then what a hard week he had..She doesnt even realize she does it. but I work 12 hrs a day took another job and not one word about how tired I must be , Walked home and had it out again she told me no one was sleeping with her tonight I wake up to go to work and what do I see her and him sleeping together. Dont know I love her so much but I have to put this on paper if only for me to come back to and see what has happened


4/30/2012 6:34:47 PM

This profile will be deleted in the next couple of days . I have decided I dont have what it takes to persue this way of life though I will miss it the thing I will miss the most is all the wonderful and nice people I have  met . To all those I have hurt or brought any kind of displeasure in my life please forgive me I am so sorry. Thanks again for all the wonderful advice and teaching that those that have touched my life you will never be forgotten. Good Bye to lifestyle that has been apart of me for 36 years  for all the good and bad that has happened to me I wouldnt change a thing. Good Bye and good living to all.


4/26/2012 1:13:28 AM

The first cut is always the deepest. The darkness of the world sorounds you being blind doesnt help for your other senses Emotions are a sea of turmoil oh how you long when the seas where calm But here you set upon the the rocky seas of life with your sails tathered floating aimlessly with out any direction. What is your decision you must ponder do you fix your sails and hope and pray that although the wind that blew your sails will return or do nothing and just drift aimlessly in the sea of turmoil without your compass so you may return to that port that made you feel the love and compassion and care you remember so well. Or do you`let the  sea of life consume you and take you to the abyss that you had lived in for so many years till you found your wind that put you on the right course taking for granted that the wind will always be behind you to set you on the right course again . Many thoughts to ponder do you abandon ship or isi t salvageble  to is and redo your sails and patch up all the holes that through your neglect.Your heart tells you to rebuid but your mind tells you why try you have before and where did that get you but lost on the sea of turmoil once again, The question is can your heart ,mind and emotions take it anymore disappointments are harder to get over at this time of life. I once was fighter and when got knocked down I always got up to fight for what i thought was mine. But this old sea lion  doesnt know if there is another fight in him . Or can my heart mind body and soul take another disappointment that seems to have followed me for most of my life. Bless all of you who have found your wind again . Ms P you expecially .


4/23/2012 4:26:59 PM

Are you a Ts or TV or cd or slave that has had bad times and not appreciated or understood . Would you enjoy a fresh start in a Poly oriented family and where your past is the past and now is a new beginning for you . If interested or curious lets please talk and see if we can achieve the happiness everyone deserves. Would truly enjoy talking to you even if your not sure but want to see what happiness is, Be well and always be true to yourself. You truly have a gift that no one can ever take away from you.


4/22/2012 8:12:06 PM

What wonderful surprise you get sometimes when you least expect it . WE have found a good boy that pleases Ms so much . Very attentive and hard worker around the house and being here with Ms while I am at work . HE came and now I see the spark come alive in the person I have known and cared for the last 3 yrs . I truly enjoy that smile and hope it stays forever. Thank you dallas for your arrival to our house. Now if we could only find a ts tv cd submissive things would almost be perfect but I am truly content to have what Ms has a diamond in the rough so to speak. The bond between them brings back very good memories . We dont have much be we all have each other to lean on in times of dispare


5/22/2011 5:06:41 AM

To all the victims of the recent tornados that have devastated the south and the plains you all are in my thoughts and prayers also i hope all my friends in those areas weren't effected by any of the storms.


5/16/2011 8:38:55 AM

Well thank to all you sent my messages on the passing of my father . IT remains to  be seen what will be the next chapter in the family death should not be a time for sefishness but I guess all families that are not close go through it . Just saddens me that some look at it as a time of profit but thats life. Trying to just remember the good things about my parents. TOday is tough for today is supposed to be a celebration of my exsistence but it lost its luster and seems like just another day. Hope all stop and just think of building a good relationship with thier families and dont let a week or day go by without reaching out and telling that special family member what they truly mean to  you and  your life. Bless all of you in my cm family each and everyone of you are in my thoughts prayers and meditations .


5/11/2011 5:36:03 AM

Well, we all at the begining of each year, hope that it is better than the last . But alas as usual that  hope is usually crushed . Death is such a bad and terrible thing but when you lose both parents within months of each other it seems a little too much to bare, at least for this one it is. Never put off seeing or talking to your Parents or seeing them you always think you have the time to do it later but if you're like me that time never came they passed . So many things you wish you had told  them and feel them for the last time to keep that memory fresh in your mind and Heart even though they are both in my heart i regret that i truly didnt get to tell them how much I loved and appreciated everything they have done for me i realize that many of these things are implied but it truly leaves a very huge hole inside you not to have told them in person. May the powers that be bless all of you and hope that everyone has the opportunity to say that personal good bye. Blessed be us all


4/28/2011 12:41:34 PM

To all lifestylers in the south my prayers are with you and yours as you deal with the tragedies of the killer storms that tore through you area i do so hope you are all well and safe . Yours truly carl


4/22/2011 7:00:55 AM

HAPPY Birthday Mistress Meltz May it be the most fullfilling birthday of all MLAdy . Wanted send it privately but it wouldnt allow me so i chose to wish you birthday wishes this way.


3/20/2011 7:41:14 AM

I know to each their own desires and kinks . But am haveing a very hard time understanding what people get from ridiculing and disrespecting Doms and Dommes and subs and slaves and bbw or ts,tg,cd people on here . If your not interested or have anything in common with someone why would you write and tell them terrible things about their looks or thoughts. I guess its just the way I was taught or trained but even if you dont enjoy or like the Domme or Dom my duty as a sub or slave is to treat each one with respect and honor they deserve. Just my thoughts have lately been enjoy the more mature Dommes and Doms and others on here no offence to you younger kinksters just my prefrance. May everyone find the path they should take and enjoy the journey to the natural true bliss we all deserve.


3/17/2011 7:20:27 AM

HAPPY SAINT PATRICKS DAY TO ALL Just a we little bit of the luck of the IRISH but You cant have me lucky charms unless you really want them LOL HUGGS AND PINCHES TO ALL


2/16/2011 7:02:33 AM

Tried to send congratulaions and blessing to Mistress Lacey but coulnt do it for i was blocked for some reason my Your house be blessed and prosperious in all things MLady.


2/14/2011 7:42:26 AM

Happy Valentines Day to the whole Collarme Family . May everyone find what they want need and desire if not forever at least for this one Day. Huggs and Kisses to all


2/1/2011 3:49:54 AM

Just some observations I have noticed and experianced here lately some it seems want to judge others by their  looks or body type . Everyone is truly beautiful in their own way in my opinion. Doesn't matter if a person is happy withthemselves why should others judge. Also people it seems come to some strange conclusions of what it would be like to join a family without ever even spending one day with them just the usual banter and monthly long emails saying yes I want this yes I want that your the dream I have been waiting for then alas the time comes for the visit and poof gone hidden profile or their agenda changes . Which is fine but dont bad mouth and run your mouth to others without spending one day let alone anytime in person with the individual. I know things happen in life trust me but to pretend to want something bad and then run is not the proper thing or to comment on how big a person is or how you call names and send emails then change your profile or disappear when someone returns your mail or the block seems childish to me. I read and enjoy so many on here and have made some great friends. So I guess I will just continue to see the beauty in the what some call BBW or TS TG or Tv or whoever they desire to be young old and all for everyone to me has a beauty to them .


1/27/2011 5:46:54 AM

To all those that recently wrote to me on the death of my mother I truly wish to thank you from the bottom of my heart it was soothing to know that people do really care if I didnt send you a personal thank you please forgive me. If you have a family member who you havent seen or talked to in awhile dont make the mistake I did and keep putting it off for life is fragile and though you may think it will last forever its a painful reminder to me that it isnt I didnt get to see or talk to my Mother before she passed and that I truly regret. This community of ours is truly a family and when one hurts or is in pain I think we all are to some extent. So if you havent talked or visited your folks please do for if you dont I am sure each of you will have the same regrets as I did. Thank you all again for the support and kind words of first my heart attack then the passing of my mother . Yours truly Carl


1/9/2011 10:39:48 AM

GO KC CHIEFS BEAT THE RAVENS 13 years is long enough


10/10/2010 6:49:37 PM
WEll life has a new meaning for this one today. I have been in the hospital with heart issues had a stint put in and that will do for now, Have two more blockages that needs to be addressed. THanks to all those who have written and kept me in thier thoughts and prayers. If it wasnt for those and my Ms I dont know what I would have done. BUt so much lies ahead and issues to be addressed never thought I would have to go through this . But it is life and a wake up call too I guess. THis will not curtail me in my journey of life just another bump in the road on this long journey . THanks all and may god who whoever you believe in bless each and everyone of you

10/9/2010 7:10:55 PM
If all goes well tonight--he will be back online within 48 hours!

10/8/2010 6:56:27 PM
is now at Meijer Heart Center @ Spectrum Health--not good...Several blockages were found. He was transferred by ambulance last night. Please keep him in your prayers...

10/7/2010 6:09:45 AM
For dear friends of my sweet Carl-he is in the hospital--was admitted with severe chest pains, they are not sure whats up--but obviously he will be away for a bit--mistressellies--Pam

9/21/2010 7:15:48 AM
Fall is near ah the change is nice the weather cooler and leather everywhere and you special gurls out can be more free to be yourselves by being able to shave your legs and body hair so others will not give you looks when out and about that is if your still not doing it full time and have the worry of others to be bothered with. My wish to all of you is to be able to be yourselves and understood for who and what you are and to be able to pursue those desires without any hindrances for everyone deserves to be able to pursue their dreams and passions . This is just my opinion though others may disagree but that is why we talk and discuss and learn on this venue . Hope everyone is finding what they need and finding also their special path in this journey we are all on .

9/5/2010 11:02:51 PM
When you feel totally worthless its a hard thing to feel when you see the one who has set your heart and mind and soul free and made it so good to be alive suffer. I dont know much about this silent killer all I know is that is is killing me deep down to see it ravage someone who was so active and vibrant just a few months ago. FIBRO and Lupus suffers and their partners and mates I feel for them for I know first hand the pain it not only afflicts on it suffers but those that are close to them as well. Everyones thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

8/30/2010 7:36:08 AM

Just an observation and experience so many it seems judge you by others actions and perceptions although everyone should be allowed to express themselves in this forum I agree . But why people must say evil and bad things without truly knowing you as a person simply amazes me.Maybe I am wrong but when I began my journey into this way of life many years ago respect was the main ingredient in starting a new relationship with my Superiors I was instructed to do certain things and did so out of respect and showing my true intentions but today it seems when you ask some to follow simple directions such as communicating everyday via email or phone they think it's not important this I disagree with totally for if you cant follow simple directions in the begining process how can someone trust you to do it in the long haul. I have never asked anyone to do something I haven't done myself. BUt I am not the lifestyle police so who am I to judge others by what they want to persue or how they persue it . I am just a small fish in this big pond and will always keep the way I was trained in my heart and soul and thank each one who has helped me grow and learn about the true meaning of this way of life even if I didnt agree or live up to their expectations I have learned so much from those I have served and talked to and continue to learn more from both the novice and the PROFESSIONAL Dommes and Doms that have allowed me to enter thier realm. And to those who desire to truly find their way in this way of life be true to yourself and ask your innerself is this what I truly desire in my life for people put alot of effort and emotion in getting to know both The Domme and Dom as well as the submissive or slave. THank Everyone who has entered my life for without you I would be a lost soul in this great big ocean .


8/28/2010 4:25:52 AM
To the Domme in Ohio Your rude and nasty yourself so why dont you just get a life. If YOU dont want people to read your journal then dont have one. I hate to be that way but YOur notes are rude and you dont even know me so whats your problem are you so insecure you have to use this forum to make you feel better about yourself .,

7/17/2010 11:00:13 PM

Today I had the pleasure of meeting someone who truly get the submissive life and meaning of it what a lost art I thought it was. To see someone who lights up when just discussing the what it means to them and also the sparkle in Ms Pams face as we all sat and talked. A person whos derives pleasure from giving pleasure to others without any agenda or laundry list of wants and needs. Thank you brian for giving Ms Pam and myself that today


7/6/2010 7:28:57 AM

It seems no one believes in service any more, all just want to play and take, don't understand but truly don't judge them by it. I myself always enjoyed the service aspect and thought it was a pre cursor to excellent play and a reward for tasks done well and correctly . But I understand that some just want the physical aspect which, if that makes them happy, so be it. I understand with so many avenues to help you get your physical needs met with PROs vs Lifestyle, but to me this is a way of life not a just get it when I want it. Well I guess I am just a jaded soul and long for the good old days of this wonderful way of LIfe . To each their own and may everyone find the path of this journey that fits them. Huggs and my deepest thoughts to you all.


6/26/2010 8:22:35 AM
USA World CUP FEVER BABY 1930 was so long ago

6/8/2010 2:10:07 PM
It simply amazes me that so many truly say they want a special type of experience and build a relationship and truly all they seem to do is just talk on line which is fine and if that's your fantasy or desire so be it for I am one who believes one should be able to enjoy whatever they wish without judgment , But I do believe you should be honest and upfront about it your not hurting anyone but yourselves because after a while you will have to change your profile so many times because no one will talk to you , I have made mistakes before and have owned up to them and paid for them myself, But I never when made a arrangement to meet never met traveled many miles to explore the possiblilites of finding that special one now I know how many of the people feel about being lead on , But I will continue to sift through the ones who never wish to truly experience something in real life and let them live vicariously through the internet , Trust me when I tell  if you think the fantasy turns you on Imagine what it would feel Like to experience it in real life , Trust me its much better to do it in person

5/31/2010 10:07:54 AM
Happy Memorial Day as this one ponders the day I wish to honor the servicemen and women past and present who give and gave all so I may enjoy all the freedoms I take for granted for that is the true meaning of the Day this is theirs not just a day off mind you but a day to be thankful and grateful to them all, For if not for them we all could not and would not be able to freely express and pursue our sexual desires no matter what they are we would be forced to hide and go underground I know it seems like we have too in some cases but we have the choice whether we do or not its a wonderful thing that a Dom or Domme sub or slave and especially our TS TG TV CD friends my express their beauty and passion openly if they wish, So in closing I wish to thank each Veteran young and old for allowing me the freedoms I enjoy this is Your Day Ladies and Gentleman. Thank You all

5/16/2010 9:11:40 AM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME I am truly BLessed with today

5/15/2010 9:42:54 AM
WEll Sun marks another year for me on this earth the past year has been a year of growth and learning more I sure enjoy learning from all my friends and family . Huggs to all

5/9/2010 5:01:59 AM
Happy Mothers Day to all mothers and girls who are different mothers , May your day be full of good service and gratitude for all you do ,

5/5/2010 2:46:47 PM
It amazes me that so many who desire to be who they truly want to be are ridiculed and judged by others . Everyone has their quirks and ways dont judge others until you actually get to know them for if you do you just might miss out on the greatest and most meaningful D/s relationship of your life . TO me we all should be allowed to grow and learn to  reach our full potential wether your a Dom/Domme,sub/slave,ts,tg,bi,straight,switch or whatever tag others want to use. Life should be lived to make yourself and others happy content loved and cherished for lonliness and struggles of being different are tremendious burdens to bear by yourself.

5/5/2010 6:43:22 AM
To those who celebrate it Happy Cinco De MYIAO lol

4/3/2010 9:49:02 PM
Happy Easter to all may your day go well. May spring grow in your hearts and minds and may summer delights be your forte.

2/14/2010 7:51:40 AM
Happy Valentines Day to all and especially my friends on here. Everyone deserves to feel that love no matter what or who you are. To give love and get love in return is such a beautiful thing

2/5/2010 10:48:35 AM

Hello in the event anyone in area needs any general labor done please drop me a line, No job to big or small willing to do anything no matter how dirty or small or what pay is need to find something to help pay the bills and get meds for my Ms and help us survive , Thank you in advance to everyone. And may all be blessed in everything the seek want and desire yours truly carl


11/26/2009 3:41:40 AM

Happy ThanksGiving To all who i have had the pleasure and honor to meet and talk to over the years i am thankful i have met each of you some dislike me and some disapprove of me but i am thankful to you all for you have taught me and helped me through so much that i wouldnt be where i am today if it wasnt for the teachings and criticism of you all . Thank you and may you all be blessed and loved as i am.


11/20/2009 8:12:00 AM
Ms Pam and i are also Ts,tg,cd friendly and would like to meet those in our area to talk and become friends , Hope all are doing well

9/22/2009 9:23:34 PM
As another day begins i end another day but unlike others in the past this day started on a good note with a very wonderful thing happening only time will tell what lies ahead for this one.

9/21/2009 3:27:07 AM
Today makes yesterdays disappointments and unfullfillingness history but who knows what today holds . Thoughts of what might have been or will be fill the head of this slave , Happiness is what to you and how do you achieve it the secrets are hidden under lock and key it seems to me but all i can do is to keep searching for the one that holds the key to my true happiness and the one that makes me whole and complete who is my keyholder,

9/20/2009 11:14:53 AM

i wish there was a island somewhere that was run by nothing but Dominant Men and Woman and all there was to do was service work and education with no idle time to get caught up in your mind and thoughts for this way of life i am living right now is very draining and unfulling but i made these choices and i shall live with them for to be lost is terriable and to be in a quaigmire like i am is even worse . Oh well i guess i am just a whiner and love misery


9/14/2009 1:27:37 PM
THe days and nights pass my mind and body long for the feel of a firm lash ,, THis way of life maybe is over for me i dont know i have made so many mistakes giving ones all in service is not what i expected i so long for the not sexual aspect so to speak but the sensuallity of a good flogging or cbt session. What is one to do am i a slave or just a submissive i know what makes me happy and it is the fine line service and play maybe i should just start all over and be trained differently than the way i was . i am a slave and have served my best but want more i guess i am a lost soul

8/24/2009 2:59:56 PM
Damn i need a Job anybody have a job for a slave if so Please forward it to me

7/3/2009 11:00:50 PM
To all family and friends hope all have a safe and happy 4th of July .

3/29/2009 6:54:12 AM

for the last week i have been in discussion with someone who is very in tune with me and i feel a bond that has been growing and maturing to new levels . At first i thought it was nothing for i looked at her profile alot over and over and MLAdy thought i was some sort of stalker and wasnt pleased and she challenged me on many things which i liked for it showed me how true and honest MALDY was.After awhile of us talking back and forth on here MLAdy gave me the honor of talking to her on another venue.Mlady and i have talked about alot of things personal and mental and found that our thoughts and likes and dislikes are very simular and she desires in a sub/slave the same things i desire in a Mistress . MLAdy has asked me to come to her and be her boy and we are working through somethings at the moment . MLADY has captured my mind spriit and soul and i have a tremendious feeling this will be my home so we may live out the rest of lives in a relationship we both have longed for and searched for for what seems to be a eternity, Thank you MLADY for being you and allowing me to be me


3/28/2009 3:18:04 PM
if we are subs or slaves arent we supposed to respect all Dominiants.  i realize that everyone has their own prefrence on who they should or not serve but to me to look past the outer shell and look into the inner vessal that is the true beauty of their Dominace wether they are Female. Male.TS. TG CD. black white orange or any other color. So they arent model type or large or small attractive or not to me i serve the one that lies on the inside with the passion and desire to be served properly by one. Some say i am not a true slave or sub but to me i am and those that i have served make me know that i am a good slave for they tell me that i am a good trained slave and really get it . So i will continue to serve the inner Dominace of all not matter what the outer shell looks like .

3/22/2009 2:09:28 AM

my thoughts ponder and swirl though the submissive haze though at times i feel the closeness of finding that one that a connection can be built but the sitations that are obstacles seem to much to over come to hear and see the smile that you bring to  ones face as the use your body as a canvass to paint there picture fills ones bodywith electric charges but then the sad fact comes into play will there be a next time to allow this i feel so empty when this occurs  wanting and desireing for it to go further but alas my body says yes but reality says no . So if anyone out there has built that connection with someone my hats are off to you and dont ever take for granted that connection for you too will be left all alone to ponder


3/21/2009 1:37:19 AM
Spring has sprung and i know many have spring cleaning to do and i would love to do it for you so lets get cleaning and planting those flowers and gardens i hope i can clean soon.

3/19/2009 12:07:44 AM

as your boat floats on the sea of life it will not always be calm no one knows what lies just a head on the horizon , Sometimes the seas are rough but if you have the right sails and your boat is sturdy you can surrvie the storm as i have many storms in my sea of my life i ride them out to see what lies ahead of my horizon and know that someday i will ride the sea of calmness for there is one out there that can calm those seas


3/18/2009 6:59:48 AM
i know things are tough everywhere with our economy the way it is but i need a job and am willing to do most anything i am not a freeloader i just need a chance at finding employment either in house or outside of house in return i will give proper service cleaning cooking running errands yard work light maintiance repairs i have may talents but just cant seem to catch a break i know this probably seems odd to some trying to network this way but where i live the opportunities are minimal i will answer all i promise you that much for to me that is the only respectful thing to do is reply to all even if they are neg i always reply in a positive manor for i am not what everyone desires in a sub or slave and i understand that and i respect anyone and everyone.

3/16/2009 9:53:44 PM
there comes a time in ones life that they look at it and wonder how can i become a better submissive or slave at least i do i wonder if there is a place where one can go and be trained better to get thier mind right and become what they so desire to become not perfect but better so when doubt and insecurity creep in he or she doesnt make wrong decisions that jeopordize their progress they have made. But then again i never want to stop learning and growing just complete, The journey takes many twists and turns for me it does anyway, i grow weary and tired and feel so useless and all alone and wonder if it will ever be what i want or what someone would want of me total and complete solitude. But alas i sit here and dream and only hope it isnt the impossible dream

3/15/2009 1:24:38 AM
the days are long and nights even longer how long must one suffer for mistakes made a lifetime . Well i have made many mistakes in my journey but have learned hard and valuable lessons along the way , To each one i have hurt truly accept my  deepest heartfelt apology, i know i probanly dont deserve your forgiveness but each one of you are still apart of me. i know only do the service part of my calling and so miss the physical and reward that comes of good service, To see a Dom/Domme scene of itertwine wwith eachother and see the passion and hear their pleasure make me wonder even morrwhat if i had done this differently would i feel that closness and that affection . till then i just travel through time spending lonely empty nighs and days and seeking the truth that lies inside me

3/11/2009 10:13:03 PM
Dont ever let your maleness get in the way of your service or servitude if you do you may lose the opportunity of a lifetime. Lesson learned the hard way

3/1/2009 3:01:30 PM
The Mistresses come up with a challenge for thier submissives and slaves they put all of us on chairs and blindfold us and tie our hands behind our backs, The object they say is to see if we truly are in tune and know them by their touch smell and mindset they do not speak a word the silence is maddening but with our mind in that state we can better consentrate on what is happening for we know all too well that this is a teaching tool to make sure we are theres and know them completly . THe touch of one the smell and their ways should be imbeded in our minds . Each one makes their way around us. How would you meet this challenge i ask i know i have much more to learn about it.

2/25/2009 12:30:47 AM
the tears flow down my face of the thoughts of relationships past and present when it seems so dark where is one to turn the religious turn to their god others have others to share their pain but alas it seems i have no one to turn to but i keep trying to build strong friendships and guidiance from people in our community just a brush of the face or a kind word would be of so much comfort in these very dark days i think we are all having in our country these days with unemployment skyrocketing and families losing all we must all comfort each other and share are hopes and joys to let each one know that their is a bright horizion somewhere over that crest

2/23/2009 3:11:09 PM

it seems i am uncapable of fidelity but i am capable of loyalty. i am one who seems to always look for newer and more learning experiance in this way of life i have chose . Some say i am a player others call me a fake i myself let others decide what they think i am but deep inside i know i am a worthy and good servant , What are your thoughts of one like me please let me know


7/22/2008 3:30:29 AM
What is the determining factor when searching for a Dominant to own you and for a Dominant to own someone. Is it looks race gender,age or their kinks or your fantacy of what they may do to you? Or do you look for growth stability and chemistry. i try to look to the inside and service what a beautiful thing service is but alas its not about that lately you may be a very good service sub/slave but who will give you the chance to prove it mmmmmmmmm maybe someday i for one can only hope.

7/21/2008 11:06:59 PM

Fear of the of the unknown that is a very real fear do you just take a leap of faith without knowing what will happen on the word of someone you never met in person. Well i guess some do this everyday in this life but are you a player which some say you are for not taking this leap i ponder this daily. Well just my thoughts would like to hear yours if anyone desires to share but i know some on here dont care to do that they just want to keep it to themselves and dont care to teach and help others that desire to be taught correctly and properly. i myself never want to stop learning how to become a better servant no matter what the cost or what labels people want to put on me .


7/16/2008 11:39:58 AM
Well today was the day from hell lost my job in Jan and my ex took me back to court and the judgement i signed was upheld so know i get to give her 500 a month which means who could i actually serve if i had to work full time outside of home it wouldnt be fair to the one or ones i did serve now would it. But no that isnt all of it was supposed to leave in a week to meet a great couple and then i find out my unemployment ended which puts me in a finacial bind so i cant go. To all those out there that doesnt think Masters and Mistresses put alot of time and effort into meeting the right sub or slave dont they do they truly do. Not that i am a goody two shoes but please for their sake and yours please make sure that everything is taken care of in your personal life before you waste their time and effort they put into meeting you .No wonder it is so hard to meet good people in our way of life for the disappointments are many. i myself have a deep hurt that i have disappointed them one i hope will heal for them and me but mostly them .

7/9/2008 5:35:46 PM

life decisons are tough to say the least but the decison to turn your mind,body,soul.and whole being of to the Power of someone else seem to some to be like taking out the trash i know there are many that say this or that and never really mean it but to just say you will do these things without seeing or feeling the chemistry of the ones you are to serve to me is very unfair to all parties concerned but that is probably why there are so many still seeking the ones to serve or the ones to serve them. Time to ponder time to think time to care and feel the true submissiveness you have longed your whole life to feel. The journey is long and the paths are many one can only hope that their path will cross with the one that they are meant to serve and turn their will over to them . At least that is my hope .


7/8/2008 9:03:13 AM

Just would like to know what others think on this subject . You talk to someone 1 or 2 times via email and before you even get to know anything about them at all the ultimatium is get rid of all your possesions and come here and give up your rights and thoughts in 1 week and become our property now this is just my opinion but isnt that very ufair to all parties concerned , If i am wrong please tell me and i do answer all my mail. Safe,sane,and consentual i was taught been then again your never to old to learn new things,


7/7/2008 12:40:09 PM
Just a thought someone ought to open up a sub/slave bootcamp where all the Doms/Dommes train sub/slaves to be proper in all aspects of our way of life . Probabaly already is one just havent found it yet. LOL

7/7/2008 12:31:26 PM
Im having day dreams about night things in the middle of the afternoon . If i dont watch it i know someone will say its corner time for you boy .

7/3/2008 3:49:07 AM
as all the slaves and submissives are in their quaters they hear the tone of the bell summoning them all tho the dungeon they all scurry to rush to the dimly lit place and assume their positons on the floor their heads down arms outstretched wrists crossed legs behind them crossed at ankles. Off in the distance they hear the footsteps of the Master and Mistress as they make their way to all of the slaves and subs that are there. Standing in front of their servants they each take their crops and instruct the servants of their duties they will preform to prepare for the upcomming party they are having wanting to make sure every detail is taken care of. The servants are so happy that Master and Mistress has summoned them to do thier bidding for it is their desire and longing that the room is perfectly prepared for the event . Master and Mistress instruct we have a week to prepare so it is time to start . All the servants each one with a special task quietly one by one go to Master and Mistress and kiss the boots saying thank you for allowing me this honor to serve you. As Master and Mistress leave there is a buzz around the dungeon as the work has begun. This only the start and we shall make Master and Mistress Proud of our service.

7/2/2008 4:20:39 PM

I wrote to several to wish the a very Happy and Safe 4th of July and their reply was why fill up our email with such a silly wish welllllllllllll excuse me. This way of life is about respect honor and devotion i was just trying to be respectful is all . WEll anyway i hope everyone has a Funfilled Safe and Sane and Spanking good 4th  of July


6/28/2008 1:51:16 PM
Ok the time of grieving and feeling sorry for myself is over i dont care what those phsyco doctors say i know the best therapy for me is to get back up on that service horse and start being of service to someone. Even though my job status has changed i am not looking for a free ride willing to work hard serve hard and please hard to anyone that needs and appreciates a good servant. So anyone that wants to take a chance on willing servant seeking a new lease on life please let this one know. Thanks to all and may peace and joy be with you all

11/3/2007 4:30:42 PM
Hopes run high with anticipation and excitement for there is one out there that really knows what this life that has chosen us is all about its not just the excitement of getting to play but the pleasure and fullfillment you get when you are serving and doing the tasks to make the Mistresses life easier and lighter and she glances at you and you see that sparlke in her eye and the smile on her face and she brushes by you and gives you a little pat on your ass as your doing your cleanining and says good boy how orgasmic is that to me it is a very sensual and rewarding gesture on MLady's part now that is the life .

10/26/2007 3:13:29 AM
The Sun arises another day and still no sunshine comes my way I know some may call it whinning or begging or whatever they see it as but to me its just letting my feelings out so I dont keep them building up inside so the may not fester and become like a cancer eating away at your soul. To many your just a man looking for a cheap thrill to others your a joke for being kind to people you hardly know but you know what and who you are and to you ownself thine be true. So you go on another day and the sun sets on another unfilling day but you go to bed and know the Sun will arise again another day and just maybe just maybe sunshine will find a way to shine on you this fine autumn day, God gave me the gift of submission and I know my place is to give it away to the one that may pass my way . Hope every one finds their own sunshine to fill their day

10/11/2007 11:12:49 PM
Does anyone but me read the journals of others or am I just that strange I dont care if they think I am strange for I am who I am a service submissive longing and yearning to do the cleaning and anything it takes to be of service I long for the days that they will be filled with that and what comes with it the Feeling of a Strong Dominate Woman conforming me to meet her desires of dedicated service and a man she can mold to fill you most deepest longings of both service and personal play toy. WIll it ever come true or am I just destined to be searching forever if that is what it takes that is what I will do no distance is to far to fullfill both the needs of MLady.

10/8/2007 11:05:33 PM
My heart pounds louder and louder with anticipation of kneeling before the one I Know is out there that is looking for a man with not only a submissive attitude but someone who lives to serve and nothing else matters , His days and nights are filled with these thoughts and yet nothing but he continues to peruse the profiles of the Great Dommes here reading and grasping at their every word in the discriptions of what they seek in a submissive and reading their journals learning from each one knowing that he will be there one day someday maybe tomorrow kneeling and bowed and in peace with myself and the world yes that is my hope for today.

7/28/2007 2:22:02 PM

To all I have been told by some that my screenname on here is misleading and that is not what I intended at all I just wish I was owned also some have told me I have not stated properly my marital status I have been separated from my soon to be ex wife since Nov of 2006 and will provide all paperwork and reciepts to prove that my divorce will hopefully be final in oct . I have always tried to tell all the truth about this and as everyone knows some just like to stir the pot for their own selfish reasons , as if I need any help at being singled out by people in our community to make my search even more difficult . Well I know what and who I am and will always try my best to be honest and respectful to everyone I talk to and wish everyone the best in what they seek and desire in life


7/21/2007 10:26:56 PM
Well another month goes and comes and my desires to be of service are not fulfilled I try and keep up these hopes but alas I seem to think that all they are just that hopes I know I could be a good service submissive because of my desire and my submissive heart and soul but they keep going unfulfilled . I keep asking myself what is it in me that is not useful to someone or is it me not wanting to quit my job and go off into the unknown not knowing what it holds for me or the one I am to serve. Or am I just a crazy man who is willing to serve but never but never put to use by someone . Well I know what I am and who I am and that will never change wether I am in service to someone or not I am a submissive today tomorrow and forever that will never change

6/10/2007 8:19:44 AM
Maybe its wrong of someone like myself to keep searching wanting and longing to learn more to expand your knowledge to want something more and more to experiance the thing your whole life you need but I cant help it the more I explore the more I need to feel this not just by words or letters but in r/t so if thats wrong I accept it but tell me what I am supposed to do please just expain it to me thank you all who have helped me on my journey and mabe with help I can stop this hunger thats deep inside my belly

5/28/2007 10:47:52 AM
To all those I have been in contact with I wish to thank you but I have been instructed to close all contact with those I have talked to by MZ Storm and I wish to repect her wishes and will do so , thank you all very much again good bye osb

5/25/2007 10:03:53 PM

I keep wondering why I keep making the same mistakes over and over when will I learn not to expect some to understand me it is something I always do when will it end or will it ever end is the real  question. Many letters sent out to no avail do I give up . No I say but its getting harder to keep getting so disappointed. But I am a submissive and know that I will never achieve the happiness I seek unless some takes me to control ah the angst of being all alone . I should be used to it by now but its something I cant get used to


4/29/2007 9:15:30 PM
Well here we all are in our own minds I just dont know what the future holds . I hold out hope to find that one that will take me to the next leval in my journey my body aches in anticipation maybe it is just foolish to try and find true peace in happiness in what I seek or maybe I am not giving the right approach all help is very much appreciated and will not go unoticed with devotion and respect I know there are Dommes out there who would love to break in someone and take them to the limits or there realm I will keep searching for the one to take me to the top of my journey thanks to all that have helped me so far and you all are in my heart mind and soul yours truly osb

4/22/2007 6:40:25 PM
If anyone reads these things please help me understand why I cant stop feeing the need and burning desire to be in full body harness,cuffs,ankle restraints,full chasity on my knees looking up into the power of each Domina eyes on this website. I just cant stop feeling this need want and desire its like a hunger inside me that no matter what I try I just cant keep it fed. Please if I am just plain looney nuts and crazy let me know Please anyone I beg of you . I will take all thoughts on this matter very seriously and will be indebted to you greatly thank you osb

4/20/2007 10:19:37 AM
Even though several from here have tried to snuff out the flame that burns inside of me the fire only grows hotter,longer,and stronger the fire that may consume me if i cant find the one that will feed it to control it to their will and ways to use it for their pleasure and comfort the fire keeps burning and burning and yes i have that burning desire to find the one to serve in all aspects osb

4/20/2007 7:50:07 AM
My hope is rising had a great conversation with a wonderful Special Domme from Tx . Ms Sylverdawn thank you for your imput and help you are a special Domme and can only hope i may be fortunate to find someone like you someday .

4/17/2007 12:20:22 AM
you cant sleep you spend endless hours reading great profiles of all the Great Dommes on here. Hoping that one out there is the one to take you to your next step on this journey.Your body aches for the attention and snap of the leather as it fulfills your need you knowing that nothing else will fullfill your happiness but the attention of your Mistress and making your body talk to her as only she can do. Sometimes you think your crazy and long for the time to end that you dont feel so all alone but you will not give up. Alas you just keep searching and hoping and praying that she to is not giving up until she finds you. i hope our paths cross so we may both be given the gift her of Dominace and me of submissiveness osb

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whore2trainhere
 
 Age: 25
  New York