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"too little too late"
that quote is the story of my life, maybe I should get it tattooed in a language I dont speak as a reminder to myself that no matter what sometimes my best isnt good enough and that beating myself up over every little thing in my life doesnt help.
Fucks&kisses. |
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So while responding to a message I found a bit of a conversation I had with a man a few months ago. It really is shocking how well this fits in my life right now.
GUYWHOMESSAGEDME on 6/22/08 at 11:10 PM:
Hello there, I am doing one of my not so famous surveys and would like your opinion. Is it more important to a girl that a man can actually dance or is it just as important that he is at least willing to get on the dance floor and at least try, risking making a fool of himself? Your thoughts are appreciated. RP
evoLChristine on 6/22/08 at 11:15 PM:
the fear of rejection is what holds people (men and women) back from dancing. because dancing is really only body movement to music or no music, right? so i think people find dancing attractive because its shared movement and lacking the fear of rejection. make sense? but thats just what i think... and im by no means your average girl.
oh I was so ment to find this at 2am on a sleepless night.
Fucks&Kisses
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life lesson... if you feel unwanted like a 3rd wheel go be a unicycle so the Bike can be happy without you.
lonelyfucks&sadkisses |
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I'm totally crushed so I no longer play pornstar on the internet....
legs and lips are closed...
(no fucks&kisses) |
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With fresh bruises on my ass I want nothing more then to pick at him and snuggle...
I hope one day I will be good enough for him.
as always...
Fucks&Kisses |
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I am so addicted to the show TRUE BLOOD... Ive wasted the last 3 hours of my life watching it.
I <3 fang bangers.
Fucks&BITES&Kisses. |
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honestly if I had sex daily I would be a VERY happy and relaxed girl.... just a thought.
Fucks&Kisses |
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i lubba you jilly... xoxoxxx |
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Last night was WAYYYY fun! and tonight were doin a LIVE webcam show :)
a bucket full of
FUCKS&KISSES |
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So tonight I will be at Passive Arts... Look for the BAD KITTY hehehehe
never be without...
Fucks&Kisses |
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A bit of advice... NEVER WORK FOR FAMILY. I'm looking for a job. Anyone wanna hire me?.... Please?
as always.
Fucks&kisses |
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA so my mom just walked in my bedroom and announced "ITS SERIOUSLY FUCKING BLOWING OUT THERE" and me not thinking I say "oh that sounds like fun" and the face she made was PRICELESS and made me realize "oh shit your my mom and you were talking about the wind"
so the moral of this story is... I am a serious perv and its really windy outside.
FUCKS&KISSES! |
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mmmmmm subspace makes me happy...
fucks&kisses |
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After 2 days of being in a beyond great mood because of an amazing friend.(thank you lucky your my favorite) And I lay here listening to BenHarper after a really good orgasm life is good...
fucks&kisses!
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3 sleeping pills and a nice glass of wine... if i dont sleep tonight i WILL be the mega bitch from hell tomorrow.... wish me luck.
fucks&kisses |
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This insomnia is seriously kicking my ass and the sleeping pills are just making me emotional... I haven't had a good nights sleep in over 2 months. :( I need to be chained to bed and eased into subspace. Then I might get some sleep. I guess until then I must suffer.... Wish me luck.
As always....
Fucks&kisses |
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Its friday. I have a bottle of reallllly nice white wine and the house all to myself... Its naked jucuzzi time!!!
I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend... I KNOW I sure will. ;)
Fucks&Kisses! |
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i drank FAR too much last night.
fucks&kisses! |
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Tonight I will be at Passive Arts with some AWESOME friends... come say hi... i'll be the short fat girl in leopard print :)
Fucks&Kisses!! |
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Subspace is where my soul lays.
Fucks&Kisses |
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He's my heroin... and I can't say no....
I have relapsed... maybe this time it will be worth it...
no fucks&kisses..... I need loves&hugs |
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Meeting Aderial for drinks and hangin with Jilly last night was way fun... Yes I did drink FAR too much and I have come to the conclusion that I shouldnt drink beer ever. It makes me the gross drunk. So if that makes me "high maintenance" so be it. I would rather be a prude then not sleep because my tummy is in knots. But I sure do like a good hard cider.... mmmmmm peach cider...mmmmm so gud! hahahaha!!!
So in the end I love Jilly and I made a awesome new friend. ANDDDDD I'm super excited to meet Anthea.
Fucks&kisses! |
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So now that I have taken a big deep breath. It's time to focus on what makes me happy and put myself first in my life. I will no longer let the words of others control me. Only actions can guide me now.
I really am proud of myself.
Fucks&Kisses |
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I am so tired of being treated like shit.... It's seriously killing me. |
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I have to go get my annual check-up today. UGH I hate going to the doctor. I love how I adore getting tied up and beat for hours but going to the doc is torture. Its almost as odd as me not dealing with violence (media) yet loving the BDSM lifestyle. HAHAHA Oh i guess I'm just an odd bird.
Fucks&Kisses! |
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Today I'm taking the frenchies to Disneyland... I am so excited I didnt sleep last night.... I love feeling like a kid again. :)
Fucks&Kisses |
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I am beyond grossed out.
seriously. EW. |
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Off to Venice beach then Hollywood... I love having exchange students. :) I show them what the USofA REALLY had to offer... HAHAHAHA
Fucks&kisses. |
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SOMEIDIOT on 8/12/08 at 9:55 PM:
Dirty, dirty little girl. Tell me in one sentence how bad you are. Use the words sorry, ass and knees..
evoLChristine on 8/12/08 at 9:58 PM:
you need to get your sorry ass knees a lesson on how to approach a girl. dont message me again
HAHAHAHA im having a shitty birthday but that sure did make me laugh.
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I'm finally 21!! YAY!!
Fucks&kisses!! |
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tonight will be full of drinking the pain away and naked jucuzzi time.
good times will be had by all involved :)
fucks&kisses :) |
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Fresh ink feels AMAZING.
A la fin tout ira bien. Et si tout ne va pas bien, ce n'est pas encore la fin.
In the end all will go well. And if all is not well, it is not yet the end.
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Any one want to help me get rid of a speeding ticket I got in Claremont last night? The pig of a cop was hiding with radar. Don;t get me wrong I have nothing against cops, but isn't that entrapment? Oh well just one more time I get the short end of the stick. :(
Someone please help me?
Fucks&kisses |
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I'm seriously tired of being pushed aside. I need someone to want and love me for who I am and what I am.
(no fucks or kisses.) |
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I can't sleep... :( I need to be beaten and tied to my bed for the night... Oh well.... sleeping pills it is!
Fucks&Kisses |
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one month from today is my birthday... VEGAS BABY!
whos coming to give me my spankins? |
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Just a quick note.... DON'T text me all night if you want me to wake up at 6:03 in the morning in a good mood. I have enough trouble sleeping as it is let alone when my phone is blowing up all night because some vanilla boy misses me. Don't get me wrong I'm flattered he feels so strong about me but my goodness when I say "I don't feel that way about you" I MEAN IT.
note the time. and don't fucking bug me. |
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I have decided it kinda really bugs me when people add me an "admirer" or want to be my "friend" yet can't get the balls to message me and say hi.... I'm not as vicious as I look people... I really don't bite toooo hard.
Fucks&Kisses :)
LittleMissChris |
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My phone took a shit and I lost all my contacts and pictures and videos and everything... :(
Like the salt says
"when it rains it pours"
Fucks&Kisses |
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So friday turned out to be an AMAZING night at LairDeSade. And a big thank you to everyone for the messages of concern, but honestly i dont think theres much that can't be solved with a bottle of good wine and 15 minutes with my rabbet vibe.
hahaha yes I just said that.
Fucks&Kisses! |
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I am so fucking sad right now it's unreal. |
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"I am not your sub until I am your only sub."
I am just wording my thoughts perfectly lately, as lame as it sounds its something I have trouble with. I am so submissive in relationships and have so much trouble voicing my needs. I am so proud of me and all my growing up. :) I am so proud of me. |
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a quote I said while in a conversation with an amazing man about guys my age.
"i dont want to raise a child i want a relationship" |
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time is running out and i am once again going to fail. i just know it and i HATE this feeling.
the white flag is up.
im done. |
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This whole living a double life is starting to get really hard. |
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I am NOT poly!! I can swing thats fun... but at the end of the night I am his only and he is my only. I do not share well and it hurts to think I lost 2 really good people in my life to see that.... I miss them.
Life's lessons hurt. |
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Love you Jilly. I would so knife a bitch for you and the munchkin. hahaha my munchkin misses yours. |
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I need a job... Who wants to hire me?
Please? |
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If anyone wants to send me a female fawn Pug for my Riley we would love you tons. :)
It's worth a try right?
Fucks&Kisses! |
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cutest thing ever!
http://www.linein.org/media/screenclean.swf |
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isnt it funny when you find someone on this site you havent seen in years. i had no clue he was into this lifestyle. whats even more funny is we used to fuck... like good fog the windows in the bedroom fuckin. hahaha oh collar me late at night makes me giggle. |
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BINGLE JELLS!!! Wishing everyone a very merry christmas. a kick ass kwan-za and a happy han-a-ka
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(I) <~~~ ITSA BUTT hahahahahahahahahahaha!!! |
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...i really think being truely submissive at heart and wanting nothing more then to make the people i love happy putting myself second is what i live my live for... |
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Lair De Sade on saturday was AMAZING. Thank you Sir for the AMAZING session that had me in total bliss for hours. |
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i can not find my red nail polish. and i am getting upset. |
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i am addcited to tetrus. damn you collar me games! |
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