My goodness it has been a while. My apologies. Something happened in the local kink scene and I decided to take a break for a while. You have to be careful about who you trust, you know? So I took a step back and reevaluated what all I know about people.

"People who quote others often have no words of their own"- MarineKitty

I just thought of an awesome sensation play. Fill up a tub with cool-luke warm water, just enough to reach up to your side, and do a hot wax scene like that.

Gonna get my nipples pierced soon.

Okay lets get this straight right now shall we? A fin dom is not a little boy or girl who has to resort to begging for money over the internet. Lets face it, no matter how much they make it look like a demand they are begging for your time and money. Not an attractive feature for any dom IMO. A fin dom is a person who takes control of the finances within an established D/s relationship, they do not beg for money. Especially not here on the internet. The same with pro doms; they provide services and do not seek out customers, customers come to them. So if you are a sub and think that these money beggars are legit, I can assure you that they are 100% fake.

Abrasion

Lets admit it rope burn happens, but as far as kink goes, this doesn't even register on my scale.

Age Play

Not my thing though I was once interested in it. All the other age players made me hate it.

Animal Roles

Hell yeah! I love animal roles. I'm into kitty play after all

Anal Sex-cock

Done it before, and I'll probably do it again.

Anal Sex-dildo/butt plug

I have yet to do this. I hope to find an owner who has interest in doing this with me.

Anal Sex-fingers/fist

Fingers are fine, fist, not so fine.

Arm & Leg sleeves

I'm curious about this one.

Aromas

The sense of smell is wonderful.

Asphyxiation

Not big on it, but I do get the attraction. It makes you all light headed and floaty feeling.

Auctioned for Charity

Like anyone would buy me, but if it's for charity I wouldn't mind trying.

Bastinado

 um ya no

Bathroom use control

You can try, but I have no problem peeing on a carpet, floor, bed to prove the point that I don't like this.

Bestiality

Hell no! That is animal abuse and I am completely against it.

Beating soft

Had it done before, and I liked it.

Beating hard

This I didn't like so much, but I admit I liked the dull pain that was there afterward.

Being Bitten

I like it as long as you can find the right spots to do it.

Being Blindfolded

Mmm, I love blindfolds. They heighten all of your other senses.

Being Gagged

I do like ball gags, bits, and pillow gags.

Being serviced-sex

Who can say no to this?

Big Men/Women

define “big”?

Bikes

Motorcycles turn me on so much. Too bad I never got to ride on one.

Biting

I'm a cat, I like to nip and bite at things.

Blood Play

Nope, all the nopes. This does nothing for me.

Blow Gun Play

As long as I'm the one using it.

Breast Bondage

Oh yes, I have found that I like breast play and torture very much.

Branding

I have a micro branding of a paw print on my left shoulder. So I guess we can count this one as done.

Boot Worship

Ew I don't think so.

Bondage-Light
Yes Yes Oh god yes.
Bondage-heavy

See above

Breast Binding

Mmm, again I'd love to try.

Breast Clamping

Nothing turns me on faster then having my nipples squeezed.

Breast Whipping

I haven't tried this yet, but I'd like to see how a small flogger would feel.

Brown Showers

fuck no. Hard limit.

Cage

I want to try being caged so bad.

Canes:

I have not been able to try, but I am curious.

Cat Fighting

This actually disgusts me believe it or not. I think watching girls fight for enjoyment is retarded.

Cat O' Nine Tails

I'd love to be hit with one, but never have.

Catheterization

Does nothing for me.

Cattle Prod Play

Tried it once, and my protector will laugh as I say “never again.”

Cells/Closet-confined

Right up there with being caged.

Chauffeuring

can’t drive, so technically I'm the one who gets chauffeured

Chains
I know someone who does bondage with chains. I'd like to see what it's like in comparison to rope, and cloth ties.

Chastity Belts

Willing to give it a whirl. I've been celibate for over two years so I don't see this as being a challenge.

Chemical Play-peppermint oil,
tiger balm, rubbing alcohol etc.

Oh my gods, yes.

Clothespins

Been there done that. I still like them.

Cock worship

I'm good at this, just not at giving blow jobs.

Cold Room

I like the cold. I always say that I'd rather freeze to death then burn to death.

Collars-scene

Yes, collars mean a lot to me when one is given from an owner to pet it signifies that the pet and owner are one. However, I am not above wearing a play collar for scening.

Collars- 24 hours

I would if I could, just not while I'm asleep.

Corsets-wearing

I love corsets. I need more of these.

Cross Dressing

I used to do this at anime conventions so I don't mind it. It just doesn't do it for me.

Cuffs-leather

The smell of leather no matter what item is made from it just sends tingles to my brain.

Cuffs-metal

The coolness of metal on skin is an amazing sensation. I have not tried them, but I wouldn't mind.

Cunt Licking

What girl doesn't enjoy a guy eating her out?

Cunt Torture

This I have to say no on.

Cupping

Fire cupping is fantastic, not kink as much as it is a deep tissue massage. I'd love to learn how to do this.

Cutting-temporary

I'm not into cutting.

Cutting- Permanent- i.e. ash rubbing

Again, not my thing.

Cowboys/Cowgirls

I can be your little cowgirl kitty. Yeehaw!

Daddy/boy

I don't mind Daddy types they're just one step away from being a pet owner in my book.

Decorative Bondage

I love watching this being done, but I fear I don't have the patience to have it done to me.

Depilation- remove all body hair

But I like some of my body hair! I'm going to say no.

Diaper Play

I thought about it and thought about it, I'll wear one, but that is about all I will do is wear it.

Denim

How is this a kink? Oh, well maybe a nice denim flogger?

Dilation

No thank you.

Dildoe

Sure!

Domestic Chores

I try to do these but my physical limitations don't allow me to do much.

Double Penetration

Sure as long as one is a toy. I'm not one for threesomes.

Dog Training

As in puppy play? Well cats are more my thing, but we can share some of the same training.

Drawing Blood-any form

Only if it's an accident will I allow this.

Edge Play

have done things in the past that have pushed some boundaries between being safe, and dangerous.

Electric Play

My protector lovingly calls me a lighning bug, can we guess why?

Electric Play- remote control

Never tried this, but with electricity I am willing to try almost anything once.

Enemas

No thank you.

Erotic Humiliation

I personally don’t see how this is hot, but maybe we can talk about it?

Erotic Pain

Pain is subjective so this might be acceptable.

Examinations-physical

I secretively have a huge doctor fetish.

Examinations-medical

This would work right into my medical fetish so yeah!

Exhibitionism

I am a naked baby, always have been, so bring it on!

Eye Contact Restrictions

As long as you are making me look at you when we speak. I naturally don't make eye contact, and I like being forced to look people in the eye.

Face Slapping

Maybe.

Fantasy Rape

This is a soft limit for me, meaning I might warm up to the idea if it is with the right person.

Fantasy Gang Rage

This one is a hard limit, a no go, never ever.

Fear Play

I don't like feeling scared, a little hint of fear and anticipation is always good, but when you are constantly pushing that button you might hit one of my triggers.

Fellatio (cock sucking)

I wish that I was better at this, but I suck at it, and not in a good way.

Fellatio (dildoe sucking)

I actually do this all on my own so yeah I don't see why not.

Figging (ginger root)

Soft limit, I'm willing to try.

Fire Play

Done this, loved it. I even got my own mini fire play kit.

Following Orders

As long as they aren't vague I will do this with out a doubt.

Foot Worship

As long as the feet are taken care of ,yes.

Food Play (vegetables as dildoes, licking food off body parts, etc)

Somehow I cannot mix food and sex.

Forced Dressing

Really? How about you pick out my clothes an let me put them on. This sounds too much like clothing a two year old.

Forced Homosexuality

Not cool, no.

Forced Heterosexuality

again not gonna happen

Forced Masturbation

How do you force someone to masturbate?

Forced Nudity

Have we seen a pattern yet? If not here is the answer again: no.

Forced Servitude

Submission and service I provide freely and willingly to the person who is my owner.

Fucking-rectum-fingers

Been there, don't mind it at all.

Fucking-rectum-fist

Unless you want my fist in your face I'd say no.

Fucking-rectum-cock

This is fine with me.

Fucking-rectum-dildoe

Again, not a problem.

Fucking-vagina-fingers

Yes!

Fucking-vagina-fist

Again, no.

Fucking-vagina-dildoe

I'm down for this.

Fucking-vagina-cock

As long as you are my boyfriend and owner.

Full Head Hoods

Never got to wear one, so I don't know. I don't see any problem with it though.

Gags

I like gags so yes.

Garter Belts/stockings-public

I am fine with this, not really a kink as much as it makes me feel sexy.

Gasmasks

Do nothing for me.

Gates of Hell

If you want to wear one that's fine, bit id does nothing for me.

Given Away-temporarily

I don't mind it as long as sexual play isn't expected.

Golden Showers

Red red! Hard limit!

Gun Play

This interested me at one point, but generally the sound of a gun turns me on.

Hairbrushes-spanking

Not a kink as much as general spanking is.

Hair Pulling

OMG yes! Not only does it turn me on, but it also makes me feel like a little kitten being carried by it's momma.

Handcuffs

Any kind of restraint turns me on.

Hand Job-giving-cock

I'm not great at it because my hands wear out fast.

Harness-leather

I want to wear one so bad, but I lack the money to buy one.

Harness-rope

I lack patients for it, but if I really want to I can stand still long enough to get one.

Harness-suspension

Sadly I have been told by a rope master that I should not be suspended.

Head-getting-clit

If you know how to go down on a girl you will make me a very happy kitty. If not, that's still okay.

Heavy Men/Women

I have no problem with people slightly heavier then me, and I am no small fry.

High Heel Worship

I can worship anyone who is able to tolerate wearing high heels.

High Heel Wearing-public

Sadly due to my back I can only wear flats. Heels put me out of commission for days.

High Heel Wearing-punishment

If you want to damage me go ahead, but if you want to punish me I'd suggest something else.

Hobble Skirt Wearing

I want to try one of these. I bet it would be so funny.

Homage with Tongue

I do this very well. I love body worship.

Hot Waxing

This is one of those things that get's my motor purring! Right up there with electro play.

Humiliation in Private

I will mark this as a soft limit because I have triggers with this, and setting me off best be done in private.

Humiliation in Public

Hard Limit

Hypnosis Play

I've done this before, and while I find it to be more like a guided meditation then a hypnosis I do like it.

Ice Cubes

This is something that I have yet to try, but I would like to. I giggle as I think about ice cube torture.

Inducing Multiple Orgasms-getting

I can do them, but I much prefer my booming orgasm over multiple little ones.

Immobilization

Willing to try.

Including Others

I am a very one person individual romantically so that is a hell no, hard limit, RED light motherfucker. However I won't mind having a play partner, or multiple tops during a scene.

Infantilism

Does nothing for me and is a hard limit.

Injections

Hard Limit

Intense Pain

Pain is subjective. So it will have to be discussed and tested to see if I am okay with it or not.

Intricate Rope Bondage

Again I love shiabari, but I fear I don't have the patients for it.

Interrogations

I wouldn't mind trying this once.

Kidnapping

This would have to be discussed in detail prior to me saying yes.

Kneeling

I cannot stay on my knees for too long, so we'll have to come up with an alternative position.

Knife Play

Knife play tickles my brain and messes with me so much, I love it. There can be no cutting with the blade though. An accident I will accept.

Lace/Lingerie

I like it, but sometimes it seems too itchy and irritating to my skin.

Lap dancing-performing

Yes let me seduce you with my awkward moves!

Leather Apparel-wearing

Mmm, I love leather.

Lecturing

Only if I find the subject interesting.

Licking

Oh my goodness yes.

Manicures

I clip my nails and sometimes paint them, does that count?

Marks-permanent

No thank you.

Marks-temporary

This will be fine, a hickey, a scratch I can handle.

Massage-getting

Yes, make me melt under your hands.

Massage-giving

I am very good at this.

Medical Scenes

Love them!

Ménage à trois

Threesomes don't interest me.

Mental Bondage

This is a little too close to the line of abuse.

Mild Pain

Pain is subjective. Again we will discuss it when we come to that bridge.

Mind Games

These piss me off, and should be avoided.

Mind Fucks

Same as above.

Mouth bits

Mm, yes.

Mud

Mud baths, mud massage? Yes please! I want to try this at least once.

Mummification

I have never tried it, but I am curious.

Nettle Play

No, no thanks.

Nipple Clamps

Yes yes yes, and more yes! Play with my nipples and you will have me.

Nipple Torture

Something I am willing to try depending on what the top has planned for the scene.

Nipple Weights

I'm going into sub space just thinking about this. Never got to try them though.

Oil/grease

Like massage oil?

Outdoor Play

Yes the out door environment brings a whole nether element to play.

Outdoor sex

I want to try this.

Oral-anal play

It's called rimming, and I would love for someone to try this on me. I've done it to a guy, and lets just say he was not the cleanest person.

Over-The-Knee-Spanking (OTK)

I like spanking period, I don't care what position I'm in.

Orgasm Denial

Hard limit only because I have a hard enough time orgasming due to medication.

Orgasm Control

See above.

Phone Sex

I used to do this a lot when I was in LDRs.

Photographs Taken of You

I'm not photogenic at all, but as long as my sir enjoys it I'm fine.

Piercing

I would like to talk to someone about getting my nipples pierced.

Piss

Hard Limit! Just no!

Pony Play

I am a kitty not a pony! Humph!

Position Training

I would love to try this.

Power Tools

Hard limit, hard limit!

Prison Fantasy Play

Mm, you be the guard, and let me be the hardened criminal?

Pubic Hair Sculpting

I have to giggle, sure why the hell not? Lets try it.

Public Bondage

I do that at dungeons, and clubs so yeah sure.

Public Exposure

This is a hard limit because there might be teens and children around. I make it a point not to expose minors to nudity.

Public Play-private parties

Do them all the time.

Public Play-public dungeons/play spaces

Same as above.

Public Play-leather event

Same as above

Punishment-real

No.

Punishment-play

I'd rather talk about what I have done wrong so that I can make note of not doing it again.

Pussy Whipping

As long as it is light.

Pussy Worship

I don't give it, but I am willing to receive.

Religious Scenes

I'm probably going to hell anyway so why not!

Restrictive Behavior

I honestly just want the eye restriction.

Riding Crops

I have two, and they make lovely bruises.

Riding the Stallion (fucking machine)

I'd like to try this, yes.

Ritual (mantra)

If my sir wishes it of me I will try.

Rubber

Meh, does nothing for me, but I like the look of it on other people.

Scalpel Play

Hard limit, this is the same as cutting, and I don't do that.

Scarification

Well I did this once, and I'd rather leave it at that.

Scratching-getting

Hmm, light scratches yes.

Scratching-giving

I have claws, and anyone who is fucking me better be used to getting scratches.

Scourging

I kind of like hard showers so I wouldn't mind it.

Serving as a Maid

I can try but again it's hard. Maybe as play I can do this.

Sensory Deprivation

I wouldn't mind trying.

Sensory Enhancement

Hehe, yes please.

Sensual Play-sensation

I live for this. Sensual D/s is a huge turn on.

Serving

I try my best to do as my owner asks.

Serving As Ashtray

Hard limit only because this would interfere with my health, and I don't allow that kind of play.

Serving Other Dom/mes

Sexually, no. For an event, sure.

Serving As Furniture

I can't hold positions for long because of my back, so I have to say no.

Serving Orally

Only for my owner.

Serving Other Subs

I have a hard time doing this. So lets put it as a soft limit.

Serving As Toilet

No, so much no. Hard limit and police sirens, no.

Sexual Deprivation

No

Sex Without BDSM

Sure! I'm always up for a good old romp. Only with my boyfriend/owner though.

Shaving

If I have to, but this is not a kink for me.

Shit/Scat

No! Hard Limit!

Short Men/Women

Does nothing for me

Sjambok/Shambock

I want to try to be hit by one.

Signal Whip/Bullwhips/Single Tail

Oh I love whips.

Slave Bells-wearing

Yes! Anything that jingles and makes noise. I love wearing anything that make noise.

Sleepsack

Not a turn on for me.

Slings

Willing to try.

Slutty Clothing-public

Fetish wear you mean? Sure!

BDSM without Sex

I can do this, I have done this, but I really want to do BDSM with someone I can have a romantic relationship with.

Snake Bite Kit

Eee! Nipple suckers! Yes!

Sound Control

Soft limit?

Soap in Mouth

Hard Limit, this can make a person ill.

Spanking

Really? Why put all of those spanking questions and this too? Have we not read what I have been saying about this?

Speculums-anal

Medical and anal? Yes please.

Speculums-vagina

Again, yes please?

Speech Restriction

Hard limit. I have been taught to speak my mind. It would be a shame to ruin all of that hard work.

Spread-Eagle

I want to try this.

Spreader Bars

I have one but I haven't been able to try it yet. Maybe if I can find myself a nice owner... Hint hint.

Spitting

Hard limit. I don't tolerate humiliation well and spitting is the most disgusting and degrading you can do to another person.

Stocks

I would love to be put in stocks during a scene.

Straight Jacket

Again I don't mind restraints.

Standing/Kneeling in Corner

This is more of punishment, and I can't really stand or kneel for too long.

Strap On Dildo

Meh, does nothing for me, unless someone else wants to do me with one.

Strapping-full body

Like whipping with a strap? Sure why not?

Supplying Playmates for your Dom/me

It should not be expected of me, and again I am a one person woman.

Sword/Machete Play

Same as knife play.

Swapping-partners

Sexually, hard limit. For play...maybe.

Swallowing-semen

Hard limit. I just can't do it. My OCD won't let me get past the thought of it.

Swallowing-urine

No! Hard Limit!

Swinging-couples

Hard Limit

Switching Roles

We can try. If he wants to see me bee all awkward and silly.

Tall Men/Women

Size doesn't really matter to me as much as the personality.

Tattooing-permanent

I just don't want anything that visually permanent.

Tattooing-temporary

Unless you are using kids tattoos how can it be temporary? This will be fine.

Teasing

Oh I like a good tease session.

TENS Play

Yes! I would love to do some TENs unit play.

Tickling

Yes I am ticklish. Yes I fight if you tickle me. Yes I enjoy tickling others. Any >questions?

Toe Sucking-giving

I kind of like doing this, right up there with foot worship, I have no problem with it.

Toe Sucking-getting

I'm all squealy and giggly when it comes to my feet.

Training with a Second Dom/me

I pretty much do this with my protector.

Training with a Second sub

Sure?

Transvestite Play

Not a kink for me, sorry.

Transsexuals

I am bi, not pan so I apologize but this does nothing for me.

Triple Penetration

Again one man, the rest torys.

Uniforms

A man in a nice suit can do the same thing as a man in uniform.

Urethral Sounds

I wouldn't mind it, but it's not much of a kink of mine.

Vibrators

I love a good buzz in the bush. Mhm.

Vibrators-remote controlled

I would love to try one.

Vampire Gloves

For sensation play only, no bloodletting.

Victorian Play

Not my kink. I love the Victorian era, but as a king I don't think so.

Violet Wand

Yes! Oh my gods yes! This is my favorite device ever!

Voyeurism

I do like to watch, watching helps me learn.

Videoed Scenes-watching

As long as it is a real scene, and not so fake made up BDSM porno.

Videoed Scenes-participating

I do have a bit of a fetish for this, blame my protector.

Voice Training (speaking the way your Dom/me wants you to)

I think I speak rather well on my own, and if my owner likes it power for the course. I will not resort to child speak, leet speak, or altering my typing.

Wartenburg Wheel

Medical play! I love this little devil!

Wax Play-hair removal

Let's try it, and find out.

Web cam play

Soft limit. I have to be in a relationship with you, and trust you.

Wearing Symbolic Jewelry

All for it!

Whipping

Yes please!

Wooden Paddles

Right up there with spanking.

Wrestling

Just be gentle, and afterward we can have some rough sex.

Zippers

I like goofing off and playing with them because they make noise, but they aren't a kink.

I have started my own personal BDSM/petplay blog using blogspot. This is so that I kind of stop posting so many journals on here. http://bdsmkittymarine.blogspot.com/

Just bought my Hatachi magic wand! I am so excited, I've been needing a good powerful vibrator to stimulate me. Anti depression meds kill my sex drive and sensation so much.

Oh my gosh I am having such a wonderful day! I got to bring in the new year with some great friends last night. I have one thing to say, blue and orange companion cube jello shots! Geekiest and best thing ever!

Today I am playing with, and teasing some of the local kinksters online. I normally don't role play, but I get into little bouts of playfulness, and they were kind of there to play along. I like being all cute for them.

People are allowed to have standards. A submissive is still a person. Think about it.

A lot of times people look at pet play as just a form of role playing not D/s, and while there is the role play element in it there is a far more personal and spiritual side to it. It is a true mix of role playing and BDSM. I am submitting not only to an owner, but also to my primal and carnal side. On average I am just your typical submissive, but I have a special side to me. I am a pet. No, not being made a pet out of, I naturally and willingly will be your little kitty girl.

So what is that like, someone will ask me. Well easily put it is similar to a Big/little dynamic. Only pets are more independent, depending on the pet that is. Kitten, puppies, and colts may have an air of free spirit about them, but like real baby animals they require a watchful eye, and a firm hand. While cats (like myself), dogs, and grown ponies need less vigilance. Does this make us any less destructive or wild? I laugh as I say, no. We all require the training needed to make us the best animals our owners want us to be.

We are not little princesses like some people would have you think. Our training and growth as a pet is just as important as any other submissives. We don't just get away with bad behavior. We get punished, and scolded just like the rest.

So what is it like when someone is in their animal headspace? Well to be honest I can only give you that information from my point of view. Every sub is different, and so is every pet. We all feel, see, and get different experiences from our mind, and environment.

I am a kitty, for me I feel my world shrink and yet widen in a way. I get tunnel vision, but my hearing becomes extremely acute. Things that flash, and make noise catch my attention. You should have seen me when I saw my protector's fiber optic Christmas tree. I stared at that thing forever!

In order to feel more animal like some of us go mute, and only make animal sounds. That too helps us get in the proper mindset. I can talk, but only when I must. For me just thinking about my kitty mode can put me there. So going one hundred percent mute is unnecessary for me.

Gear, as we call it, can also help put us in our animal modes. Ears, tails, masks, muzzles, and bits all help to provide us with an outward appearance of who we feel we are inside.

Sometimes the way someone speaks to us can throw us into our animal headspace. The minute my protector starts talking to me like a child, or calls me by my pet name I'll go into kitten mode. The strange thing is that human words for me become muttered and confusing. All I notice is that I am being talked to, and the tone of voice. However, human animals can be trained to understand commands, just like real animals.

Hm, I can't seem to think of anything else to put here.

Well now that I am over the hump of my break up it's time for me to get back to what I love doing most. Drawing!

Now to look for some inspiration.

I am a member of the SCA. This means that I am interested in history, culture, art, and science from 600-1600's AC. I am interested in the kamakura era of Japan, which is the era right before Edo period.

I am also interested in combat archery, and I cannot wait to get my crossbow and armour.

Warning: I have pets, 3 cats, 1 dog (corgi). If you have allergies please make note of this. I will not give away or get rid of my animals. I don't care how much chemistry we have going. If I have to choose between you and my babies then I choose my babies. To me being asked to get rid of my animals is the same as asking a person to give away their child. It's just something you should not ask of a person.

What I do not tolerate in a partner:

Smoking: I just can't tolerate the smell, or taste of a smoker's mouth. Not only that smoking shows to me that you don't want to take care of your own body. I am in it for the long haul not until you jack up your own body so much that you have to get a lung removed. Not only that but you put me at risk when you smoke around me, not cool.

Cheating: Again, I am monogamous. That means that I only want you as a sexual partner, and I expect the same want and need from you in return. Cheating in my book can range from french kissing, and cybering to making out, oral, and sex. Non sexual play is not cheating as it is by definition non sexual. Cheating means that I walk out the door and never look back.

Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates it. Happy Holidays to everyone else, and a belated merry and blessed Yule to my pagan friends.

Lets see, how to get this one started... I am dealing with a recent break up, and while I am doing fine, for the most part, I still get bouts of sadness and longing. Five years is a long time to suddenly not have that person in your life any more. However, I was alone for most of the relationship anyway, so I suppose I'm getting over it faster then expected.

At this point I am looking for a vanilla relationship that can grow into a D/s one. I want to be able to get to know a person for who they are, and not what their role is. This is why I am keeping my search open to friends only at this point. I do not want a dominant, daddy, owner, or a switch. I want a person that can be there, laugh with me, cry with me, help me figure out problems, be a person first and foremost. Then we can build the trust that is needed for D/s.

I suppose I am more interested in a long term relationship, but I won't rule out being just friends with people. Friends are wonderful to have. Friends can even make great play partners.

Well I just proved to myself, yet again, that I cannot bake. *laughs* I can do the recipe, tweak it, but I cannot bake to save my life. At least I try, right?